14634 The NewsBiscuit Community en-US Mon, 20 May 2013 06:29:42 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/search.php http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63975 Thu, 07 Apr 2011 21:19:50 +0000 ronseal 63975@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>The writers of vaguely car based sitcom Top Gear have furiously denied stealing their ideas from Roy Clarke's Last of the Summer Wine.</p> <p>"Our show features three old gits, at odds with the modern world, who react to their powerlessness by retreating into a second childhood. How on earth is that similar to Last of the Summer Wine?" said a Top Gear insider.</p> <p>Clarke is not impressed. "The old reactionary gits all fantasise about unrequited love for a fantasy figure. In Top Gear he's called The Stig. In LOTSW it's Nora Batty. Put the Stig in a housecoat and a pair of wrinkled stockings, and you've got Nora."</p> <p>In an early episode of Summer Wine, Comp, Clegg and Foggy all describe Nora. "Some say she's got wrinkled stockings," says Compo. "Some say she's going to appear as a Chorus Girl in the final episode," said Clegg.<br /> "And some said he's going to be a prototype for the Stig in a shitty BBC rip off in decades to come," said Roy Clarke.</p> <p>The theft of his situation and characters was bad enough, said Clarke. But what really hurt was the wholesale lifting of his trademark set piece knockabout finales, when Compo or Clegg or Foggy would invariably career down a hill in a bath on wheels or float off in an improbably out of control balloon that drifts into airport space. </p> <p>"All those pathetic stunts they do, and the contrived incidents and crashes. I find them as nauseating as the next man. In fact, more nauseating, because those are my ideas. If that wasn't insulting enough, they've stolen all my storylines and passed them off as their own."</p> <p>Top Gear characters Clarkie, Poshie and Shrimp were unavailable for comment. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63973 Thu, 07 Apr 2011 19:11:01 +0000 ronseal 63973@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>yes, will do</p> <p>I'm watching watchdog at the moment </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63880 Thu, 07 Apr 2011 10:14:39 +0000 newsbiscuit editorial team 63880@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>We think there's definite potential here, probably more from the Top Gear nicking Summer Wine ideas, rather than the opposite. Does Ronseal or anyone else fancy having a go at writing it up in full? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63775 Wed, 06 Apr 2011 14:18:18 +0000 John Wiltshire 63775@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>And the same plot each week - 'This week we pit Richard Hammond in a Bugatti Veyron against a bloke on foot wearing a diving suit in a race across Europe, and amazingly it's a dead heat - yet again...' </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63450 Sun, 03 Apr 2011 12:39:18 +0000 4ty2 63450@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>[url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/approved_entry/A3322072/conversation/view/1951566/T7063794/page/22][/url]<br /> did we have tha bathtub down the hill scene in topgear yet? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63357 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 17:04:55 +0000 Scroat 63357@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>We're not allowed anything sharp either. What a bummer. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23294#post-63328 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 13:22:41 +0000 The All New Jeni B 63328@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Stunts, I do believe I have the copy of Smash Hits with that winning line somewhere in my Dad's house.<br /> Incidentally, I surely am not the only Scot to have sniggered every week while picking up my copy over the "wee jobby" in the title?</p> <p>Anyway, my only claim to fame magazine wise, is to have been regularly caught bunking off school because of my appearances in the 'vox pops' of Blue Jeans, Jackie and Patches.<br /> You'd think I would have learned after the first one. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23341#post-63317 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 11:26:46 +0000 jp1885 63317@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Cheers! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63316 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 11:25:27 +0000 riesler 63316@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>they only allow me to use crayons. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63307 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 10:10:20 +0000 John Wiltshire 63307@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brilliant idea! Have lots of stars </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63306 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 10:05:26 +0000 ronseal 63306@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Now my pencil's broken too </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63305 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:58:16 +0000 riesler 63305@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>maybe you could use a more restful coloured paper? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23341#post-63304 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:54:16 +0000 riesler 63304@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Fab JP. Look forward to seeing this on the front page. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23341#post-63302 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:51:09 +0000 jp1885 63302@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>While the ever-rising price of oil, caused in part by unrest in the Middle East, is hurting the pockets of families and businesses alike, there is one group that welcomes the inevitable economic meltdown. For while many Britons fearfully look to the time when going on the dole will become more cost-effective than filling the car for the journey to work, the impending fuel apocalypse can’t come soon enough for the nation’s Mad Max wannabes. </p> <p>‘Bring it on,’ declared 'Mad' Nigel Morrison, president of the NFARWS (Near-Future Apocalyptic Road Warriors Society). ‘The sooner we can start racing up and down the M6, battling it out over dwindling supplies of petrol, the better. With my brother-in-law’s old motorbike gear I really look the business, especially with the natty feather mohican I’ve made,’ the 42 year-old systems analyst revealed, ‘and my I’ve already booked in the garage to have a nitrous oxide injector fitted to my Honda Accord.’</p> <p>IT consultant David ‘Toecutter’ Brimfield is also well into preparations for the imminent destruction of civilised society. ‘Radiation meter, crossbow, armoured codpiece – I’ve got the lot. I’ve also purchased a plastic container and a length of rubber hose so that I can start siphoning fuel from any vehicles I’ve captured once the balloon goes up. I had a sneaky practice outside Membury services the other night – it doesn’t half burn when it goes down doesn’t it?’</p> <p>In anticipation of the breakdown of law and order in the UK, the NFARWS has issued a guidebook, ‘So You Want to Be a Warrior of the Wasteland?’, which contains hints and tips on survival in post-apocalyptic Britain. Topics include piloting an autogyro, laying siege to heavily defended oil refineries and dealing with tribes of lost feral children. The society also intend to hold a number of practical training sessions – tracking through the desert wastes of Halesowen on a camel-drawn Mustang being the first.