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Clarke goes up the wrong 'un over his definitions 0
Pinhead 18.05.11 4:25pm
Emo Israeli couple to name child 'dislike'. 0
Mr Payne 18.05.11 3:50pm
Mr Payne
"Tickin - no it's turkey" Irish PM reassures HM Queen 1
antharrison 18.05.11 3:47pm
Mr Payne
Brian May, Roger Taylor and Paul Rogers return to UK after misreading headline

All that jazz later...

virtuallywill 18.05.11 3:07pm
Fears Olympic torch bearers will be arrested for going equipped to commit arson. 0
Mrblacker 18.05.11 2:49pm
New generation of hardline feminists warns that All Men Are Rappers 0
ronseal 18.05.11 2:45pm
Pleb banned from drinking Lapsang Souchong in row over intellectual proper tea 4
ronseal 18.05.11 2:43pm
Most frapists invariably only write half a sentence anyway claims Clarke

I hasten to add that I despise facebook...

charlies_hat 18.05.11 2:11pm
Children's play area fails CRB check

A formerly well-respected playground just off Lacock Gardens in Maidstone has been blocked from working with minors after it failed an "Enhanced Disclosure" criminal records bureau check. The check,...

QorbeQ 18.05.11 2:02pm
be reasonable
Attempted return of the pony express in Wrexham proves unsuccessful I know there's a couple of tickers below about this but I thought it would be worth posting up the actual story...

Basil_B 18.05.11 1:29pm
Tesco press for 'one third off' sentences for guilty plea shoplifters 1
Scroat 18.05.11 1:07pm
Olympic torch route 'risks teaching Cornish the secret of fire' 7
18.05.11 1:05pm
Number of jobless people in UK falls... as Queen visits Ireland 0
Qoxiivi 18.05.11 12:57pm
ITV unsure what to call new primetime show where contestants clean out beer kegs 8
Iamthestig 18.05.11 12:23pm
Man who took a pony on train says he didn't flush whilst carriage was stationary

not many cockneys in wales though...

charlies_hat 18.05.11 12:20pm
Man attempts to carry train on back of donkey. 0
Mr Payne 18.05.11 11:58am
Mr Payne
Bryant and May demand £500 bonus for lighting olympic torch

More ransom news soon...

18.05.11 11:55am
Olympic Torch to visit Manchester "a bit risky" admits Lord Coe

What with all the rain. Nothing to do with it being stolen. Nothing at all. Nope...

nilbymouse 18.05.11 11:53am
'Muscular' Lib Dem Health Secretary announces revised NHS bill

In a bid to flex the party's waning political muscle, Liberal Democrat Health Secretary Andrew Lansley has turned his proposed NHS legislation on its head, announcing new plans to retain 24,000...

QorbeQ 18.05.11 11:52am
Clegg to defy Cameron over tying his own shoelaces

In a further attempt to distance himself from his own utter confusion, Nick Clegg's policy to "disagree within reasonable limits" was again evident today after announcing he would no longer tie his...

nilbymouse 18.05.11 11:48am
Olympic torch to be a carbon neutral solar powered LED lamp,

Lord Coe announced today. More global warming bullshit soon...

Tammy Flugh 18.05.11 11:31am
Tammy Flugh
Campaign to reclaim words that have become rude launched by US Judge David Minge

American Judge and former US politician David R. Minge has taken a leave of absence from his judicial duties to launch a campaign aimed at "enriching the English language by reclaiming those words...

rickwestwell 18.05.11 11:31am
Queen's Ireland visit delayed by Philip's lack of insults

The Queen has confirmed that she would have visited Ireland much sooner but for Prince Philip's inability to think of any racist insults. 'I've wanted to go there ever since the Good Friday...

ianslat 18.05.11 8:56am
Labour Party seeks to extend injunction on all media coverage of Ed Miliband

The Labour Party has applied to the High Court in a bid to extend the injunction currently in place on all political media coverage of Ed Miliband. The original nine-month gagging order was taken out...

OllieP 18.05.11 8:45am
Wife divorces selfish opera singer "during vocal warm up he was all mi mi mi mi" 0
brownpaperreporter 18.05.11 7:42am
IMF Chief Offered Escape by Hog-Nosed Skunks

NEW YORK - A day after Dominique Strauss-Kahn was refused a $1m bail on an attempted rape charge, a military unit from Managuay offers to rescue him for half the price. Upon arrival at the Rikers...

RogerAbrahams 18.05.11 7:22am
Clegg to continue with gap year in agreeing with Conservatives

more next May...

virtuallywill 18.05.11 6:49am
Suspicion Grows Over Brown's Role in IMF Chief Scandal

Right. I've never tried this before, so please be gentle! Any suggestions gratefully received! ---------------------------------------------------- Rumours are spreading in international circles...

Le Creuset Fiend 18.05.11 6:30am
"Ich bin Ein Dubliner" announces Queen on arrival in Ireland 8
Deacon 18.05.11 6:22am
Klingon cricket captain Strauss-Kahn bowls maiden over 1
18.05.11 5:47am