http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=backless-dresses The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 13:15:38 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96857 Sat, 19 Nov 2011 17:13:34 +0000 dvo4fun 96857@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sometimes the straightforward approach has much to commend it. Although I probably didn't think it through fully at the time, I did informally resign from the school's cadet force (it was a strange school)by telling the 'officer on parade' to stick the Lee Enfield 303 breech loading rifle (which he had instructed me to raise above my head and carry round the playground/paradeground) up his arse. As a resignation technique it seemed to work quite effectively and freed me up from 2pm on Fridays for the rest of my time there. Not sure that would work quite as well for a member of the real armed forces but I suspect it would suffice in most other fields; suitably adapted for the circumstances. For the sake of clarity I should add at this point that I was a student not a member of staff. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96558 Thu, 17 Nov 2011 21:36:50 +0000 Clucksy 96558@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm going to use this one as the basis for mine...oh the possibilities!!</p> <p><a href="http://shaun-ng.blogspot.com/2007/07/funny-resignation-letter.html" rel="nofollow">http://shaun-ng.blogspot.com/2007/07/funny-resignation-letter.html</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96237 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:21:27 +0000 The All New Jeni B 96237@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Id, at least I had a vcr when I was at school. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96235 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 21:13:21 +0000 thisisall1word 96235@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dear Michael,</p> <p>I have thoroughly enjoyed the last 8 years, and I certainly gained more than ample "lore" into the guinea pig insemination which I can hopefully apply somehow in my new job as a secret agent spy.<br /> Sorry about breaking the forklift back in 2008, I can't help think that the guilt we both suffer over that sad affair may have contributed towards my decision to up sticks and become a real life licence to kill secret agent spy.<br /> It's literally been an emotional and physical roller-coaster these last months as I metaphorically wrestled myself over the decision to remain inseminating guinea pigs with you and the other chap (Alf? Ralph?) or become a proper double oh secret agent spy, but the monies a bit more and the commute will save me over an hour each day. With those saved hours I have worked out that I should save over 10 hours each week. When I have the figures for a month and a year I'll either write or send a text if I find my phone (oh - and if I did leave that in block H then can you send it to my mums?).</p> <p>So long and thank you very much for the lengthy trial period - or as we say in the spy game EYB (which is bye written backwards - like a code)</p> <p>Cheers,</p> <p>Shitsu Tonka </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96165 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:02:00 +0000 writinginbsl 96165@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>stars for fernandos letter</p> <p>very funny </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96141 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 14:01:24 +0000 tedweasel 96141@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I once created a resignation in Photoshop and made it look like a computer generated generic letter.<br /> It started: Dear [<em>insert name</em>], continuing in the same vein throughout, even a 'select one' drop down bar. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96138 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 13:50:51 +0000 fernandomando 96138@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I have never practised resignation letters, and what was posted was a bespoke piece of drafting.</p> <p>Obviously, such a letter will rarely be sent, and the remainder of the advice is very sensible. </p> <p>However, this is the chatroom of newsbiscuit and not 'sensibleadvicebiscuit' or even mumsnet, and so I would love to see more suggestions in the comedic style. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96133 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 13:44:09 +0000 dvo4fun 96133@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>When the Government (body for which I worked) and I agreed that I was surplus to requirements earlier this year I took the opportunity of sending an 'all organisation' email on the day of departure. I was told, joyfully, by our press officer, that it breached all known protocols. I was working on the assumption that, having reached a great age, I might never need to seek further employment or at least not in that organisation. I refrained from making any negative personal comments but did allow myself just one 'chump' [Mandelson] so still being somewhat cautious even at the end.</p> <p>Interestingly I had drafted it the day before D Day but the system must have recognised some key phrases because it had disappeared from my draft directory the next day, an event that 'never happens'. Scary! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96124 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 12:46:59 +0000 simonjmr 96124@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Strange word "resign" we all know it as the formal act of giving up or quitting one's office or position. I know it's the diminuation of "Resignation" but looking at the word it suggests you want to extend your employment or to "re-sign". How loveley the vagaries of the English language.</p> <p>Regarding your resignation letter keep it short and sweet, make sure that its dated and that its from this date that you evoke any notice period that you may have to work. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96120 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 12:00:10 +0000 Scroat 96120@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sinnick picked up on what I was thinking there. I know it's tempting to suggest insertion of job in specific bodily orifices, but you really never know when this may come back to haunt you. If you're pleasant and businesslike, you have the moral high ground. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96104 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 10:04:39 +0000 Sinnick 96104@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I really like fernando's letter, which would appear to be well practised.</p> <p>However, if you're being serious for just a tiny moment, you should keep it short, factual &amp; boring - "As discussed on xx/xx, I resign from BlahBlah Ltd with effect from xx/xx. Please forward my P45 to the above address". Copy the letter before sending.</p> <p>In my experience, as Mr fun says, you never know who knows who in your industry, and it could come back to bite you and you wouldn't even know about it. There are a lot of cnuts out there as well as the nice guys.</p> <p>So, if you're unhappy with them, choose your moment &amp; don't get spotted - you'll be happier for it &amp; they won't know where it comes from. Discretion is the better part of revenge. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96092 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 09:23:04 +0000 dvo4fun 96092@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>shitsu - why leaving then?</p> <p>If geuinely ace place to work a brief note pointing out a few of the things which made it such a joy. If not then fernando's is a lovely idea. Assuming you'll never need to go back or ........................</p> <p>Many years ago I moved from one post to another within the same organisation. Against advice &amp; encouragement from my peers I decided NOT to tell the boss exactly how low in regard he was held by the remaining troops (he was a strong contender for European C*** of the Year three years running in the 1990s).