http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=bastards The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Tue, 21 May 2013 11:29:20 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=58416#post-169614 Fri, 22 Mar 2013 18:53:48 +0000 anhodika 169614@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Trouble erupted at a newly opened Morrisons this morning after the stall traders of the old market that was demolished to make way for the new store invaded and set up shop in the famed marketing ploy that Morrisons call “Market Street”</p> <p>“We’ll soon have this place looking like the old market!” Said one disgruntled trader as he continued to drop and squish fruit and vegetables on the floor and cover with old cardboard boxes.</p> <p>At the butchers stall a fight broke out between a Morrisons employee who was trying to wrap his prime locally* sourced, steak in cling film and a trader who insisted that he should at least include; “Half a pand of porkers, six gammon steaks and 3 pand of mince, all for a tenner…. No one? Ok a fiver and that’s my last offer… Fackin ‘ell, you cants are robbin’ me blind! Three quid and it’s yours!”</p> <p>The police were eventually called after a number of unknown people in beige raincoats set up with open suit cases and started to try and sell obviously knocked of watches and DVDs.</p> <p>In other news: Morrisons of Norwich was burnt to the ground by farmers protesting about the “Pick Your Own” section of the aforementioned “Market Street” where Morrisons have devised that all loose fruit and vegetables can be chosen by the customer and placed into a conveniently available clear plastic bag and paid for at the till. “Whatever next?” Said Tesco’s head of marketing.</p> <p>*Local to the EU**</p> <p>**all continents containing the letter A </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22532#post-60964 Tue, 15 Mar 2011 16:32:26 +0000 beau-jolly 60964@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Take the piss out of the Germans from the war, but for God's sake don't say anything bad about the Japanese at the moment. NB mentioned it but I think they got away with it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22532#post-60950 Tue, 15 Mar 2011 15:34:42 +0000 Anonymous 60950@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've never liked Brawn. Used to be given it to eat with buttered brown bread. Traditionally eaten with sugar and a little vinegar. EEewwwe. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22532#post-60935 Tue, 15 Mar 2011 14:48:55 +0000 rikkor 60935@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Greg, that was Blondy, my 7-times grandmother. In fact, she unwillingly went to the grave with Adolf and dear Eva. If given the choice, she would have much rather become attached to a nice Russian liberator with dog treats. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22532#post-60927 Tue, 15 Mar 2011 13:49:00 +0000 Anonymous 60927@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ejoyed that greg. The thing is, how could a little chap like that bang on about a perfect tall, blond super race? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22532#post-60924 Tue, 15 Mar 2011 13:31:50 +0000 greg various 60924@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hitler was very kind to his dog, Rikkor I think it was called, as well as having his fun side: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iHfhKgOSJE" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iHfhKgOSJE</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22532#post-60918 Tue, 15 Mar 2011 13:12:17 +0000 Anonymous 60918@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Greg - sorry but they shot Grandpa and Father, though obviously not fatally. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22532#post-60893 Tue, 15 Mar 2011 09:33:01 +0000 greg various 60893@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Don't let's be beastly to the Germans </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22532#post-60891 Tue, 15 Mar 2011 09:01:35 +0000 Anonymous 60891@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just as Germans come to terms with their WW2 conduct, newly commissioned findings indicate that, far from being blameless in the appalling conduct, most Germans were "A Shower of Bastards". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=235#post-717 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 07:49:18 +0000 Hunter F. Thompson 717@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Saved at the 11th hour by their biggest money-laundering client, er... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=235#post-699 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 20:06:19 +0000 Mrblacker 699@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Bosses at the Royal Bank of Scotland are heading to Westminster tonight, to beg for more money.</p> <p>It's after the firm received a final demand for non-payment of rent from the owner of their Edinburgh headquarters.</p> <p>"We've had a really tough time and all the money we'd been given has just been spent of other important things like red braces, champagne, bonuses and paying off our other credit cards." the bank's Chief Executive Stephen Hester said.</p> <p>"We just assumed the rent was being paid and now it turns out we've not been doing that. And while it's only a matter of a couple of million, we don't have that kind of cash just laying around. Not even down the back of the sofa."</p> <p>The delegation is to visit the Citizens Advice Bureau in London on Monday and are taking their final demand with them.</p> <p>"We hope the experts there will be able to help us write a repayment plan for our landlord, but if they can't help, we'll have to talk to our largest shareholder to see if they can help us out." Mr Hester told reporters as he begged for loose change at Edinburgh Haymarket.</p> <p>It's understood the landlord is unwilling to accept anything less than the full arrears and the current largest shareholder, identified tonight as a Mr J. Public of no fixed abode, is thought to be unwilling to lend more money to the greedy bastards.</p> <p>It's also understood the City of London Council is preparing to issue a court summons over RBS's council tax application on their london home, as they allegedly indicated on their form that RBS was a single occupier, eligible for a 25% discount when in fact theyare in multiple occupancy. </p>