Forum » Tag: Africa - Recent Posts

Forum » Tag: Africa - Recent Posts http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/tags.php?tag=africa The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 21:24:20 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php Anonymous on "Togo Thrown Out Of Cup Of Nations For Not Being A Real Country" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160600 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 17:32:20 +0000 Anonymous 160600@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I say Jonnykins. Yer wasting yer time on that whelk addicted crustacean Pinkypoo. He's strictly a pie & mash man... Meanwhile I'm adding more stars to your collection.. Invoice in post Bunny... Jonny Shlep on "Togo Thrown Out Of Cup Of Nations For Not Being A Real Country" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160574 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 13:54:06 +0000 Jonny Shlep 160574@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Hehehe sorry bout dat Pinx. We East London urchins are not renowned for our word conundrum skills I'm afraid old chap. Anyway I hate bloody whelks! Now for God's sake stop basking and GET OUT! ;) Thanks for the stars MD. I remember the bus related gun play well but for some reason I thought it was the Ivory Coast boys that were hosed down in the comfort of their own charabanc. Perhaps I AM an American after all! *chows down on a plate of hominy grits and tosses back a fifth of rye* Just spotted your edit mate. As Jimmy Greaves once famously remarked to Ian St John in a moment of rare sobriety "It's a funny old game Saint, and it's a funny old game" :) Midfield Diamond on "Togo Thrown Out Of Cup Of Nations For Not Being A Real Country" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160558 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 12:31:14 +0000 Midfield Diamond 160558@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Shame on you JS, Togo are famous! I admit I hadn't heard of Togo until they got to the World Cup Finals in 2006, but I also remember something about their team bus being attacked a few years ago - Emmanuel Adebayor was captain at the time. Good idea though, and some great lines, so have some stars. EDIT - just looked up Togo on Wikipedia (I know, I know) and there's a story about a team pretending to be the Togo national side playing a game against Bahrain. So your story is not so far fetched ... pinxit on "Togo Thrown Out Of Cup Of Nations For Not Being A Real Country" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160550 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 11:36:12 +0000 pinxit 160550@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Shleppins, you mormon! If you'd read my suggestion... it was a justification of the choice of name - Stan's Whelk Emporium - with the strapline on their shirts being 'WHELKS TO GO' * FUME * * SEETHE * * GROAN * * thud * Jonny Shlep on "Togo Thrown Out Of Cup Of Nations For Not Being A Real Country" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160527 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 09:22:27 +0000 Jonny Shlep 160527@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ NOW you hit me with the ingenious headline Nick! Why I outta! nickb on "Togo Thrown Out Of Cup Of Nations For Not Being A Real Country" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160524 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 08:41:42 +0000 nickb 160524@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Togo told to go Jonny Shlep on "Togo Thrown Out Of Cup Of Nations For Not Being A Real Country" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160516 Thu, 31 Jan 2013 05:38:03 +0000 Jonny Shlep 160516@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Thank you my friend, much appreciated. Both of the scenarios you mention would certainly have added to the gaiety of nations, if you'll forgive the rather desperate pun. In point of fact, my old friend Pinxit, who on occasion display his photoshopping genius in here, offered to do a mock up of a balding, rather elderly and portly soccer player with "Bill's Pie And Mash Shop" emblazoned on his shirt, but I turned him down on the grounds that I'm thoroughly sick of the man constantly basking in my reflected glory. ;) In a rather uncalled for and spooky twist, Togo have actually now progressed to the knockout stages and will next meet Burkina Faso! Oh the bitter, bitter irony! :) PS. To my eternal shame, I genuinely had never heard of Togo, and I'm not even American fer chrissakes! :( Vertically Challenged Giant on "Togo Thrown Out Of Cup Of Nations For Not Being A Real Country" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160492 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 22:53:19 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 160492@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I like this, thought it was a great idea. Alternative ending could be them being replaced with another team that are clearly made up. Or real but not in Africa. Like Russia. Or Wales. Jonny Shlep on "Togo Thrown Out Of Cup Of Nations For Not Being A Real Country" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=55500#post-160428 Wed, 30 Jan 2013 14:24:59 +0000 Jonny Shlep 160428@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Officials at the African Cup Of Nations soccer tournament in South Africa were left red faced last night after it emerged that Togo, whose victory over Algeria on Sunday dumped one of the favourites out of the tournament, wasn't actually a real place in Africa at all, but a fake name adopted by Cripplegate Casuals, an East London Sunday league outfit currently languishing at the foot of the local Hoxton League Div III. Since entering they've enjoyed mixed fortunes with a narrow 2-1 defeat by highly fancied Ivory Coast followed by a magnificent 2-0 victory over a powerful Algerian side which should have led to a clash against Tunisia with a victory seeing them progress into the