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New initiation ceremony announced by Harriet Harman to weed out the heretics 0
Amasulem 3 days

In further efforts today it was announced that the Labour Party will seek new requirements of those who have recently joined the party, or have become supporters in recent weeks. As revealed by...

Cameron appoints Who to search future for Chilcot Report 0
Hindari Banga 3 days
France Train suspect watched 'BBC' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 days
Jermaine Defoe's letter to Santa sent via Parcelforce 0
Squudge 3 days
Lord Chilcot admits that he didn't get the memo 0
Iroquois Pliskin 3 days
'Chicken-in-a-basket' announced as first category picked by 'X factor' viewers 2
S J Roe 3 days

Following the news that pop impressario Simon Cowell will allow X Factor viewers the choice of categories to pick for mentorship by the show's judges, the public have picked 'Chicken-in-a-basket' as...

A23 'unlikely to be chosen as London's 3rd airport' 2
throngsman 3 days
Gay Tory MP gets inflamed over accusations 1
Robert Koch 3 days

a nasty case of Proctitis indeed...

UK media unexpected tragedy citizen exchange rate latest 1
Underconstruction 3 days

1 Britain = 3.75 Chinese, 1 Britain = 12.20 Indian, 1 Britain = 0.85 German, 1 Britain = 1.00 Iranian...

Helmet cam leading the way for 'close-up' porn 0
Underconstruction 3 days
Harvey Proctor speech hailed as ‘Ben Elton’s best script to date’ 0
beckfordburger 3 days
'I'm sick of Footballers carrying Banjo's chasing my Cattle' complains Farmer. 0
ESJ 3 days

'It's the same every year around this time' complained Farmer Arthur Stumpskill, owner of one of Britains finest Fresian herds. It starts early August with the odd one or two, but by October there's...

Mumsnet thread: Am I being unreasonable to think mum-in-law is behind this? 28
S J Roe 3 days

BODENHOLIC: Hi all, I was awoken this morning to find a SWAT team in the house -apparently somebody had made a call to say a murder had taken place !! MIL has something to do with this, I just know...

Police tasered airline passenger with excess emotional baggage 2
Underconstruction 3 days

A 53 year old man from Northampton was tasered by West Midlands Police after boarding an EasyAir flight to Majorca without declaring that he is still miffed by the breakdown of his marriage and being...

Town planners have high hopes for Rhyl air show 0
throngsman 3 days

Following the announcement that the Rhyl air show will not be cancelled, further reports suggest that "additional vintage aircraft will be encouraged to participate" by town planners. "We've been...

All air shows to be replaced with Airfix modelling displays 2
S J Roe 3 days

The Health and Safety Executive has today announced that all air shows will now be replaced with live exhibitions of 11-year-old boys attempting to make a 1/24 scale model of a Hawker Hurricane.,...

Pathetic man only has 2 likes to his facebook life events 0
Dumbnews 3 days
China crisis proves boon for writers of '80s hit Wishful Thinking 2
johnnydobbo 3 days

More obscure band references soon...

Everyone who drives something for a living is a wanker 2
Alexispn 3 days

Bus drivers are barely human, taxi drivers are socially acceptable criminals, and train drivers are massive pricks, it has been announced today. Romford-based ex-racist Seth Harrison hung up his...

BBC announce Colin Fry is dead....still awaiting confirmation from other side 2
irreverendJ 3 days
Chinese recession will leave most families a little short 0
Underconstruction 3 days

More dreadfully cliched crap to follow...

New series of Blackadder to be set during the making of the first 17
Adrian Bamforth 3 days
Disappearance of imaginary Chinese money causes mass panic 0
johnnydobbo 3 days
Red arrows to perform future routines in car park. 2
Adrian Bamforth 3 days
Button sleeps with Schertzinger in airport 'Mix-up.' 0
Breadman 3 days

Jensen Button, the Huckleberry Hound of white-knuckle sports reportedly left his beautiful young model wife waiting in an airport limo on Friday, while he hopped into that of beautiful, nutty singer...

Govt has 'nudge nudge wink wink say no more squire' unit 0
Dun Dunkin 3 days
Stewart, McCartney and Jagger join forces to form 'One Erection' 1
Underconstruction 3 days

More limp humour to follow...

Trans-gender executive faces pay discrimination. 0
Breadman 3 days

It's not commonplace enough to find a top UK executive who's a woman. Geraldine de Poitrine, Marketing Director of Leeds-based Wealth Management Consultants fits this profile but through a somewhat...

Spotify says it won't re-imburse customer until he sorts his love-life out 0
Underconstruction 3 days
Every day to be given a colour 4
Dun Dunkin 3 days