</p> <p>Only a few months later he pitched up to work in a managerial role at my new location. Then a couple of years after that I rocked up, at yet another location, as a 6 month placement for my Uni gubbins to find that he was the office head honcho there. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96050 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:18:32 +0000 Ironduke 96050@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Why not get your own back on them Jeni...and return to work? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96049 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:16:19 +0000 shitsu_tonka 96049@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Scroat. Don't want to be too nice because while it's the best job I've had, a fantastic company and my boss is one of the nicest people on Earth I still resent them because in order to get paid I have to get out of bed on a regular basis and be nice to members of the public, a large proportion of which are either dim or smell or are dim and smell.</p> <p>fermanando - that's genius. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96048 Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:16:01 +0000 fernandomando 96048@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How about this:</p> <p>Dear [etc]</p> <p>It is with much regret that I must now offer my resignation. </p> <p>I have taken the decision to leave the comfort of full time, secure employment and I wish to enter the uncertainty of a fragile and depressed labour market. While some might call this brave, foolhardy, or even culpably reckless; I know that the experience I have gained from this job and my dealings with you all has helped to make this decision an easy one.</p> <p>I take with me a unique set of skills. I can honestly say that I do not think the training and experience that I experienced at [insert]will ever be replicated in any other workplace either here or abroad, or in the future or the present or the past.</p> <p>Most of all, my experience of working at [insert] with you all has left me with real life experience and has sharpened my ambitions considerably. I now desperately wish for that one day in the future when I will finally be able to work alongside informed professionals who work with skill and courtesy; real and genuine people who find time to see beyond tedious routine and adolescent bullying and incompetence. In many ways, you are all the collective measure by which I will judge my future success; the point at which sanity and humanity sits well above.</p> <p>Thank you all</p> <p>Yours etc etc </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96046 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:59:14 +0000 The All New Jeni B 96046@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The place I was working during the summer requested a written notice of resignation after I'd left.<br /> Given that I'm still waiting for the Contract of Employment and subsequent P45 which they'd promised me, and as they'd actually asked me to draft up the Contracts and Terms in the first place, and I'm still awaiting the promised payment for that, they can wait... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96043 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:49:10 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 96043@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Once you've told them you're leaving the letter doesn't really matter much.</p> <p>I once had to give written notice of my intention to go on study leave from Asda, having originally been told that I didn't have to give written notice. I was a little pissed off as it was the end of my last day when they told me, so I wrote 'I'm going on study leave' on the back of a receipt and signed my name.</p> <p>So maybe you should just write 'I'm leaving' on a post-it note. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96041 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:37:11 +0000 dvo4fun 96041@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice touch bonjo. Whilst s/he is sitting at the desk?</p> <p>Did you ever hear the Bob Newhart routine on a retirement party speech? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96037 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:29:58 +0000 Scroat 96037@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dear Shits,</p> <p>Depends if you want to be nice to them or not... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96036 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:29:50 +0000 bonjonelson 96036@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Defecating in your immediate superior's in-tray is a fairly formal way of doing it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=33904#post-96035 Mon, 14 Nov 2011 22:58:55 +0000 shitsu_tonka 96035@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Dear Auntie News Biscuit,</p> <p>I've quit my job. Though I've done it verbally I now have to write a formal letter of resignation which is something I've never done before. </p> <p>I was wondering if you could provide me with some guidelines and helpful phrases.</p> <p>Much love to you, you splendid thing,</p> <p>shitsu </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32144#post-91226 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 22:23:49 +0000 Ironduke 91226@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><a href="http://www.thefreedictionary.com/monger" rel="nofollow">http://www.thefreedictionary.com/monger</a></p> <p>gave me a little worry there VCG! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32144#post-91221 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 21:50:53 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 91221@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Isn't it a bit un-pc to be calling people 'monger'? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32144#post-91201 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 19:39:08 +0000 Ironduke 91201@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hello, good evening and welcome, funnymonger </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32144#post-91195 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 19:16:04 +0000 JETFAB 91195@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers.Its my first post so your comments are most welcome. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32144#post-91185 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:36:05 +0000 Ironduke 91185@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>nice work, pop it up in the writers room and I'll grant you starrage </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32144#post-91184 Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:29:04 +0000 JETFAB 91184@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31426#post-89079 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 11:00:20 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 89079@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Everybody else had already said they liked it on the original sub. Except me, and I like it too. It's kind of silly but also making a valid point about how ridiculous some sexual harassment cases are.</p> <p>Which is the sort of thing satire is supposed to do apparently.</p> <p>Today's FP on the other hand is utter bollocks... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31426#post-88915 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 15:38:32 +0000 Qoxiivi 88915@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apparently. Although, seeing as I wrote it, I don't really count; so it looks like it's just you who likes it.</p> <p>Actually, this is the first time anyone’s ever posted in the Chat Room about liking one of my FPs. And this is the response it’s got.</p> <p>I blame you. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=31426#post-88911 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 15:29:36 +0000 riesler 88911@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Just the two of us liked it then.... </p>