http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=bees The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 12:52:34 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177530 Sat, 11 May 2013 04:22:25 +0000 Username 177530@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>On the button </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177468 Fri, 10 May 2013 14:46:09 +0000 LensCap 177468@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I feel better just giving it a few stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177459 Fri, 10 May 2013 12:21:47 +0000 Midfield Diamond 177459@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great observation and very well-written. Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177438 Fri, 10 May 2013 09:56:23 +0000 Wrenfoe 177438@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent article! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177425 Fri, 10 May 2013 09:10:03 +0000 Sinnick 177425@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Surely you're not suggesting that the Government doesn't give a flying fuck about what we think ?</p> <p>11,222 stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177418 Fri, 10 May 2013 08:37:28 +0000 Lenny Bee 177418@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"An immediate U-turn over bees"</p> <p>5 for that alone..</p> <p>:) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177416 Fri, 10 May 2013 08:25:11 +0000 Tripod 177416@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Funny... and true... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177411 Fri, 10 May 2013 07:40:53 +0000 Skylarking 177411@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, me too Gerontius: it's so much less embarrassing without all those other shouty people along for the ride(and George bloody Galloway at the end giving a speech). To paraphrase ol' Jean-Paul: 'Hell is other protestors" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177390 Fri, 10 May 2013 06:09:40 +0000 Gerontius 177390@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent<br /> Been there, done it.<br /> So much easier than going on one of those tiresome marches.<br /> Gave Cameron and his chums a right bloody nose and no mistake. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177371 Fri, 10 May 2013 00:41:23 +0000 sredni vashta 177371@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff. Perhaps we could get a petition going to get it on the front page. I'd sign it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177293 Thu, 09 May 2013 13:29:51 +0000 hal 177293@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Was it 83%? And was it Cruise or Trident? And are they the same? I had a "86% want proper labelling on their sausages" t-shirt. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=61024#post-177131 Wed, 08 May 2013 20:46:29 +0000 Skylarking 177131@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>48 year old Colin Taylor of Eastleigh is said to feeling ‘considerably more positive’ about his life, after entering his email address into a small box for an online petition last Tuesday.</p> <p>The action, which took approximately five seconds, along with another fifteen ‘to check out what it was all about’, is said to have had a significant restorative effect on Mr Taylor’s self-image as a ‘concerned and empowered global citizen.’</p> <p>‘I could feel my social conscience exploding back into life’ explained an animated Mr Taylor, squeezed into his bright yellow ‘83% say no to Cruise Missiles’ t shirt, last worn in 1985. ‘The petition was something about bees, I think: too many of them. Or not enough of them. Anyway, I was incensed and knew I had to find some way to act, as I placed the cursor over the box and clicked ‘autofill.’'</p> <p>‘And next I discovered that I was the 8,733rd person to sign it’ he added, warming to his theme. ‘It was as if I had joined of a whole army of people who were all marching on Downing Street together, telling David Cameron ‘enough is enough with this bee thing.’’</p> <p>Mr Taylor was further heartened by news yesterday that the 11,222 strong e-petition has forced an immediate u-turn by the Downing Street over bees.</p> <p>‘This was something of a wake up call for us in Whitehall I’m afraid’ confessed Sir Nathan Alcock, Senior Press Officer at the Department for the Environment. ‘We’ve had a rather cavalier attitude to this kind of policy-making, commissioning some high level research, or some such trifle. But when eleven thousand people make their feelings known by hurriedly filling out a one-line response device, you know that the nation has risen up as one and is demanding radical change.’</p> <p>Mr Taylor is said to be ‘actively searching his inbox’ for further opportunities to make his voice heard. He also plans a one-man ‘Occupy’ protest in his living room next Bank Holiday Monday, unless it’s really sunny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176242 Thu, 02 May 2013 05:39:27 +0000 Gerontius 176242@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice work MR<br /> And you've hit upon another potential gold-mine with your 'crop spraying placebo' comment - why not explore that idea too. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176220 Wed, 01 May 2013 21:07:41 +0000 writinginbsl 176220@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>ooh lovely</p> <p>and stars for sigmund, too </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176209 Wed, 01 May 2013 17:58:50 +0000 sigmund 176209@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Maybe they need some cognitive bee-hive-ioural therapy. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176200 Wed, 01 May 2013 16:04:38 +0000 Midfield Diamond 176200@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nicely developed and much more Newsbiscuit than mine on the same subject which is football fanzine fodder really. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176196 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:43:23 +0000 monkeyrepublic 176196@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I think I'm half a star short, if anyone has one.