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Met Office warning of a 'warm Christmas' 1
throngsman 4 days

"It's probable that some areas are going to experience double digit temperatures over Christmas," conceded a Met Office official today. "We think it could be due to a warm southerly front or the new...

Gun-toting maniacs scared shitless by kids learning 0
johnnydobbo 4 days

More putting the mental into fundamentalism soon...

Buddist leader blames poor education system as he selects new Dalai Llama 0
throngsman 4 days
Taliban say schoolchildren 'potential moderates' in justification letter 0
throngsman 4 days
Wizzard admits 'I wish it wasn't Christmas every day' 14
Oxbridge 4 days

Forty years on from hitting Number Two with his infamous Christmas single 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day', Roy Wood, former lead singer of the glam rock band Wizzard, has officially...

Energy Prices Not Linked to Oil Price 1
Dun Dunkin 4 days

Energy companies said people expecting prices to fall when oil price has halved is 'simplistic' although they understand the confusion when rising oil price was used as an excuse to put them up...

Putin plays Rouble or Quits 0
Ironduke 4 days
Dismay as football match commemorating Christmas truce ends in punch-up 5
harrypalmer 4 days

A football match between the British and German armies played to commemorate the famous Christmas truce of 1914 has sparked a diplomatic incident after the game ended in a massive brawl. The match at...

'UKIP State' Threatens To Engulf Whole Country 0
Titus 4 days
World Is Deeply Impressed By Bravery Of Taliban Gunmen Who Shoot School Children 0
Titus 4 days

[OK, bitter sarcasm rather than satire, but difficult to be funny about this one ...

most wanted for christmas 0
peter fluck 4 days

Youve had Barbie and Action Man, now its time for ORANGEMAN., Teach him to talk. All the necessary accessories-fully working waterboard,shackles, clubs,electrodes and chains, complete with all the...

Jordan has secret surgery to make her bum bigger than Kim’s 0
farmer giles 4 days

Only days after ex-Page 3 stunna Jordan (also known as Katie Price) revealed her new smaller bust and desire for privacy, it emerged she has also had secret surgery to make her backside even bigger...

Africa Aware it’s Christmas 0
moosealot 4 days

Contrary to popular belief, Africa is well aware that Christmas is just around the corner. In a side street in Nairobi, Kwame Mbeki’s shop is selling cards and decorations. In the background plays...

Michael Portillo to board Hogwarts Express for Christmas Special 0
custard cream 4 days
Cambridge University admits it can't find Nano Centre 0
custard cream 4 days
Weird facial expressions do not improve classical music, reports study 0
jamsieoconnor 4 days

Smiling like a children's TV presenter on crack, mock-crying like a special-needs clown and making pained expressions that make it look as if a car has just run over your foot have absolutely no...

Celebrity Prison Christmas Panto Cast Outnumbers Audience 0
Titus 4 days

"[i]Oh no it doesn't[/i]...

Man builds don't panic room inside panic room 0
nickb 4 days
New National Holiday Special (1000 words) 5
head-in-a-basket 4 days

With youth interaction numbers plummeting, the Ministry of Defence has announced that next year’s Remembrance day is to be declared a public holiday, complete with music festivals and interactive...

FIFA fury as ruble crash leaves bribes halved in value 1
apepper 4 days

More to follow...

NRA 'really not sure how to play this one' 0
Oxbridge 5 days
Match Of The Day to Have 'Dive of the Month' Competition 0
Dun Dunkin 5 days
New SI Unit Announced 13
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 5 days

Jacques Bouillon, president of the General Conference on Weights and Measures, today announced the introduction of a new SI unit describing the degree of loathsomeness displayed by an individual or...

Hackers shamed as they return next Transformers film script due to embarrassment 0
Iamstillthestig 5 days
"Now then, now then how's about that then?" offer Savile compensation lawyers 0
maxey 5 days
Labour Canvassers Scared Of Encountering 'That Bigotted Woman' Again On Doorstep 2
Titus 5 days

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/labour/11293433/Revealed-Labour-MPs-told-not-to-campaign-on-immigration-in-secret-Ukip-strategy-document.html...

Secret dossier warns Tory MPs not to mention Gove or Hunt 2
Midfield Diamond 5 days

Conservative MPs have been secretly ordered not to campaign on education or the National Health Service because doing so could cost them the next election. A private strategy document circulated by...

New Bond Film About Film Hackers 1
Dun Dunkin 5 days
BBC Question of Sport to be shown until the sun dies 3
theinvisiblecitychannels 5 days

In an interview with BBC breakfast Phil Tufnell a “cricketering man” has attributed the success of terminal bore fest Question of Sport to the genius of decades of BBC scheduling. Rumours abound...

UN appoints Llewelyn-Bowen as Guantanamo director in surprise Christmas move 3
Iroquois Pliskin 5 days

Celebrity designer Laurence Llewelyn Bowen, has been appointed as director of the infamous Guantanamo Bay detention facility, it has emerged. The surprise move by the United Nations was confirmed by...