16826 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Sat, 18 May 2013 09:53:09 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-14680 Mon, 31 May 2010 09:58:16 +0000 Ddigon o broblem 14680@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The WSA - Welsh Space Agency is again in the news following a fisherman being seriously injured over the bank holiday weekend.</p> <p>Dai Minnow, 48 a fisherman from the fishing hamlet of Morfa Nefyn was five miles out into the irish sea when his craft was showered with metal objects. One of the objects struck Mr Minnow and on regaining consciousness he managed to make a may-day call which was retrieved by the Holyhead coastguard.</p> <p>RAF Valley on Anglesey, which had two jets in the area at the time confirmed the incident to be space debris falling from earth orbit.</p> <p>Speaking from his bed at Aberdaron Cottage Hospital, Dai had shared his ordeal on how his boat came under attack from a shower of objects and how a metal bar two feet in length had struck him down... However, in true fisherman style his description has varied and his hands are now five feet apart when describing the object which nearly took him to his maker.</p> <p>It is confirmed the metal object is debris from the 1968 WSA Lunar Mission. The WSA were heavily critiscised at the time for their method of space travel, as they pioneered coal powered rockets within redundant USA Gemini shells. The spacecraft adjoined to the mega-coal rocket was the famous 'Lunar Taff' captained by Max Boyce and accompanied by Ron Davies MP.<br /> 'Lunar Taff' was rumoured at the time as being a former narrow boat, upended and strapped to a gigantic rocket. The WSA dismissed this as being propaganda from the USSR as the race for the moon intensified.</p> <p>However, following investigation the object which struck Dai Minnow has been found to be a tiller from a narrowboat, and amongst other debris found on deck is part of a boats stern emblazoned with the words 'Lucky Maisy'.<br /> British Waterways have confirmed 'Lucky Maisy' was indeed a 63' narrow boat stolen from the Llangollen canal in March 1967.</p> <p>The WSA will release a statement later this week.<br /> Commander Max Boyce who is currently appearing in panto, playing Widow Twankie at Swansea Leisure Centre was last night unavailable for comment.</p> <p>More to follow,<br /> Ddigon O Broblemau, Biscuit At Ten, Grindley Brook. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-11433 Fri, 07 May 2010 23:56:49 +0000 Ddigon o broblem 11433@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fo enw i ydy ddim Michael Caine.<br /> Mae genni ddigon o broblemau, a diddordebau.</p> <p>Dw i'n hoffi fawr Max Boyce. Mae o'n bendigeddid a mae on da ganu hefyd. </p> <p>Ok, ok we are in the middle of elections and this crazy welsh true story will just not go away!<br /> Is 'lunar taff' no different than 'rage against the machine' of news biscuit top ten?<br /> Please keep on voting...</p> <p>Diolch yn fawr iawn! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-11246 Thu, 06 May 2010 21:37:57 +0000 Basil_B 11246@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ron Davies MP and Max Boyce's involvement in the WSA was a complete mystery too many at the time mainly because of their complete lack of experience as astronauts but considering the only thing Wales could produce that went any higher than Tom Jones vocal chords was the Severn Bridge then desperation forced the two of them to be employed.<br /> WSA official for the mission Shadvell Evan Evan Thomas made the final decision on the pair after watching them both perform at the Welsh equivalent of Oppurtunity Knocks the 1967 Llangollen Eisteddford . Boyce did his oggy oggy oggy routine followed by a few gags about sheep related incidents with local farmers while Davies mumbled out some red reactionary poetry to the tune of land of my fathers.<br /> Thomas explained his selection ' we were thinking of sending a couple of monkeys up there for the first flight but there aren't too many of them in Wales, so we thought these couple of characters would be the next best thing'.<br /> Before they new it messers Boyce and Davies were virtually press ganged into astronautical service thanks to getting heavily drunk in the hospitality tent leaving them at the mercy of a WSA recruitment agent with pen and paper at the ready to sign the two of them up. Boyce was quoted at the time as saying ' what the bloody hell have I signed up to you sligh bugger, me a bloody astronaut , you know my da always said I should of been shot into space and I would of been if he hadn't been drunk when I was conceived'. Davies was a little more circumspect ' I just hope they've built a good toilet door in that spaceship' and with those wise old astronautical terms the both of them found themselves in the service of the WSA. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-11226 Thu, 06 May 2010 18:48:35 +0000 Ddigon o broblem 11226@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>"Yes, I did begin to find Boyce attractive" Davies conceeded, "I was 240,000 miles from Caerphilly and I had needs."</blockquote> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-11217 Thu, 06 May 2010 18:19:33 +0000 Ddigon o broblem 11217@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>After an initial refusal to comment, Ron Davies MP agreed to speak on recent reports of his role within the Welsh Space Agency inaugral mission to the moon in 1968.