21435 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Thu, 20 Jun 2013 06:37:05 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22796#post-122480 Sat, 12 May 2012 16:02:52 +0000 bonjonelson 122480@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>if plastic bags last for 10,000 years, isn't that kind of a good way of carbon sequestration. Take the oil, make it into plastic bags, bury them in landfill. Much better than burning the oil in cars, I think. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22796#post-122476 Sat, 12 May 2012 14:53:54 +0000 Boutros 122476@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Similarity there, definitely. Great minds... etc etc</p> <p>Up you go you little rascal! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-65598 Thu, 21 Apr 2011 07:35:56 +0000 arthurminnit 65598@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>I'd advise a name change.</blockquote></p> <p>or implants and a brazilian. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-65545 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 13:36:28 +0000 Danny 65545@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I would genuinely be interested in reading the autobiographies of celebrities if it were all their own work with no ghost writers or any input from proof readers... original grammar and spelling so we can get a better insight into what they really like. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64820 Thu, 14 Apr 2011 08:36:14 +0000 Danny 64820@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What 12 year old wants to wear a cardigan anyway?? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64657 Wed, 13 Apr 2011 10:23:53 +0000 Ironduke 64657@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Too late to edit now, but would drop first 'however' from final paragraph and switch for 'but' and change to 'they're all made by people actually paid to do so'.</p> <p>And add in Danny's clothing idea...</p> <p>'You, you there clacking your needles like you're waiting for a head to fall at the tumbril...do you think your grandchildren actually want to be clothed in a beige and lilac oversize cable-knit cardigan in June? That your misshappen scratchy booties are appreciated even in the slightest? There are highly proficient Indonesian urchins who can rattle off whole pallet fulls of excellent clothing, fully logo'd and branded with Trains, Cars, Dolls or whatever other brand they're currently peddling, in just one 18hour shift yet you sit there dribbling over your mohair and expect a round of applause for a fucking bobble hat! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64655 Wed, 13 Apr 2011 10:13:41 +0000 Ironduke 64655@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>At least now you'll be able to explain what's happened to matron, Mary. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64642 Wed, 13 Apr 2011 09:31:07 +0000 Danny 64642@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes I have to agree that if the only thing that comes from this story is 'gusset nugget' it will have been worth it. Genius. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64641 Wed, 13 Apr 2011 09:26:14 +0000 Mary Evans 64641@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I learn so much here. 'Gusset Nugget' is now duly inducted into my lexicon - lovely stuff, Ironduke. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64640 Wed, 13 Apr 2011 09:24:55 +0000 Ironduke 64640@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Oh yes indeedy Danny...nice angle to add in too mate </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64634 Wed, 13 Apr 2011 09:14:15 +0000 Danny 64634@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Spot on Ironduke, 5* from me!</p> <p>'ASDA even does a range of cheap clothing. What's the point up spending hours knitting our grandchildren clothes that are far too large and an awful colour and pattern when some little Indonesian child can do a much less embarrassing job for a fraction of the cost?' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64624 Wed, 13 Apr 2011 08:32:21 +0000 Ironduke 64624@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Strigs are those gritty bits of peel in marmalade...maybe its just me that calls them that?<br /> Woudl edit first reference to 'cookie' to 'biscuit' also ~ avoiding repetition. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64610 Wed, 13 Apr 2011 06:53:44 +0000 be reasonable 64610@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64604 Wed, 13 Apr 2011 00:56:43 +0000 Nick McCarr 64604@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I had a larf too but what are 'strigs'? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64603 Tue, 12 Apr 2011 23:04:05 +0000 rikkor 64603@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Funny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23782#post-64598 Tue, 12 Apr 2011 21:55:29 +0000 Ironduke 64598@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Norah Hepplethwaite, Honorary Harridan of the Inner Temple of the Hertfordshire Women's Institute, spoke enthusiastically for the motion. She railed "I'm heartily sick of grinding my way through poorly chopped strigs in bitter marmalade; of having to peel a scabby paper lid off my jar of pippy, runny jam, of hacking my way into a burnt fruit cake using an electric carving knife and a run up, and of chewing inexorably through a misshappen rubbery goat turd of a cookie.</p> <p>You can buy all of these products perfectly economically in supermarkets, they lay on a bus to get you there, and all they're made by people actually paid to do so. I looked in ASDA before coming down here, and a pack of double choc-chip cookies was 36pence. 36 fucking pence! And they're crispy, crunchy, and all the same bloody size. Now, you tell me which of you slack-bladdered parsimonious old trouts can consistently make anything like that quality, for that cost, and I'll be trotting round to your stand at the cake sale.