http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=anal The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 25 May 2013 04:48:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54599#post-157625 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 22:23:22 +0000 Dick Everyman 157625@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>That's the best hole for it, I've always found ;0) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54599#post-157624 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 22:16:31 +0000 Dawsons creek 157624@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thank you dick I forgot the word for posh pate and I've packed it in the paté hole. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54599#post-157621 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 22:10:41 +0000 Dick Everyman 157621@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Paté? Surely foie gras...</p> <p>Nice though DC with just a delicate hint of greasy bum sex at the end. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54599#post-157614 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 21:22:39 +0000 stalinetta 157614@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I need to get some nasty mental picture out of my head now. Also like the laconic ' is considered a heart throb' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54599#post-157609 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 20:51:30 +0000 Dawsons creek 157609@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'm wondering now if he should be more someone who knows how to butter up an arsehole what with the flattery stuff with Vladimir Putin? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54599#post-157608 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 20:46:20 +0000 Tripod 157608@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Disturbingly funny... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54599#post-157607 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 20:41:07 +0000 Dawsons creek 157607@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Britain's largest transport aircraft has been offered to the French, so that Gérard Depardieu can be airlifted to the Mali frontline. In a daring operation that exceeded the airframe's carrying capacity by some 26%, Depardieu was delivered intact but hungry and dangerously low on wine.</p> <p>"As soon as I heard about Mali, I phoned my agent to see if such a trip was tax-deductable", said the actor. "Then I had lunch, some patisseries and a small bucket of brandy. After that it was time for a money wash, a whole roast goose and a litre or so of pernod. Then I was struck in the back by a grappling hook, and winched aboard the plane."</p> <p>The flight logistics were difficult and involved several in-air refuelling exercises. "The RAF does not yet have the capability to store more than a tonne and a half of carefully refrigerated foie gras on a plane", explained Depardieu. The sweat-drenched hulk is considered a 'heart throb' in his ex-native France, and as such is required by his insurers to always travel with at least four defibrilators and a couple of cardiac surgeons.</p> <p>Depardieu spent an entertaining evening showing troops how to run away to Russia, and how to urinate and projectile vomit simultaneously while eyeing up young girls. A delighted general forgave Depardieu for destroying two latrines and a mess tent, describing the star as a 'delicate and considerate lover' who certainly knew his way around an anus.</p> <p>Hat tip to Dick Everyman </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156454 Sat, 05 Jan 2013 15:11:39 +0000 Idiot 156454@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Agreed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156453 Sat, 05 Jan 2013 15:10:44 +0000 beau-jolly 156453@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I really hate to say this but it probably worked better with the unexpected bum sex. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54067#post-156447 Sat, 05 Jan 2013 14:02:22 +0000 dvo4fun 156447@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I liked the idea of V2s being "in service" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156442 Sat, 05 Jan 2013 13:46:45 +0000 Idiot 156442@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yep, well done, though it's a shame it had to be boringed-up to make the front page. I quite like the random madness of your subs. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156440 Sat, 05 Jan 2013 13:37:10 +0000 dvo4fun 156440@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Scrubbed up into a nice little NiB, Dawsons </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54067#post-156390 Sat, 05 Jan 2013 01:32:51 +0000 Quaz 156390@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Early V2s were prone to "airbursts", which is techy term for blowing up before they were meant to. They were then fitted with "Tin Trousers". Look it up, I'm not kidding. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156370 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 22:10:21 +0000 Tess Goes 156370@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hilarious reading through...<br /> Just the sort I like before bum sex on the twelfth day of Christmas. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156352 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 20:47:49 +0000 beau-jolly 156352@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You could mention a car wash. Only so you could finish with a soapy hand job. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156309 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 17:19:03 +0000 pinxit 156309@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like the idea. Think you've become waylaid. But not by wayland...</p> <p>How about a lay-by? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54067#post-156275 Fri, 04 Jan 2013 14:22:47 +0000 Midnight Dreary 156275@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There's a great story in here - I love the idea of some nation re-arming under the guise of 'restoring' a whole load of rockets. Maybe Argentina, to be topical? Or have the population of Dresden responding to the restoration of WWII bombers by hastily 'restoring' an anti-aircraft battalion?