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Philae wakes up briefly to call Bono a w88ker 0
Underconstruction 3 days
gaijintendo 3 days

"My son has been an absolute prick all year, and is now generating £400 a year from the National Grid, or something."...

Man to sue Microsoft over abusive spell checker 0
harrypalmer 3 days

In a landmark case a Copywriter from London is taking legal action against computing giant Microsoft after the spell checker on his version of Outlook behaved in a threatening and abusive manner. 42...

Michael Buerk files his first report from 'I'm a Celebrity' jungle: 9
Adrian Bamforth 3 days

'Dawn. And as the sun breaks through the piercing chill of night on the camp outside the producers' hotel, it lights up the scene of a 1990s game show, now, in the 21st Century. This show, say the...

Sepp Blatter and Bernie Ecclestone in job swap experiment 2
patb 3 days

In shock news that has surprised both football and F-1 fans around the World, it was today announced that Sepp Blatter and Bernie Ecclestone would be swapping roles for 1015. In a joint press...

Nicola Sturgeon's vow: no more fishy surnames 0
Glen Morangie 3 days

Scotland's new first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, has vowed that she will not be continuing the practice of selecting senior SNP positions based on how fishy their surname is. Her announcement is...

Hunger Games III - exclusive preview 0
Skylarking 3 days

[url=]From the set[/url]...

Bono bike crash: 'I shouldn't have ridden so close to The Edge.' 0
Adrian Bamforth 3 days

Just thought I'd get it out the way now...

Bono's bike crash reveals God's wicked sense of humour 3
irreverendJ 3 days
We can't bear bare bears. 0
Wrenfoe 3 days

With a partially clothed Winnie-the-Pooh being banned in Poland and Paddington Bear’s new film containing ‘mild sex references’; the nation has been forced to ask – Can we bar the bears that...

Putin provides a guiding light for the masses 0
tomholder 3 days

Putin said "Let there be Light" and it was so...

Fat smokers more dangerous than Kalashnikov wielding terrorists, says report 0
throngsman 3 days

“We’ve carried out extensive research and can confirm that obese cigarette smokers are responsible for more deaths than Islamic State, Boko Harum and the Women’s Institute cake stand...

London East 0
gillie 3 days

Muslim communities in London are pleased to learn that if recent reports are to be believed, a London Underground on-board train announcement will inform passengers when their train is directly...

Michael Buerk leaves I'm a Celebrity after tragic death of remaining credibility 0
Skylarking 3 days
Kim Jong-un dreading nuclear test after ditching revision for Super Mario Bros. 0
Iroquois Pliskin 3 days
European Space Agency fines Philae Lander for negative TripAdvisor Review 8
pinxit 3 days

A tourist has been fined 100 Euros by the European Space Agency (ESA) for leaving critical comments about them on travel review website Travel Advisor. Mr Philae Lander posted the negative comments...

Facebook develops new algorithm to find why none of its algorithms work 0
Dumbnews 4 days
Colchester plastic surgeon said to have hung himself, 0
Jim Garner 4 days

Sad, sad. . ...

Ofsted put sports academy in special measures as pupils at risk of groin strain. 0
Crayon 4 days
Kim Jong-un tells UN "stop NHS human rights abuses before judging N.Korea". 2
Crayon 4 days
Youth stamps out penis fire: "The boy stood on the burning dick" 1
sydalg 4 days
Man gets personalised number plate by changing his name to G54 YBF 4
nickb 4 days
Band Aid Bono gets Band-Aid Bones 0
Dick Everyman 4 days
Michael Buerk enters jungle to look for marbles 0
Drylaw 4 days
Driverless car arrested for kerb-crawling. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 days
Mr Khan appointed UKIP Racial Stereotyping Champion. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 days
Tarantino confirmed to direct Paddington Bear sequel. 2
Crayon 4 days
Geneticists discover "human brain cell" in Justin Beiber's ear 0
Grunt 4 days

Specialists have discovered brain cells in Mr Beiber's ear. It is thought that the original cell became dislodged during birth and so could not develop normally. The cell has since multiplied...

Qatar to host The Oscars, Xmas Expo 2015 and Lucy Smith's 5th birthday party. 1
Crayon 4 days
Will self-driving cars be the future or a project too far for the journalist ? 0
Not Amused 4 days

no more soon , This really wasn't worth the effort, was it ! .. I am sure there is a joke there and one that Will Self has probably heard throughout his life !...