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BMW admit they haven't fitted indicator bulbs for years - no one noticed

Car giant, BMW, have admitted that they haven't bothered fitting indicator bulbs to their cars for the past 20 years. "When we started fitting computers to the cars, we discovered that no BMW driver...

apepper 26.04.16 1:26pm
Musicians sound better dead

As albums of recently deceased Prince top the charts, replacing David Bowie’s back catalogue, it has become clear that the public only appreciate creativity when it is starting to decompose. ...

Wrenfoe 26.04.16 12:44pm
Sir Philip Green: let BHS employees work on my yacht

Sir Philip Green is to offer BHS workers who face losing their jobs new employment as deck hands on his £100 million yacht. The former owner of the department store chain said that he was inviting...

Daan 26.04.16 12:43pm
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Sinnick 26.04.16 12:38pm
Snow in London is "sign that the gods are unhappy with junior doctors" - Hunt

More terrible weather expected soon ....

Not Amused 26.04.16 12:11pm
Not Amused
Politicians accuse BMA of being 'political' 1
Scroat 26.04.16 11:47am
Obama Offered Jeremy Kyle Job after E.U. Meddling Catches Execs Eye

ITV have announced plans to offer hosting duties of hit familial quibble juggernaut Jeremy Kyle to president Barrack Obama after he finishes his term as leader of the free world. Kyle, who began...

S-Bahn 26.04.16 10:32am
Sun journos killed in press stampede outside Hillsborough inquest

Oh to dream...

Yikes 26.04.16 10:21am
KFC faeces the truth 0
Wrexfan 26.04.16 9:55am
Tim Peake Accused Of Not Treating Marathon Participation With Sufficient Gravity 3
Titus 26.04.16 9:14am
Bidding War Errupts After Idiots Buy £185 T-Shirt

A bidding war has broken out over the customer list for those who spent 185 British pounds purchasing a knock off version of the DHL delivery driver T-shirt. Retailers, sensing the opportunity to...

S-Bahn 26.04.16 9:11am
Man offered thirteen per cent pay rise refusing to take your temperature

Junior doctor, Simon Nookie, is refusing to take your temperature this morning because he can’t watch the footy this Saturday. With A&E departments anticipating serious problems across...

Gary Stanton 26.04.16 9:09am
Gary Stanton
Fury as business wastes money writing leaflets in several dialects of bollocks

Marketing director Tim Davies has been criticised for wasting money translating marketing pamphlets into multiple dialects of corporate jargon. One pamphlet, Important Changes to Your Account, was...

ronseal 26.04.16 9:02am
Jesus disqualified in Lake Galilee water-skiing competition

A red-faced Jesus Christ was disqualified yesterday during a Lake Galilee waterskiing competition when found to be cheating. The son of God admitted using his miraculous walking on water ability...

SimonJJames 26.04.16 8:10am
Philip Green bites shopper's foot. 0
No Beard 26.04.16 7:44am
No Beard
Filetting assets from BHS a British 'success story'

It shows the UK still has managers with high street talent adding value to their tax haven wallets without anyone noticing and all quite legal. Greed is good...

Dun Dunkin 26.04.16 7:18am
Dun Dunkin
Our Superyachts are not the biggest we could have got say BHS shareholders 0
Dun Dunkin 26.04.16 6:55am
Dun Dunkin
Gary Lineker wins Nobel Prize for divorce algorithm

Crisp salesman Gary Lineker has been awarded the 2016 Nobel Prize in Economics for his divorce equation. “The key variables are how long you’ve been married, how many fit birds you meet per week...

deceangli 26.04.16 6:52am
Farmers use web cams and dogging couples to diversify into pornography

Live streamed porn has replaced agriculture as the most lucrative industry in rural areas of Britain., The salacious statistics are revealed in a new government survey of income receipts at farm...

Wrexfan 26.04.16 6:52am
Trashing high street shops 'not rocket science' say enriched Directors

Remember its market forces...

Dun Dunkin 26.04.16 6:50am
Dun Dunkin
Tim Peake first person to find The DaVinci Code 'unputdownable' 0
Smart Alex 26.04.16 6:47am
Smart Alex
President Obama Roofied by Queen, Corgis Detained

The row over President Obama’s trip to Europe last week has contributed to US embarrassment, damaged the historical US-UK special relationship, and has become part of what White House officials are...

Gabby 26.04.16 6:42am
Vegetarian mathematician good at lentil arithmetic 1
Smart Alex 26.04.16 6:03am
KFC confirms discharge of staff respsonsible. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 25.04.16 5:38pm
KFC staff only fulfilling customers' ordures. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 25.04.16 5:37pm
KFC staff used Bargain Buckets as bidets 0
Wrexfan 25.04.16 5:18pm
BHS goes into administration, Jeremy Hunt says, "Dammit! One letter out!" 1
Ian Searle 25.04.16 3:36pm
British follow Obama into restaurant, say "You should definitely have the fish"

More honest trans-atlantic advice between friends soon...

YaBasta 25.04.16 3:28pm
People not like me getting all the work, complains unemployed actor

Unemployed actor Dave Dibley today waded into the diversity debate gripping the entertainment industry, complaining that all the actors getting work were completely unlike him. "It's just so...

YaBasta 25.04.16 3:25pm
KFC: "Well, at least 10 of our 11 secret herbs & spices are still secret" 0
bonjonelson 25.04.16 2:03pm