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Scientists agree counting sheep 'best way to ascertain number of sheep present'

Studies conclude that, purely as a technique for quantifying the cumulative amount of farm animals in any given place, the age-old method of counting sheep comes out on top...

0
dicky37 09.06.10 5:01pm
dicky37
Big Brother abandoned as contestants can't be arsed to turn up

Davina McCall's excitement leads to first spontaneous combustion on live TV. 'A huge media coup' comments production team...

0
Scroat 09.06.10 3:59pm
Scroat
PM to fly new flag over Downing Street

Following the news that the David Cameron is to fly the flag of St. George during the forthcoming World Cup, he has also announced that he intends to fly the Skull and Crossbones on Budget Day....

0
micra 09.06.10 3:58pm
micra
World cup players wager meal on international hostilities

Wayne Ronney and Robiniho have entered into a wager that if international hostilities or sanctions are imposed during the World Cup the loser will have to buy the winner a slap up steak dinner in a...

0
simonjmr 09.06.10 3:50pm
simonjmr
P Dav Cam to annou extre budg cu 0
Iamthestig 09.06.10 3:06pm
Iamthestig
Twins mow down Edward and Laurence Fox in revenge attack 0
Iamthestig 09.06.10 3:04pm
Iamthestig
"Double Dip" great says nostalgic thirty something 0
simonjmr 09.06.10 2:33pm
simonjmr
Cuts made in budget to redecorate God's sitting room

Cameron delighted by heavenly prudence. Clegg says: 'I don't believe a word of it'...

0
PluckyMunky 09.06.10 2:21pm
PluckyMunky
England World Cup song sung "A Cappello" 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 09.06.10 1:56pm
FormerlyAlOPecia
Al Fayed claims immigrant's English test is a "fugging outrage". 1
Ian Searle 09.06.10 1:53pm
Ostsee
Daily Mail 'Maddy abducted by foreign urban foxes' theory 0
Scroat 09.06.10 1:05pm
Scroat
Mutes banned from minutes silence

In a step to banish insincerity at gatherings which include a minutes silence, sufferers lacking the power of articulate speech are being asked to stay away. This may also be extended to mimes, but a...

0
Bury Bob 09.06.10 1:04pm
Bury Bob
Capello goes crazy at photographer's after not getting his good side. 2
Basil_B 09.06.10 12:48pm
Basil_B
'World Cup fever' strikes UK, government begins needlessly stockpiling vaccines

Health Minister takes firm but misguided steps to 'tackle tide of sick days resulting from epidemic of World Cup fever, and reduce effect on British business'. Drug companies reportedly 'quite...

1
dicky37 09.06.10 12:43pm
Des Custard
Navy anti-drug smuggling unit to reclassify cocaine as Class 42 0
Duncan Biscuit 09.06.10 12:43pm
Duncan Biscuit
Sun Sub-editor Fired over "Foxy Twins Midnight Romp" Mix-up

Following an internal disciplinary hearing today, the Sun has revealed that the sub-editor responsible for yesterday's Page 3 article (Norman Normal, 19) had not demonstrated the required...

0
lord_wingnut 09.06.10 12:39pm
lord_wingnut
Hungry urban foxes to be paid for reducing refuse volumes

However they will be fined if they fail to poop and scoop after recycling Britains estimated one million tonnes of food waste. More later...

0
Nattie 09.06.10 12:24pm
Nattie
Photographer's check lost property as Capello loses temper with them. 0
Basil_B 09.06.10 11:19am
Basil_B
Police issue warning to parents of missing toddler, "Ready or not we're coming" 0
Ian Searle 09.06.10 11:18am
Ian Searle
Ron Davies Cup to be awarded for finding balls on Clapham Common 0
PluckyMunky 09.06.10 10:09am
PluckyMunky
Isle of Wight forget to end minutes silence

Embarassed council officials on the Isle of Wight are set to end a minutes silence that started back in 1897., It seems the minutes silence, held in honour of the then island mascot, a tortoise...

4
edward hack 09.06.10 9:37am
gaijintendo
Grief Counselling to replace Geography in the National Curriculum

"Subject lists will not be disrupted." a spokesperson said...

0
lord_wingnut 09.06.10 9:08am
lord_wingnut
Badger cull faces legal challenge from Ratty and Mole 0
Ludicity 09.06.10 9:03am
Ludicity
John McDonnell pulls out of leadership race to focus on assassination project 0
Ludicity 09.06.10 8:58am
Ludicity
Chuckle Brothers secure nominations for Labour leadership 0
Ludicity 09.06.10 8:54am
Ludicity
Those twins probably asked for it, says Anti Fox Hunt spin doctor

The leader of Britain's important anti fox hunting movement has moved quickly to counter claims that a fox savaged a pair of sleeping babies., 'Once again, the Tory propoganda machine has set out to...

1
StoopyDeGunt 09.06.10 8:53am
saltire
Prescott deported after failing immigrant language test. more soon 0
Mrblacker 09.06.10 8:51am
Mrblacker
Shock as newspaper fails to produce 16 page pull-out guide to the World Cup. 0
riesler 09.06.10 8:48am
riesler
Matthew Corbett arrested in bear fisting scandal. more soon 0
Mrblacker 09.06.10 8:45am
Mrblacker
Harriet Harman Launches Strident Missile

Diane Abbott Explodes With Indignation...

0
afternoonslow 09.06.10 8:43am
afternoonslow