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NiB "something else" man in u-turn shock 0
nickb 2 days
David Icke outraged at not being identified as a 'swivel eyed loon' 1
custard cream 2 days
Man with Arab addiction wakes up with the sheiks 1
Perks 2 days
Arsenal win race to be embarrassed in Europe. 1
Hooch 2 days

Fans of the North London club were celebrating the opportunity to be totally humiliated as soon as they play a half decent team in next season’s Champions League. They had been locked in a year...

Dissapointment as Ennis comes first on wedding night 1
Backup Brian 2 days
Barbie's Ken denies calling Action Man a 'Swivel-eyed Loon' 1
ginty 2 days
Time Warner sues Elstree Studios in prior rights claim 0
Our War Correspondent 2 days

Movie giant Time Warner has today filed an injunction prohibiting Elstree Studios from distributing further copies of its 1955 film "The Dam Busters", citing prior claim to the principle used by...

Gardener found asleep in hedge denies resting on his laurels. 0
godly1966 2 days
Free catalogue of errors available from www.gov.uk/ 0
sredni vashta 2 days

Download yours today...

Loyal tory Activists “to wear loon pants” 0
nickb 2 days

Conservative local organisers will wear skin tight, low slung brightly coloured flared trousers as a gesture of solidarity to the parliamentary party, it was announced last night. “This is the...

Marty Feldman distances himself from 'swivel-eyed loon' comment. 10
The All New Jeni B 2 days

Moron soon...

Victoria allows David to grab limelight by publishing a photo of him - with her 0
brianflan 2 days

More soonish...

Oxford 'blue up' pair spark racism row 0
brianflan 2 days

Two Oxford University students caused controversy after ‘blueing up’ as Smurfs at a fancy dress ball last night., Complaints were made after another student advised them to remove the Smurf...

UK puts on woeful performance in European block voting and song competition 0
ronseal 2 days
New EU regulation to ban Imperial drill sizes for trepanning 0
Not My Real Name 2 days

UKIP accuses European medics of protectionism...

Gay marriage decision cost us Eurovision say Tory faithful 1
Geraldine Wiley 2 days

Hardliners on the Tory right are saying David Cameron’s unequivocal support for gay marriage may have cost us any chance of winning last night’s Eurovision Song Contest., With homophobia,...

David Dickinson considers move to Ulster to join the Orangemen 0
Smart Alex 2 days
Fire service 'needs Transformers' 4
monkeyrepublic 2 days

Fire and rescue services would be much better if staffed by ultra-powered, giant robots, according to a review commissioned by the Government. Following seven months of careful research, Sir Ken...

British doctor invents cardiac microwave; read his heartwarming story 4
apepper 2 days

More to follow...

Homosexual couples want equal rights to have civil partnerships 2
Alfred Noakes 2 days

cos that's only fair...

George Michael hurt in M1 crash - Paramedic "failed to ask for autograph". 4
Al OPecia 3 days
Farage appeals for everyone to spell his name right - Farrago. 0
Maverick 3 days

. (Don't often see that word around these days)...

Beckham denies tears to be bottled for limited edition perfume range. 0
Ref Minor 3 days
African village adopts Angelina Jolie’s breasts 9
Yikes 3 days

Support for Angelina Jolie after her double mastectomy has reached all corners of the globe with the news that the Angolan village of Malu has agreed to adopt her breasts. Malu village chief Oongal...

Angelina Jolie set to make a fortune on eBay. 9
Maverick 3 days
Nation remembers Dam Busters, tries to forget name of Wing Commanders dog. 7
MADJEZ 3 days
Gove to double class sizes and sack thousands of teachers. 0
deskpilot3 3 days

"It worked in Victorian Britain and it will work again today", said Michael Gove...

Orangemen excited as new marching season transfer window opens. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 days
Lord Feldman denies calling Tory party activists 'swivel-eyed loons' 0
custard cream 3 days

Actual headline in today's Daily Telegraph - the end of satire!...

Eating disorder clinic opens all-you-can-eat restaurant. 2
sredni vashta 3 days