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American Dentists to Be Charged $500 Per Day To Defend Channel Tunnel 2
Titus 2 days
American who poached lion found it a little rare 1
Underconstruction 2 days
Tunnel crisis to delay EU vote 0
Dun Dunkin 2 days
French enjoying making Cameron squirm over migrants 0
Dun Dunkin 2 days
Tunnel to be walled up in new 'Battle of Britain' 0
Dun Dunkin 2 days
Tudor-era dispute over Calais renewed — ‘It’s yours!’ ‘Non non, c’est á vous!’ 0
Renrag 2 days
Sewel Regarded As 'Less Toxic' Than Corbyn As Labour Leadership Candidate 5
Titus 2 days

Punters expected to prefer randy coke-snorting old lord to puritanical old socialist ...

French army surrender to tunnel migrants. 1
MADJEZ 2 days
Top Gear hosts sign Amazon deal. Great news for Netflix and Blinkbox customers. 0
dominic_mcg 2 days
Apprentice contestant found dead. Cancer cure may be delayed. 0
MADJEZ 2 days

Unfortunately more pseudo-celebrity news soon...

Wasps to undergo PR make-over 7
SamSmith 2 days

The ubiquitous summer ruiners are to get a completely new image in a move that’s shocked the animal kingdom. “Up until now, they’ve always chosen to focus on the bad things”, said Brian the...

Daddy saved my pet labrador from drowning, says dentist’s daughter. More PR soon 0
beckfordburger 2 days
Amazon overjoyed to find something it can use in BBC's bins 0
YaBasta 2 days

Top Amazon executives today described the BBC as "wasteful", citing the amount of "perfectly good, only slighty-soiled" items they claimed to have found in the bins round the back of Television...

Walter Palmer voted "world's most aptly-named dentist" 1
sydalg 2 days
Dentist who didn't shoot Robert Mugabe answers his critics 0
sydalg 2 days
Expert says member of species Dentist Sadisticus failed to mate 0
S J Roe 2 days

A conservationist is certain that the member of the species Dentist Sadisticus that killed a lion in Zimbabwe this week failed to mate. The creature-closely related to the species Dentist...

Islamic clerics baffled by expression "to get mullahed" 2
YaBasta 2 days

A group of hardline Islamic clerics, or "mullahs", have responded with bafflement and not a little annoyance to the discovery that Brits use the expression "mullahed" to mean hopelessly and...

Nelson's arm washed up in Tenerife 1
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 2 days
Swarms to come in floods 1
Dun Dunkin 2 days
Stand-off in Channel tunnel as Dover Bowls Club members attempt to storm Calais 0
Underconstruction 2 days

French riot police have temporarily restored order after members of a Kent Green Bowling Club attempted to storm the port of Calais to buy Ernest Gallo rose wine, discounted soap powder and...

'Great Britain' to be renamed 'Britain' to deter migrants 0
Underconstruction 2 days
British winos storm Channel Tunnel 0
Adrian Bamforth 2 days

Winos, alcoholics and lovers of European lagers have stormed the Channel Tunnel in their hundreds today in a desperate bid to get into France, having crossed several counties and hundreds of pubs,...

Calais-Uk to insist that a better life is for the few and not the many 0
Dun Dunkin 2 days
'Keep Calm and offer migrants cup of tea' Govt tells Kent 0
Dun Dunkin 2 days
Gangs of 100s of machete waving migrants walk at will thru tunnel 0
Dun Dunkin 2 days
Brrr - it's turning to autumn, says your wife, still in bloody July 18
Oxbridge 3 days

There is a bit of an autumn chill in the air, according to your wife, who has chosen the moment to launch you into an annual spiral of depression with uncanny accuracy once again. Your wife has a...

Windows releases an update for Amstrad’s CPC 464 3
Wrenfoe 3 days

In response to customer feedback, the much vaunted launch of Windows 10 is going to be superseded with an operating platform that is reliable, easy to navigate and can play ‘Chuckie Egg’. Rather...

Lion killer's seal clubbing trip causes twitter storm. Claims 'it's all legal' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 days
Anthropologist's frustrated wife seeks Homo erectus 0
Renrag 3 days
Super-Calais-Fragile-Logistics-Expats-Are-Attrocious 5
Idiot 3 days

Maybe a couple of days too late...