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Nuns to go topless on French beaches

The town of Cannes has insisted that in order maintain secularism all 'hot women of faith' will be stripped by armed police - who will then administer scented lotions to the dulcet tones Sacha Distel...

Wrenfoe 24.08.16 6:02pm
Corbyn pioneers sitting on the floor as a new Olympic sport

More, unfortunately, almost certainly later ...

sockpuppet 24.08.16 5:46pm
Branson: Hard to find seat at table in ‘ram packed’ government contracts market

Sir Richard Branson lashed out today at the ‘ram-packed’ market for lucrative government contracts to provide healthcare and rail services, leaving him with the almost daily nightmare of...

chrisf 24.08.16 5:06pm
Isle of Wight village proves that bottom spankers live longer

People who strike buttocks for erotic pleasure typically outlive those who don’t, says Dr Sidney James, Professor of Posterior Studies at the University of Portsmouth. A case study of the Isle of...

Jodster 24.08.16 3:50pm
Virgin to employ floor managers in place of guards

Hat tip to dominic_mcg...

sockpuppet 24.08.16 2:44pm
Corbyn floored by press conference train questions. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 24.08.16 2:43pm
UK Olympic success wholly due to Brexit. "Didn't expect that, did you Cameron?' 0
sockpuppet 24.08.16 2:37pm
Rio Hightlight: Dancing Horses. Tokyo Highlight: Skateboarding Ducks. 0
silly billy scotland 24.08.16 1:55pm
silly billy scotland
French Burkinis: 50% OFF!!! 0
silly billy scotland 24.08.16 1:27pm
silly billy scotland
France resumes nuclear explosions on Burkini Atoll 0
Sir Lupus 24.08.16 1:12pm
Sir Lupus
French beach police order Muslim women to get their kit off 1
Wrexfan 24.08.16 1:10pm
Sir Lupus
Auction of Truman Capote's Ashes: 'Blown away by interest', claims Sotheby's 0
silly billy scotland 24.08.16 1:09pm
silly billy scotland
WIFE KILLER, 87, GETS 6 YEARS. Defended by Oscar Pistorius lawyer.

'Asking me to take the stand with my zimmer frame was genius. It took years off my sentence.'...

silly billy scotland 24.08.16 1:01pm
silly billy scotland
Office worker traumatised by interrogation about packed lunch

An office worker is in a critical condition following an onslaught of questions, comments, criticisms and recommendations about the lunch she brought to the workplace. Sarah Denton, 27, from London,...

jonessgl 24.08.16 11:43am
Cyclists bemoan lack of floor space for bikes on East Coast Mainline trains 0
Nowherefast 24.08.16 10:33am
Team GB receives ecstatic welcome! 67 medals won! Record haul! Proud nation!

In other news,North Korea today dropped a nuclear bomb on...

silly billy scotland 24.08.16 10:26am
Corbyn floored by shameful video of him riding Virgin 1
Wrexfan 24.08.16 10:19am
silly billy scotland
UK papers reveal 'Gay Gordons' dropped from Mandela visit to avoid offence...

he was offered a 'Dashing White Sergeant' instead...

silly billy scotland 24.08.16 9:49am
silly billy scotland
After Olympic medalists return, second freighter used to carry all the medals. 0
sockpuppet 24.08.16 9:29am
Farage disgusted by overhearing train passengers "talking Socialism". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 24.08.16 9:11am
Al OPecia
Owen Smith will demand repeated General Elections until Labour elected 1
sockpuppet 24.08.16 9:08am
Al OPecia
Train passengers put coats on empty seats to keep Jeremy Corbyn away 0
sockpuppet 24.08.16 9:08am
Ruby Kakkar | Best Girl in Delhi | Delhi Girl

I am the best and independent girl in Delhi if you to a girls just call us we will give you a perfect service in Delhi and your identity will be hidden.,...

purvamathur522 24.08.16 8:58am
Hillary Clinton's strong grip goes back to wringing Bill's neck over Lewinsky 0
thackaray 23.08.16 9:45pm
Jeremy Corbyn easily manages to find empty seats at Shadow Cabinet table

Or: Jeremy Corbyn fails to recognise empty chairs from Shadow Cabinet table...

Adrian Bamforth 23.08.16 9:40pm
Twiddling your thumbs until Tokyo 2020? Write for Newsbiscuit instead... 0
Smart Alex 23.08.16 8:40pm
Smart Alex
Virgin demand Corbyn apologise, without reservation 0
bookiesfriend 23.08.16 7:52pm
IOC welcomes new Italian martial arts, Guido. 0
Maverick 23.08.16 7:13pm
Official: Dominatrix is new speaking clock: 'At the third stroke, it will be..' 1
silly billy scotland 23.08.16 6:23pm
Britain's 2012 Olympic team criticized for poor medal performance at home. 0
MADJEZ 23.08.16 5:32pm