<br /> Mr Davies invited a small audience to his luxury maisonette overlooking Cardiff Bay to put the record straight on his astronautical career.<br /> Mr Davies recalled the proud moment he was chosen as crew for the mission which would see the Welsh Space Agency launch the first ever 'coal powered' rocket into space. However his relationship with Commander Max Boyce was tenacious to say the least, and personalities clashed before the craft had even took off.<br /> The craft had developed problems as Mr Davies explained, "One of the liquid oxygen pressure valves was leaking badly, and the heat shield for re-entry had developed cracking, but we decided to take a chance on those items. However T minus 2 minutes from take off I noted the privacy lock on the toilet door was a little stiff to unlock and I wanted to halt the mission until a technician could fix it, but Commander Max Boyce was not for halting the mission and hit the take-off button!"<br /> Davies explained how blast off was terrifying, and was not aided by 'oggy, oggy, Oggy!' being screamed repeditively. "The man was an absolute nusiance, a nightmare, my only solice was the toilet and its privacy lock."</p> <p>It has been explained earlier how Commander Boyce suffered oxygen starvation whilst doing his moonwalk, what was previously unbeknown was that Ron Davies had purposely crimped his oxygen pipe in preparation of the return journey home.</p> <p>"Yes, I did begin to find Boyce attractive" Davies conceeded, "I was 240,000 miles from Caerphilly and I had needs. I starved him of oxygen, dimmed the spacecraft lights, I put on some 'Peters &amp; Lee', took a splash of 'old spice' and made my move".<br /> However, Boyce was having none of it!<br /> Back at Harlech Mission Control technicians became alarmed at the crafts instability, any change in angle of trajection would have been disastorous on earth entry. Technicians assumed the oxygen pressure valve had finally failed, but the problem was caused by Boyce awakening from his state, declining Davies' advances and proceeding to chase him around the space craft clobbering him with his giant inflatable daffodil...<br /> Davies reflected "I guess thats why I chose not to 'come out' for another two decades, what with all that commotion and causing our low angle of entry to endanger our lives and then to hit the dam wall on splash down".</p> <p>We thanked Ron Davies for his time in sharing his experiences, we made our excuses and left. To meet in the flesh one of Wales only two space travellers was truly a great occassion.</p> <p>Ddigon O Broblemau, Biscuit at Ten, Cardiff Bay. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-10802 Tue, 04 May 2010 21:34:05 +0000 Basil_B 10802@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>If anybody is doubting the validity of this Welsh Lunar tale then do like I did today and go and check the archive records at Llanwyddan library.<br /> Having spent what felt like hours snaking my way up the valley roads to this scarcely populated Welsh Village I finally parked up outside the library as I immediatley regonised by the sign which read Llanwyddan library.<br /> Inside I was greeted by a short slightly hunched figure that went by the name of Llynn the Librarian who eyed me with great suspicion as I asked to see the records of the WSA first moon landing of 1968. My request was met with a stern reply, 'look you now boyo, what business is it of yours englishman ' I revealed the source of my interest ' one of your own ddigon o broblem has told all on national news (biscuit) of this mission and my curiosty to find out more has led me to here'. Llyn's stern expression turned to one of a more gentle nature as he fondly remembered ddigon ' oh yes ddigon, I bought my first goat from his dad you know', I was getting impatient ' I'm not interested in goats old man, wheres the bloody info', Llyn replied ' ok boyo keep your hair , it's over here'.<br /> He led me over to the corner of the library to a rather battered wood worm ridden old doorway which he opened with a creak that was louder than a red dragon farting to show some of the most important artifacts known to Welsh Space Travel. There before my very eyes I could see at first hand the original blow up leek as used by Max Boyce to commenerate the landing and there stood next to it the very toilet door as used by Ron Davies Mp for skulking behind for most of the flight. There were photos strewn about the foor showing villagers celebrating Max and Ron's return via a crash landing on Lake Vyrnwy amongst them Shammy Davies and son Shammy Davies Jnr with arms around their window cleaning partner Clean Martin from Holyhead. Llyn looked at the pictures with dewey eyed sentiment obviously remembering with pride the most famous event in his beloved villages history before remarking on one picture containing Ron Davies ' you know boyo, little did we know all those years ago that we were really celebrating with the only gay in the village'. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-10752 Tue, 04 May 2010 18:31:12 +0000 Ddigon o broblem 10752@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The inhabitants of Llanwyddan woke on the morning of June 10th 1968 to find their sleepy village becoming a hive of activity.<br /> HTV broadcasting vehicles swarmed their narrow village streets, and wormed their way up the mountain lane towards the reservoir.<br /> Dai the cafe stood behind his counter, hands on his hips, looking over the thriving mass of news reporters slurping tea and devouring his wife Mavis' home made bara brith.