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Weather to knock off for a bit in November 1
harrypalmer 1 day

The British weather has revealed that it is planning to take a break this autumn and head to the southern hemisphere to get some sun. ‘November in Britain is always such a pain in the arse’ the...

Government to legalise murder 0
throngsman 1 day

A government spokesman confirmed today that the proposal to legalise class A drugs is part of an ongoing strategy to eliminate prisons. "They are expensive to run and seem to attract the wrong kind...

Art critic reveals his idea for a war memorial is a pile of bones 0
vulture1 1 day

Those who can do, those who can't become art critics...

NASA crash investigation hampered by reluctance to return to lit rocket 0
Ian Searle 1 day

"Maybe we should have kept it in an old biscuit tin"...

Catcalled New York woman had great pair of tits says cameraman. 3
MADJEZ 1 day

[quote][/quote] More soon...

Google Answers Back 0
Iggy Pop-Barker 1 day

Engineers at Google are reportedly “deeply concerned” at the rapid growth in mutations of Google Now, the search engine’s intelligent personal assistant. From a helpful dispenser of travel...

Israeli cult leader jailed for behaving exactly as espoused in Old Testament 1
Iroquois Pliskin 1 day
NASA confirms Earth will experience 6 days of total stupidity in December 2014 3
bonjonelson 1 day

NASA has confirmed that the Earth will experience 6 days of almost complete stupidity, between the dates Tuesday the 16th to Monday the 22nd of December. The world will remain, during these three...

Robbie Williams' wife has epidural to help cope with massive pain in the arse 2
harrypalmer 1 day
Science Latest- Record Antartic Ice Due to Warming 1
Dun Dunkin 1 day
Fairy lights ban could be in place in time for Christmas 7
Boutros 1 day

The National Grid is taking steps to alleviate the risk of power cuts over Christmas with a ban on outdoor illuminated decorations and a limit on indoor fairy lights of a single string. "What would...

Lord Sugar fires himself as technology fault causes benefit of hindsight failure 0
blacklesbian 1 day

..without seeing the result I didn't have the foggiest fuck which team would lose...

Naked Rambler 'should be bloody well hung' rules EU Judge 2
Skylarking 1 day

More grammar mangling soon...

Norway to be investigated by Serious Fjord Office 3
Iroquois Pliskin 1 day
Farage targeting Limbo at next election 1
throngsman 2 days
Starship Enterprise doctor with green apple face claims to be the surreal McCoy 6
beckfordburger 2 days
PM plans to cut emergency services to stop people needing help 2
Mork 2 days

The government has announced plans to withdraw its support for the Fire Service in the hope that it will discourage people from accidentally burning down their house. Pastimes such as candlelit...

Pope: "Genesis easy to misinterpret" 2
apepper 2 days

"I should know, I do it all the time", says Pope Francis...

Kim Jong-un had surgery to remove roast dinner from his ankle - Reuters reports 0
Iroquois Pliskin 2 days
Vice squad arrests six elderly hookers in raid on crochet circle 1
Jim Garner 2 days
Celebrities to balls-up your commute on Poppy Day 0
Old Hatter 2 days

To mark the centenary of the first world war, the voices of celebrities including, Stephen Fry, Barbara Windsor and Joanna Lumley will echo across overcrowded platforms and bus stops across the...

NASA regrets Michael Bay involvement in latest rocket launch 2
LittleSpender 2 days
Government to buy new computer system to audit new computer systems 1
throngsman 2 days

"Really we haven't done too well," admitted a government spokesman today, when asked about the latest scathing report into botched computer system procurements. "The NHS fiasco didn't do us any...

May 'cannot understand' why Home Office can't cope 'despite cuts' 0
throngsman 2 days
National grid adamant that there will be no winter power bla 3
Underconstruction 2 days
Parental advice awarded heritage status 2
throngsman 2 days

"Surely nobody really believes you'll catch an airborne virus by leaving the house with wet hair," pointed out the heritage minister, "or that masturbating turns you blind," he added while being...

Emperor's New Clothes update: more victims come forward to complain re indecency 5
ronseal 2 days

Scotland Yard's Operation Fairytale Squad has announced that new evidence has emerged over alleged indecent exposure by The Emperor in an incident several centuries ago. ...

New Zealand to vote for Fern Britain to replace Kiwi flag 0
throngsman 2 days

"We're a bit bored of the old flag, what with its pretentious Southern Cross detracting from what really makes New Zealand the truly independent country she is, Britain," said the Kiwi Prime Minister...

Greenpeace admits climate change 'actually quite pleasant' 0
throngsman 2 days

Greenpeace, the environmental campaigning group, have announced today that they are abandoning their long standing policy of opposing anything that might make life fun, like heating, lighting or...

Northamptonshire named Britain’s first Area of Outstanding General Mediocrity 6
Oxbridge 2 days

It was the award a few wanted but only one could have. In the end, it was disappointment for Buckinghamshire, the borough of Chorley and everywhere within a five-mile radius of Motherwell as...