http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=britains-got-talent The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 02:23:20 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42233#post-120718 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:52:15 +0000 JonnyJP 120718@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A million stars! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42233#post-120668 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 12:29:06 +0000 button 120668@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I can see you put 110% into this sub Kim. Its a yes from me. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42233#post-120665 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 11:58:27 +0000 ianslat 120665@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A pet hate of mine!</p> <p>A million stars (give or take a few) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=42233#post-120643 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 10:40:29 +0000 kimllfixit 120643@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>YouTube views of Saturday’s Britain’s Got Talent went sky-high following the emotional rendition of Beyonce’s ‘Listen’ by 9-year-old Malaki Paul; not because of his voice but because of Alesha Dixon’s “evil” feedback.</p> <p>Malaki broke down half-way through the song and needed comfort from his mother before restarting, leaving the audience in semi-scripted tears as his voice outshone all the other shite on the show. Alesha herself got up on stage to tell the youngster that it was “ok”.</p> <p>However, Dixon’s kindness proved to be merely superficial as she put little Malaki through to the next round with a mere “100% yes”. Furious comments on YouTube included many observations of David Walliams’s “One million percent yes” being given to the child just seconds before Alesha opened her mouth. One viewer noted that “if she really wants Malaki to overcome his stage fright and return for the next round, she’d have given him at least one million and one percent to boost his confidence”.</p> <p>Similarly, Simon Cowell was singled out for his heartless comments to Malaki, stating that it was merely “a yes from me”. Viewers were appalled that there wasn’t a single percentage given to backup his decision to progress the emotional child to the next round, fearing that it could have scarred him for life.</p> <p>Some of the show’s executives are more worried about the advice likely to be given to Malaki to overcome his stage fright for round two. “Some people say ‘just imagine the judges in their underwear’ but the thought of Walliams in his knickers would probably make him cry even more”. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40076#post-114403 Wed, 21 Mar 2012 04:21:25 +0000 Username 114403@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Looked good on the FP. 5 late 'uns </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40076#post-114251 Tue, 20 Mar 2012 10:09:44 +0000 Ludicity 114251@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Multiple blessings right back at you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40076#post-114129 Mon, 19 Mar 2012 12:43:13 +0000 butagirl 114129@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"One True Path" made me spit my coffee. Bless you! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40076#post-114065 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 22:07:41 +0000 nickb 114065@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes very good. And accurate<br /> If Sentamu gets Archbishopped hot potatoes will be verily juggled. Imagine P. Hitchens dilemma. Great sport all round. but I think it's going to be Julian Fellowes </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40076#post-114023 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 16:13:32 +0000 writinginbsl 114023@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lucy, you are just too good</p> <p>bless you </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40076#post-114022 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 14:54:20 +0000 quango 114022@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>John Bishop reportedly flattered, only for the penny to drop a few hours later... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40076#post-114017 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 13:47:02 +0000 dvo4fun 114017@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And it's five from me also. </p> <p>‘It’s high time people got to choose their Archbishop according to who can perform the best song and dance routine. I’m no theologian but I’m pretty sure it’s what Jesus would have wanted.’ Superb but dangerously close to satire in my view </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40076#post-114007 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 10:48:55 +0000 godly1966 114007@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Marvellous 5 stars of Bethlehem for you. I Think Terry Wogon would make an excellent judge. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=40076#post-114006 Sun, 18 Mar 2012 10:28:04 +0000 Ludicity 114006@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Church of England has confirmed that the new Archbishop of Canterbury will be selected via public phone vote on a TV talent show hosted by Ant and Dec. </p> <p>‘Bishops Got Talent will bring the Church of England into the 21st century,’ said executive producer Simon Cowell. ‘It’s high time people got to choose their Archbishop according to who can perform the best song and dance routine. I’m no theologian but I’m pretty sure it’s what Jesus would have wanted.’