<br /> Outside, local window cleaner Shammy Davies and his son, Shammy Davies Junior posed for national photographers as they sang welsh hymns for their note pad clutching audience.</p> <p>This was the day history would be made - the return of two proud welshmen from their mission to the moon, Max Boyce and his trusted sidekick Ron 'Buzz' Davies MP.</p> <p>By midday, quite a crowd had gathered on the shores of the reservoir. Faces and cameras all turned skyward waiting for the 'Cymric Capsule' to splash down into the liquid mass of Llyn Vyrnwy.<br /> And then the birds stopped singing, only the sounds of the water splashing against the shoreline, and then the silence was broken... "Dymma fo!!!" A local cried. An object was spotted across the horizon, its trajectory too low it came hurtling down the valley, bending and breaking the treetops it penetrated the water and reemerged skimming along the surface at tremendous speed...<br /> Crash! The craft hit the walls of the dam, debris strewn in all directions, water bubbling as the remains slowly sank... And then, to cheers of joy Max Boyce emerged, his spare inflatable daffodil propelled him to the surface, followed by Ron Davies clutching to driftwood, it later emerged to be the remnants of the spacecraft toilet door.</p> <p>Legends I hear you say. Chwarae teg! Hero's of the nation.<br /> A ticker tape welcome awaited them as their cavalcade paraded through the streets of Welshpool.. Children cheered, Men and women cried...History in the making... <strong>I know, because I was there.</strong> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-10584 Mon, 03 May 2010 19:59:48 +0000 Ddigon o broblem 10584@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I was unaware of the fact 'The Clangers' had been based on the WSA mission, but I can well believe it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-10582 Mon, 03 May 2010 19:55:16 +0000 Basil_B 10582@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Apparently Boyce's jibberish catchphrase caught on so well it went on to inspire Oliver Postgate to go on and create the Clangers. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-10580 Mon, 03 May 2010 19:49:24 +0000 PluckyMunky 10580@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hey, enough of this but! Keep it tidy, now, boys. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-10578 Mon, 03 May 2010 19:34:43 +0000 Ddigon o broblem 10578@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>...The 'circus' of the Welsh Space Agency and its 1968 mission to the moon has become legendary...<br /> Who can forget the live TV images beamed back from the lunar surface, as they prepared for the moonwalk and Astronaut Max Boyce struggling to open the spacecraft toilet door to retrieve Ron Davies MP who had been lingering around the convenience since leaving earth orbit... Millions watched from around the globe as Boyce karate kicked the loo door open only to find Davies in a position where Boyce could only utter those immortal words..."Harlech -we have a problem!"<br /> And finally the moonwalk... and those first words spoken on the moon surface "Oggy, oggy oggy!" Followed by welshmen the world over chanting in reply at their black and white TV sets "Oy, oy, OY!" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-10451 Sun, 02 May 2010 17:44:30 +0000 Basil_B 10451@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Was it true that Boyce was accompanied by a young Ron Davies MP on that mission whose refusal to come out of the landing craft was not the only thing he was refusing to come out about at that time, choosing instead to do that thirty years later after being caught with similar men of his sexual persuasion on Clapham Common. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=3612#post-10369 Sat, 01 May 2010 21:11:34 +0000 Ddigon o broblem 10369@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>NASA have continued to make no comment in response to claims Wales won the space race to the moon. Film reels recently retrieved from a redundant cinema in Bala have shown black and white footage of a top secret welsh rocket taking off from Cape Caernarfon in 1968, a year earlier than the famous american Neil Armstrong mission. This has added considerable weight to rumours the Welsh Space Agency rather than the Soviet Union where the americans main rivals in the race to the moon.<br /> The welsh astronaut who allegedly was the true first man to walk on the moon surface was a certain Mr Max Boyce who went on to become the genius welsh comedian. Allegedly Boyce suffered considerable oxygen starvation due to a technical fault with his apperatus during his moon walk which explains considerably his later stage performances throughout the 1970's.<br /> It is understood that astronaut Boyce left his trademark inflatable leek on the moon surface so that future space travellers would be aware of his nations amazing feat. Independent welsh lunar researcher Dr Llwelyn Glyndwr has analysed the tape recordings of Armstrongs 1969 visit, and after analysis claims Boyce's earlier visit was noted by Armstrong as he descended towards the lunar surface. Dr Glyndwr has replayed the american tapes and Armstrongs words are clearly heard...<blockquote>This is one small step for man... <em>(Armstrong catches glimpse of Boyce's inflatable)</em>... one giant leek for mankind</blockquote>. </p>