http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=bullying The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 01:00:42 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60747#post-176331 Thu, 02 May 2013 12:04:52 +0000 sredni vashta 176331@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Tried this as a ticker ages ago. Someone suggested expanding on it so I've given it a go. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60747#post-176329 Thu, 02 May 2013 12:03:53 +0000 sredni vashta 176329@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A leading authority on English literature has suggested a revolutionary approach to battling school bullies - the recitation of poetry.</p> <p>Professor John Barking of Hay-on-Rye University says that the power of prose is a formidable weapon in the armoury of those who suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune during dinner break.</p> <p>"Never underestimate the power of the rhyming couplet in the face of mindless savagery" he says. "A well-timed stanza can be as sure a defence as an expertly-wielded set of nunchucks - only far less likely to get you into trouble with the rozzers" he chuckles.</p> <p>Asked to recommend some appropriate pieces the professor enthusiastically endorses Kipling's "If" and Owen's "Anthem for Doomed Youth" both of which he firmly believes capable of mollifying "the most belligerent of ruffians".</p> <p>"Alternatively, a stirring rendition of Tennyson's "Charge of The Light Brigade" might open their eyes to the madness and futility of violence and stir within them their latent sense of brotherhood." Pausing, he adds "You could of course try to humour them with a dirty limerick."</p> <p>Failing all else Professor Barking suggests adopting an air of stoical indifference and repeating the opening lines of Robert Service's "Portent"</p> <p>"I plant my little pot of beans,<br /> I sit beneath my Cyprus tree,<br /> I do not know what trouble means,<br /> I cultivate tranquility."</p> <p>"That just might throw the blighters." he says. "At least until the ambulance arrives."</p> <p>Professor Barking says his theories have yet to be put into practice and that a search for volunteers is ongoing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53445#post-154372 Wed, 19 Dec 2012 08:33:59 +0000 Username 154372@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice one. 5 </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53445#post-154331 Tue, 18 Dec 2012 23:13:53 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 154331@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53445#post-154292 Tue, 18 Dec 2012 20:13:13 +0000 Squudge 154292@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have some stars - an excellent dry little number, at once floral and fruity on the palate.</p> <p>(sorry, trying not to open the 'bought for Christmas, in case friends drop in' wine)</p> <p>The last para needs a little something, maybe Santa could make Rudolph a 'fast tracker', so the other reindeer can REALLY appreciate him. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=53445#post-154227 Tue, 18 Dec 2012 15:18:11 +0000 james_patching_1 154227@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Santa Claus has admitted that his decision to allow Rudolph to guide the sleigh last Christmas resulted in the red nosed reindeer becoming less rather than more popular among his colleagues.</p> <p>"I'd been on a leadership development course over in the States in the summer," explained Santa, "and they suggested that Rudolph's popularity among the other reindeer could be improved by demonstrating the key strengths he brings to the team. His colleagues were always laughing at him and calling him names and certainly never, to my knowledge, let him join in any reindeer games so I figured I had to do something to bring harmony back to the group."</p> <p>However, it appears Santa's tactic misfired. Despite initially claiming that, as a result of Rudolph's efforts, all the reindeer now "loved him" and shouted with glee that he'd "go down in history", he has now revealed that the first sight to greet them on their return from delivering presents were the words "Red-nosed twat!" and "Santa's little suck-up" spray-painted on his locker.</p> <p>Rudolph's line manager, Darren, himself a reindeer, criticised Santa's decision:</p> <p>"Well he clearly scored a complete own-goal with that one didn't he? I mean, it was true enough that Rudolph wasn't very popular but all of the lads take a bit of stick here and quite frankly it's no wonder he never joined in the games. You're hardly going to be any good at hide and seek with a big, red nose like that, you stand out a mile.</p> <p>Anyway, having him guide the sleigh was the biggest joke of all; the lads don't take kindly to bullshitting. Santa was like 'oh it's a foggy Christmas Eve, we really need someone with a bright, red nose to guide the sleigh tonight'. Bollocks! It's been foggy every Christmas Eve since I can remember and we always did just fine with the fog lights. Having Rudolph's nose up at the front just meant we kept getting pulled over by the police so Santa could be breathalized."</p> <p>On a more positive note, Santa does not foresee any similar problems this year.<br /> "Luckily I had the good sense to attend another leadership development course in the US back in October and think I've now got it sorted. Rather than making a big thing out of Rudolph's red nose and demonstrating its benefits to the team, I want to focus instead on his excellent academic record at Reindeer School. That's why I've made him a huge badge saying 'I got this year's best math grade! Be sure to come up and say hi and we can be math buddies!'" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22309#post-60244 Wed, 09 Mar 2011 07:22:04 +0000 Golgo13 60244@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it. </p> <p>Nice details. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22309#post-60238 Wed, 09 Mar 2011 04:23:15 +0000 Smartassmama 60238@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Anne and Josh Petersen tolerated the crackdown on their son's physical bullying of others. They took the high road and left their high-priced lawyer out of it when Ethan, 9, was suspended for torturing a younger student in the teacher's lounge for two hours during a school assembly on peacemaking.<br /> But when the strict no-bullying policy meant indoor recess for their eight year-old daughter after verbal putdowns and targeted exclusions of other girls, they decided they simply had to stand up for agressive children's well-being. <blockquote>"Without whisper campaigns and the occasional verbal shred of another girl's fashion choices," they pleaded at a March 7 PTA meeting, </blockquote>"how are these children ever going to bond with friends?" asked Leslie Petersen, an esteemed member of the DAR, Junior League, and a licensed vendor of scented candles.<br /> Principal Linda Morales had no comment, although she did whisper to some teachers while glaring pointedly at Petersen several times during the meeting. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=116#post-348 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 10:09:27 +0000 Mrblacker 348@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Classroom violence could get worse across the country because of allegations about Gordon Brown's behaviour, according to the National Union of Teachers.</p> <p>They're warning that pupils will see the defence put up by the Prime Minister's Cabinet colleagues over the way he threatens and cajoles them, as a tacit approval of his attitude to others.</p> <p>"We're extremely worried that classroom teachers and assistants will see bullying behaviour increase in the next few months, because no-one who works with the Prime Minister has condemned his behaviour in class, sorry Cabinet." The union's Jackie Twigg said.</p> <p>"As it is, we have a hard enough time controlling unruly pupils and this will only make things worse. Although not for me, because as I work for the union I've managed to leave the bastards behind."</p> <p>The Schools Secretary Ed Balls has dismissed the claim, but refused to give any grounds for the rejection until a bigger boy's told him what to say. </p>