http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=bac-sac-and-crac The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 23 May 2013 10:11:12 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165473 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 22:31:17 +0000 Mr Target 165473@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Although we pretend this is a collaborative comedy site, I think we all know that we're usually right first time, and the majority of other people know nothing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165427 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 20:09:01 +0000 Titus 165427@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How 'bout a 'GROPE' app for fat, lazy Lib-Dem peers? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165419 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 19:40:20 +0000 Squudge 165419@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>love it - headline fine - like Sinnick's 'FOOD' idea. Maybe it could also shout PEDO in crowds where one has been detected </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165380 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:32:01 +0000 sigmund 165380@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apparently one of the top guys at google has described smartphones as 'emasculating.' There's an app for that? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165378 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:21:43 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 165378@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good. And there’s nothing wrong with the headline. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165375 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:11:15 +0000 Actual Size 165375@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks for the feedback - does need a better title and ending that's for sure.</p> <p>The paragraphing is terrible and I feel I've let myself down, I've let my family down, I've let my old English teacher - Mrs Phantom down and more importantly but irrelevantly, I've let my tyres down. </p> <p>Lessons, of course, have been learned and I could chuck all this timewasting in for the Vatican City job but unfortunately I've just passed a CRB check. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165338 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 10:55:14 +0000 AReader 165338@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I give it 5 stars minus 1 for bad paragraphing </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165335 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 10:47:13 +0000 Sinnick 165335@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>SC, yours seems to be a slightly different theme, but when you write your sub why not say something about the phone's intelligence exceeding it's owner's ?</p> <p>The Ed likes to leave a decent gap between stories with similar themes, unless they're hot topics (like the Pope). Plenty of time then. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165328 Thu, 28 Feb 2013 10:28:50 +0000 SteveCut 165328@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>This is excellent. Very clever and funny too.</p> <p>Maybe you could incorporate something about mobile phone technology showing signs that the technological singularity is almost upon us? Then the headline could be something like "Mobile phones: first technology to achieve superintelligence?" But maybe that's a different story?</p> <p>I also think Sinnick's shout FOOD app could be commercially viable. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165255 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 22:51:46 +0000 custard cream 165255@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fantastic, original, funny and current! Max. stars! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165242 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 21:27:31 +0000 Titus 165242@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Well, displays a healthy amount of contempt for the people who spend their time trying to sell the world to us! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165239 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 20:31:46 +0000 Rizla 165239@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nicely done. Displays a healthy amount of contempt for the world! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165198 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 14:32:18 +0000 gregle 165198@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>But this is just taking the piss</p> <p><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21586082" rel="nofollow">http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21586082</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165181 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 12:49:23 +0000 Oxbridge 165181@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>FP quality, but needs some work to fulfil its potential. </p> <p>See also "Schoolboy scientist foresaw technology would be used for inane rubbish" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165168 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 11:11:46 +0000 gregle 165168@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great sub. I agree that closing with a reference to a phone that would even allow people to talk to each other at a distance could be good. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165167 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 11:04:46 +0000 sigmund 165167@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, very good.<br /> <blockquote>could finish off with reference to it also being a phone </blockquote><br /> Possibly even reference the fact that, as a phone, it’s actually quite mediocre? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165164 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 10:17:23 +0000 Sinnick 165164@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Really like this. Get it right &amp; it's the sort of thing that could go viral.</p> <p>I agree, the title needs a boost. Maybe a reference to 5G technology ?</p> <p>The examples are fantastic. The imagination runs riot with all sorts of household &amp; personal healthcare examples. One that comes to me is an App: shout "FOOD" at it and a Pizza is delivered.</p> <p>Arguably trails off a little at the end; could finish off with reference to it also being a phone ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165108 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 01:40:53 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 165108@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165103 Wed, 27 Feb 2013 00:21:07 +0000 FlashArry 165103@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>five stars and a bump for the sub AS - good stuff </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165063 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 18:50:22 +0000 Titus 165063@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The headline is accurate and funny, but might be better if anyone can think up something slightly snappier - I'm afraid I can't.</p> <p>But this story deserves to go further. Give it more stars, folk! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165056 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 17:38:32 +0000 dvo4fun 165056@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very nice AS </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165049 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 16:54:19 +0000 Bob 165049@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Agreed - some of the terminology is great - i-open, friction deficit, pavement interfacing... Nice one. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165047 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 16:32:51 +0000 Titus 165047@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>First class.</p> <p>"The app ... bristles with multimodal capability and radical user function." </p> <p>Briliantly captures the linguistic style of pretentious marketing bullshit, including anything which involves the use of the phrase "lifestyle". </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56979#post-165041 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 15:24:16 +0000 Actual Size 165041@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>One of the biggest launches at this year’s Mobile World Congress in Barcelona is the I-open; an app which allows you to open your front door by just twisting your phone as if it was a door handle. ‘This is breakthrough technology’, said marketing manager Chris Davies, ‘the phone’s action even works with a gloved hand which is a big advantage when compared to the friction deficit presented by traditional door handles if used with gloves, mittens and greasy hands from chip-eating. This feature alone should make it a must buy for anyone who opens doors, whether professionally or as just part of their life skills set.’<br /> Also set to be a big seller this year is the must have ‘comb app’ which uses directed static electricity to move hair into desired position by simply moving your phone back and forth across the head. Other apps on show include the ‘stinger app’ which automatically counts wasp density in pub gardens allowing users to select indoor or outdoor dining, the gap app which measures and directs you through doors accurately to minimise collision and the Wideload-app which warns you with a humorous ‘fat alert’ if an obese person is nearby to prevent ‘pavement interfacing’ or accidental inhalation of sweat molecules.<br /> The app which is causing the biggest sensation at this year’s show bristles with multimodal capability and radical user function. Put simply, the app when asked to perform any simple task, calculates whether this could be done more quickly and easily by the phone owner and switches itself off if this is the case, thereby saving valuable battery power and ultimately the planet’s diminishing resources. Chris Davies however was dismissive and thinks this is a niche seller likely only to appeal to what he calls ‘econuts and retrofreaks’.<br /> ‘What’s the point of technology if it can’t do something useful?’ he asked via his mobile laser display board. </p>