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Salmond - 'no means deferred yes', as he attempts to rape the Union 3
throngsman 1 day
Rare stamp forger claims plagiarism is the greatest form of Philatery 3
godly1966 1 day
Vicky Pryce tells van Gaal ‘OK, but I took 3 points without breaking sweat’ 0
beckfordburger 1 day
England still there, discover Scots. 0
Ted King 1 day

On the day after the referendum, Scotland has woken to find that England is still there. This morning, Scotland, nursing a hang-over of colossal proportions, blearily tuned into BBC News to find that...

Narrow strip of land to be designated for Scottish 'don't knows' 1
Underconstruction 1 day
Disgusted parents to re-decorate Jihadi John's bedroom 0
Underconstruction 1 day
Catherine Zeta-Jones says she will settle for independence 0
Underconstruction 1 day
State of emergency declared after the e-Bono virus hits Britain 9
Squudge 1 day

An urgent public health warning has today been issued after a distressing virus that was supposed to be someone-else's problem has jumped to epidemic status on our shores, having entered the UK via a...

Glastonbury votes for Indie pendants. 0
MADJEZ 1 day
The barmy ManU army 0
lippylion 1 day

[url= ]ManU concerns[/url] Explorers have discovered a ManU national park in...

IS (Independent Scotland) Savages Threaten To Behead UK, Geographically 1
Titus 1 day

Lower part likely to be left severely injured; upper part unlikely to survive, say experts. The would-be executioner, seen speaking clearly in a video, has a 'Distinctly recognisable British accent'...

Man with $1999.99 forced up his back passage not feeling too grand 0
Smart Alex 1 day
Wales to get independence 0
ionb 1 day

Just to piss off the Scots, the government announced that it was giving Wales full independence, no debt and whatever else it wants including 50% of the UK's oil and gas revenues. First Minister...

Large Crowds Queue For Hot Dogs In Manchester 15
Titus 1 day

Su-Bo Sex Tape Causes Internet to go outside 4
neformore 2 days

Thousands of teens have been forced out of their bedrooms and into the real world today following the release of a sex tape involving scottish songstress Susan Boyle apparently hacked from her...

Nottingham University lab blaze saves 6,000 rats. More soon. 4
Al OPecia 2 days
Poundland warns Scots about the price of independence 7
cinnahmon 2 days

The Chief Executive of Scotland's premier purveyor of luxury foodstuffs, Poundland, has joined in the referendum debate. The Poundland CEO, Mr. John Bull, has been lobbying Downing Street to relent...

49.8% Of Scots Demand A Recount, 49.9% Accept Result & 0.3% Don't Know 0
Titus 2 days
Saltire waving Scot strung up by the cymbals at the Proms. 0
Crayon 2 days

Less Britannia soon...

Ofsted gives Nottingham University chemistry faculty an E grade. 0
deskpilot3 2 days

A spokesman said "these people need a fire lit under them"...

Aurora Borealis to relocate to England 0
Tammy Flugh 2 days

More Referendum threats soon...

Disappointed Boris thought he had been selected to represent 'Oxbridge' 3
cinnahmon 2 days
iPhone 6 queuers find ancient remains of iPhone 1 queues 0
SimonJJames 2 days

iPhone enthusiasts were, whilst queueing for the September 17th launch of the iPhone 6, stunned to find ancient remnants of queuers for the original iPhone 1 near the Apple Store in Regent Street,...

Union Jack flags to be made with Velcro stripes 4
Adrian Bamforth 2 days

All credit to Godly1966 who came up with the idea shortly before leaving the Internet:

"Sod the EU, we'll just join the 'Third World' instead says Salmond. 2
Underconstruction 2 days
Mars Bar Manufacturer Supports 'Batter Together' Campaign 0
Titus 2 days

[Hat tips to all those who have incorporated 'batter together' in their posts. I just felt this was a more succinct version.]...

Drunken Scots ask "What was the question again?" 0
Underconstruction 2 days
Salmond will base himself in London if Scotland votes 'yes' 3
Underconstruction 2 days
Jim Sillars Threatens 'Day Of Reckoning' For Those Who Utter Threats 7
Titus 2 days

More threatening later ...

Cameron's best and final offer to Scotland - independence if they vote No 3
throngsman 2 days

It's actually probably less than what's on the table at present...