http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=arsene-wenger The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 03:20:06 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56663#post-164008 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 18:42:49 +0000 Jonny Shlep 164008@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice to see a Gooner can laugh at his own on-field woes Pinx :)</p> <p>5 of the little twinkly fuckers for a good yarn and the ubiquitous top of the range smudge.</p> <p>Well played sir </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56663#post-163973 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 16:59:41 +0000 Squudge 163973@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>leave "He then smashed through the empty Gunners trophy cabinet..." in - I like that bit </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56663#post-163948 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 13:29:47 +0000 pinxit 163948@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks 'Bunny'. Needs a hard edit methinks. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56663#post-163914 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 11:49:52 +0000 Anonymous 163914@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Congratulations Pinxit.</p> <p>This one wins a 'Bunny'..</p> <p>(5* approval) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56663#post-163896 Wed, 20 Feb 2013 10:10:00 +0000 pinxit 163896@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Three sports reporters were 'stable' in an Intensive Care unit last night after bizarre scenes, when Arsenal's under-pressure manager turned a vivid green, burst out of his clothes and launched a violent attack on them at a post-match press conference.</p> <p>The incident was even more astonishing as Wenger, nicknamed 'The Professor' for his academic approach to the game, is known for his calm rational responses to questions.</p> <p>This time however, his dry gallic wit had deserted him.</p> <p><strong>Incredible Sulk...</strong></p> <p>The press conference began in a low key mood after the Gunner's humiliating home defeat to Bayern Munich in last night's last 16 Champions League tie. A subdued Wenger deflected questions about the match by simply saying, "I didn't see it".</p> <p>Following speculation about his contract after a dismal run of form, several journalists from the tabloid press pack then fired in questions about the besieged manager's future with the club.</p> <p>Visibly rattled, Wenger retorted, "Do not push me. You will not like me when I am angry."</p> <p><img src="http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz223/pinxit2/Satire/awhulk_zps238b635c.jpg"></p> <p><strong>Rippling muscle, ripping yarn...</strong></p> <p>Undeterred, the pack seemed to move in for the kill, one reporter asking him if he should step down now.</p> <p>Eyes rolling into the back of his head and with a distinctly green pallor, Wenger stood up, sending the microphone table crashing to the floor and snarled, "One more word and, as the great French empirical philosopher Joey Barton said, you'll be shitting your teeth out for a week, you c**t!"</p> <p>With this, his normally immaculate suit collar and tie pinged and tore off his burgeoning body, leaving the Arsenal boss in just a pair of now extremely snug-fitting trousers.</p> <p>Looking like an exotically hued Arnold Schwartzenegger, Mr Wenger then leapt over the table, simultaneously lifted three reporters off the floor and with the scream of a Banshee, flung them against the wall as if they were rag dolls.</p> <p>He then smashed through the empty Gunners trophy cabinet and with one giant leap bound out of the fourth floor Emirates stadium window.</p> <p>This morning, club chairman Peter Hill-Wood issued a statement that Wenger has the full support of the board, adding that his manager was suffering from 'a bit of a headache - and a large wardrobe malfunction'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46915#post-134786 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 09:04:04 +0000 Mr Target 134786@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I liked this one a bit better. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=46915#post-134775 Thu, 16 Aug 2012 08:02:18 +0000 Reg Herring 134775@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In an unprecendented show of loyalty to his team Manchester City, Premier League winning football boss Roberto Mancini has started a trend by announcing on the club’s website he is changing his name by deed poll to Roberto Mancity.</p> <p>Others were quick to follow suit: Arsene Wenger will become Arsenal Wenger; Rio Ferdinand has twittered he is now to be addressed as Rio de Janeiro and of course Fernando Torres will be Fernando Shit. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=21172#post-57190 Fri, 11 Feb 2011 22:00:12 +0000 Mrblacker 57190@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The next generation of Premier League managers could be trained in a county that doesn't even have a team playing in that division.</p> <p>It's because the Royal National College for the Blind in Hereford has announced plans to move into sports management training from September.</p> <p>"It's obvious to any student of top-flight football, that the ability to see isn't vital. Therefore with the sports facilities we have here in Hereford, it makes sense to usde them to their fullest capacity." the College's Darren Morgan said.</p> <p>The curriculum for the new course includes modules in swearing, chewing gum, signing expensive but useless players, but the College is pinning the potential success of the course on a module believed to be unique in the footballing world.</p> <p>"We're sticking to our heritage with a course in not seeing obvious penalties and then maintaining your stance of temporary blindness during endless rounds of press interview. We've already agreed that the Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger will be a guest lecturer, while the Uruguayan referee Jorge Larrionda is signed up to deliver similar blind-based lectures to potential future match officials."</p> <p>But the RNCB is not the only educational institution trying to exploit wanna-be professional sportmen and women; from October, The Waltham Forest Academy of Sporting Excellence will offer cricketers courses in match-fixing, including how to choose the best bottle top to achieve reverse swing, and how to deny everything when caugfht red-handed. </p>