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Pressure mounts for immediate withdrawal of British sportsmen from Australia

There is growing pressure on the Government today to withdraw British sporting stars from Australia following the weekend’s devastating results from down under. Protesters have mounted a vigil...

ianslat 31.01.11 5:09pm
MC One R
Newcastle admit £30m bid for Carroll "assumed to be Dalglish's sense of humour" 0
MC One R 31.01.11 5:04pm
MC One R
Ignore, googling revealed my joke did not make sense 0
Dumbnews 31.01.11 5:00pm
Wayne Rooney renegotiates image rights. “An extra £20 a week will come in handy” 1
Doylem 31.01.11 4:55pm
Lynx effect a myth!

..Claims Walter McGeeky, an overweight, unemployed 53 year old virgin that spends his time scouring the internet for er, jobs, he tells us., "It's rubbish!" claimed Mr McGeeky, "I went to a beach at...

AndyOverhead 31.01.11 4:48pm
Price of decals skyrocket as transfer deadline day draws to a close 0
simonjmr 31.01.11 4:35pm
Scientists prove Dirt is Dirty

This, only 3 days after concluding that water is watery. And, following an accident that led to the dirt and water being mixed together, they have managed a hat-trick of results by proving once and...

AndyOverhead 31.01.11 4:11pm
Comedy trio 'The 3 Carrs' split as Jimmy and Alan discover Maxine's secret past. 0
Phlegm 31.01.11 3:03pm
The Palins: Sarah and Michael collaborate in repeat of ‘dead parrot’ sketch... 3
Doylem 31.01.11 2:57pm
NASA not required to launch Enterprise to rescue Clingon in Egypt

as rebels have lost their voice due to a malfunction of their translators. The successful malfunctioning of the western style hand held translators prevented the rebels to harmonise, such giving the...

4ty2 31.01.11 1:56pm
Poundstretcher to be renamed twopoundstretcher after inflation warning 0
Basil_B 31.01.11 1:29pm
Chelsea table audacious £30m bid for Kai Rooney

"This is our future perfect strategy for 2022" said a Chelsea Spokesman More soon...

simonjmr 31.01.11 1:13pm
Wayne Rooney tipped for Hollywood , playing Mr. Potato Head in Toy Story 4 0
Ian Searle 31.01.11 1:01pm
Ian Searle
James Bond composer has Die-de-die-die-de-die-die, die-de-die-die-de-die-died! 2
Ian Searle 31.01.11 1:00pm
Ian Searle
Jet-pack technology indefinately postponed in favour of replacement bus service.

Hat tip to Doylem...

the coarse whisperer 31.01.11 12:47pm
the coarse whisperer
Transfer deadline day latest: Mr Humphries on “free transfer” to Arsenal... 0
Doylem 31.01.11 12:29pm
More than 750,000 new irate tax payers.

or at least that's what I thought they said on the radio...

bonjonelson 31.01.11 12:14pm
Communion bread & wine “re-positioned in market” as mid-morning snack... 0
Doylem 31.01.11 12:03pm
Tories defend forest cuts

'These wild animals have been sponging free-housing off the Government for too long'- Tories defend forest cuts...

sunner 31.01.11 10:53am
Mubarak urged to throw-in the 100% finest refined cotton towel 3
Duncan Biscuit 31.01.11 10:47am
Future “not as exciting as it used to be”, futurologist recalls...

“Back in the black & white 1950s the future looked good”, said James Cantrell, a futurologist from the Applied Foresight Foundation. “We envisaged a bright, new, high-tech tomorrow. Space...

Doylem 31.01.11 10:30am
All of Egypt grounded for 2 weeks for breaking curfew 0
ianslat 31.01.11 10:22am
Constipated MPs face all night sitting. 1
Ian Searle 31.01.11 9:49am
Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy the dog to fight gang ASBO order 0
Duncan Biscuit 31.01.11 9:47am
Duncan Biscuit
Bob Crow feared thieves on his line 0
Duncan Biscuit 31.01.11 9:46am
Duncan Biscuit
Scottish man suffers huge fall but vows prompt return to the tennis court 0
Duncan Biscuit 31.01.11 9:46am
Duncan Biscuit
New Over 60 and Children’s Guidance Certificates on films the old need explained 0
Ian Searle 31.01.11 9:43am
Ian Searle
You, me, a foreign looking gentleman and a rucksack… It’s TPIMs o’clock! 0
Ian Searle 31.01.11 9:40am
Ian Searle
Horse whisperer prosecuted for having sex with horse...

Derek Woods, a Devon man described in court as “a loner, with a drink problem, who was unable to sustain a stable relationship”, has been found guilty of having sex with a horse. When asked about...

Doylem 31.01.11 9:22am
Skysport relent as rioting enters 5th day

Following 5 days of rioting on the streets of Egypt and with Tunisia in imminent meltdown, Skysport have finally bowed to pressure from protesters and agreed to reinstate presenters Andy Gray and...

Gerontius 31.01.11 9:16am