knockout stages. Tony Milner 29, the team captain told reporters. "We only entered for a bit of a laugh really. We certainly didnt expect to progress this far. To knock out the likes of Algeria has been a real bonus. The lads are absolutely over the moon to be fair. Admittedly one or two of our players got some funny looks at times, especially Ginger Atkinson our striker, the two Chinese lads and Bogdan our Romanian goalie, but in all fairness I think our attacking style of play has hopefully won us a few friends amongst the neutrals. The African Football Federation issued a statement last night. "Obviously we're a bit embarrassed and steps will now be taken to ensure nothing like this can happen again, but with Africa being such a big place and with so many small countries in it you can understand how a mix up like this could happen. I mean it stands to reason" It's believed that a senior member of the AFF is currently studying his atlas to see if he can find Burkina Faso. DustyBinLaden on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143507 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 07:42:30 +0000 DustyBinLaden 143507@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Ahem... Of course I could just look on the NB home page and see that it's been used. Slightly embarrassed. Nothing to see here. Move along. DustyBinLaden on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143499 Sat, 13 Oct 2012 06:59:10 +0000 DustyBinLaden 143499@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Don't mind being bumped to the frozen wasteland of page 3 by the talent of fellow NBers, but not by the gibberish of our guest incoherent spammers. Absolutely sea of them this morning. We're quite capable of incoherent gibberish on our own, thanks. pinxit on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143224 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 22:04:27 +0000 pinxit 143224@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ That's what we need. More white male middle-age middle class angst. We never see it on here... But have you ever seen <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgDfd7GUQHs">Bunuel's little gem</a>? Stars, toilet-duck and Hugh F-W... Sir Lupus on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143222 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 22:00:39 +0000 Sir Lupus 143222@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ do you think the original "arse-faced jobby sniffer" Gillian McKeith might be quoted as welcoming this initiative, or offering to do the photography? waylandsmithy on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143219 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 21:37:41 +0000 waylandsmithy 143219@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I'll try and stick something together and PM you, and then you can go to the champagne launch in Florence while I update the Gant charts back in the office. waylandsmithy on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143218 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 21:35:46 +0000 waylandsmithy 143218@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Bloody creative writers, always sitting on the fence and getting us technical authors to fill in the details. Dick Everyman on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143214 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 21:23:54 +0000 Dick Everyman 143214@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ We are all chained to the toilet whatever our class.... DustyBinLaden on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143210 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 21:20:32 +0000 DustyBinLaden 143210@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Insecure writer confidence alert. Definitely up for it, but you're way ahead of me on your class distinctions. How about you do a list and we divvy up the narrative. And then we just use yours. waylandsmithy on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143207 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 21:02:10 +0000 waylandsmithy 143207@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ We could go for a joint 'left alert' if you like. 'Britain's new unclassy system: a guide' There should be a horizontally mobile middle class for footballers, too. And a new lower working class, who don't work. No upper class, though. They don't live here any more, for tax reasons. DustyBinLaden on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143204 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:49:11 +0000 DustyBinLaden 143204@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Wayland, I'm pinning that definition on my wall. Please turn it into a sub in some way. DustyBinLaden on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143203 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:45:05 +0000 DustyBinLaden 143203@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Thanks folks. Bit of a tweak having returned from the pub. More swearing and now with added Spangles. I am also a bit middle class, but I hate me with a vengeance. rikkor on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143196 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 20:00:49 +0000 rikkor 143196@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Nah. Here it's all about money. If you call yourself upper class here without money, you are only fooling yourself. Doesn't matter if your forebears were at Plymouth Rock in 1620. It's nice. When I lived in California, my housekeeper had a house in a nice town and her car cost about $50,000. Just because you clean people's houses, doesn't mean you can't send your kids to college. On a related subject, there was an article in today's NY "Times" about (thank God, a minority of) people who are dropping Britishisms into their speech. Like calling your friends mates, and ringing people up, and on and on. Perfectly fine if you are from the UK, pukingly bad if you are an American. I'd post the article, but the "Times" don't allow that. waylandsmithy on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143195 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 19:52:12 +0000 waylandsmithy 143195@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Rikkor, I think you're muddling up middle class and Middle Class. 