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Jubilant English erect statue of Edward I on Trafalgar Square's 4th plinth. 0
Ted King 1 day

"Why did you think we kept it empty for so long?" said a government spokesman. "Now we're free of them, we can bury that myth of Scottish fighting prowess once and for all."...

Might have to take a holiday soon says Middle East Peace Envoy 0
Robert Koch 1 day

Quoted yesterday saying 'After all that hard work during the latest war, i feel i deserve a break. I might need to prepare for a job advising Scotland. Not sure they can afford me, mind.'...

Newsbiscuit vows to defy election news blackout. 1
Boutros 1 day

A spokesperson for the topical online news agency 'Newsbiscuit' claims that its writers are avowed to carry on making up stuff about the Scottish independence election in defiance of a nationwide...

Mayhem as Ed Miliband recognised in public for first time 7
Long Distance Clara 2 days

There were confused scenes in Edinburgh yesterday as for the first time in his career Ed Miliband was recognised by bemused members of the public. “His entourage were completely unprepared for...

Scottish referendum rocked by 'NO' vote conspiracy 5
Squudge 2 days

The referendum regulatory body 'OffScot' today revealed that they have uncovered a massive vote-rigging plot by the Tories, intended to clear out all 'irksome' members of the populace from below the...

Scottish Referendum voter eligibility expanded into key new demographics 8
SimonJJames 2 days

With the Scottish Referendum vote almost upon us, the UK Government has expanded the rules of eligibility for those wishing to vote. With immediate effect the follow demographics are now allowed to...

Scotland decides: ''Aye' or 'Get tae fuck' 0
Ironduke 2 days
Result delayed as people who can count are hired from south of the border 0
Underconstruction 2 days
Northbound Traffic Update: Multiple collisions on the High Road to Scotland ... 2
Crayon 2 days

The Low Road severely congested. Hold-ups afore ye until further notice. Diversions in place. Beware of immovable obstructions when approaching central reservations. Use hard shoulder where necessary...

Scotland could become a Third World country says 'YES' campaign 0
Underconstruction 2 days

Let's GO FOR IT!!!!...

Will the last to leave turn off the deep fat fryer. 0
Ironduke 2 days
Scotland to decide...'What was the question again?' 1
Kevin the Swan 2 days
15-mile diameter flying saucers appear over Glasgow, Edinburgh, Aberdeen... 2
beckfordburger 2 days
Scotland Yard poised to rival Vatican as independent state 0
Coco 2 days

Metropolitan Police Service chiefs are blaming a leak for rumours that its headquarters will become an independent state should Scotland vote "Yes". The press office were refusing to comment on...

A plea to Scotland 5
Mandy Lifeboat 2 days

Dear Scotland, Tomorrow you decide your destiny. Before casting your vote, stop for one moment and consider everything you have given to the UK. Haggis, Andy Murray, deep fried Mars Bars, Irn Bru,...

North Carolina doctor opens funeral home adjacent to medical practice 5
thirdofnever 2 days

North Carolina doctor opens funeral home adjacent to medical practice, By Jon Dawson, When Robert Smigel decided to start his own medical practice in Kinston, he had no idea what...

Scots keep pound: Duke of Cumberland and Edward I to feature on £5 and £10 notes 0
Ironduke 2 days
Scotland to nationalise McDonalds after yes vote 0
throngsman 2 days
Love rat Salmond dumps Scottish Henrietta Haggis for English Sylvia Sausage 0
antharrison 2 days

The worst nightmare of SNP leader Alex Salmond emerged today after he admitted to 'Foolish breakfast liaisons' which have led him to him dumping his former love Henrietta Haggis, a clean-cut Scottish...

Russian Soldiers suspiciously holidaying in Scotland ahead of Independence vote. 1
Iroquois Pliskin 2 days

Hundreds of off-duty Russian servicemen appear to be on vacation in Scotland -ahead of tomorrow's Independence Vote, it has emerged. Large groups of shifty looking militia men in unmarked uniforms...

Isle of Wight 'on edge of seat awaiting independence result' 0
throngsman 2 days

We've checked and rechecked our pens, set up the booths and told the children to have a day off school,' said Maureen Waters while shuffling independence voting forms into a neat pile. 'There was a...

Typo means three main party leaders have offered to give more power to Hollywood 0
Ian Searle 2 days
Referendum outcome certain as poll shows 50/50 result for Yes 0
Bigglesworth 2 days
New penis device turns masturbation into power 1
farmer giles 2 days

Engineers in China have built a penis device that harnesses energy from male masturbation and turns it into electricity. Dr U Lai-me from the Wan-King Institute of Technology said: “The technology...

Scilly Isles may consider Independence if Scottish 'Yes' vote. 0
MrPhill 2 days
Prophet Muhammad detained at airport in row over passport photo - 2 34
Vertically Challenged Giant 2 days

Police at Heathrow airport have today arrested the Prophet Muhammad after a row broke out when he attempted to board a flight to Turkey using a passport with no photo on it. The Metropolitan Police...

Boris makes money out of thin air by charging £10 to look at the sky 0
irreverendJ 2 days
Prince Charles practises fencing, expects to inherit duel monarchy 0
Jim Garner 2 days
Flag being waved by Vivienne Westwood actually just a hat. 0
Adrian Bamforth 2 days
Prince Charles practising fence, expects to inherit duel monarchy 0
Jim Garner 2 days