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Israeli lobby gets 'pot calling kettle black' award for criticising David Ward 8
RobArmstrong 2 days
England hoping Scottish Independence will put an end to Jools' Annual Hootenanny 4
bonjonelson 2 days
Prince Charles busted in 'Operation Poppyseed' dawn raid 1
Lenny Bee 2 days

Drug Squad officers swooped in co-ordinated dawn raids on the Royal Family today after removing a quantity of poppyseed cake from secluded Highgrove House, the Gloucestershire home of Prince Charles....

Pro Russian separatists scratch heads as two Ukrainian jets shot down 2
RobArmstrong 2 days

'How the hell did we do that?' demanded Uri Firtov, a separatist officer. 'It's not as if we've got any missiles at all, particularly none that could do that sort of thing. I guess a lucky pistol...

Doctors sell diseases to Patients in Massive Benefits Scam claims Government 0
Chris Turnbull 2 days

A government investigation has found that all diseases ever in the UK, have been manufactured by so called “llness dealer” Doctors, who have sold them to patients for £250 a pop, so that the...

Shock as Queen overheard saying "My kingdom for a spliff" 0
sydalg 2 days
Porn sites cause Eye Cancer claims Goverment Technology expert,more soon 0
Thundi 2 days
New Police Uniform Makes Them Look Like Smurfs 0
Dun Dunkin 2 days

"We got a job lot cheap on ebay. People will get used to it"...

Commonwealth viewers warned against drinking every time BBC mention London 2012 5
MADJEZ 2 days

There are fears that BBC viewers will be dicing with death if they attempt to down a shot or take a swig of an alcoholic drink every time a commentator says 'London 2012' or '2012 Olympics'. A South...

Cannibal who ate philosopher "just looking for food for thought", court told 0
sydalg 2 days
EVERY expense spared as Scots put on opening ceremony. 0
MADJEZ 2 days
Gerrard Explains England Retirement. "I'm Not Playing For England Anymore." 1
IABP 2 2 days
Queen's horse Estimate: "I blame myself for positive drugs test" 0
AReader 2 days
World Cup style TV screens to stream C.C.T.V. in British town centres 4
The Last Detail 2 days

The government has announced plans to install enormous televisions in the streets of Britain's town centres, streaming live footage from C.C.T.V. cameras. Following the popularity of the huge screens...

Pre-Olympic Legacy safe as public show apathy & disdain for Commonwealth Games. 3
MADJEZ 2 days

Just over two years since Britain wowed the world and surprised itself with the 2012 Olympics the population are returning to a pre-Olympic level of apathy. Before the opening ceremony in 2012 many...

'Internet used for porn' shock as new users reject obscenity filter 4
RobArmstrong 2 days

There was amazement today as it emerged that only one in seven new broadband users accepted the default 'no porn' setting offered by the big four providers. Despite a high level of government...

Chelsea ponder move to Moscow as threat of sanctions loom 0
cinnahmon 2 days

The mood at Stamford Bridge, the present home of Chelsea FC, has plummeted over the last few days as the spectre of widening international sanctions against Russian oligarchs threatens to spoil...

Glasgow kicked out of Commonwealth Games after failing drugs test. 2
Mandy Lifeboat 2 days

Glasgow, the host City of the Commonwealth Games, was sensationally kicked out of all competition today after failing a random drugs test. After providing a pavement urine test at three in the...

National 'Hug a Homophobe' Day not a total success 1
deceangli 2 days
Middle East TV to scrap "Homes under the Hamas". More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 2 days
Middle East Envoy Blair Wants 10 More Years To Cement His Success 0
Dun Dunkin 2 days

"I think I'm doing a good job"...

Birmingham children without correct kit made to fight jihad in their underpants 5
Adrian Bamforth 2 days
Tesco 0
JoshSpringer 2 days

Was Philip Clarke one of Tesco's Finest?...

Any one caught parking in Glasgow's 'Games Lanes' with go directly to jail 0
Ian Searle 2 days

Unless they can throw a double six...

Glasgow Council introduce hurdles to 'Games Lanes' as traffic calming measure. 0
Ian Searle 2 days
Mysterious plane circling London is Dick Dastardly still trying to catch pigeon 0
Ian Searle 2 days

A spokesman for the Police said, " Rip ping wobble wobble boing!"...

Russia in £500 billion UK arms order, £1 billion donation to Tory party 0
farmer giles 2 days

Following the order and donation, Mr Putin was told he could invade Ukraine if he wants to and poison a few more people he doesn’t like, but asked to try not to shoot down any more passenger planes...

Queen's Baton runner discovered to be on drugs 0
vulture1 2 days

In Glasgow, I mean, shocking...

Queen's horse in drugs sensation "beyond parody" say online satirists 0
Duff 2 days

Writers of satirical news stories for online spoof newspapers are in a right two and eight this morning, as it emerges Her Majesty The Queen's horse, Estimate, has tested positive for drugs. One...

Costa Concordia Found To Be Occupied By Pro-Russian Ukrainian Rebels 0
Titus 2 days