</p> <p>However, despite the NFARWS’ dystopian vision, road warriors like Morrison and Brimfield are also looking to rebuild something approximating civilisation once the initial round of fighting and pillaging along Britain's motorways has died down. ‘We’ve drawn up plans for a brand new city, which we’ve christened Haggletown,’ claimed Morrison. ‘Built on the ruins of Bradford - we'll use the council offices as a Thunderdome - Haggletown will become a haven for the desperate, the dispossessed and the dangerous.’</p> <p>‘Chantelle from accounts looks a bit like Tina Turner, so if we can get her onboard then all the better,’ continued Brimefield, ‘and we’ve already found an agency where we can hire a midget. All we need now is find a gigantic muscle-bound imbecile for him to sit on and we’re sorted – does anyone know if Alex Reid is free now that Jordan’s dumped him?’ </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63301 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:45:57 +0000 ronseal 63301@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good idea Sinnick</p> <p>I will get around to this</p> <p>I've got to write a white paper on data centres, and its doing my head in! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63297 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:31:41 +0000 Anonymous 63297@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>See '3 blokes in a bath' <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80sSbLzSuak" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80sSbLzSuak</a> </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63292 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:03:52 +0000 Sinnick 63292@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Could equally be the other way around - Top Gear doing the stealing.</p> <p>Some say, she does her housework in her undies, and used to be an Australian spy researching cheap British sitcoms. All we know is, her name is the Batty.</p> <p>I'm sure someone can do better ... </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23294#post-63291 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:02:31 +0000 allmyownstunts 63291@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Too young? Pshaw. Back in the day, I won an autographed Human League album (Dare) in the Smash Hits caption competition.<br /> The question was: 'I can't live without an autographed Human League album because...'<br /> My award winning answer? 'I can't get with it without it'.<br /> See, you never lose it. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63289 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 08:56:33 +0000 Scroat 63289@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Brill. ***** </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63288 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 08:50:12 +0000 jp1885 63288@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>James May hurtling down a hill in a bathtub - this thing practically writes itself! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23294#post-63286 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 08:38:32 +0000 nealdoran 63286@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>I pop in with a friendly SMash Hits reference, which you're all obviously too young to appreciate, and come back a few hours later and it's descended into some kind of sexy talk drinks bender. Once again, I'm in not quite the right place, at not quite the right time.</p> <p>Vince, I believe you've moved, but reports of the likelihood of traffic jams in certain areas appear to have followed you. Emigration may have to be the next step. </p> <p>I imagine that the answer to all possible tricky questions at any age from any boy child must surely to be to answer in intricate gynaecological detail. Ideally with slides. First time might be a tad embarrassing, but you should only have to do it once, and you could be sure you'd never be asked again, and for decades to come they'd not even be able to look at a nubile young continental without horrific flashbacks. You can always adopt grandchildren.</p> <p>Be reasonable, as you were.</p> <p>Has anyone seen the Noilly Prat bottle I was keeping my meths in? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63280 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 08:21:09 +0000 ronseal 63280@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Exploding caravans! I love it</p> <p>Jeremy Clarkson's from Yorkshire too </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63267 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 07:50:50 +0000 Danny 63267@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Yes, exploding caravans a must, plus a few comments about Europe and it's 5 stars from me! </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63264 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 07:08:08 +0000 jp1885 63264@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Great idea - if you expand this you also have to have an exploding caravan in it, if only to please Richard Hammond.<br /> Starrage. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63260 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 06:44:30 +0000 riesler 63260@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Lovely. Shall l fill this with 5 stars for you Guv? </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63259 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 06:29:43 +0000 Oxbridge 63259@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Could be mined further, without spelling out names, e.g. convoluted and improbable plots. </p> <p>Possible end. An observer also noticed the characters' apparently pathological need to carry out their immature fantasy-based behaviour in front of an audience, invariably with attractive women pushed to the front. "Ooh, that Nora Batty, if I were 20 years younger..." he sighed. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63257 Fri, 01 Apr 2011 06:12:16 +0000 be reasonable 63257@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>You're on fire at the moment, Mr. Seal. 5* </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63250 Thu, 31 Mar 2011 23:33:43 +0000 malgor 63250@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Good spot. I've often noticed a similarity between the Stig and Nora Battie. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23294#post-63249 Thu, 31 Mar 2011 23:22:53 +0000 malgor 63249@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p><em>[sometime later, staggers back into room...]</em> Jeez, that slops cocktail ain't 'alf got a kick. Or maybe that was Jeni went she jumped the bar. <em>[rubs head]</em> Can't remember. Fuck knows what they put in that spliff. <em>[checks self]</em> Ah, thank God, still got my hip flask. <em>[starting to ramble]</em> Meant to tell Allmy, I've already had one replacement hip flask... <em>[falls asleep in room]</em></p> <p><em>[Elephant]</em> Git. </p> http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=23318#post-63248 Thu, 31 Mar 2011 23:21:54 +0000 ronseal 63248@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/ <p>Three old men sit around talking about the past, rage against the passing of time and end up careering down a hill in an out of control vehicle which ends with an hilarious crash. It's universally recognised as the template for an episode of Top Gear.</p> <p>But now the makers of another smash hit show stand accused of copying the format, lock stock and barrel. Producers of The Last of the Summer Wine have been accused of reproducing entire episodes of Top Gear. </p> <p>It even has three old gits. Only the names and the locations are different. For Hammond, May abd Clarkson, read Compo, Foggy and Clegg. </p> <p>MORE-ISH </p>