http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=brian-cox The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 21:51:12 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57726#post-167447 Mon, 11 Mar 2013 20:44:16 +0000 MikeF 167447@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Professor Brian Cox, the former keyboard player with D:Ream and now a famous particle physicist and broadcaster, has expressed deep concerns that the apparent rise of UKIP on the political agenda will bring racists and anti-racists together.</p> <p>"This high energy collision presents the danger of producing a quark-gluon plasma which could disturb the balance of the space-time-beer equilibrium" said Cox to Nigel Farage, leader of the UK Independence Party, during a pub lunch.</p> <p>The physicist and and the former commodity broker Farage had 'robust talks' in the aftermath of the Easteigh by-election. Cox is said to be worried that UKIP's desire to 'coalesce' the views of people from all sides of the political spectrum is deeply flawed.</p> <p>"Nigel, who is a good bloke and stands his round, does not fully realise what he's messing with" said Cox. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Nigel, than are D:Reamt of in your philosophy."</p> <p>Mr Farage replied, "things can only get better, hic!".</p> <p>Cox is infuriated by Mr Farage's approach. "let me explain it this way", said Cox: "Diffractively produced Z bosons in the muon decay channel in pp̄ collisions as s, and the measurement of the efficiency of the DØ Run II luminosity monitor... and other stuff I've done... I love you, you're my best mate you are, wezzme pint?"</p> <p>Mr Farage declined to comment as he was trying to get the barman's attention.</p> <p>"Fffarr..aagg..ee" said Cox into a black hole. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55369#post-160131 Mon, 28 Jan 2013 23:10:41 +0000 sponge finger 160131@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Quel fromage </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55369#post-160128 Mon, 28 Jan 2013 22:57:38 +0000 topfotogmw 160128@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I am sure the authorities have had an oeuf of them. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55369#post-160126 Mon, 28 Jan 2013 22:55:39 +0000 Squudge 160126@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>v kind - it made NiB</p> <p>I can't quite seem to get past the 'bung' theme on this Neato<br /> <a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55422">yet another blockage</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55369#post-160123 Mon, 28 Jan 2013 22:52:11 +0000 custard cream 160123@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>superb - hope it makes the front page! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55369#post-160115 Mon, 28 Jan 2013 22:32:09 +0000 Squudge 160115@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yay (chuffed)<br /> <a href="http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2013/01/28/uk-borders-agency-accused-of-stuffing-channel-tunnel-with-impatient-visa-applicants/">dodgy bung</a></p> <p>ta ... I couldn't think of how to wedge Eric Pickles in there too, sadly. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55369#post-159993 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 22:07:58 +0000 sponge finger 159993@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>&lt;Stephen Hawking voice&gt; Ha Ha Ha </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55369#post-159989 Sun, 27 Jan 2013 21:55:15 +0000 Squudge 159989@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The UK Border Agency (UKBA) has today admitted that it has been using the Channel Tunnel as a storage facility for immigrants, after complaints from Eurostar.</p> <p>Some 14,000 applicants, growing at a rate of 700 a month, have already been refused the right to stay in Britain, but are still pleading with the UK Border Agency to reconsider. UKBA started offering those awaiting their cases temporary shelter in the tunnel in 2008, where they had access to their case notes, handily presented in cardboard boxes. Since then the problem appears to have grown.</p> <p>The tunnel has become so constipated with refugees and boxes of paperwork that trains won't fit down the hole any more. The French authorities meanwhile, are complaining that their own illegal immigrants escaping from holding centres, handily close to the border, are being turned away from the tunnel as it is too full and the doors won't close.</p> <p>"The smell is like rotten eggs", sniffed a gallic official, appreciatively.</p> <p>Another 2,100 cases were still waiting for an initial decision at the time of inspection, with some dating back a decade, although the UKBA says these have now been cleared. A spokesman has strenuously denied that the individuals were 'trafficked' to a shady organisation fronted by a Professor Brian Cox, who is alleged to have 'vanished' the immigrants into the Large Hadron Collider. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39614#post-112475 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 14:30:33 +0000 Boutros 112475@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Whoops, forgot the obligatory Apple pun. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39614#post-112407 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 00:09:35 +0000 Boutros 112407@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>It was a dream come true for the lank-haired Physics boffin and football fan - the chance to meet the players in the Barcelona dressing room before kick-off. But what should have been a friendly chat between Professor Brian Cox and Argentine striker Messi turned into a heated argument over the Falklands. </p> <p>No-one quite knows what happened next, but it was Cox who donned the number 10 shirt and headed down the tunnel.</p> <p>Cox: "I played out of my skin. I knew I had to, because I was wearing Messi's shirt, and he's the number one player in the world. But I was playing for Britain, not for Barcelona. I was playing for freedom and the people of the Falklands and all that is noble and great in the Universe, and on this wonderous, tiny, insignificant dot that we inhabit. So I gave it a right old go."</p> <p>But no-one was more surprised by Cox's 5-goal tally than Cox himself. "Messi said he would get three when he went out there so I said I could get four. He said if I did he'd write to the President about the Malvinas. I'm looking forward to reading the letter now I got five."