http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=alan-johnson The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 20:44:24 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19670#post-53001 Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:30:39 +0000 Oxbridge 53001@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'Yvette Cooper will unnerve William Hague through the use of provocative modern dance'</p> <p>Yes, I can just see that. 5*, obviously. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19670#post-52990 Fri, 07 Jan 2011 13:27:56 +0000 Doylem 52990@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>"A political tool", indeed... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=19670#post-52989 Fri, 07 Jan 2011 13:25:32 +0000 Ludicity 52989@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Labour leader Ed Miliband has revealed that he will take a vow of silence and convey his political message entirely through the performance art of mime, using his body as a political tool. </p> <p>‘All the polls show that we do much better when Ed stays quiet,’ explained deputy leader Harriet Harman, ‘he will therefore focus on communicating his ideas through corporeal movement and a variety of facial expressions.’</p> <p>The new strategy will see Mr Miliband appearing at Prime Minister’s Questions with a white painted face and wearing a tight black Lycra bodysuit. He will then proceed to ridicule government policy by silently prancing around the dispatch box and pulling a range of silly faces. </p> <p>‘This represents a new form of political communication,’ said Harman, ‘but I am confident that Ed can get his message across to David Cameron through the use of hand gestures alone – a method I understand the general public have already been using for some time.’</p> <p>Mr Miliband has already mastered a number of classic mimes including ‘walking against the wind’, ‘the brick wall’ and ‘up shit creek without a paddle.’ However, he still struggles with more complex mimes such as explaining his position on tuition fees, something that regularly leaves him rolling helplessly around on the floor tied up in knots. </p> <p>Members of Mr Miliband’s team will also employ performance art to convey their message. Shadow Chancellor Alan Johnson will use origami to communicate his understanding of economic theory by taking a blank sheet of paper and then screwing it up. Meanwhile, Shadow Foreign Secretary Yvette Cooper will unnerve William Hague through the use of provocative modern dance. </p> <p>Speculation has been rife as to why Miliband had been so quiet in the last few months. ‘Everyone thought it was because he was nervous,’ said political commentator Matthew Parris, ‘but it turns out Ed was simply miming his opposition to government.’</p> <p>Mr Miliband has also been developing a range of special ‘looks’ that he will use to mercilessly undermine the Coalition. ‘He has already perfected the ‘rabbit staring into the headlights,’ said Ms Harman, ‘and he is making good progress with ‘man shaking his head in disappointment at whatever the government just did’. He is now believed to be working on ‘man with bright idea’ and ‘man pulling finger out of arse.’ </p> <p>Mr Miliband launched his new strategy at the London International Mime Festival where he attempted to communicate his grand political vision. 'He just stood there for while flapping his arms around and staring off into space,' said one disappointed visitor, ‘it's certainly nothing to shout about.' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1566#post-4331 Fri, 26 Mar 2010 19:03:51 +0000 Ludicity 4331@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks people. Your community support is much appreciated. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1566#post-4319 Fri, 26 Mar 2010 18:34:52 +0000 Ostsee 4319@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Z Cars, don't forget Z Cars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1566#post-4313 Fri, 26 Mar 2010 18:17:28 +0000 dominic_mcg 4313@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent :0) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1566#post-4304 Fri, 26 Mar 2010 17:50:08 +0000 Scroat 4304@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Not Peter R Fincham? Have some stars!! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1566#post-4301 Fri, 26 Mar 2010 17:40:59 +0000 John Square 4301@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ooooh! That's excellent! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=1566#post-4300 Fri, 26 Mar 2010 17:38:20 +0000 Ludicity 4300@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>“CSO: Sun Hill will look very similar to The Bill,” said ITV executive, Peter Fincham, “although it will lack dramatic power and the public can simply choose to ignore it.” </p> <p>The show will centre on a team of Community Support Officers as they go about their day doing the important work of smiling and nodding at people in the street. In the first episode of the cutting edge drama, Mrs Peabody’s cat, Jeffers, goes missing until one of the officers finally discovers it sleeping safely in the potting shed. </p> <p>“CSO: Sun Hill will provide essential back-up and support to the hard work done by real police dramas such as Waking the Dead and A Touch of Frost," said Home Secretary Alan Johnson, "of course it will never replace them but a uniformed presence on ITV will provide the British public with a sense of security and reassurance.” </p> <p>Shadow Justice Secretary, Dominic Grieve remained unconvinced: “People won’t feel safe until we have real Bobbies back on our screens. I can promise that under a Conservative government we will be bringing back Dixon of Dock Green and Juliet Bravo.” </p> <p>Mark Wingett, who played The Bill’s PC Jim Carver, said: "It's a great shame to be losing the show after 27 years. I only hope that CSO: Sun Hill can continue to provide the same crucial frontline work done by The Bill – namely, giving jobs to out of work actors.” </p> <p>There is increasing concern that with so many actors from The Bill facing redundancy, many of them will become so desperate they could turn to Crimewatch. However, the Department for Work and Pensions has confirmed that every actor on The Bill will be given full retraining to get them jobs on Casualty, Holby City and Doctors. </p> <p>CSO: Sun Hill begins next Monday, although for a probationary period all the early episodes will go out accompanied by experienced officer, DCI Burnside. </p>