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Owen Jones pledges to enter puberty when Labour wins an election

Croaky voiced political journalist and celebrity tweeter today promised to finally enter puberty when the Labour Party wins a general election and Jeremy Corbin becomes Prime Minister., ‘’I...

2
NeilD 21.06.18 12:22pm
cinquecento
Ofsted chief insists children use flag semaphore instead of phones

In a crackdown on mobile phone usage, Amanda Spielman has said that students need traditional forms of communication – such as a fax, pagers or a typewriter tied to their wrist. Phones are an...

1
Wrenfoe 21.06.18 11:59am
sydalg
Spinal Tap's Summer Solstice appearance ends in chaos and bloodshed

Thousands of fans of the legendary 1970s Prog Rock sensations, Spinal Tap, have been left stunned and furious after packing into Wiltshire's Stonehenge Monument at 3.30am this morning to see a...

0
Chipchase 21.06.18 9:59am
Chipchase
Trump reverses migrant policy, forcing childless couples to adopt, then be split

'The Trump administration has admitted that we got this policy wrong,' said a Whitehouse spokesman today, noting that the decision to split migrant families at the border was an Obama policy that was...

0
throngsman 21.06.18 8:55am
throngsman
Path cleared for England's heart-warming defeat in quarter finals

England football fans are reportedly delighted not just at securing a late win against mighty Tunisia in the World Cup but also at the prospect of enjoying a chaotic stumbling through four matches...

0
Oxbridge 21.06.18 8:55am
Oxbridge
Masculinists Outraged At Slow Progress Towards Equality In Childbearing

More apalling discrimination soon ...

0
Titus 21.06.18 8:48am
Titus
Gareth Southgate dislocates shoulder patting himself on the back after win. 2
dominic_mcg 21.06.18 7:57am
Wrenfoe
Government urges people breathe out more than in to solve CO2 shortage 2
sydalg 21.06.18 7:56am
Wrenfoe
Trump hoping to train a new generation of cage fighters

The President’s controversial policy of separating migrant children from their parents and keeping them in cages, has been fully supported by the mixed martial-arts fraternity and the makers of...

6
Wrenfoe 21.06.18 7:55am
Wrenfoe
NHS Critics To Be Treated With Opiates

Less (fewer?) later ...

0
Titus 21.06.18 7:04am
Titus
Anti-GM Campaigners Claim That Pigs Are MEANT To Suffer Viral Infection 1
Titus 21.06.18 6:58am
Titus
Larry not that happy anymore.

Not since he got married...

0
Maverick 21.06.18 6:44am
Maverick
Friends Of Green Earthpiece Blamed For Shortage Of Carbon Dioxide 0
Titus 20.06.18 10:24pm
Titus
Smoke Canada Dry. 0
ron cawleyoni 20.06.18 9:41pm
ron cawleyoni
Uber drug mule service gets off to slow start

Managers of the offshoot of the taxi company insist there will be a huge uptake for their service soon, once self-employed couriers overcome their initial reluctance . "We know there are narcos out...

3
sydalg 20.06.18 8:52pm
Macattack1964
TSB Manages To Muddle Food Banks, Blood Banks & Gordon Banks

Hat-tip to Macattack1964 ...

1
Titus 20.06.18 8:51pm
Macattack1964
BoJo Dismisses Bank Branch Closure Concern, Pointing To The Growth Of Food Banks

Reports have suggested that Banks are closing branches at the rate of an alarming 60 per month. Approximately, 2868 branches have been closed in the period between 2015 and 2018. Boris Johnson,...

2
Macattack1964 20.06.18 8:50pm
Macattack1964
Trump signs order to end migrant separation and orders some bigger cages. 0
dominic_mcg 20.06.18 7:29pm
dominic_mcg
Heineken's CO2 shortage means Carlsberg is the best lager in the world. 0
dominic_mcg 20.06.18 7:25pm
dominic_mcg
Raymond Chandler writes hard-boiled version of Humpty Dumpty 0
sydalg 20.06.18 5:59pm
sydalg
Samuel Beckett website moves to go.uk 0
sydalg 20.06.18 5:57pm
sydalg
Saudi thief shot after failing to "keep your hands where I can see them" 0
sydalg 20.06.18 5:56pm
sydalg
Stella Artois production hit by shortage of rat piss 0
bonjonelson 20.06.18 5:35pm
bonjonelson
Lord Sugar caught up in sandstorm.

Hat tip to myselfHa ha...

0
ron cawleyoni 20.06.18 5:33pm
ron cawleyoni
Lord Sugar & The Hoff to enter 'Baywatch' team at Qatar World Cup 2022.

More sandstorms soon...

0
ron cawleyoni 20.06.18 5:25pm
ron cawleyoni
Trump decides to stop being a c**t immediately by executive order. 0
ron cawleyoni 20.06.18 5:19pm
ron cawleyoni
Bat-wielding schoolkids stand by and watch whilst parents’ brawl fizzles out 0
DavidH 20.06.18 4:05pm
DavidH
Metal detectorists discover Hadrian’s Wall initially destroyed by metal diviners 0
DavidH 20.06.18 4:04pm
DavidH
CO2 shortage forces World Cup landlords into tailpiping Audis to lager pumps 0
DavidH 20.06.18 4:03pm
DavidH
Gyms to go vat-free but tax 20% for wearing lycra 0
DavidH 20.06.18 4:03pm
DavidH