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Torture not on US New Year Resolution List 0
Wrenfoe 3 days

Despite years of promising to cut back on excessive water-boarding binges, the US is reluctant to add ‘torture’ to their list of ‘do nots’ for 2015. Like most people in January, the CIA’s...

Celebratory pies devoured as 25% of Britons qualify for free parking 0
Iroquois Pliskin 3 days

Hat tip to Titus...

Peru declares war over release of Paddington film 0
cinnahmon 3 days
Coral suspends Prince Charles betting account 3
throngsman 3 days

Mum's the word, wink wink nudge nudge...

US sending 1400 ‘guests’ to Cuban 'beach party' as relations thaw 0
Iroquois Pliskin 3 days

or 1400 US Diplomats arrive in Cuba via amphibious vehicles under cover of darkness...

'First Cuba next Cubism' Hope Artists 0
Dun Dunkin 3 days
Net Rumours To Avoid Shopping Centres This Weekend Not Started by Corner Shops 0
Dun Dunkin 3 days
'If Fat Bastards Are Disabled, Then So Are We' Say Thick Twats 0
Titus 3 days
Bill Clinton looking forward to ‘massive cigar’ 4
nickb 3 days

Former President Bill Clinton has greeted the news that Americans might be allowed to legally import Cuban cigars with delight. ‘I have had some enormous cigars in the past,’ he told the...

Don't send a Sony to Do A Man's Job 0
Dun Dunkin 3 days
Royal Mail Sale Was 'Second Class' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 days
Sony pull Seth Rogen film after protests from film fans 0
johnnydobbo 3 days

More unfunny bollocks soon...

Sony Crumble to International Terrorism 1
Dun Dunkin 3 days

release 'Jellyfish' film instead...

Bankrupt Man's High Blood Pressure Is Deemed 'Deficit Hypertension Disorder'. 0
Titus 3 days
UK fishing quotas to be scaled down. 0
Rotten Johnny 3 days

"Gonna need a smaller boat" says veteran fisherman Clammy Davis...

Russia Applies To Join Eurozone 1
Titus 3 days
FIFA Ethics Chief Resigns 1
Dun Dunkin 3 days

They stopped pretending...

Cubans celebrate finally being able to new second hand 1950s car parts 0
Scronnyglonkle 3 days
Rules for "three people babies" revealed - one on top one underneath. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 days
Chepstow Fills With Abandoned Children 0
Titus 3 days

Social Services, childrens' charities and Gwent Constabulary are becoming increasingly concerned about the rapidly swelling crowds of abandoned children found alongside the A456 on the approach to...

Church of England next Bishop to be 'a muslim' 0
Dun Dunkin 4 days
Twenty a day toddler tells health minister to "F88k off" 0
Underconstruction 4 days
Pensioner discovers identical snowflakes 2
Underconstruction 4 days

A 67 year old Bolton man has destroyed one of the last remaining myths surrounding Xmas, after discovering identical snowflakes on the windscreen of his Rover 600 motor car., Reg Smith a former...

Chaos ensues after Obama orders Cuba Libre at the office party. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 days
NRA calls for more guns and smaller government in Pakistan 0
Bigglesworth 4 days
Chilcot New Realease Date Out By Christmas 0
Dun Dunkin 4 days

Christmas 2030....

Taliban complain to Pakistan about inadequate signage for girls' schools 0
Adrian Bamforth 4 days
Universal Relief As Our Honourable And Benign Leaders Permanently Ban All Irony 0
Titus 4 days
Password complexity to overtake poetry by 2020 5
deceangli 4 days

Industry experts have warned that email passwords will need to be 'more sophisticated than a Shakespearean sonnet' to overcome the efforts of criminal hackers and elected governments. 'Limericks...

Taliban Orders Were To 'Only Shoot Senior Pupils' - So That's All Right Then 0
Titus 4 days