'middle class' are the squeezed middle, people who do jobs that others admire because they're mind-numbing, worthy or essential to society. These people generally come from cheeky, chirpy working class backgrounds, and were encouraged to strive to better themselves by loving, selfless parents. 'Middle Class', however, are to be despised. These parasites do jobs that pay slightly better than expected, or they've made their money a bit too easily. Typically they've cheated their way to making ends meet, perhaps by being lawyers, estate agents or dermatologists. Often, these bastards have been left money by their parents, made a business deal or deliberately stayed in contact with their friends at private school. Somewhere in the middle are the middle-Middle classes, who drive nice cars, but don't like to show off about it. They're despised by everyone either side of them, because they're at pains to drop their posh accents, but still holiday in St. Lucia. Is it the same system in the USA? rikkor on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143191 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 19:35:29 +0000 rikkor 143191@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ I'm always vy. amused at hurling the designation "middle class" as if it's the worst of insults. If you don't work in a factory or as a laborer, you're not working class. So, what are you? In the US, most of the very rich would identify themselves as middle class. button on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143187 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 19:24:56 +0000 button 143187@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Excellent, 5 stars. And there is an app for this: <a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41465" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=41465</a> Yikes on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143185 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 19:21:02 +0000 Yikes 143185@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Very good! Perks on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143184 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 19:07:12 +0000 Perks 143184@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Yep. Very good Psycadelic Squirrel on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143179 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 18:55:02 +0000 Psycadelic Squirrel 143179@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Great stuff. The 'Harpic jus' definitely floats my log. Stars charlies_hat on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143178 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 18:49:33 +0000 charlies_hat 143178@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Stars for 'Harpic Jus' ! waylandsmithy on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143177 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 18:46:50 +0000 waylandsmithy 143177@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Angry and great! I'm not sharing the story on Facebook though: it would ruin my chances in the local 'Come Dine With Me' tournament. DustyBinLaden on "People who photograph their food must now photograph their faeces" http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=49583#post-143175 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 18:40:06 +0000 DustyBinLaden 143175@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ Middle-class foodies who insist on sharing via social media every carefully concocted plate of smugness they’ve ever cooked and eaten must now add a picture of the ‘evacuation’ that follows. The new law comes into effect at the end of the month, preceded by a candid statement from the Department for International Development. ‘Just cook the fucking food, sit fucking down, eat the fucking food, and be fucking glad you’ve got it,’ said Darren Lovelock, a spokesperson for DFID, wearing a jumper he’d knitted himself. ‘No-one wants to see how proud you are of your mozzarella bon-bons marinated in spaniel spunk, or the fact that you can’t live without your food processor. ‘Let’s be clear, you can live without your food processor, and about 98% of the other things in your self-absorbed, tedious, nauseating life. ‘From November, every Facebook post or tweet featuring a plate of food, either produced in the home or taken in a restaurant, must have a second image of the subsequent visit to the toilet, floating like a forlorn yuletide log in a sea of Harpic jus.’ Those who don’t observe the new legal pairing of ‘from dish to dump’ will face a scale of fines. Accompanying messages along the lines of “From our permaculture windowbox”, “Stewart’s bulbs have done us all proud” or “Purchased at a market in Sienna and lovingly tended on Easyjet EZ531” could see penalties of up to £10,000 and community service peeling garlic by hand without a device from Lakeland. The only exceptions are drought-resistant crops inadvertently produced by over-blanching maize or the accidental re-introduction of Spangles into the food chain. Sarah Okonjo from the Democratic Republic of Congo, said: ‘I walk fourteen miles a day to collect fresh water, and face the threat of rape and murder from rebel militia who patrol the road, but I’ve never thought to FB or tweet my friends about it, mainly because when I get home I am tired and hungry and I have to try and make a small bowl of rice feed my children and parents. And I’ve never had an internet connection. Or a computer. Or a Facebook or Twitter account. Or electricity.’ Spenser ‘Spensey’ Mogridge, an architect from Barnes in London, said: ‘I’m horrified by this humiliating law. Our new bathroom won’t be finished until the summer.’