28108 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:01:20 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=39017#post-110713 Wed, 22 Feb 2012 22:06:26 +0000 FlashArry 110713@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>In an unprecedented move yesterday, the Government of Greece has negated its Constitution, and has declared itself part of Turkey.<br /> "It's funny, but when we checked back over the declaration of independence, there was an opt back in clause to rejoin the Ottoman Empire or its legal successor" said ex-Premier Lucas Papademos "So we thought - what the hell ? and it sort of snowballed from there"<br /> "It's worked out well " he went on "Turkey get the EU membership they craved through the backdoor and we can default on any financial arrangements and let them pick up the pieces. OK, we'll have to re-adjust to being vassals and oppressed again, but the banks were forcing us that way anyhow, and at least it's the devil we know" </p> <p>"As of midnight, the Greek Government has been dissolved, and the articles of power have been presented to a rather confused nightwatchman at the Turkish Embassy in Athens. To say they are pissed is one hell of an understatement. Welcome to the debt-free Satrapy of Achaea, fuck the Euro - Result ! "</p> <p>As yet, no coherent or printable statement has been issued by Ankara, but there are reports of many European and Middle Eastern Embassies closing their gates in the city to prevent any chances of a domino effect gaining momentum.</p> <p>Elsewhere in Europe, representatives of Austria, Hungary and Spain are now endeavouring to find the surviving Hapsburg line to swear fealty to and re-establish the Imperial Throne, then present them with the final demands for their National Debts.</p> <p>It is rumoured that even Germany are examining the extent of French First Empire possessions in an attempt to have themselves declared as "Greater France" and further enrage President Sarkozy</p> <p>Closer to home, all leave has been cancelled at the Foreign Office, and a contingency plan is being hurriedly put in place to prevent any re-emergence of the British Empire. "We've already had to fob off several approaches from the Irish Republic" said a rueful FO representative "and the calls from Nigerian Princes regarding frozen bank accounts are now at an all-time high"</p> <p>Just-Plain-Citizen Papademos says at last the Greeks can now get on with what they do best - tax-evasion and financial irresponsibility - without any let or hindrance. "Hoopa !" </p>