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Parasitic worm removed from Shadow Cabinet 0
Scroat 2 days
Paddington sequel in doubt amid Ukip calls for repatriation 0
bookiesfriend 2 days
Censors admit they read the film title as "Paddington Bare" 0
apepper 2 days

More to follow...

The arse and the farce 0
Jim Garner 2 days

Kate and William invite their siblings for lunch...

Craig Charles to visit Big Brother household 1
Underconstruction 2 days
Tony Blair condemns Cherie Law 4
Dick Everyman 2 days
Sainsbury's advert to feature ISIS and Yazidi Christians in heart warming truce 0
Mandy Lifeboat 2 days
Scottish F.A to probe manager 1
Jan Nermart 2 days

The Scottish F.A are set to launch an investigation into the team selection aginst England at Celtic Park on Tuesday night. It seems that the manager, Gordon Strachan, may have been randomly...

Despite a huge majority against, turkeys lose vote over Christmas 0
vulture1 2 days

Next year they are going to try UKIP, with the same result...

Information watchdog couldn't report Russian website due to privacy rules 0
throngsman 2 days

"We've known about this site for ages," confirmed a representative from the Information Commissioner's office, "but we couldn't mention it due to information protection rules," he said. He confirmed...

Murderous paedophiles sue for 'hurt feelings' 0
Underconstruction 2 days

Sadly there is no punchline...

Just when you thought you couldn't hate Jihadists more, they recruit 1000 French 9
throngsman 2 days

more xenophobia later...

Philae wakes up briefly to call Bono a w88ker 0
Underconstruction 2 days
gaijintendo 2 days

"My son has been an absolute prick all year, and is now generating £400 a year from the National Grid, or something."...

Man to sue Microsoft over abusive spell checker 0
harrypalmer 2 days

In a landmark case a Copywriter from London is taking legal action against computing giant Microsoft after the spell checker on his version of Outlook behaved in a threatening and abusive manner. 42...

Michael Buerk files his first report from 'I'm a Celebrity' jungle: 9
Adrian Bamforth 2 days

'Dawn. And as the sun breaks through the piercing chill of night on the camp outside the producers' hotel, it lights up the scene of a 1990s game show, now, in the 21st Century. This show, say the...

Sepp Blatter and Bernie Ecclestone in job swap experiment 2
patb 2 days

In shock news that has surprised both football and F-1 fans around the World, it was today announced that Sepp Blatter and Bernie Ecclestone would be swapping roles for 1015. In a joint press...

Nicola Sturgeon's vow: no more fishy surnames 0
Glen Morangie 2 days

Scotland's new first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, has vowed that she will not be continuing the practice of selecting senior SNP positions based on how fishy their surname is. Her announcement is...

Hunger Games III - exclusive preview 0
Skylarking 2 days

[url=]From the set[/url]...

Bono bike crash: 'I shouldn't have ridden so close to The Edge.' 0
Adrian Bamforth 3 days

Just thought I'd get it out the way now...

Bono's bike crash reveals God's wicked sense of humour 3
irreverendJ 3 days
We can't bear bare bears. 0
Wrenfoe 3 days

With a partially clothed Winnie-the-Pooh being banned in Poland and Paddington Bear’s new film containing ‘mild sex references’; the nation has been forced to ask – Can we bar the bears that...

Putin provides a guiding light for the masses 0
tomholder 3 days

Putin said "Let there be Light" and it was so...

Fat smokers more dangerous than Kalashnikov wielding terrorists, says report 0
throngsman 3 days

“We’ve carried out extensive research and can confirm that obese cigarette smokers are responsible for more deaths than Islamic State, Boko Harum and the Women’s Institute cake stand...

London East 0
gillie 3 days

Muslim communities in London are pleased to learn that if recent reports are to be believed, a London Underground on-board train announcement will inform passengers when their train is directly...

Michael Buerk leaves I'm a Celebrity after tragic death of remaining credibility 0
Skylarking 3 days
Kim Jong-un dreading nuclear test after ditching revision for Super Mario Bros. 0
Iroquois Pliskin 3 days
European Space Agency fines Philae Lander for negative TripAdvisor Review 8
pinxit 3 days

A tourist has been fined 100 Euros by the European Space Agency (ESA) for leaving critical comments about them on travel review website Travel Advisor. Mr Philae Lander posted the negative comments...

Facebook develops new algorithm to find why none of its algorithms work 0
Dumbnews 3 days
Colchester plastic surgeon said to have hung himself, 0
Jim Garner 3 days

Sad, sad. . ...