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Amazon drone strike wins over Taliban leaders 2
custard cream 4 days

Early reports indicate a stunning success in what's seen as a unique contribution between American military experts and online giant Amazon. USAF Commander Chuck Hagen said, "We sent it a shipload...

Bansky-style stencil packs on sale up north in bid to push up house prices 2
farmer giles 4 days

A revolutionary plan to increase house prices in the north of England was unveiled today – DIY Banksy-style stencil packs. House price analysts have noticed that whenever the world-famous...

‘Pro-Russian Supporters’ Protest to Putin Against Having to Wear Balaclavas 0
Rumour Control 4 days

Despite the chance of being identified as a member of the Russian Special Forces, a person we will only call Igor has said [i]“Get it over with Vlad, it is too damn hot to be rushing about in all...

Simon Cowell's underpants set to rise 3ft by 2025 2
Robopop 4 days

Experts at the University of Celebrity Studies say they have discovered a rare human phenomenon that could see Simon Cowell vanish from our screens and engulfed by his own underpants within the next...

Russia insists Ukraine agitators are too slim to be Russian soldiers 0
Bigglesworth 4 days

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/74220000/jpg/_74220931_74220926.jpg...

'Dirty' Fuel needs to be replaced with something 'less smutty' - insists UN 1
Wrenfoe 4 days

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has published a damning report on how 'excessively crude' oils are corrupting the young with their reliance on 'salacious carbon-intensive' fuels...

Doctors to promote GlaxoSmithKline through Interpretive Dance 4
Wrenfoe 4 days

Following bribery and corruption allegations leveled at GSK, the pharmaceutical industry plans to promote their products through the power of ‘ribbons’, ‘spandex body suits’ and a judicious...

Piers was 'fired with enthusiasm' says kind job reference for ex chat show host 1
ronseal 4 days
CNN Reports - Tombola Outbreak About to Sweep Through Southern England 1
Rumour Control 4 days

The first case of Tombola in the UK has been reported in Bournemouth, it is thought that by the end of the Easter weekend it might easily spread to the Home Counties., Unusually, Justin Welby says...

UN Says Carbon Emissions Must be Reduced – Ukraine Told to Stop Burning Tyres 1
Rumour Control 4 days

The Pro-Russian population have been advised to stop inflaming the situation and the Ukrainians have accused them of providing a smokescreen for an Invasion...

Future CPS Sex Charges To Be Restricted To Only Old Or Dead DJs, Not Politicians 0
Titus 4 days
Journalists defend right to spout shit with ‘taped-up arsehole selfie’ campaign 1
nedge 4 days

Hundreds of television journalists have taken photographs of themselves with bands of sticky tape fixed to their anuses. The images form part of a campaign aimed at telling the world the relentless...

Government agrees to 'gentlemen's agreement' with G4S over being ripped off. 6
andyiong 4 days

Whitehall has agreed to allow G4S to bid for lucrative contracts again, on the condition that they 'don't make it too obvious' when they're defrauding the public purse of hundreds of millions of...

US threaten Russia with more sanctions, starting with the export of Disney films 2
James Pluside 4 days

Barrack Obama has stepped up the rhetoric in the dispute with Vladimir Putin over Russia's actions in Ukraine. He has confirmed any further threats to Ukrainian sovereignty would lead to drastic...

Jesus questions Harvard report 1
throngsman 4 days

A new report from Harvard suggests that Jesus was married, particularly because in an eighth century text it quotes Jesus referring to 'my wife'. Apparently irritated by the report, Jesus has weighed...

Beavers homes not as good as they used to be, claims damming report. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 4 days
Cowboy offended when not treated like the stereotype 1
Dumbnews 4 days
Lab-grown vaginas 'are nothing new', says Piers Morgan 0
Oxbridge 4 days
All of man's shortcomings exposed in his choice of clothes, says Psychiatrist 0
Dumbnews 5 days
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Dumbnews 5 days
Babies to be fined for crying in public places 0
SirCleft 5 days

It was revealed at the House of Commons today that children up to the age of 6 could be fined as much as £90 for [quote]crying, screaming and/or wailing in public places, including pubs, bars,...

NHS resurrection performance slammed 0
roybland 5 days

The NHS is failing to meet government targets to raise people from the dead according to a new report from the NHS watchdog Nicene. The finding follows recent claims of long waiting times for people...

Increase in the number of complaints about plot holes in British road movies 0
Ian Searle 5 days
Tamiflu last drug to be named after a country singer 13
custard cream 5 days
Do not miss the "All About Gods Show" 1
GreyWolf 5 days

From Arena Displays to a Fun God Show, All About Gods is packed full of fun competitions and games for your god. From spectacular god display teams to entertaining fun and games, the All About God...

Teacher Fails Student 6
bengedrink 5 days

Dayvon Terrell of Detroit, Michigan, was recently failed by his third grade teacher, Mrs. Deborah Leigh. "Unfortunately, Davyon did not meet the standardized reading comprehension benchmark," Ms....

Feminists demand Isle of Man change to Isle of Gender Neutral 5
camz 5 days
Delete the paedophile, not the photos, say experts 1
Squudge 5 days

After several days of furious debate regarding the retention of explicit material on a paedophile's laptop, a cleaning lady at an NHS hospital has offered a forensic examination of all sensible...

Journalistic talent wasting as Ukraine Crisis fails to worsen for second week 0
gaijintendo 5 days

Journalists are finding themselves increasingly sidelined as Russia's actions continue to be increasingly un-newsworthy., "We are dying on the vine out here." commented one reporter "Every day I see...

Australian PM running out of time to leverage more publicity from missing plane 0
throngsman 5 days