http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=baby The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sun, 19 May 2013 23:53:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=52733#post-151832 Tue, 04 Dec 2012 10:26:48 +0000 HenryMJUK 151832@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>New Royal Baby to be named ‘Your Highness’ – a Palace Spokesperson explained – “The choice of name for the new Royal Baby is vitally important, both Wills and Kate recognize how things have changed since the Victorian era. Traditional names are very difficult to justify, now we are in the 21st century. Furthermore, it is well known, neither Wills nor Kate are enthusiastic about the adoption of place names (representing the conceiving location), although Princess Môn does have a certain je ne sai quoi! – Secretly, the likelihood of Môn being corrupted and the colloquial use of ’Man’ being adopted (with greetings such as ‘Hey Man’ or ‘Yo Man’ becoming commonplace), scares the living daylights out of the Queen. </p> <p>So, in a complete break with tradition, yet as an acknowledgement of tradition, and in adopting the modern parlance of using ones first name only (as if that individual was born completely out of parent hood), the Royal couple have settled on the name of “Your Highness” for the new Royal Baby". </p> <p>Tracey, the peoples spokesperson from Thorpe Bay, read a prepared statement ….. “it’s awesome man, such a kool name, ones immediately on first name terms with the new royal, yet it is RESPECT, wikk’eeed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=11022#post-30164 Tue, 24 Aug 2010 14:44:14 +0000 Ludicity 30164@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg says that he is 'absolutely delighted' to be the wet nurse for David and Samantha Cameron’s new child. </p> <p>‘I have spent the last few months undergoing hormone replacement therapy in preparation for this very moment,’ said Mr Clegg, who has already developed what he describes as ‘a fulsome pair of lactating man boobs.’</p> <p>The 'wet-nursing clause' is understood to have been a deal breaker in the coalition agreement with Mr Cameron refusing a referendum on voting reform until Mr Clegg promised to offer up his breast in return. </p> <p>‘It’s so jolly nice of Cleggie to be helping out like this,’ said Mr Cameron, ‘Samantha and I lead such busy lives so it is good to know that Nick is there at home, dressed as a nurse and suckling our young.’ </p> <p>However, there have been some objections to the prospect of Mr Clegg breastfeeding during meetings of Cabinet. ‘I am not sure that any of us want to see Nick’s Knockers thrust in our face,’ said Communities Secretary Eric Pickles, ‘that sort of thing could put me right off my dinner.’</p> <p>Other members of the Lib Dem team will help to provide round-the-clock baby care with Business Secretary Vince Cable to read bedtime stories and Energy Secretary Chris Huhne changing nappies. Meanwhile, Chief Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander will dress up as a jester and merrily prance about the room in an attempt to keep the baby amused – reprising a role that he currently performs for George Osborne.</p> <p>‘What Nick and his team are doing is the very essence of what I mean by The Big Society,’ said Mr Cameron, ‘they run around doing all the work while Samantha and I sit in the garden drinking Pimm’s.’</p> <p>Mr Clegg is expected to breast feed for the next six months, although he may continue for longer after a number of Tory backbenchers expressed a keen interest in his services. </p>