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Israel apologise for airstrike on Didcot power station. 1
MADJEZ 3 days

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/76549000/jpg/_76549950_76549934.jpg...

Shiite Muslims massacred by shite Jews. 0
godly1966 3 days
Secret Cinema offer Back to the Future refund. Can be collected in 1955 or 1985. 1
MADJEZ 3 days
Land of Mordor to host 2018 World Cup 1
apepper 3 days

FIFA have announced that the 2018 world cup will now be held in Mordor. Sepp Blatter dismissed criticism of Lord Sauron as the embodiment of evil. "You really can't complain about Lord Sauron - not...

‘Time to Tighten Your Belts, You Fat Bastards’ says Eric Pickles 6
De-scribe 3 days

Communities Minister Eric Pickles today told the House of Commons that most Councils are “Fat, lazy, good for nothing bastards who should learn to look after themselves before preaching to others...

Audience member impregnated at screening of 50 Shades of Grey 3D. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 days
Blue Peter and Magpie Revealed as 40 Year Longitudinal Study 1
deceangli 3 days

“It’s fascinating”, says psychology professor Peter O’Hara. “The largest study of its kind. More than 20 million children took part and [i]they didn’t know. [/i] “The children who...

US electric chairs to come with "slow cook" option 4
sydalg 3 days
US to introduce border height restrictions 1
Wrenfoe 3 days

In order to combat the flood of unaccompanied children through its southern states, the US is planning to implement a scheme which bans anyone who still watches 'Sesame street', needs help tying...

Footballers more intelligent while playing find scientists 1
ionb 3 days

In a shock announcement today scientists have finally demonstrated that footballers are more intelligent on the pitch than off it. In some cases we're seeing move 100-200% increase in IQ states one...

BBC judo commentator admits to spouting random nonsense 1
bookiesfriend 3 days

The BBC has received dozens of complaints against 5-Live Sports Extra commentator Charlie Hill after it became apparent during the 42-year old's Commonwealth Games judo commentary that he was out of...

Hamilton carried on driving flaming F1 car, thought it was just Adele playing. 2
MADJEZ 3 days
Russia awaits Malaysian Airlines response after 8 hour truce offer 0
Adrian Bamforth 3 days
Farah absence from Scottish Commonwealth Games prompts Proclaimers re-release... 1
The Last Detail 3 days

Lochaber no Mo, Sutherland no Mo, Lewis no Mo, Skye no Mo...

Israel shuns peace deal in favour of a good PR firm 2
Wrenfoe 3 days

The Israeli Knesset has rejected the Gaza peace proposal put forward by US Secretary of State, John Kerry, in favour of a modest 12-hour truce - purposely designed to be long enough for Israeli...

UK welfare benefits to be paid in medals instead of cash. 0
Crayon 3 days

More victory soon...

GDP boosted by brisk trade in corporate tax avoidance and fat brown envelopes. 0
Crayon 3 days

More deals soon...

Hindu complains: 'Why is everyone ignoring the elephant in the room?' 0
Adrian Bamforth 4 days
Reformed Pythons to attend all US executions to determine signs of life 0
Adrian Bamforth 4 days
Mass Extinction 2
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 4 days

Vertebrates and invertebrates face extinction because of human activity, according to scientists. Nigel Lawson is still alive...

Commonwealth Games Viewers Hit the Wall with a Week still to Go. 2
IABP 2 4 days
Child rape victims urged to ‘spice up’ their testimony 1
deceangli 4 days

In a bid to keep judges awake during tedious cases involving alleged child rape, the Ministry of Justice has issued fresh guidelines to defendants. “It’s just the obvious stuff, really. You...

Dylan 'beyond disappointed' after hearing tambourine song 15
Bravenewmalden 4 days

In a song title that's finally come back to haunt him, Bob Dylan today experienced what it's actually like to hear a song played by a 'Mr Tambourine Man'. The verdict? It's pretty dull. It was in...

Agoraphobic benefit cheat’s therapy on Goa beach ‘Slow, but we’re getting there’ 0
beckfordburger 4 days
Games opening ceremony 'seemed like an eternity' said US death row prisoner 6
Scroat 4 days
Waterstones growing weary of teenagers ‘ironically’ stealing ‘The Book Thief’ 1
deceangli 4 days
Oops - double post 2
Smart Alex 4 days
Maverick librarian stacks shelves ‘his way’ 0
deceangli 4 days

Despite several disciplinary hearings and a strongly-worded letter from County Hall, maverick librarian Tom Flint remains determined to take shortcuts and act on hunches. “You can’t live with...

Politics 'Unfair On Anyone Who Looks Like A Twonk' Complains Miliband 5
Titus 4 days
Israeli Politicians Panic As Hamas Threatens To Stop Firing Rockets 2
Titus 4 days