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Village thrown into disarray as plumber arrives on time 0
bookiesfriend 2 days

The small Dorset village of Fromley has been thrown into turmoil in recent weeks after a local plumber carried out a series of small jobs in a punctual, efficient and inexpensive manner. Many...

'Bloody men' responsible for 'Mumsnet' security breach 1
Underconstruction 2 days

MTF (I'm just putting the kids to bed)...

New animal slaughter laws "insensitive" to humans 0
Dumbnews 2 days
Pistorius's Valentine Message 0
Titus 2 days

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Why do you spend, So much time in the loo? Violets are blue, Roses are red, If you don't hurry up, I'll shoot you dead When I see red, Violence I do, To all...

Coulson tells jury 'I loved journalism so much I slept with red top' 0
bookiesfriend 2 days
Pistorius trial suspended in order to extinguish underpants fire 2
NewBiscuit 2 days
Rise in London Marathon deaths : DWP suggest unemployed take part 0
camz 2 days
'Germans' With Snow On Their Boots Build New Wall In Berlin To Deter The West 0
Titus 2 days
Ofsnack claims some take-aways are being run by radical muslims. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 2 days
Putin: Balaclava-wearing Kiev-botherers are Pussy Riot fans 0
Adrian Bamforth 2 days
Amazon drone strike wins over Taliban leaders 2
custard cream 2 days

Early reports indicate a stunning success in what's seen as a unique contribution between American military experts and online giant Amazon. USAF Commander Chuck Hagen said, "We sent it a shipload...

Bansky-style stencil packs on sale up north in bid to push up house prices 2
farmer giles 2 days

A revolutionary plan to increase house prices in the north of England was unveiled today – DIY Banksy-style stencil packs. House price analysts have noticed that whenever the world-famous...

‘Pro-Russian Supporters’ Protest to Putin Against Having to Wear Balaclavas 0
Rumour Control 2 days

Despite the chance of being identified as a member of the Russian Special Forces, a person we will only call Igor has said [i]“Get it over with Vlad, it is too damn hot to be rushing about in all...

Simon Cowell's underpants set to rise 3ft by 2025 2
Robopop 2 days

Experts at the University of Celebrity Studies say they have discovered a rare human phenomenon that could see Simon Cowell vanish from our screens and engulfed by his own underpants within the next...

Russia insists Ukraine agitators are too slim to be Russian soldiers 0
Bigglesworth 2 days

'Dirty' Fuel needs to be replaced with something 'less smutty' - insists UN 1
Wrenfoe 2 days

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has published a damning report on how 'excessively crude' oils are corrupting the young with their reliance on 'salacious carbon-intensive' fuels...

Doctors to promote GlaxoSmithKline through Interpretive Dance 4
Wrenfoe 2 days

Following bribery and corruption allegations leveled at GSK, the pharmaceutical industry plans to promote their products through the power of ‘ribbons’, ‘spandex body suits’ and a judicious...

Piers was 'fired with enthusiasm' says kind job reference for ex chat show host 1
ronseal 2 days
CNN Reports - Tombola Outbreak About to Sweep Through Southern England 1
Rumour Control 3 days

The first case of Tombola in the UK has been reported in Bournemouth, it is thought that by the end of the Easter weekend it might easily spread to the Home Counties., Unusually, Justin Welby says...

UN Says Carbon Emissions Must be Reduced – Ukraine Told to Stop Burning Tyres 1
Rumour Control 3 days

The Pro-Russian population have been advised to stop inflaming the situation and the Ukrainians have accused them of providing a smokescreen for an Invasion...

Future CPS Sex Charges To Be Restricted To Only Old Or Dead DJs, Not Politicians 0
Titus 3 days
Journalists defend right to spout shit with ‘taped-up arsehole selfie’ campaign 1
nedge 3 days

Hundreds of television journalists have taken photographs of themselves with bands of sticky tape fixed to their anuses. The images form part of a campaign aimed at telling the world the relentless...

Government agrees to 'gentlemen's agreement' with G4S over being ripped off. 6
andyiong 3 days

Whitehall has agreed to allow G4S to bid for lucrative contracts again, on the condition that they 'don't make it too obvious' when they're defrauding the public purse of hundreds of millions of...

US threaten Russia with more sanctions, starting with the export of Disney films 2
James Pluside 3 days

Barrack Obama has stepped up the rhetoric in the dispute with Vladimir Putin over Russia's actions in Ukraine. He has confirmed any further threats to Ukrainian sovereignty would lead to drastic...

Jesus questions Harvard report 1
throngsman 3 days

A new report from Harvard suggests that Jesus was married, particularly because in an eighth century text it quotes Jesus referring to 'my wife'. Apparently irritated by the report, Jesus has weighed...

Beavers homes not as good as they used to be, claims damming report. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 days
Cowboy offended when not treated like the stereotype 1
Dumbnews 3 days
Lab-grown vaginas 'are nothing new', says Piers Morgan 0
Oxbridge 3 days
All of man's shortcomings exposed in his choice of clothes, says Psychiatrist 0
Dumbnews 3 days
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Dumbnews 3 days