</p> <p>Bishops from around the country will compete for the coveted title by performing in front of a panel of religious experts: Amanda Holden, Alesha Dixon and regular ‘grumpy judge’ Professor Richard Dawkins. Poor performing bishops may be ‘buzzed off’ by the panel: each buzzer illuminating a holy cross above the bishop’s head. Three crosses in a row and the bishop will be forcibly dragged off stage by a giant crosier.</p> <p>Favourites for the title include Archbishop of York Dr John Sentamu who will ride around on a unicycle while simultaneously attempting to cut up his dog collar and juggle a number of hot potatoes, including women bishops and gay marriage.</p> <p>Meanwhile Bishop of London Richard Chartres will perform a break dance routine alongside his crew of street dancing clergy, Ecumenical Diversity. ‘The ability to body pop is crucial for the role,’ said Chartres. ‘Every Archbishop of Canterbury needs to be able to spin on his head and perform an endless number of backflips.’</p> <p>However, many believe that Cowell has already rigged the contest with his own choice, a bishop boy band called One True Path. ‘I think it is only right that young people get a chance to be Archbishop as well,’ said Cowell. ‘The Church of England need some fresh faced young boys at the helm. It would certainly appeal to the teenage market and would probably put a stop to a lot of priests converting to Catholicism.’</p> <p>Bishops Got Talent begins next week on ITV1 but will be going head to head with a new BBC show, The Holy Voice, in which another group of bishops perform a sermon for Tom Jones. ‘We hope people will stick with Bishops Got Talent,’ said Cowell. ‘Ratings are important and the last thing we want is a schism.’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26044#post-70949 Sun, 05 Jun 2011 03:41:38 +0000 doggone 70949@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The last nut jobs comment Clinched it </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26044#post-70941 Sat, 04 Jun 2011 21:03:17 +0000 antharrison 70941@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant - and true </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26044#post-70924 Sat, 04 Jun 2011 15:50:05 +0000 Maizydog 70924@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Another winner. Well done. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=26044#post-70904 Sat, 04 Jun 2011 13:06:15 +0000 Ludicity 70904@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>David Cameron has rejected claims that the coalition is fixed and that he signed Nick Clegg to his party years ago.</p> <p>The allegations were made by an anonymous internet blogger who claims that a young and innocent Clegg was secretly auditioned by Tory talent scouts before being signed to their label and cynically groomed for office.</p> <p>The blogger also claims that Clegg was deliberately ‘gayed up’ by Cameron in an attempt to make him appear more sensitive and caring than he actually is.</p> <p>‘This is a outrageous smear campaign,’ said Mr Cameron. ‘Until the 2010 election I had never met Nick and, like most people, had absolutely no idea who he was. He entered the coalition of his own accord and at no stage did I groom him for office. Ok, so I might have asked him to wear the Lady Diana wig, but that was an entirely private matter.’</p> <p>The allegations, posted by a blogger who claims to have worked for the Tories, says that Clegg was targeted by them at a very young age, first at public school and later at university. He was then given a job working for former Conservative minister Leon Brittan before going on to become a so-called ‘sleeper Tory’ as leader of the Lib Dems.</p> <p>‘He was clearly being groomed from the start,’ claims the blogger, ‘I know for a fact that before the election Clegg was given voice coaching, a shiny new suit and clear instructions to say anything and sign any pledge that might endear him to the public. The whole thing is obviously a put-up-job.’</p> <p>Police say that they have traced the blogger to an address in Downing Street, leading many to suspect that the whole story was leaked by Cameron himself, in a desperate attempt to generate interest in a flagging format.</p> <p>‘Coalition’s Got Talent remains a solid brand,’ insisted Cameron. ‘Yes, most of the performers are second-rate and some are clearly nut-jobs but I am only giving the public what they want.’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5505#post-15029 Wed, 02 Jun 2010 13:45:07 +0000 jp1885 15029@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Chortle! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5505#post-15009 Wed, 02 Jun 2010 11:45:47 +0000 Svendo 15009@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>OfCom issued a warning after ITV failed to broadcast a warning before the show that some scenes may contain images of Amanda Holden.<br /> ITV have since received 9 complaints which we hope will escalate to 40,000 by the time this article has been released.</p> <p>Shocked viewer Maureen Baker said "Seeing a man swallow a lightbulb is one thing, but then they cut away to that horrifying sight. I nearly dropped my chips". </p>