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Top 7 Olympic nations progress to ‘first round proper’ of Going for Gold

The top seven nations in the Rio Olympics medal table were celebrating today after moving forward to the first round proper of the popular quiz show Going For Gold. After a gruelling 17-day...

2
chrisf 22.08.16 10:32am
Wrexfan
PRINCE AUTOPSY REVEALS DEPRESSED STATE OF MIND...

because mum wouldn't abdicate on 90th birthday...

0
silly billy scotland 22.08.16 9:37am
silly billy scotland
Depression Epidemic Strikes Sober Celibate Teenagers 0
Jodster 22.08.16 8:54am
Jodster
Tom Daley crushed at Rio airport under mountain of Team GB coats. More soon. 0
gwhj2008 22.08.16 8:36am
gwhj2008
Jailed Extremists to be Separated: 'Legs go to Wales, and torsos to Cumbria.'

Home Office approves joint distribution plan...

1
silly billy scotland 22.08.16 8:35am
satire1
May: ‘Need New Energy Policy.’ June: ‘thinking.' July: 'Still thinking.'

October: ‘WHO PUT THESE BLOODY LIGHTS OUT???'...

0
silly billy scotland 22.08.16 7:44am
silly billy scotland
Battling For Opposition Party Leadership To Become New Olympic Sport 0
Titus 22.08.16 7:34am
Titus
Labour Ballot Papers Sent Out: Corbyn □ Smith □ High Court Appeal Judges □ 0
silly billy scotland 22.08.16 7:23am
silly billy scotland
Semenya to celebrate Olympic gold with 'shit, shower and shave' 0
baron la croix 22.08.16 7:11am
baron la croix
SNP, Greens & UKIP in 3Way Battle To Be Official Opposition After Next Election 0
Titus 22.08.16 7:05am
Titus
Olympic boxing judges admitted they voted for Brexit 0
baron la croix 22.08.16 7:04am
baron la croix
Chinese 'Too Busy Building Nuclear Power Stations To Train For Olympics' 0
Titus 22.08.16 6:43am
Titus
Convicted Jihadists To Be Isolated To Protect Them From Infidel Propaganda 0
Titus 22.08.16 6:41am
Titus
To Avoid Confusion, May Will Develop New, Clear Energy Policy for UK 0
Titus 22.08.16 6:38am
Titus
Brazil Olympic chairman wins gold medal for longest speech with most cliches 0
Renrag 22.08.16 1:19am
Renrag
For Russian TV appearance Lindsay Lohan demands Putin as rider 0
marlon bando 21.08.16 10:58pm
marlon bando
Christian Voice can't yet think why God let GB women's hockey team win gold. 1
dominic_mcg 21.08.16 10:16pm
cinquecento
US voters ‘shocked’ to learn Donald Trump has campaign managers

On advice from his latest campaign manager, Republican US Presidential candidate Donald Trump has launched a new ‘softer’ campaign slogan: ‘KKK for the USA’ “I really think we’ve come up...

1
farmer giles 21.08.16 8:47pm
Sir Lupus
Dogs no longer for life, but just for Christmas

To make the nation think twice about long-term dog ownership, puppies can now be rented out during the festive period. According to the Dog’s Trust, a canine can be hired for the wow-factor and for...

0
jonessgl 21.08.16 5:41pm
jonessgl
Olympic end coincides with UK erectile dysfunction

As Rio 2016 draws to a close, athletics fans will now have to resort to other methods for increasing blood flow. Self-esteem and 'todgers' are due to sag, as the UK abruptly ends its gold-rich diet...

0
Wrenfoe 21.08.16 2:34pm
Wrenfoe
Other mediocre male athletes ask "Can we pretend to be women too?"

Following the success of Caster Semenya in the Women's 800 metres, other mediocre male athletes have announced that they too will pretend to be women to give themselves a better chance of a medal....

0
YaBasta 21.08.16 2:20pm
YaBasta
Sunday Sermon: 'If your cup runneth over, it's time to buy a new bra' 0
silly billy scotland 21.08.16 11:41am
silly billy scotland
Future of unclear power station 'nuclear'

'It is fast becoming evident that the Hinkley unclear power station project is increasingly nuclear,' said energy consultant Brian Smythe. 'Unclear power is clearly the future. It's greener,...

4
nickb 21.08.16 11:26am
nickb
Amber Rudd deports herself in latest Home Office gaffe

Amber Rudd deports herself in latest Home Office gaffe...

0
Fergus Fungus 21.08.16 11:22am
Fergus Fungus
Farrah wins double gold for GB. Somalia accuses Britain of international piracy. 0
silly billy scotland 21.08.16 10:00am
silly billy scotland
Food banks to give out Olympic-themed meals

Food banks across the nation are embracing the Olympic spirit by rebranding their food parcels. A van in Warrington has changed its ‘soup and a roll’ to ‘Tom Daly’s Tears (with a roll)’,...

0
deceangli 21.08.16 8:48am
deceangli
Zombie knife ban to reduce suicides for re-animated Brexiters

A ban on zombie knives they will reduce self-harm and suicide in re-awoken Brexit voters unable to cope with their senseless vandalism of the UK. Stef, a campaigner for Brexiter support group...

0
Benvoleo 20.08.16 11:22pm
Benvoleo
Ryan Lochte ‘made honorary member of Bullingdon Club’ 1
farmer giles 20.08.16 9:31pm
silly billy scotland
Blackpool beach bans men wearing knotted handkerchiefs and rolled up trousers. 1
PeterB 20.08.16 9:29pm
satire1
Despite tight pants, Tom Daly flops after poor semi display

Team GB medical team too late to administer Viagra...

1
silly billy scotland 20.08.16 9:27pm
satire1