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Cameron latest: Magna Carta deemed "overly bureaucratic". More soon.

Oh fuck it - "bureaucratic" is just won off those words i can't spel rite...

0
FormerlyAlOPecia 26.07.10 6:46pm
FormerlyAlOPecia
Cash-strapped Christine Bleakley has to take 3 jobs ...

First with GMTV, then the new Doctor Who assistant which allows her to sleep, time travel and still appear on The One Show...

0
brownpaperreporter 26.07.10 6:32pm
brownpaperreporter
'Oh, my God! Mum was right about everything after all' admits teenager

Michelle Watson's epiphany came just last week as she was celebrating her nineteenth birthday. 'I was looking in the mirror and suddenly I thought - 'Oh, my God! This dress just isn't me and Mum...

0
roybland 26.07.10 6:04pm
roybland
BP Boss offered Russian roulette.

More soon. PS this is a bit shit, had hoped to make it say. BP Boss offered Russian [s]role[/s] roulette...

0
MADJEZ 26.07.10 6:00pm
MADJEZ
'Lunch break creep' finally swallows both elevenses and 3pm smoking break. 0
la maga 26.07.10 5:48pm
la maga
Paul Gascoigne brings pork pies and beer to sort out Israel-Palestine conflict 4
Oxbridge 26.07.10 5:34pm
Oxbridge
Bear Grylls to get own talk show 0
LittleSpender 26.07.10 5:05pm
LittleSpender
Lifesize portraits of China's head of state to be placed in all Walmarts 0
Dumbnews 26.07.10 4:40pm
Dumbnews
Pre-op Paratrooper caught with his pants down.

Ex paratrooper Brigadier Boreham was behind bars last night after being exposed . It came to light this man was masquerading as a pre-op transsexual but was nothing more than an heterosexual sex...

0
BlackAndroid 26.07.10 3:05pm
BlackAndroid
Former Enron CEO expresses interest in working for BP 0
Dumbnews 26.07.10 2:47pm
Dumbnews
Opera singer admits, "I just get drunk and make it all up." More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 26.07.10 2:47pm
dominic_mcg
Ask whore for brutal back massage and save £1000s on physiotherapy says expert 0
ronseal 26.07.10 2:35pm
ronseal
Questioning L'Oreal heiress "Not worth it" say French police 0
rickwestwell 26.07.10 2:20pm
rickwestwell
Surgeons disappointed as face transplant man "frankly, still ugly" 0
rickwestwell 26.07.10 2:12pm
rickwestwell
Suspended Lord Prescott strenuously denies guffing accusations..

History is made as the Honourable Lord Prescott of Boats, Pugilism and the Common Peoples Right to Tripe is suspended from the House of Lords. Earlier today there was absolute chaos as the House of...

1
Sharpehunter 26.07.10 2:08pm
Pabst Blue Ribbon
Depressed AA man heading for a breakdown... 1
26.07.10 2:02pm
MrChigleysAunt
Government abolishes itself by mistake

The coalition government’s cuts programme has accidentally ended up cutting itself to the point where it can no longer fulfil itself, a leaked report has found. “The ‘bonfire of the quangos’...

0
Zadok the second 26.07.10 2:01pm
Zadok the second
Simon Cowell's new show to be the search for the Whore of Babylon

Simon Cowell has confirmed what most of the public already suspected, that he is the Devil and that his new show is going to be the search for the whore of Babylon. Bookmakers have confirmed that...

4
whickerman 26.07.10 1:37pm
arrghgarry
Eponymous Mysterious Girl 'not really that mysterious' admits Peter Andre

The media circus surrounding pop sensation Peter Andre since the break up of his marriage to model Jordan has gone into overdrive today, after the singer admitted that the inspiration behind his 1995...

1
jp1885 26.07.10 1:22pm
Zadok the second
NHS tells middle aged cat lady that her babies are obese

When Elaine Cartwright described her cats as her 'babies', she didn't realise that the NHS had listed Fluffy, Smudge, Kittykins, BooBoo, Yogi, Blackie and Tiddles as her biological offspring or that...

0
26.07.10 1:21pm
George Best Belfast City Airport to be renamed

Hurricane Higgins Belfast City Airport. Who's next please?...

0
greg various 26.07.10 1:06pm
greg various
War! Huh! What is it good for, asks presenter at new War is Great seminar

Wars have had a bad press, and they have many benefits, said the star speaker at the War-Ex exhibition opening at Olympia today. Tony Blair, once a prime minister, said he despairs at the pessimism...

0
ronseal 26.07.10 1:02pm
ronseal
House of Lords evacuated following suspected gas attack.. 0
Sharpehunter 26.07.10 12:55pm
Sharpehunter
Get rich rebranding old belief systems, advises New Labour brand guru Tony Blair

Tony Blair, Mr New Labour, made a fortune out of rebranding an old movement that looked doomed. And now, for a small sum, he want to teach you to do the same., He's launching his new Belief-U-Brand...

0
ronseal 26.07.10 12:53pm
ronseal
UK World Cup team secretly running Afghan war, lose control of the ball 0
Hunter F. Thompson 26.07.10 12:01pm
Hunter F. Thompson
CEO to be Tarred and Feathered in traditional BP leaving ceremony 1
Iamthestig 26.07.10 11:26am
Ian Searle
Ex BP CEO Tony Hayward to set up vegetable advertising agency...

Their speciality is plugging leeks!...

0
Iamthestig 26.07.10 11:05am
Iamthestig
Grace Jones Mourns Sad Loss of Black Box Inventor..

The San Fernando Times today revealed that Grace Jones has gone into hiding following the recent tragic death of David Warren, inventor of the Black Box. It is understood that Grace Jones...

0
Sharpehunter 26.07.10 10:57am
Sharpehunter
Black Box Inventor Plagarised Schroedingers Cat...

Recently discovered diaries written and maintained by David Warren, the Australian inventor of the 'Black Box' have revealed that he may or may not have used Schroedingers Cat in the early...

1
Sharpehunter 26.07.10 10:41am
arrghgarry
Animal protester who dressed in lettuce leaves is murdered by slugs. More soon.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-10757745...

1
dominic_mcg 26.07.10 10:29am
arrghgarry