</p> <p>"Thankfully we look pretty similar so no-one picked up on it during the game. Some people are still doubting it was me." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38140#post-107801 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:22:08 +0000 Al OPecia 107801@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>She either knows where he is, or what state he is in, but not at the same time. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38140#post-107772 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 09:38:54 +0000 medici2471 107772@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>- </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35435#post-100679 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 10:39:15 +0000 medici2471 100679@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers, just a shot in the dark... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35435#post-100668 Tue, 13 Dec 2011 09:59:44 +0000 reforse 100668@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Spot on with the date if radio 4 this morning is correct. 5* to be given next week. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35435#post-99962 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 20:40:04 +0000 nickb 99962@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In the company of a neutrino. Xxxxx </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35435#post-99892 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 12:31:11 +0000 Griffin 99892@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes! Take 5. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=35435#post-99887 Thu, 08 Dec 2011 12:10:36 +0000 medici2471 99887@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>- </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32158#post-92000 Fri, 21 Oct 2011 15:47:15 +0000 Boutros 92000@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>thank you very much for some good editing and a NiB </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32158#post-91279 Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:22:45 +0000 Perks 91279@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent, you just need to send Cox to some hot exotic country so he can properly explain it with some stones and a baked bean can. Stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32158#post-91274 Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:10:24 +0000 Sinnick 91274@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent work, 5*</p> <p>Not quite sure about the story's consistency with Peston colliding then being unavailable. Minor tweak needed there, perhaps </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32158#post-91261 Tue, 18 Oct 2011 08:40:26 +0000 Dickens or Shakespeare 91261@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Forget Coxy. I think the real satire here would be to find the President of the EU and his deputy Baroness Whatshername hidden in a hole. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32158#post-91248 Tue, 18 Oct 2011 07:24:27 +0000 dvo4fun 91248@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep. I'm seeing stars. Love the idea and the Cox quotes in particular </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32158#post-91235 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 23:34:18 +0000 Boutros 91235@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following a chance collision with Robert Peston, TV scientist Professor Brian Cox thinks he's stumbled upon the whereabouts of the disappearing eurobillions, but too late to help the struggling economies of Greece, Ireland, Italy and the Isle of Wight.</p> <p>"It's crazy," explains the pop-star turned physicist. "All that money. The fact is it's simply spiralled into a black hole 2.5 kilometres south of Brussels. If you can imagine a toroid, looking down, from underneath, but not from here, from somewhere else, and then spin it round and round, and stretch that with a wrecking bar that's about as long as the milky way is wide, then you've got a very good imagination - I'd say an excellent imagination - but that's not going to help very much because as I said the money's all gone into a black hole."</p> <p>If the pop-star turned physicist is right, there's not a lot of hope of recovering the cash. Cox again: "Without a doubt, somewhere else in this universe, or in another one, in the future or in the past there'll be a corresponding white hole, spewing money, we don't know where. Somewhere there could be a world with creatures like dinosaurs or eels, and all this money coming at them, they won't know what to do with it. They might try and eat it. It's something we don't know."</p> <p>Peston was mercifully unavailable for comment. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30876#post-87333 Sun, 25 Sep 2011 21:33:44 +0000 Perks 87333@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is what happens when the rules of science are broken <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-15052756" rel="nofollow">http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-15052756</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30876#post-87153 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 09:00:02 +0000 writinginbsl 87153@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>funny<br /> stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30876#post-87119 Sat, 24 Sep 2011 03:27:33 +0000 TokyoTomato 87119@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Love this one, especially the 'model trains under Switzerland'.<br /> Big 5. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30876#post-87049 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 14:54:41 +0000 Al OPecia 87049@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Perfik </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30876#post-87040 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 14:24:35 +0000 Qoxiivi 87040@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nope, NiB. Am pleased, but shame it had to lose the second Brian Cox paragraph. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30876#post-87039 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 14:23:50 +0000 borednow 87039@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>aww come on, this is clearly entering the realms of science fiction. you'll be telling me next they're working on a bus capable of doing above 20mph with passengers on </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=30876#post-87012 Fri, 23 Sep 2011 12:05:43 +0000 Des Custard 87012@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>FP. </p>