</p> <p>I thank you all (and, using a technique picked up from University Challenge contestants, I take a sip of 'smug juice' to conceal my self-satisfied smirk). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176195 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:40:23 +0000 beau-jolly 176195@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bees getting a buzz of neonicotinoids is not only unavoidable it is simple genius. Have you got enough stars yet? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176192 Wed, 01 May 2013 15:29:36 +0000 monkeyrepublic 176192@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh, and the 'Bee Strong' - didn't do well at avoiding those bee gags after all. Hive been such a fool! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176181 Wed, 01 May 2013 14:29:35 +0000 monkeyrepublic 176181@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I was trying to avoid punning on bee-related words, but felt that these two were nigh-on unavoidable. But it's just unacceptable to use 'buzz' in both ways. Guess I should drop the helpline. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176180 Wed, 01 May 2013 14:27:46 +0000 monkeyrepublic 176180@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Alright, how's this?:</p> <p>Following a Europe-wide ban on neonicotinoids, bees are to be offered patches to help them cope with withdrawal.</p> <p>The patches are part of the “Bee Strong” campaign targeting worker bees through hard-hitting adverts and hive support groups. A telephone helpline will be advertised with the slogan “Give us a buzz”.</p> <p>An EU spokesman said: “Bees are an unusual demographic for a public health campaign, but we’ll be producing advertising in the ultraviolet spectrum, which we know has proved successful in the past, and combining this with experience producing road safety and smoking cessation campaigns in the human sphere. Adverts will probably feature a dead bee. Possibly several, depending on the outcome of focus groups.”</p> <p>Though applauded by the Confederation of Queen Bees, the prohibition is not expected to be welcomed across the bee world. One worker bee said: "It's the only pleasure I've left in life. Never did me no harm. Show me the way to go home!..."</p> <p>Other objections have been raised, notably by the farming equipment industry, who have complained that other devices, such as placebo crop-sprayers, were not considered for the EU subsidies. Ecologists have spoken of nightmare scenarios around an emergent black market in neonicotinoids and gangster bees armed with sting-guns and wearing very small fedoras.</p> <p>Neonicotinoids have been widely blamed for falling bee productivity, but were the drug of choice amongst sections of the bee community and said to be notable for an excellent buzz. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176169 Wed, 01 May 2013 13:45:38 +0000 jimmydodger 176169@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5*....let's hope the B Division of the Met Police doesn't send in a SWAT team... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176162 Wed, 01 May 2013 12:14:58 +0000 nickb 176162@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bee plus </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176145 Wed, 01 May 2013 11:07:24 +0000 thisisall1word 176145@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5* for the headline alone - really worth bulking this one out for a NiB or more... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176141 Wed, 01 May 2013 10:25:40 +0000 Lenny Bee 176141@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Support Bees!</p> <p>5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60650#post-176068 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:40:52 +0000 monkeyrepublic 176068@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Having another stab at this. Still not coming together somehow, I feel. Oh well. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60650#post-176067 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:40:17 +0000 monkeyrepublic 176067@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Following a Europe-wide ban on neonicotinoids, addicted bees are to be offered telephone counselling to help them cope with withdrawal.</p> <p>The 'Bee Strong' campaign will target worker bees through hard-hitting flower-based advertising and hive support groups. Controlled-dose neonicotinoid patches will also be available on farms for bees seeking to quit independently.</p> <p>A worker bee said: "It's the only pleasure I've left in life. Never did me no harm. Show me the way to go home!..."</p> <p>Neonicotinoids have been widely blamed for falling bee productivity, but were the drug of choice amongst sections of the bee community and said to be notable for an excellent buzz. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176065 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:28:44 +0000 Midfield Diamond 176065@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, great idea. A few more thoughts:<br /> Concern about bees also putting on weight as a consequence?</p> <p>Don't beekeepers use smoke to calm the bees down when opening the hives? Maybe they will be forced to give them chewing gum instead.</p> <p>How about a punchline linking this to the remote-controlled drones story? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176032 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:56:08 +0000 monkeyrepublic 176032@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks, Gerontius. Slap up some ideas! I'm too distracted by my actual work.</p> <p>I was thinking about ecologists concerned about stigmatising addicted bees, creating a black market. Or a worker bee saying "It's the only pleasure I've left in life"... but I can't focus enough to pull it together. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60612#post-176030 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:41:16 +0000 Gerontius 176030@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely idea MR<br /> Bees on patches.<br /> It would make a great full-length thingy. </p>