</p> <p>As for you at it with the home brew, if I have to smile my way through another tot of your toxic weasel piss when Co-op are doing perfectly acceptable own brand Dry Sherry for £5.49 a litre I'll drop a gusset nugget here and now."</p> <p>In closing her impassioned argument to a full conference Norah implored all delegates to vote for her motion, however, when votes were counted it was carried by just ten votes to three. The local Morrison's, however, reported a sudden run on Sherry, marmalade, chocolate biscuits and Tenna Lady products. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62066 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 19:19:58 +0000 Basil_B 62066@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>All very good Danny. Shame it's shot it's bolt as it were as a mere ticker. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62062 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 19:04:37 +0000 Danny 62062@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Have just added this to my original post above:</p> <p>The researchers attempted to relieve the concerns of animal rights activists who were questioning what would happen to the monkeys once the experiment had concluded.</p> <p>"They will defintitely not be without a home. We have had lots of interest from people who need ghost writers for other autobiographies. There are plenty of glamour models and 21 year old footballers who have signed five part book deals and need something to fill the pages. We've even had a former Prime Minister ask to hire one for a while." </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62026 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:21:44 +0000 Basil_B 62026@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Glad you stressed Jordan there so we didn't get it confused with John Wiltshire's Cambridge friend </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62021 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:13:50 +0000 beau-jolly 62021@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Unfortunately the pictures in Jordan's book caused many of the monkeys to be spanked. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62004 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:51:10 +0000 John Wiltshire 62004@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>So it does! There is nothing new under the sun - or indeed, in The Sun. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-62002 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:50:01 +0000 be reasonable 62002@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>What goes around, comes around:<br /> <a href="http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12928" rel="nofollow">http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=12928</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61999 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:47:35 +0000 Qoxiivi 61999@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>The Cambridge University Katie Price has already thought of that, so to avoid confusion and preserve her anonymity, she's publishing her PhD 'Dark Matter, Hegelian Dialectics and Anthropomorphic Duellism in a Symbiotic Universe' under the name Peter Andre</blockquote></p> <p>Is that Peter Andre the celebrated Dutch anthropologist? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61984 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:13:20 +0000 Basil_B 61984@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>'and that Rooney looks too ape-like it would confuse the point of the story somewhat'</p> <p>Aha but the gib of your story would suggest that to be monkey/ape/primate like would be an advantage.</p> <p>Next years booker prize winner= Wayne Rooney with his autobiography titled 'the moon's just like my face' which is geninuely all Waynes own work as all the faeces supplied to write it came from his very own arse. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61978 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:00:35 +0000 John Wiltshire 61978@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The Cambridge University Katie Price has already thought of that, so to avoid confusion and preserve her anonymity, she's publishing her PhD 'Dark Matter, Hegelian Dialectics and Anthropomorphic Duellism in a Symbiotic Universe' under the name Peter Andre. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61977 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:00:07 +0000 Danny 61977@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes if anyone can think of a better celebrity then let me know... I'm aware that Jade Goody would be too distasteful, and that Rooney looks too ape-like it would confuse the point of the story somewhat! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61976 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:57:25 +0000 brownpaperreporter 61976@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>quality - have stars! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61975 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:53:20 +0000 Basil_B 61975@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'd advise a name change. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61972 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:50:34 +0000 John Wiltshire 61972@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I'll have you know that Katie Price is a very serious, intelligent woman who has well thought-out views on current affairs, and has read and researched some of the qworld's great philosophers with the aim of contributing a significant work to help us understand our place in the universe.<br /> She works at Cambridge University, and is completely unrelated to the silicone-chested airhead publicity-mad thicko who used to be called Jordan. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=22912#post-61969 Wed, 23 Mar 2011 14:42:27 +0000 Basil_B 61969@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I've heard Price is sueing the monkey for plagerism, even right down to the writing method. </p>