14682 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Fri, 24 May 2013 19:44:29 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38215#post-108105 Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:32:28 +0000 Perks 108105@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good stuff. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-108093 Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:35:00 +0000 beau-jolly 108093@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Alex: 100 cylists killed? Is that all? Come on everyone, surely we can try harder.</p> <p>Offensive? Don't care, I saw Frankie Boyle of Buzzcocks the other night and wet myself. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38215#post-108092 Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:26:51 +0000 beau-jolly 108092@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Made me snort with laughter. Nice on Charlie.<br /> Sub was fine, I guess. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38215#post-108086 Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:46:54 +0000 waylandsmithy 108086@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Scrubs up ok. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-108067 Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:19:28 +0000 Son of Barnabas 108067@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><blockquote>As someone whom used to cycle 2500miles a year round Birmingham</blockquote></p> <p>Oh, you got stuck on the ring road too, did you? Same thing happened to me the only time I went to Brum. Couldn't work out how to get off it! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38215#post-108066 Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:18:30 +0000 charlies_hat 108066@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>meh - it's ok i suppose...... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38215#post-108045 Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:36:02 +0000 Vertically Challenged Giant 108045@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A follow up to popular TV show ‘Don’t tell the bride’ has been cancelled after the first episode of ‘Don’t tell the groom’ failed to generate the same sort of emotional tension as the original.</p> <p>The pilot episode of the new show saw bride-to-be Amy Phillips from Chester given £15,000 to organise her wedding with no input whatsoever from her future husband John Dunlop. As Amy struggled to organise everything in just three weeks John moved in with his best man, drank heavily and spent hours playing Call of Duty on the PS3.</p> <p>The producers finally decided to pull the plug after the big reveal of the suit Amy had picked out for John, intended to be the pivotal moment of the show, saw him react by shrugging and saying ‘That’ll do.’</p> <p>Despite the series being cancelled the episode featuring John and Amy’s wedding still went ahead. John’s final verdict on the job Amy did putting the wedding together was ‘Yeah, it was alright wasn’t it?’. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-108025 Fri, 03 Feb 2012 07:56:04 +0000 Immunis 108025@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>As someone whom used to cycle 2500miles a year round Birmingham and used those secret hidden devices called 'roads' rather than 'that cycle lane thingy that people keep walking on', I find this very funny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107995 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 16:00:08 +0000 button 107995@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very good and not at all offensive </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107988 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:16:55 +0000 dvo4fun 107988@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>harsh but fair cinq </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107982 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:23:15 +0000 cinquecento 107982@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5* because of the lycra clad arsehole who cycled on red through a dense crowd of people using the pedestrian crossing on London Wall yesterday. May he be egg-sliced through a railing by a left-turning lorry full of pigshit. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107967 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:06:07 +0000 kimllfixit 107967@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I used to cycle everywhere (both obeying and ignoring the law) and I think this is great! 5* :) </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107958 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:05:19 +0000 Mathna 107958@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>5* as one nearly hit me yesterday at a crossing... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107943 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:52:34 +0000 dvo4fun 107943@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I (think I)knew a bloke who's brother once had a bike but even so I did not find this sub offensive </p> <p>I stopped 'dooring' cyclists in my late teens, shortly after also realising that pushing over a Posty's parked-up loaded-up bike wasn't big or clever.</p> <p>Funny sub though. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107939 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:42:54 +0000 Midfield Diamond 107939@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Very funny and not disrespectful in any way whatsoever because it is far too close to the truth. </p> <p>Surely room for the psychopath/cycle path pun in there somewhere? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107929 Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:22:46 +0000 Username 107929@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>naughty but funny </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107899 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 22:24:42 +0000 ianslat 107899@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Far fetched, but funny. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107896 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 21:44:26 +0000 John Ffitch-Rucker 107896@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nothing wrong with this; I’m a cyclist too, and although I obey the highway code I get hassled because others disobey the rules, so I’m not sympathetic. