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UK Border Force seizes mephedrone like substance, unfortunately only cocaine

In dust we trust...

virtuallywill 01.04.10 6:54pm
G20 police officer charged with possesion of a silly name.

I mean, how could you possibly take someone called Delroy Smellie seriously? Although, I suspect a couple of sharp whacks to the back of the legs would help...

AdrianJ 01.04.10 6:15pm
The All New Jeni B
Animal suffering on hold as Masterchef goes vegetarian

Leading cookery show Masterchef has embraced vegetarianism with a new logo featuring a carrot, it has recently emerged. Presenter John Torode announced his decision after listening to a copy of The...

Gary Stanton 01.04.10 5:53pm
The All New Jeni B
'Westminster Farce' next search for Lloyd-Webber

Search for next PM to be televised, Groundbreaking television for UK viewers say TV networks., Although televised debates are fairly commonplace in other countries around the world, this marks the...

edward hack 01.04.10 5:52pm
Old lags celebrate 20th anniversay of Strangeways roof protest

with a night on the tiles. Arthur Askey lives!-presented, before your very eyes, with a pre-scored 1...

ramblesid 01.04.10 5:38pm
edward hack
Caroline Quentin is less funny than Robin Williams, says study of over-rated cun

Damn, I ran out of headline space. Now you'll never know my thoughts on Robin Williams and Caroline Quentin...

StoopyDeGunt 01.04.10 4:21pm
Sock couple re-united 2 years after one left for routine trip to laundry basket

Scenes of relief and jubilation were witnessed in the Barry household in Molesey Surrey yesterday, as a sock couple were finally re-united. The pair, who were appear to be made for each other, were...

StoopyDeGunt 01.04.10 11:11am
curry muncher
Woman tagged after selling goldfish to 14 year old boy.

That's right-Labout can come up with far better ones than anyone on here...

twookey 01.04.10 10:57am
April Fool ! Newsbiscuit subber fools everyone with spoof news item.

Popular news site Newsbiscuit was the victim of an April Fools prank today after a member submitted a joke news article that wasn’t true. Embarrassed editors were forced to admit they didn’t...

MADJEZ 01.04.10 10:36am
Police criticised over failure to protect the public from advert

Earlier today a Home Affairs Committee inquiry has strongly criticised the Metropolitan Police over their failure to protect the public from the continued transmission of

Deimos 01.04.10 10:23am
Jesus banned from wearing cross during working hours. More soon. 8
thackaray 01.04.10 9:52am
Cash for Badgers

Short of cash? Simply put your old, unwanted or damaged badgers in the envelope provided and we will send you a cheque by return. Not happy with our valuation? Don't worry! Simply give us a call and...

PluckyMunky 01.04.10 9:31am
Reuters now seeking writers 1
PluckyMunky 01.04.10 9:13am
Peter Doherty and tabloid headlines reunite 1
Duncan Biscuit 01.04.10 9:09am
Just For Men regret mixup of models for new campaign.

The men’s hair colouring company say due to a printing error their usual before, during and after photos came out incorrectly....

MADJEZ 01.04.10 9:07am
Rail passengers thank rescuers for getting them home earlier than usual 1
Duncan Biscuit 01.04.10 8:45am
edward hack
Derby pensioners face windfall tax on Maundy money 0
Duncan Biscuit 01.04.10 8:40am
Duncan Biscuit
Over 20 people voice support for Tory tax proposals 0
Duncan Biscuit 01.04.10 8:40am
Duncan Biscuit
A pair of crutches found discarded in Longleat monkey enclosure. More soon. 1
thackaray 01.04.10 6:39am
Rejected Alton Towers ride ends up as 2012 Olympic Tower 1
brownpaperreporter 01.04.10 6:36am
'Ah Higgs, this is God, about your boson - April Foooool!!!!' 0
Ostsee 01.04.10 6:27am
What Fun! Making Life Miserable For The Downtrodden And Homeless.

The following procedures are already being followed by millions of your fellow human beings in minor positions of power: If you are a big employer be sure to lay off people rather than let the...

01.04.10 3:26am
Leaves warned over secondary picketing in rail dispute

Network Rail today warned all trees not to get involved in proposed strike action by the RMT. "We would like to remind all trees that secondary picketing is illegal." said a spokesman for Network...

chrissles65 31.03.10 9:54pm
Olympic Park to get tower to not nearly rival Eiffel

Boris Johnson today unveiled the plans for a tower that will provide the centrepiece for London’s 2010 Olympic village in Stratford. It is hoped that the structure - a 400ft White Elephant – will...

TerribleTim 31.03.10 9:54pm
Piss-poor Kapoor. Olympic sculpture unveiled.

Artist Anish Kapoor has unvieled the latest white elephant for the London Olympics. In the spirit of the event a 115 metre high half finished lump of steel painted in primer will mark 2012 as the 'It...

MADJEZ 31.03.10 9:53pm
Pet shop owner ordered to batter and deep-fry all goldfish

before selling them to children...

ramblesid 31.03.10 9:44pm
Leonard Cohen’s voice ‘could drop below audible frequency any day’

Veteran singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen has released what may be his last album before his voice finally drops deeper than the lowest frequency audible to humans, medical experts have warned. A new...

malgor 31.03.10 7:12pm
Anish Kapoor admits Olympic tower was inspired by prolapsed haemorrhoid.

Whatever you do, don't do a google images search for that...

the coarse whisperer 31.03.10 6:28pm
the coarse whisperer
Old queen comes out as straight 0
PluckyMunky 31.03.10 3:59pm
Ministers rejoice at the complete debasement of University degrees

Ministers today were 'absolutely delighted' that their programme of destroying the last bastion of academic worth in the UK was finally complete, with degrees now handed out to 'just about anyone'....

ED209 31.03.10 3:19pm