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Confusion as French PM also promises "red, white and blue brexit" in negotiation


LondonTom 07.12.16 2:18pm
Michael Gove’s pants could win 2017 Turner Prize

Mrs Michael Gove has revealed she will enter her husband’s pants for next year’s Turner Prize. ‘I have thought of entering his pants before, but for some reason I have never got around to it. ...

nickb 07.12.16 2:11pm
Network Rail to have control of tracks at weekends and Bank Holidays only

The government has cited 'irreconcilable breakdowns' as the reason for taking the rail network's control of the tracks off it. 'It's been a stormy relationship,' said Transport Secretary Chris...

throngsman 07.12.16 12:50pm
UK gives Yemen a Xmas stuffing

In this season of peace and love, it is not just turkeys who are getting chestnuts rammed up their jacksie and a Hakim cruise missile down their chimney. This year the UK has merrily ignored...

Wrenfoe 07.12.16 11:33am
Mike Hookem promises black and blue Brexit 0
cinquecento 07.12.16 11:07am
PM Confirms That 'Have Your Cake & Eat It' Means 'Have Your Cake & Eat It. 5
Titus 07.12.16 11:01am
Boris, Palin, Farage to appear in new C4 series: The Secret Life Of 52 Year Olds 3
immacagain 07.12.16 10:15am
#Biscuitgate - Believe Nothing

True #Pizzagate is an imposter...

Dick Everyman 07.12.16 7:52am
Dick Everyman
Cuba Announces 'No Streets Will Be Named "Murdering Communist Bastard" ' 0
Titus 07.12.16 7:49am
Man fails to block carriage after checking behind him

A train commuter forced fellow passengers to navigate coach H relatively unfettered by looking the f*ck behind him, it has emerged. Selfish Colchester man Geoff Smith was given a penalty fair by the...

thatwasbeast 07.12.16 7:44am
World fears contagion as Putin shows symptoms of TSARS 1
immacagain 06.12.16 9:42pm
Al OPecia
PM will "publish Brexit Plan" and neither will Brussels. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 06.12.16 9:42pm
Al OPecia
Band on the Run finally apprehended after 43 years

One for the ticker bar...

ItsMeJack 06.12.16 8:41pm
baron la croix
Michael Fish to start delivering Government's post-Brexit financial forecasts.

One for the ticker bar...

ItsMeJack 06.12.16 8:39pm
Trump invites Nigel Farage to join Suicide Squad.

One for the ticker bar...

ItsMeJack 06.12.16 8:36pm
Jesus Christ 'mightily fucked off' with entire globe getting his birthday wrong

.. I wasn't born on 25 Dec - that is when some ignorant fuckwits thought the winter solstice took place.. and I'm not 2,017 either!...

baron la croix 06.12.16 7:45pm
Big country indicative of small penis says David Cameron - 2

H[i]ave made some small edits - with thanks to FOAD and Squudge for their suggestions.[/i] In a riposte to President Putin’s aide’s dismissal of the UK as a small country that nobody listens to,...

Wicked Lady 06.12.16 6:09pm
baron la croix
Rong ruum 0
Scroat 06.12.16 5:13pm
GWR announcer finally vindicated as hundreds die in 'mind the gap' disaster

GWR announncer Simon Daniels chuckled with delight this afternoon when a carriage-load of Japanese tourists, too busy taking selfies of each other to bother listening to his health and safety...

baron la croix 06.12.16 4:59pm
baron la croix
US electorate win Turner Prize

More to follow...

apepper 06.12.16 4:18pm
Naughty refugee children to be sent to the Dubs Step. 0
Mr Glover Lover 06.12.16 1:44pm
Mr Glover Lover
Rail Reform 'Will, Regrettably, Be Delayed Owing To Signal Failure At Didcot' 1
Titus 06.12.16 1:40pm
Iroquois Pliskin
Trump tweets to complain about SNL mocking his constant tweeting

Oh wait, that actually happened...

YaBasta 06.12.16 10:59am
Blue Peter to bury Tim Peake in his capsule.

The UK has purchased the rights to bury Tim Peake’s mummified remains in the Blue Peter garden. Using his space capsule as futuristic coffin, Mr. Peake will be entombed with a few ‘lines’...

Wrenfoe 06.12.16 10:57am
Islington to be rebranded "Little Venice" 0
YaBasta 06.12.16 10:56am
Boris fails Key Stage 1 SATS - again 0
immacagain 06.12.16 8:21am
lampblack machine outdoor flooring

most consumer is buying lampblack machine, don't consider this type.If your kitchen is thin wall (blame main wall), the weight of the bearing would deep type oil absorption, as a result of the...

happywork 06.12.16 3:07am
Dakota Indians: 'Find another route.' Pipeline companies: 'How?' 1
Renrag 05.12.16 9:06pm
Jeep breakdown at Fidel's funeral cortege resolved by Castro GTX 0
Adrian Bamforth 05.12.16 8:39pm
Adrian Bamforth
Adam Johnson accused of plagiarism. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.12.16 8:20pm