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Victoria Coren 'shocked' to find she married David Mitchell for his looks... 0
Tripod 2 days
David Mitchell "shocked" to find he married Victoria Coren for her money 0
apepper 2 days

More to follow...

Axelrod Denies 'Turd Polishing' - Says More Like 'Trying To Polish A Fart' 0
Titus 2 days
Jellyfish now UKs favourite animal says survey 3
Mitt Walters 2 days

The common jellyfish is now Britain’s favourite pet according to research carried out yesterday., The creature moved from 15000000 most popular creature in the UK right up to the coveted No1 spot,...

Pope adds PS to Telegraph letter 0
Coco 2 days
Putin to mark day 30 of ‘100DaysHappy’ with Ukraine invasion 0
Jesus H 2 days

Vladimir Putin has hinted that he may see in day thirty of his ‘100DaysHappy’ challenge with a full-blown invasion of Ukraine. The 61-year-old Russian President has reportedly been...

Alcochocs Sold In School Tuck Shop 0
Beer Sampler 2 days

The latest craze from America, chocolate bars laced with alcohol, has reached the UK, and a school in London openly sells them in its tuck shop. Headmaster William Wilson, of the Hemmingway Academy...

Teachers angry at online insults. The stupid idiots. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 2 days
Grim Reaper traumatized by ‘brush-with-death’ encounter with Moyes. 1
beckfordburger 3 days

An ashen-faced Grim Reaper was led sobbing from Goodison Park, scythe in hand, after straying dangerously close to David Moyes during a match which the United manager later rejoiced as 'the finest...

Thousands continue to starve over food-bank holiday weekend 0
bookiesfriend 3 days
Duke of Edinburgh hails Bailey's portrait of Queen 0
pinxit 3 days

David Bailey's informal photograph of the Queen released by Buckingham Palace for the monarch's 88th birthday has been described by her husband Prince Philip as 'frighteningly realistic'....

Fugitive with bounty on his head swaps it for Crunchie 2
nickb 3 days
Expenses scandal: Farage insists UKIP is 'Whiter than white' 0
antharrison 3 days
Booker Prize winner gives up writing to pursue middle management dream 1
nedge 3 days

The multi-award winning novelist and screenwriter, Kieran Henderson, has shocked the literary establishment by announcing that he is to put his pen away in order to create spreadsheets and do...

Life not so good for those flooded with "Life is good" status updates 0
Dumbnews 3 days
New app helps you find new friends by powering your smartphone off 0
Dumbnews 3 days
God expresses doubt about existence of David Cameron 2
Adrian Bamforth 3 days

Ruler of the universe God today declared in an interview that he doesn't believe in the existence of David Cameron. He later clarified that while he has personally seen no evidence of the party...

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Squudge 3 days
Ridley Scott announces: Bladerunner, the absolute no bullshit definite final cut 0
Maverick 3 days
Pistorius 'held in contempt' for rubbish Parker impressions 5
Squudge 3 days

In a dramatic legal twist today the trial of Oscar Pistorius was halted after the whole proceedings were judged to be 'frankly taking the piss'. The case was halted after Pistorius rather over-did...

Foodbanks in need of stronger tables says Trestle Trust. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 days
Celebration of 50 years of sport on BBC2 cancelled due to snooker 0
Adrian Bamforth 3 days
Redacted 0
antharrison 3 days
American film industry forced to own up to cloning of Paul Rudd 0
bookiesfriend 3 days

Moviegoers in America and across the world are today coming to terms with the shock news that the actor Paul Rudd has been successfully cloned. 45 year old Rudd, best known to cinema audiences for...

New BANKSYs spring up all over the UK 4
pinxit 3 days

This is meant as just a headline followed by pic Left Alert. Because of the set-up on NB boards, I have to pad out the first two lines so that the URL doesn't rattle out first. Anyway, here's the...

More records accumulated than ever since records began, say GCHQ 0
throngsman 3 days
Are failures in the crucifixion system enabling criminals to come back to life? 2
Andy Gilder 3 days
Archbishop highlights suffering at Easter - appeals for new hairdresser 0
Not Amused 3 days
Grandparents plead:'Please leave us alone this Bank Holiday' 0
medici2471 3 days

Many grandparents are praying that they will be left alone over Bank Holiday weekend., Betty Smith a 85 year-old gran of three and great-grandmother of 8 under ten-year-olds said:, 'I’m hoping to...

American schoolkids to learn words prefixed with ‘inter’ do not have silent ‘t’ 2
farmer giles 3 days

Some of the main culprits include: innernational, innerstate highway, innerplanetary etc (look the rest up in any dictionary). Loudmouthed Texan conspiracy theorist Alex Jones shouted at...