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Knights who say Ni successfully deter Russian warships from British coastline 1
Jodster 21.10.16 5:36pm
Philip Green could also be stripped of his Philip

A parliamentary Sub Committee has secretly looked into the possibility of taking away Sir Philip Green’s given name as well as his knighthood, leaving him with the name Green and nothing else. ...

nickb 21.10.16 5:29pm
Britain to send remains of Dunkirk flotilla to Barents Sea

Great Britain is to show Vladimir Putin who's boss by sending anything we can float to the Barents Sea, the government has said. Michael Fallon said that "enough is enough" as Russia's Northern...

Iroquois Pliskin 21.10.16 5:27pm
Iroquois Pliskin
Paleo Dieters Gutted after Stone Age People Found Scarfing Vole

Hipsters, faddy-eaters and those for who developing a spontaneous intolerance to gluten wasn’t quite enough of a culinary ball-ache are set to have a good long hard look at themselves after...

S-Bahn 21.10.16 4:02pm
Moscow deploys fleet to protect Russian-speaking people in Knightsbridge 0
Smart Alex 21.10.16 3:08pm
Smart Alex
Pub landlords insist on dental checks for customers

More to follow...

apepper 21.10.16 3:03pm
Nukie McNuke-Face heads down the Channel 3
cinquecento 21.10.16 2:54pm
Ref Minor
Russian ships seeking Crimean War rematch in Channel 1
sydalg 21.10.16 2:48pm
Disposable nappy inventor buried in landfill

Innovator Valerie Hunter-Gordon has died aged 94, with her final resting place being under 50,000 metric tonnes of biodegradable ‘baby poop’. In a final act of irony, her body will be swaddled...

Wrenfoe 21.10.16 1:16pm
Sir Lupus
Horse party denies ‘trotskyist infiltration’

“It’s all a load of pony and trap” said a ‘neigh’bour “We are going to win this election at a cantor” said a donkey. “We are gonna kick ass” said an elephant. “With the name of...

farmer giles 21.10.16 12:48pm
farmer giles
Mazher Mahmood latest victim of 'Fake Screw'

Sun reporter Mazher Mahmood, today jailed for 15 months for tampering with evidence, has already fallen victim to an elaborate 'sting' perpetrated by Pentonville Prison's 'Fake Screw' Bill Carter....

Bravenewmalden 21.10.16 10:52am
Age of Calais child migrant vouched for by his five kids 0
cinquecento 21.10.16 10:48am
'Lesser of two weevils' tipped for presidency of Biscuit Marketing Board 0
cinquecento 21.10.16 10:40am
The sad tale of Abigail Gabble

Once upon a time there was a goose called Abigail Gabble. One day, she found herself Queen of the flock after the Chief Gander got into a fight about who really ruled the roost and was forced to...

Dick Everyman 21.10.16 9:38am
Dick Everyman
Russian warship passing through Channel seen flying "Vote Trump" banner. More so 0
Al OPecia 21.10.16 8:20am
Al OPecia
Sexual assault victims tell Trump: We'll accept the result if we win. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 21.10.16 8:09am
Al OPecia
Today Witney - Tomorrow The World! Lib Dems Sweep To Second Place

Labour party? What Labour party?...

Titus 21.10.16 7:30am
Man stares at tower crane without imagining accident

An office worker on his lunch break yesterday looked up at a tower crane without once imagining an awful accident. He is reported to have spent 'many minutes' looking at the crane, situated at a...

Bravenewmalden 21.10.16 7:23am
Jeremy Corbyn to turn off lights at this year's shutting down Xm as ceremony

The traditional British Empire Self Flagellation Service is to be conducted by Jeremy Corbyn this Christmas, with the mockney...

ronseal 21.10.16 6:42am
Donald Trump Calls Out Voter Fraud, Loses Support with Dead People

"People that have died 10 years ago are still voting," Trump said on Monday during a speech in Wisconsin, "Bruce Willis, Sean Bean, these guys have been dead for years and they're still out there...

Andrewnino12 21.10.16 6:40am
Lesser of Two Evils candidate claims victory in US Presidential Debate

The final televised debate, which pitted Tweedledevious against Tweedledumb, was hailed a massive victory for the shady Democratic millionaire property dealer with a dubious record of enabling sex...

ronseal 21.10.16 6:24am
Wife divorces high-jump contestant because he can only get one leg over 0
Renrag 21.10.16 3:30am
Witches back the break from Big Pharma

Covens across the country have cause for celebration this Halloween with the announcement that government are to reduce subsidies to pharmacies. Herbalists and homeopaths have been sighted...

marymole 21.10.16 12:11am
'Vote Rigged' Claim UKIP As Lab Romp Home In Batley And Spen, & Cons In Wintney

(Why should Trump be the only one with paranoid fantasies of vote rigging?)...

Titus 20.10.16 10:32pm
Ancient Athenian moves out to the Styx 0
Smart Alex 20.10.16 9:28pm
Smart Alex
New stock rotation system in venison store is a game changer 1
chrisf 20.10.16 8:46pm
Instant replay proves Mrs Redknapp crossed the line. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 20.10.16 7:45pm
Trump to accept result 'if I win'; advisers assessing odds of hell freezing over 0
chrisf 20.10.16 6:00pm
Redknapp's Wife injured during leg Rover. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 20.10.16 5:03pm
Al OPecia
Remake of M*A*S*H to star Kaley Cuoco and Johnny Galecki

The well-loved army comedy saga M*A*S*H is to be given a makeover. The prospective cast is to include Johnny Galecki as "Hawkeye" Pierce, Kaley Cuoco as "Hotlips" Houlihan, and Jim Parsons as...

Prime Mover 20.10.16 4:28pm
Prime Mover