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Milan OAPs call Dignitas, learning Berlusconi doing community service with them 0
Skylarking 2 days

No more soon...

Silvio Berlusconi promises to 'give your Nonna a good seeing to' 0
Wrenfoe 2 days

Italian homes for the elderly will soon be visited by the 'creosote crooner', otherwise known as 'Ol' Gropey' by his adoring under-age fans and tax accountants. The former Prime Minister has been...

Dadsnet website suffers more debilitating version of Heartbleed bug 2
Adrian Bamforth 2 days
Moscow Airport Lav' Doors…. 0
Jesse Bigg 2 days

….Back to Cold War Easy Limbo Dance size...

'Help-to-buy' to be extended to cover rail season tickets 2
NewBiscuit 2 days

Latest leaks from Whitehall indicate that the government is planning to extend the help-to-buy scheme - which has allowed thousands of people to join the housing market with only a 5% deposit - in...

"Outrageous, ridiculous, absurd" - UKIP 5
Not Amused 2 days
Scathing TripAdvisor Review for Narnia 5
Ludicity 2 days

The magical realm of Narnia is in uproar today after receiving a highly critical review on holiday appraisal website TripAdvisor. The review by the Pevensie family of Finchley complains of awful...

Noise Abatement Society calls for all lawnmowers to be tuned to Middle C 0
Midfield Diamond 2 days

The popular pastime of relaxing in the garden listening to all the neighbours cutting their grass at the same time is set to become a more harmonious experience. Sonic environmental group the Noise...

Daily Mail seeks inspirational Hypochondriac to edit Good Health Section 0
Lenny Bee 2 days

The Daily Mail is seeking to appoint the UK's most innovative Hypochondriac to take over the Editorship of the 250 strong team that creates our award-winning Good Health Section. Here at Good Health...

Syria was sooooooo last year! 0
Wrenfoe 3 days

Despite entering their third year of civil war many Syrians are starting to look drab, unwashed and unloved in comparison to fashionable parts of crisis-torn Eastern Europe. Once considered 'quite...

Fathers unable to bond with their kids without shared Star Wars knowledge 4
Adrian Bamforth 3 days

A study of young parents has revealed that new fathers are unable to relate to their children without a shared knowledge of the Star Wars universe, with many refusing to take part in their upbringing...

Giant rat found in cabinet office 0
Underconstruction 3 days

Take your pick...

EU committee confirms sea 'definitely made of water' 0
RobArmstrong 3 days
Manning - Confirmed Placement at the University of The Sore Bum. 0
Rumour Control 3 days

Former Private First Class, Bradley Manning, now inmate 89289 (Chelsea ?) Manning has made a few major mistakes in his/her life, firstly by leaking 250,000 diplomatic cables and 500,000 army reports,...

Farage - abusing expenses is only way to be taken seriously as a politician 0
throngsman 3 days
Alleged Islamic takeover of schools 'can't be worse than Gove' 1
Wrenfoe 3 days

A Birmingham inquiry into a hard-line Muslims taking control of city schools, it set to conclude that a fundamentalist rejection of 21st century learning 'can not be more detrimental' than the...

Village thrown into disarray as plumber arrives on time 0
bookiesfriend 3 days

The small Dorset village of Fromley has been thrown into turmoil in recent weeks after a local plumber carried out a series of small jobs in a punctual, efficient and inexpensive manner. Many...

'Bloody men' responsible for 'Mumsnet' security breach 1
Underconstruction 3 days

MTF (I'm just putting the kids to bed)...

New animal slaughter laws "insensitive" to humans 0
Dumbnews 3 days
Pistorius's Valentine Message 0
Titus 3 days

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Why do you spend, So much time in the loo? Violets are blue, Roses are red, If you don't hurry up, I'll shoot you dead When I see red, Violence I do, To all...

Coulson tells jury 'I loved journalism so much I slept with red top' 0
bookiesfriend 3 days
Pistorius trial suspended in order to extinguish underpants fire 2
NewBiscuit 3 days
Rise in London Marathon deaths : DWP suggest unemployed take part 0
camz 3 days
'Germans' With Snow On Their Boots Build New Wall In Berlin To Deter The West 0
Titus 3 days
Ofsnack claims some take-aways are being run by radical muslims. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 days
Putin: Balaclava-wearing Kiev-botherers are Pussy Riot fans 0
Adrian Bamforth 3 days
Amazon drone strike wins over Taliban leaders 2
custard cream 3 days

Early reports indicate a stunning success in what's seen as a unique contribution between American military experts and online giant Amazon. USAF Commander Chuck Hagen said, "We sent it a shipload...

Bansky-style stencil packs on sale up north in bid to push up house prices 2
farmer giles 4 days

A revolutionary plan to increase house prices in the north of England was unveiled today – DIY Banksy-style stencil packs. House price analysts have noticed that whenever the world-famous...

‘Pro-Russian Supporters’ Protest to Putin Against Having to Wear Balaclavas 0
Rumour Control 4 days

Despite the chance of being identified as a member of the Russian Special Forces, a person we will only call Igor has said [i]“Get it over with Vlad, it is too damn hot to be rushing about in all...

Simon Cowell's underpants set to rise 3ft by 2025 2
Robopop 4 days

Experts at the University of Celebrity Studies say they have discovered a rare human phenomenon that could see Simon Cowell vanish from our screens and engulfed by his own underpants within the next...