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107889 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:01:28 +0000 Perks 107889@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Sorry if i offend alex. Story was inspired by <a href="http://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/archive/2012/01/27/Oxford+news+%28om_oxfordnews%29/9496487.City_cyclists_still_flouting_the_rules/">this</a> and many years driving and cycling in oxford where some cyclists need to learn a bit of self preservation. As I dont mention any cyclists dying and the fact people die for all sorts of reasons I dont think there is a 'have some respect' issue here. However I appreciate your comment, the fact that you read to the end and finally gave me the chance of a cheap bump. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107884 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:42:22 +0000 alexpalacefan 107884@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Poor. It's hard enough riding on the road without this sort of attitude being repeated.</p> <p>Well over 100 cyclists were killed on the road last year. Let's have a bit of respect please.</p> <p>But, liked the spokes-men gag :-)</p> <p>APF </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=38166#post-107882 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:20:29 +0000 Perks 107882@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>A cyclist in Oxford has been forced to apologise for confusion caused to all other road users when he took the irresponsible decision to obey a red light. The chaos that ensued led to 3 cars being written off and one driver being airlifted to hospital.</p> <p> Mr Derek Peddler, a keen cyclist for more than 30 years told a press conference ‘I am sorry for all the pain, hurt and shock my outrageous law-abiding road use has caused. I saw the red light and I don’t know what came over me. I felt my fingers tightening on the brake lever and came to a controlled stopped. Then I just waited, and waited, and although I would normally have just gone for it hoping drivers could avoid me, I waited some more. I was a surprised as anyone, especially at the discovery that those ‘light poles’ also have a green light.’</p> <p> Unfortunately, stopping at the red light caused other drivers to try and second guess the cyclists next move. John Redding was waiting in his Nissan Micra at the red light when he saw Mr Peddler approaching in his mirrors. ‘I saw him coming so started flashing my headlights at the drivers using the junction, to warn them a ‘Kamikaze cyclist’ was approaching. But then he just stopped. I can‘t be sure, but I think he may have also been using the cycle lane.’ </p> <p> It was at this point the whole junction seemed to enter a phase of suspended animation, with everyone motionless, looking to the cyclist and waiting for his next move. However, the ‘pause button’ was not pressed for long as a ‘white van man’ ploughed into the back of stationary traffic. The van driver was concussed by the accident but was able to recall whistling at ‘a fine sort’ just before rear-ending the Micra. The impact was so hard that he dislocated his shoulder and dislodged ‘The Sun’ from the dashboard.’</p> <p> Mr Peddler has promised to do all he can to ensure he rides on the pavement, goes the wrong way down one way streets, and rides in the dark with no lights so that his riding is ‘more predictable’ to other road users. However, as he left the press conference on his bike, he was seen to put his arm out to signal before crossing the path of oncoming traffic. PC Harding from Thames Valley Police told us that although he could not charge the cyclist with ‘riding with due care and attention’ he may be able to charge him for having a defective wheel. ‘The wheel in question is being examined by our team of experts, and as soon as we know, you will hear from our spokes-men.’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37931#post-107769 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 09:16:37 +0000 borednow 107769@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>would it be a spiral ladder? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37931#post-107744 Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:59:10 +0000 Perks 107744@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I really like it. agree, it is a bit long for the attention span of the average biscuiteer. I think it would be worth looking at the jokes and then getting rid of anything that doesn't add to them. It may mean losing bits that you like, but it will result in a slicker read.</p> <p> That said, better to start with 600 words and reduce to 400 than fall in to the common trap of having 200 and padding it out to 400. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37931#post-107635 Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:44:33 +0000 FlashArry 107635@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>maximum starrage - great story, especially as I can see himself mouthing the words. </p> <p>Mebbe the Great and the Good will butcher it to the correct format, but I like it as it is </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37931#post-107619 Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:43:57 +0000 Immunis 107619@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Is this a news story or a short novel?<br /> There are some nice jokes but it needs to be 1/3 shorter.<br /> 4 stars with 5 as a possible post edit </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37931#post-107614 Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:33:06 +0000 dvo4fun 107614@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Hi chaps, would this be worth working on/editing when [I'm] sober? </p> <p>Or is it just a bit shit? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37931#post-107146 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:23:52 +0000 dvo4fun 107146@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Nice one b-j. Have sucked and blown it in near the end </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37931#post-107142 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:09:40 +0000 beau-jolly 107142@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>How about a quote; "no-one can say my cleaners suck" </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37931#post-107138 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 13:42:21 +0000 dvo4fun 107138@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Any comments, suggestions, jokes appreciated </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=37931#post-107118 Thu, 26 Jan 2012 11:21:00 +0000 kimllfixit 107118@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Ahh, more Dyson-bashing :)</p> <p>Stars for you. </p>