The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
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Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
Check the following links for info: Guidelines for writers, Writer of the Month, Help with posting.
| Topic — Add New » | Comments | Votes | Author | Freshness |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Daleks adopt the slogan 'We are swivel-eyed loons' | 3 |  |
John Wiltshire | 1 day |
|
A spokesdalek for the Daleks said today that they were proud to call themsleves 'swivel-eyed loons.' 'Forget the Conservatives,' said Dalek Sek. 'We are the original swivel-eyed loons. We only have... |
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| Gove heckled by head teachers ' it's your own time you're wasting' he responds | 6 | |
topfotogmw | 1 day |
| Home Secretary courts popularity by holding gay marriage in May garage. | 0 | |
nickb | 1 day |
| Mouthwash manufacturers to market "Gurgle Glasses" | 0 | |
nickb | 1 day |
| Home Counties opthalmic surgeons report increase in private work | 0 | |
nickb | 1 day |
| Swivel-Eyed Leader Of An Opposition Party Denies He Is A Secret Tory Activist | 0 | |
Titus | 1 day |
| Swivel Eyed Loons reform for Glastonbury headlining set | 3 | |
Skylarking | 1 day |
|
Eight piece 'anarcho-musical collective' The Swivel Eyed Loons are to reform for a one-off show at this summer's Glastonbury Festival. The self-styled 'cosmic jokers' say that they are 'chuffed to... |
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| Milliband Elected As Leader Of Swivel-Eyed Loon Party | 2 | |
Titus | 1 day |
| Clearasil's social cricket team accused of spot fixing | 0 | |
brianflan | 1 day |
| Newly-crowned Scrabble champion spends night on the tiles. | 3 | |
sredni vashta | 1 day |
| Kim Jong-un to mate with Crested Shelduck | 9 | |
Wrenfoe | 1 day |
|
The international community breathed a collective sigh of relief to discover that the recent military posturing by North Korea was all part of an elaborate courtship ritual. Despite his marriage to... |
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| SNP and BNP to merge to form a single party of Brutish Nationalists | 0 | |
ronseal | 1 day |
| British Soap Awards awarded most pointless event in the universe award. | 0 | |
theinvisiblecitychannels | 1 day |
|
The planet earth rejoiced last night after it was revealed the Intergalactic Federation of Galaxies have awarded the British Soap Awards the award for most pointless event in the known universe.... |
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| Thatcher Brain Scan In Lancaster Bomber Upgrade | 1 | |
Landfill | 1 day |
|
Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has confirmed that the UK's last airworthy Lancaster bomber has been fitted with a controversial software upgrade as part of a major cost-cutting exercise. 'In times... |
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| Way ahead unclear for swivel-eyed loon party. | 0 | |
raudus | 1 day |
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Majority favouring the left... |
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| Gay marriage opponents attempt to stop mandate | 2 | |
charlies_hat | 1 day |
| Hollyoaks now broadcast down under. Attacks on British expats soar. | 0 | |
brianflan | 1 day |
|
More reasons to whinge soon... |
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| UKIP angry over Olive Oil jugs removal. Popeye none too pleased. | 3 | |
weematt | 1 day |
| Increase in spam down to ‘excellent quality replica designer bags’ say experts | 1 | |
Vertically Challenged Giant | 1 day |
|
A marked increase in the amount of spam appearing on internet forums has been caused by the outstanding quality of replica designer goods that are now available, according to experts. ‘For a long... |
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| Eurovision latest - Bonnie Tyler lost in Sweden | 4 | |
Smart Alex | 1 day |
| Britain to introduce the world's first battery-farmed nursery | 10 | |
Wrenfoe | 1 day |
|
In an attempt to control costs while maintaining a "healthy" childcare ratio, Prime Minister David Cameron announced that the UK intends to lead the world in intensive battery raised toddlers. ... |
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| Eric Pickles denounces motorists for passing speed cameras at 29.99 mph | 25 | |
Des Custard | 1 day |
|
Communities Secretary Eric Pickles has denounced the behaviour of a majority of motorists when passing speed cameras as ‘fine dodgers’, saying they have a moral duty to man up, speed up and pay... |
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| Decorator misunderstands instruction to "Paint the door matt" | 0 | |
Smart Alex | 2 days |
| Relief for local residents as 'School of hard knocks' finally acquires doorbell | 1 | |
blacklesbian | 2 days |
| Google Glass found to be able to see through tax loopholes | 0 | |
brianflan | 2 days |
|
More obvious targets soon... |
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| "I heard him not saying it" claims Schapps. | 1 | |
nickb | 2 days |
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Co-chairman of the conservative party Grants Schapps said he was in the room and "in perfect earshot" when he heard Lord Feldman not call activists of his party "swivel eyed loons". "I distinctly... |
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| "Yahoo to buy over-priced drink's glass for $1.1bn due to clerical error" | 1 | |
Wrenfoe | 2 days |
|
More later... |
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| NiB "something else" man in u-turn shock | 0 | |
nickb | 2 days |
| David Icke outraged at not being identified as a 'swivel eyed loon' | 1 | |
custard cream | 2 days |
| Man with Arab addiction wakes up with the sheiks | 1 | |
Perks | 2 days |
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