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High speed rail plan still uncertain if people would want to go to Birmingham 0
Duncan Biscuit 11.03.10 8:44am
Duncan Biscuit
Clegg wants £10b debt down-payment plus 60 monthly 0% repayments 0
Duncan Biscuit 11.03.10 8:41am
Duncan Biscuit
Northern Ireland now 'just another Northern cess pit' after Devolution

Local people and politicians in Northern Ireland are today struggling to come to terms with being 'completely insignificant' as a result of successful devolution. Gerry Adams said, 'For years, the...

ED209 11.03.10 8:38am
Nottinghamshire Police's ranking still hit by its failure to capture Robin Hood 0
Duncan Biscuit 11.03.10 8:36am
Duncan Biscuit
Bill Gates employs Mexican to be world's richest man 0
Ludicity 11.03.10 8:34am
Specsavers new beer goggles range has "specs appeal".

The leading high street opticians Specsavers launched their new range of glasses to a packed press conference yesterday afternoon. Named the “Specs Appeal” designer range, but known within...

Stan 11.03.10 7:58am
Police to be issued with beer goggles

virtuallywill 11.03.10 7:22am
[ TO LET] 14
virtuallywill 11.03.10 7:19am
Opinion: Are Protestant Children just much less attractive than Catholic ones? 3
thisisall1word 11.03.10 3:13am
BBC Foney Programme

The BBC’s report on the countries credit crisis had angered the men in the financial sector. The big bangs, loud crunches, trumpet blasts and massed melodica musical moans over the narration of...

OldThingy 11.03.10 2:35am
NASA in Talks with Budget Airlines

A cash strapped NASA has announced that it is in talks with a number of budget airlines to launch it’s Astronauts to the International Space Station when the Space Shuttle is retired later this...

Quaz 11.03.10 2:12am
NASA spokesman sacked after briefing that "it's not rocket science". More soon. 0
11.03.10 12:51am
“Building Blocks of Irony” detected as Collider Crashes

Scientists yesterday announced that the long –predicted building blocks of irony have been identified as a result of a software crash at the Large Hadron Collider (LHG) near Geneva, Switzerland.,...

chrissles65 10.03.10 9:54pm
Footballer tells post match interviewer first goal "not very important" shock

How important was that first goal tonight David? Er, not very important at all, Barry, in the grand scheme of things...

ronseal 10.03.10 8:50pm
Chile quake shifted cities west, and David Cameron even further to the right. 0
Ian Searle 10.03.10 8:01pm
Ian Searle
Losses caused by Northern Rock are of Titanic proportions 0
brownpaperreporter 10.03.10 7:42pm
Sports writers manage Man U v AC Milan report without mentioning Beckham

David is very pleased damn!...

brownpaperreporter 10.03.10 7:37pm
Parrot siezed by bailiffs was stool pigeon. more soon 1
Mrblacker 10.03.10 7:01pm
Hunter F. Thompson
Nick Griffin tells country "with me, what you see is what you get"

Oh dear (Hat tip to John Square)...

Scroat 10.03.10 6:57pm
Smotherset Care Home latest

Care home boss Anne Fetamine Albertasaurus is not a drug crazed monster insist defence lawyers...

edward hack 10.03.10 6:24pm
edward hack
House of Cards

Card building world record 'did not have planning permission' insist demolition squad...

edward hack 10.03.10 6:16pm
edward hack
'No Collider Scope this time' warn Directors

Directors from Cern, the Swiss laboratory responsible for operating the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) were left seething yesterday when it was revealed that someone from accounts had let the warranty...

edward hack 10.03.10 5:56pm
edward hack
ASDA cheap IVF offer 'will ruin human gene pool'

Researchers a the University of Aberdeen have expressed 'disgust and outrage' at ASDA's plan for budget IVF drugs. 'Shopping at ASDA is a symptom of a range of serious genetic diseases, including...

ED209 10.03.10 4:37pm
The Thrills to hasitly rewrite and re-release "Whatever happened to Corey Haim?" 0
simonjmr 10.03.10 4:29pm
Amy Williams honoured with royal “would”

Winter Olympic gold medallist, Amy Williams, is to receive the first of what’s expected to be many honours, after Prince Harry awarded the shapely Bob Skeleton rider a royal “would” this...

AdrianJ 10.03.10 4:23pm
Corey Haim misses Oscar memorial section by days 0
simonjmr 10.03.10 4:05pm
Dr Who to tour in a bus, Cliff Richard to remake ‘Summer Holiday’ in the Tardis.

Another one to be watched from behind the sofa!...

Ian Searle 10.03.10 4:04pm
Ian Searle
Brown denies budget will be an attempt to 'buy off' electorate

But hints that duty on alcohol and cigarettes will be slashed, and chocolate will be VAT exempt...

Scroat 10.03.10 3:54pm
Zadok the second
Missing 'n' from Roald Dahl's name discovered

It's one half of the McDonalds 'M'...

Ian Searle 10.03.10 3:30pm
Ian Searle
Letters discovered in which Dali admits surrealism wasn’t his cup of fish.

Morocco Scone...

Ian Searle 10.03.10 3:28pm
Ian Searle