</p> <p>Or maybe have the coalition getting in on the WWII restoration craze by restoring food shortages, rickets and poverty? </p> <p>Mind you, 'and no hydrogen' has made my day. </p> <p>Not to mention greasy bum sex. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54067#post-156204 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 23:15:44 +0000 Yikes 156204@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Gets better by the minute!! All class!</p> <p>Could the last line be even more direct with 'fanal solution' ?? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54067#post-156194 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:52:07 +0000 Idiot 156194@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'...and no hydrogen' </p> <p>Class. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54067#post-156193 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:47:45 +0000 ronseal 156193@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I like the idea.</p> <p>It's funny because there was a bloke on telly last who'd rebuilt a Lancaster Bomber...</p> <p>Oh, you saw it too.</p> <p>Could 'greasy bum sex' be saved for another story?</p> <p>It's good though. It will probably turn out to be a true story. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156192 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:47:07 +0000 Idiot 156192@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent stuff. I don't know what's funnier - the sub itself or some of the (presumably serious) comments. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54067#post-156191 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:42:56 +0000 Dawsons creek 156191@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>THanksfor this, I've upped it's ante and gone for a relaunch (rocket joke):</p> <p>Two brothers from Berlin with an interest in WW2 technology have successfully restored a V2 rocket. The projectile, powered by ethanol/water and a liquid oxygen oxidiser and no hydrogen, is fitted with a primitive guidance system and 200 (check this on Google) kilos of high(?) explosive. It could be the first one of its type to fly for nearly 70 years (please check: I don't think there are others in service).</p> <p>"We have worked on this project for several years now", said Klaus Horsch, "my brother Adolf and I really want to see one in the sky again." With the first and only flight scheduled to take place early next Thursday, it will be aimed roughly towards London where Klaus hopes it 'might hit a Jew'.</p> <p>Meanwhile two British brothers are planning to thwart their plans with a night raid, in a Lancaster they themselves have restored. "We hope to launch our attack under the cover of darkness", explained retired airman Johnny Hopstead. "We'll sneak into their own back yard maintaining radio silence, and disarm them with a session of greasy bum sex: I've heard they're working on the anal solution." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54067#post-156189 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:37:26 +0000 Idiot 156189@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The totally unexpected 'greasy bum sex' bit at the end is one of the funniest things I've read on here in a long while, though I'm not sure it works within the context of the site. Who cares though - keep it up. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54067#post-156188 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:34:06 +0000 Quaz 156188@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry to be picky, but the V2 used Ethanol/water for fuel and Liquid oxygen for oxidiser. Just Saying, not Hydrogen. Now, the first stage of a Saturn 5, designed by many of the same people, used Kerosene and Oxygen, but I think that that the 2nd stage used liquid Hydrogen and Oxygen....I could go on all night. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156185 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 21:51:34 +0000 Yikes 156185@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very funny! 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54067#post-156173 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 20:05:40 +0000 Dawsons creek 156173@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Beau, I was trying some Fruedien humor, based on rockets and bombers making subliminal anal solutions obvious in the minds eye but not on the page but then its there and the subconciously its very amusing. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156170 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 19:42:01 +0000 Dick Everyman 156170@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I dunno Dawson. Bit late now to think clearly. How about ending on a quote from the Duchess of York? "I was delighted to be invited to Mr Mole's opening.....</p> <p>Er...hang on, we're back to bum sex. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156168 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 19:31:24 +0000 Dawsons creek 156168@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hello Dick! How about if it is changed around a bitot:</p> <p>Some of Mole's neighbours are reluctant to use the service, despite it being only about 15 feet longer than the original route. "Mr Melrose next door said he 'didn't have to pay for it'", said Mole, "but that's not what he said to that prostitute he's always knobbing in the back of his Fiesta."</p> <p>Still racey but it has a car init now. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156164 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 19:20:30 +0000 Dick Everyman 156164@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hi Dawson as I said in your previous post if in doubt use a knob joke to end on. There's too much bum sex going on lately...are your Dawson's Creek or Crack? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=54095#post-156151 Thu, 03 Jan 2013 17:39:01 +0000 Dawsons creek 156151@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hi Tripod! Is that a anusless pushyou-pullit? </p> <p>I did change it up in the last of the paragrarph but thought it impotant to make it clear to people who were expecting a bottom joke but then it wasn't there so I didn't want to disappointment. </p>