28031 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 16:46:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56976#post-165036 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:29:27 +0000 shaggy 165036@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>There's no excuse for that, I think he may also be a member of the KKK (or was that the judge?). </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56976#post-165033 Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:23:42 +0000 casualTLE 165033@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The prosecution of Oscar Pistorius over the death of Reeva Steenkamp took another dramatic turn on Thursday after the chief investigator, Hilton Botha, was again recalled to the court following the new revelation that he was facing charges of mis-selling payment protection insurance.</p> <p>Witness for the defence Fictieve Persoon testified: "I assumed we were being kidnapped when our coach was struck by a hail of bullets and forced from the road. But as I was bundled out onto the pavement I caught a whiff of lager on the breath and realised it was the police. My relief, however, turned to fear when someone leaned down to my bloodied head, clicked the safety off his handgun and whispered 'did you take out a mortgage or credit card between 2005 and 2010?'</p> <p>"'Because if so you may be entitled to compensation.'"</p> <p>Although Persoon was told that the no-win no-fee policy meant he had nothing to lose, he was not reassured. "I recognised that voice. It was the same voice that had offered me a mortgage and spelt out in straightforward Afrikaans that my house would be at risk if I did not keep up repayments. He said it didn't have to be that way. At the time it just made... so much... sense. It was only later that I realised that I had been made a victim. And I now know that man was... Hilton Botha."</p> <p>Botha's former sidekick Ongelooflike Leuens also spoke, telling the court: "He always seemed to have more money than you'd expect from a regular detective - I mean the salary, the extortion and the protection money only go so far. When I confronted him about this he admitted to moonlighting as a mortgage broker."</p> <p>Botha's former employer, consumer finance broker Belaglik Nonsens, commented: "Maybe he didn't play by the book. But he got results." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164562 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 21:54:26 +0000 Paddy Berzinski 164562@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good idea. With a bit of polishing this could be a gem. Stars. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164553 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 21:20:27 +0000 casualTLE 164553@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks Shaggy. Yes I think that actually the original story unaltered by me is perhaps more comical; didn't want to stray too far from it: <a href="http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/106081/One-Direction-Wed-Be-Criminals-If-It-Wasnt-For-Simon-Cowell" rel="nofollow">http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/106081/One-Direction-Wed-Be-Criminals-If-It-Wasnt-For-Simon-Cowell</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164528 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 20:33:58 +0000 shaggy 164528@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff, although might be funnier if the minority in the band these days was white, rather than black (cf JLS). Just a suggestion not a criticism. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164524 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 20:28:21 +0000 Lens Cap 164524@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As others have said, really good. FP is the Front Page in the main part of the site. There is one main article a day and two smaller ones </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164523 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 20:26:41 +0000 casualTLE 164523@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks! Sorry but what do you mean by FP? Am a bit of a Luddite </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164390 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 02:33:30 +0000 Jammydodgers 164390@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Found this realy funny once I looked up wtf 1D was.<br /> Anyhoo... Please FP this cos I wanna share somewhere all my daughters vacuous FB friends** will see it!*.<br /> cinq etoile!<br /> * does this make me a bad father? or just a father?!</p> <p>(** They're all actually lovely really apart from the small bit about knowing whether you've been born or not!) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164376 Sat, 23 Feb 2013 01:11:31 +0000 FlashArry 164376@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice one cas - stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164321 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 21:57:09 +0000 button 164321@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Really like this. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164317 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 20:49:51 +0000 Boutros 164317@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>vey good!</p> <p>nice typo too.. "underlass street life" ! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164313 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 20:12:12 +0000 dvo4fun 164313@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Like it - worth stars for the headline alone </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164310 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 19:56:59 +0000 Golgo13 164310@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Excellent </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164301 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 18:29:01 +0000 Squudge 164301@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>you can still edit your sub for the next 5 hours (for as long as the #EDIT tag is up below your sub). You may get much better ideas from other biscuits.. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164300 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 18:27:02 +0000 casualTLE 164300@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Thanks; yes I had to dash off.. missed a golden opportunity to use the word 'bitchin', which is unforgivable </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164290 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 17:47:32 +0000 Squudge 164290@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>rather enjoyed this one.<br /> not sure about that very last bit on rap though. Maybe he can just say 'word' or 'bitchin'<br /> ? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56789#post-164283 Fri, 22 Feb 2013 17:20:09 +0000 casualTLE 164283@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Criminals claim they would be living a life of meaningless manufactured pop-stardom if they had not had the benefit of vicious underlass street life, it emerged today.</p> <p>Speaking from the stairwell of his council estate high-rise, 22-year old gang member Lethal Trixx commented: "Honestly, some times I look back at how things have played out and I just cannot believe how lucky I have been.</p> <p>"Cowell approached me a few years ago about being the token ethnic minority one for his band. And I have to say, I was tempted - ironically, I am actually quite a good singer. Thankfully I developed a crippling crack-cocaine addiction and swiftly moved into a life of petty crime to support it. I was one audition away from a lifetime of personal style consultants, calendar photoshoots, increasingly difficult sessions with vocal coaches and finally the welcoming embrace of Ant or Dec off of I'm A Celebrity.</p> <p>"It doesn't bear thinking about."</p> <p>Meanwhile One Direction band member Harry Styles said: "I'm pretty street, you know. If I punch a granny can I be in the gang? And I can rap like a crazy-arsed mother." </p>