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Car fans don't want role model Clarkson in Top Gear team after speeding offence. 0
Crayon 2 days
Judge order Ched Evans to play for Sheffield United as extra punishment 0
custard cream 2 days
Children's vaginas to be re-classified as 'cars' to ensure police protection 2
deceangli 2 days

'Look, the public want us to deal with car thefts', said a spokesman for Sheffield police. 'We only have finite resources. The obvious thing to do is to reclassify the vaginas of 13 year old girls as...

Man of few words to receive long sentence 0
Sinnick 2 days
Ice cube tray manufacturer 'Delighted' to win race for irretrievable ice cubes 2
antharrison 2 days

For over 30 years ice cube tray manufacturers have been engaged in a race to develop a container from which frozen water can never be extracted - and today the UK company Pro-Plastic has been...

'We're running out of show trials' admits S.Africa Justice Minister 0
custard cream 2 days
Primary school teachers to check children's teeth, conduct random drugs tests 0
Andy Gilder 2 days
Samurai Worrier has concerns about falling on his sword 0
Smart Alex 2 days
Prison Reformers Suggest 'Wider Social Mix' For Prole Board 0
Titus 2 days
Pistorius amazingly takes moral high ground by criticising Donald Trump 0
apepper 2 days

More to follow...

China furious after Kenny G appears 0
johnnydobbo 2 days

Oh sorry. Some of the headline fell off. "to back Hong Kong protestors", it continues...

Canadian Extremists threaten rivers of Maple syrup, more soon 0
Thundi 2 days
NHS chiefs admit McDonalds vouchers to combat obesity 'probably a mistake' 0
throngsman 2 days
ISIS-ism Are Fine 1
KicknFishBCE 2 days

In light of recent events it becomes increasingly more important to address the growing threat that ISIS has become to the rest of the world. ISIS, one of the few self-sustained splinter terror group...

Ched Evans ‘Give me a second chance’. Victim not too keen. 0
beckfordburger 2 days
Irish senate vote to recognise Renee Zellweger after "new look" 0
apepper 2 days

More to follow...

Ryanair cancels plan to remove toilets from airliners 5
Jim Garner 3 days

A spokesperson for the airline, which has brought cost cutting to a fine art, yesterday denied it was going to remove on-board toilets and install extra revenue-producing seats. 'Sure and begorrah,...

Monica Lewinsky: I loved the taste of power 1
Jim Garner 3 days

More please, more ....

Ad urinam pedum off 1
Jim Garner 3 days

The cricket world has hailed Graeme Hick’s new coachong appointment in Australia with approval. ‘Hick was always a great team player at the county level,’ said Maj-Gen. (ret) Montmorency...

Asian grocer denies being Mike Read's Caribbean friend 0
Underconstruction 3 days

A sixty-eight year old newsagent from Slough has denied claims made by Mike Read that he is a Caribbean friend of the ageing DJ. Naz Hassan who was born in Bombay, claims that the DJ who was a...

Dyslexic Samurai author falls on his words 1
DorsetBoy 3 days

I've started a meme...

Dr Feelgood band member has baby-sized tumour removed 0
Underconstruction 3 days

For the headline alone...

Necrophiliac shepherd covers hit 'If I can't have ewe, I don't want no body ..' 4
dangerouswhensober 3 days

less later (hopefully)...

Defeated Samurai trawlerman falls on his swordfish 0
beckfordburger 3 days
Leon Britain cleared of ‘wobbly’ allegations 1
nickb 3 days

Former Conservative Home Secretary Leon Britain has been cleared of allegations involving wobbliness, wet lipped weirdness and having ‘sinister’ hair. Lord Britain denies covering up everything...

The Home Office to be redesignated as Westminster Paper Recycling Centre. 0
Crayon 3 days
Parallel world lacks parallel bars 0
nickb 3 days

A parallel world, almost exactly identical to earth, is lacking in one thing - parallel bars, say scientists. Observers using the world’s most powerful telescopes and interplanetary detection...

MythBusters investigate whether wanking really can send you blind 12
CollieP 3 days

Popular 'Science entertainment' TV show MythBusters have responded to suggestions that the presenters are just overgrown kids playing with toys by investigating more grown-up topics, starting with...

Dyslexic ISIS Spokesman tells reporter "We are just a bunch of SISI's" 0
LuckyJim 3 days
Superhero franchise tackles mature female issues with new Batma'am movie. 0
Crayon 3 days