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Stones cancel gig after Jeff Beck fails to return Ronnie's syrup 0
Smart Alex 2 days
Defections to Ukip put Monster Raving Loony Party membership at all-time low 0
bookiesfriend 2 days

Alan ‘Howling Laud’ Hope, Leader of the Monster Raving Loony Party, has confirmed that party membership has reached a 30-year low following a high number of defections to Ukip. ‘Ukip has...

Home Office issues strong warning over travel to Cuba 6
gaijintendo 2 days

"In light of recent political developments in the region, The Home Office advises any travellers wishing to holiday in Cuba to travel there immediately, before it gets ruined by Americans."...

Alan Moore "furious" over plans to adapt his anthology of adaptation critiques 0
Bigglesworth 2 days
Taliban Nativity players have glut of King Herods 1
Dick Everyman 2 days
British Army To Ignore Home Grown Battle Hardened Fighters and Prefer Women 0
Dun Dunkin 2 days

British men with proven combat experience in overseas conflicts returning from places like Syria will have no place in the modern British Army...

Greggs to fill prescriptions 'for certified obese patients' 0
throngsman 2 days

Obesity campaigners have applauded the European Court ruling that obesity is a recognised disability. "We've campaigned for years, marched for yards and held eat-ins outside Parliament," said Jacob...

Fears grow over man who actually believes he can win an iPad 6
ronseal 2 days

Police are appealing to the community to look out for a very vulnerable man who is thought to be at large and in serious danger. The man, who is described as "too trusting" and "in the contentclick...

Satisfaction All Round As Woman At Last Acquires A Bishopric 2
Titus 2 days
CIA smuggles "Special Forces Hairdresser" into North Korea. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 2 days
Taliban to demand protection from PMT Squads under Geneva Conventions 0
Iroquois Pliskin 2 days
Heroic bathroom advance halted as DIY man is repelled by ceramic slate irritants 0
Iroquois Pliskin 2 days
ExJihadists Forced to Play Candy Crush For Hours In Normalisation Programme 0
Dun Dunkin 2 days

"Playing online games for hours instead of work or school is a vital part of re integration into UK society "...

Church of England appoints first female bishop. 4
deskpilot3 2 days

Duties to include supervising youth organisations, liaison with Mothers Union, clearing up after services, hoovering, laundering altar cloths, lighting all the candles, cleaning all the stained...

Sony to fire film reels into South China Sea in retaliation 0
throngsman 2 days

A spokesman for Sony pictures stated today that the company intends to retaliate against the "unwarranted hack" of its computer system by North Korea. "It's the only way to deal with regimes like...

Disney Pulls Star Wars Movie Following Threats From Empire 0
smalley_smalls 2 days

In an extraordinary sequence of events, Disney has sensationally pulled its latest movie in the Star Wars saga from its release date. Star Wars; The Force Awakens, the seventh in the long running...

Returning Pakistani Schoolchildren Show More Courage Than Sony Film Makers 0
Titus 2 days
Anti-war protesters campaign 'Make lols not cyberwar!' 0
David K 3 days
Sex Education in Russia 0
Erickhen 3 days

According to the presidential children's rights commissioner, Pavel Astakhov, sex education will never be permitted in Russia's schools as it goes against the country's morals & traditions. He...

Dick Cheney: Literary Criticism 0
Erickhen 3 days

Dick Cheney had some harsh words to say about the Congregational report on CIA's enhanced interrogation techniques. He found it poorly written, exhaustingly verbose, literarily stale with too many...

Dick Cheney's torture report bash-line 0
Erickhen 3 days

To express your willingness to do it again:, In a minute, press 1, After glass of scotch and a cigar, press 2, After a round of clay target shooting, press 3, If you are already at it as we...

Churches expect a great year as ice bucket challenge revealed as mass baptism 1
SimonJJames 3 days

The Pope and various leaders of the Christian religions revealed that the summer's biggest charity event, the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, was in fact a mass secret recruitment drive for the their...

Model boatbuilder admits match-fixing 2
farmer giles 3 days
Russia forced to adopt the Pink Pound 0
Wrenfoe 3 days

Much to the chagrin of President Putin, the Russian central bank has confirmed that it will be investing its capital reserves in Pink currency rather than the devalued heterosexual Rouble. Finally...

No contingency plans for company Xmas lunches that fail to overun 0
Iroquois Pliskin 3 days

There are growing fears that millions of employees may have to return to the office later, after their work Christmas lunches failed to overrun into late afternoon as planned. Whilst the last ***day...

Women now equally free to devote lives to the service of imaginary hypocrite 0
Adrian Bamforth 3 days
Queen Growls Like Dog Over Abdication Bets 0
Dun Dunkin 3 days
USA Release Mr Bean from Bagram Dark Prison After 10 years 0
Dun Dunkin 3 days

"We assessed that maybe he didn't know anything like he had been saying since day 1"...

Buckingham Palace: Queen admits she's 'in it for the long hall' 0
Smart Alex 3 days
Torture not on US New Year Resolution List 0
Wrenfoe 3 days

Despite years of promising to cut back on excessive water-boarding binges, the US is reluctant to add ‘torture’ to their list of ‘do nots’ for 2015. Like most people in January, the CIA’s...