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Scousers : Even we don't understand a word comedian John Bishop says.

Liverpool's population admit 'He's not one of ours, we have no idea where he comes from.' Embarrassed BBC executives reveal they had just assumed he was a scouser, although they didn't actually...

3
MADJEZ 08.08.10 3:37pm
FormerlyAlOPecia
Panasonic to build plasma TV targeted at parents

Following recent complaints that their latest 'NeoPDP' plasma televisions attract more small smudgy fingerprints than they used to, electronics giant Panasonic has decided to specifically target the...

0
QorbeQ 08.08.10 3:14pm
QorbeQ
Pakistan flood victims exasperated by ‘it never rains but its pours ‘ pun ! 0
BlackAndroid 08.08.10 2:56pm
BlackAndroid
Disagreement about acceptibility of the word 'cunt' mars otherwise good date 3
la maga 08.08.10 2:18pm
arrghgarry
Pakistan cricket team pray for rain 0
roybland 08.08.10 1:55pm
roybland
'We're all in this together' agrees sewage worker 0
roybland 08.08.10 1:49pm
roybland
World sauna event favourite dies having quoted he’d win ‘no sweat’. 1
BlackAndroid 08.08.10 1:38pm
arrghgarry
US declares fatwah against Scotch cardinal 'for hurting our feelings'. 1
Ostsee 08.08.10 1:31pm
arrghgarry
Girls outperform boys on GCSE and A-level results days, study finds

Girls do much better than boys when opening their GCSE and A-level results, according to research from Manchester University. ‘Girls far outperform boys in hysterics, histrionics and dramatic...

2
roybland 08.08.10 1:12pm
Scroat
Boy, 9, in accidental fruit and veg overdose

Nine year old Sam Ryder of Stevenage is in a stable condition this morning following an accidental fruit and vegetable overdose. His mother Aimee described the moment when a relaxing family...

0
Des Custard 08.08.10 1:11pm
Des Custard
Kids now scare each other shitless with 'Michael Gove will come and get you' 0
la maga 08.08.10 12:27pm
la maga
Teenager ignores peer pressure, heeds government warning passed on by teacher 1
la maga 08.08.10 12:22pm
Ostsee
Police corner Raoul Moat killer joke ,it tops itself . 0
arrghgarry 08.08.10 12:06pm
arrghgarry
Search for Raoul Moat killer joke goes on... 0
roybland 08.08.10 11:55am
roybland
Drugs watchdog warns casual summertime users to ‘be wary of cut grass.’ 0
SingingHinny 08.08.10 11:47am
SingingHinny
Finalist at the World Self-Barbeque Contest dies

The organiser said all the rules had been followed but the competitor had insisted on toughing it out on a slow rotisserie to a "well done" consistency A delve into the history of the competeition...

2
brownpaperreporter 08.08.10 11:45am
Ostsee
Pope Introduces "Cool Ranch" Flavoured Host

headline only...

1
pencilbox 08.08.10 10:42am
Golgo13
Editor returns from holiday to find website trashed by gatecrashers

Shock horror...

23
Scroat 08.08.10 10:14am
arrghgarry
Pakistan hosepipe ban to end soon

more later...

2
virtuallywill 08.08.10 10:09am
virtuallywill
Moon "too dry for life, but perfect for Gin and Tonic". 5
FormerlyAlOPecia 08.08.10 9:33am
FormerlyAlOPecia
Smarmy Dave Comes Up with Plan For a Race of Dwarves to Sweep Chimneys

PM Smarmy has come up with a new plan for a race of dwarves to sweep chimneys. This entails the abolition of free milk in infant schools in mainly poor areas of the country. The Tory plan being to...

0
Jesse Bigg 08.08.10 8:01am
Jesse Bigg
Internet becomes hive mind, starts plotting terrorist attack against Illuminati 3
la maga 08.08.10 7:56am
Ostsee
Existential GPS Tells You You're Going Nowhere 2
pencilbox 08.08.10 7:33am
Ostsee
Daniel Laurusso was just a punch bag ..Karate Kid the truth

Whilst the remake of karate kid airs around the globe a secret lay hidden only known within the hidden circle of the production team of The original karate kid. Director ‘John G. Avildsen’ takes...

9
BlackAndroid 08.08.10 4:41am
arrghgarry
What Women Want 2: short arsed hairy cross dressing wife beater, with Mel Gibson

The eagerly anticipated sequel to Mel Gibson's box office smash, What Women Want, due for release to coincide with The Xmas Heavy Drinking and Domestic Violence season, is an absolute belter,...

4
StoopyDeGunt 08.08.10 4:38am
Hunter F. Thompson
Crowd Mistakes Man Falling Down Stairs For Parkour Routine 2
pencilbox 08.08.10 3:51am
arrghgarry
Coulrophobia just a bunch of idiots clowning around 0
BlackAndroid 08.08.10 2:38am
BlackAndroid
Tories seek to boost struggling satire industry by cutting free milk to children

More soon. Thanks to JeniB for drawing my eye to it...

6
rickwestwell 08.08.10 12:51am
arrghgarry
Facebook crashes after outbreak of Foot and Mouth confirmed on Farmville 5
pinxit 07.08.10 11:40pm
pinxit
NHS Postcode Lottery : Last Night's Draw

I, P, 3, 5, 2, S. Bonus Ball P. (Guinevere)., There are 5 lucky winners, each getting a knee/hip replacement, sinus wash, dentures and a 3-month course of chemo...

3
pinxit 07.08.10 11:37pm
pinxit