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Rotherham kids to be issued with bacon spray devices for self defence 1
pere floza 2 days
Pakistani Former-Celebrity-DJ Catholic Priest Denies Abusing Young Girls 0
Titus 2 days

'I prefer little boys' he claims ...

Police Called As Scuffles Break Out In Long Queue Waiting To Punch Galloway 0
Titus 2 days
Police investigating 42 million suspects, after attack on George Galloway 1
Sinnick 2 days
PM warns ISIS risk so great he will wait until after weekend to do anything 0
throngsman 2 days
You only think you're happy 0
Jim Garner 2 days

Five year, 100-psychiatrist study proves happiness in an illusion...

Scotland demand to keep threat level of their choosing. 3
Kevin the Swan 2 days
The 'Jeremy Hunt' Minister Droid Mk1 recalled because eyes too unhuman. 0
Crayon 2 days

More system errors soon...

Jeremy Hunt announces the Michelin Guide will now rate UK hospitals' standards. 0
Crayon 3 days

Even less CQC responsibilities soon...

Queen Steals Crown & Disappears - Buckingham Palace Denies All Knowledge 2
Titus 3 days

Government raises public's gullibility level to 'Very' 1
roybland 3 days
Apple Records lawyers force Brit jihadists into hiding 0
bonjonelson 3 days

An uneasy calm has settled on Mosul in Northern Iraq after lawyers acting for Apple Records, the Beatles' record company, descended on the town to issue a Cease and Desist notice to British-born...

GCHQ admits that, actually, it does know Jack 0
throngsman 3 days
UK threat level raised to 'stable door open' 2
Squudge 3 days
Labour Stops Beating About The Bush And Takes The Bull By The Horns 0
Coffeemate 3 days

Labour have announced their plans for a reform of Britain's Health & Safety Regulations, should they be successful at the next election. A select Think Tank has decided that Britain will be a...

Rotherham Council to celebrate Dalek culture 4
deceangli 3 days

Rotherham is to host a multi-cultural celebration of Dalek culture, as part of its commitment to helping the Dalek community settle into the town. “There have been some issues with exterminations...

Artist Buries 30 Clacton UKIP Candidiates On Beach - How Many Can YOU Dig Up? 2
Titus 3 days

Only two found so far more later ...

UK Increases Security Alert As Thousands Of School Children Return From Holiday 2
Coffeemate 3 days
Geordie threat level raised to 'did ye spill my pint' 0
RobArmstrong 3 days
UK terror level raised to "too fucking late" 3
Sinnick 3 days
BNP bury Nazi Gold in Folkestone, then call it Art when they're rumbled 0
MrPhill 3 days
Putin abandons attempt to reclaim Alaska 4
Jim Garner 3 days

Russia's president Vlad Putin last week ordered that an attempt to reclaim Alaska be abandoned, after learning that Sara Palin comes with the territory. Alaska was settled by Russians in the 19th...

69-year old quits making tonight's dinner after losing sense of perspective 0
Kevin the Swan 3 days
TESCO To Offer 1,000,000 Club Card Points To Anyone Who Buys One Of Their Shares 0
Titus 3 days
‘Horse wanking’ odds-on to be next big Internet fad 6
Robopop 3 days

As millions succumb to the tidal power of the Ice Bucket challenge, selflessly sacrificing their dryness in the name of charity, bookmakers have started offering odds on what the crazy, fun-seeking...

Overstretched snooker player needs a rest. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 days
Folkestone beach gold diggers uncover 23 mobile phones, 12 pairs of keys.... 16
custard cream 3 days

22 hearing aids, 1 false leg, 14 umbrellas, 343 WWII land mines, 67 walking sticks, 2 passports Any others?...

Cameron plans to seize UKIP defectors' passports 0
custard cream 3 days
Badgers To Support uk Caliphate If It Means End of Cull 0
Dun Dunkin 3 days
Foreign Office Has 'Lost' Treaty That Obliges Uk to defend Ukraine 0
Dun Dunkin 3 days

"We only keep paperwork for 5 years. It must of got shredded. Sorry"...