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Syria condemns brutal crackdown by police on brave Tottenham freedom fighters 2
JohnA 08.08.11 11:36pm
Rogue Boarder Collie refuses to pay kennel fees. 0
guffaw 08.08.11 11:05pm
David Cameron asks America for advice Rumsfield reminds him that looting is 0
guffaw 08.08.11 11:04pm
Cameron returning to London as riots spread to Tuscany 1
roybland 08.08.11 11:02pm
Hungry rioters set fire to Greggs to make sure Pasties are "cooked properly" 0
thackaray 08.08.11 10:01pm
Looters return goods to PC World after seeing same item cheaper in Comet 2
brownpaperreporter 08.08.11 9:22pm
David Cameron's 'don't eat yellow snow' tip goes down badly in Italian Cafe. 1
Corrigan 08.08.11 8:57pm
Olympic flames arrive in London a year too soon. 2
Dickens or Shakespeare 08.08.11 8:43pm
Who's a big twat now, eh? jeers Marx from beyond grave

A smirking Karl Marx last night broke decades of silence and spoke from beyond the grave to jeer: “Who’s the big twat now, eh?”, As countries all over Europe opened tetchy letters from their...

FraserWords 08.08.11 8:23pm
Italian waitress digusted by Cameron leaving a tip in Euros. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 08.08.11 8:22pm
Red faces as George Michael wins Daily Mail's 'Dream Cottage'

There were red faces at the Daily Mail today, after George Michael was announced as the winner of their 'dream cottage' competition. What started as a minor disagreement rapidly escalated into a ...

08.08.11 8:21pm
DFS not looted in London riots 1
roybland 08.08.11 8:03pm
Dolphin Marries Tuna After Long Friendship 0
mugwump 08.08.11 7:56pm
Markets go ga ga in sync with Maggie. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 08.08.11 7:02pm
Al OPecia
William Hague recognises Tottenham rioters as true government in London

More to follow...

William Pumpton 08.08.11 6:45pm
Al OPecia
Berlusconi critical of British Premier's failure to consider waitresses tits

When in Rome...

button 08.08.11 6:42pm
British fashion writers slam London looters’ dress sense

With London Fashion Week commencing in a little over a month, Britain’s fashion writers, presenters and commentators have united to criticise the poor dress sense adopted by many of the weekend’s...

antharrison 08.08.11 6:03pm
Poor "cannot afford to riot" as cost of petrol bombs soars 0
bonjonelson 08.08.11 6:00pm
Ocado to introduce online looting. 1
the coarse whisperer 08.08.11 5:57pm
Matt T
Cameron praises 'outstanding' coverage of London riots at pool bar

Prime Minister David Cameron last night praised the placement of two giant plasma screens in the pool bar at his luxury hotel in Italy. Mr Cameron who is on holiday in Tuscany said they offered him...

Darkbill 2.0 08.08.11 5:38pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Clegg returns and declares "everything's OK now" before bursting into flames

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg returned from holiday to take charge of Britain and issued his rallying call at a packed press conference: “Everything will be all right now.”, Mr Clegg paused...

FraserWords 08.08.11 5:13pm
Semi-naked Worthing pensioners loot Oxfam shop.

Bored Worthing pensioners have caused outrage in the South Coast resort after another night of rioting and looting. A gang of rowdy geriatrics were spotted outside the town's Oxfam Shop with piles...

rebel not taken 08.08.11 5:01pm
Sting blamed for recent outbreaks of luteing. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 08.08.11 4:31pm
Trophy-collecting trawlerman admits to possession of fish fingers 2
pinxit 08.08.11 4:09pm
The month's news in brief: Hacking in Luton. Looting in Hackney. 0
pinxit 08.08.11 4:08pm
IRA to close with loss of over 1,800 local jobs

One of the last local terrorist organisations has today went into administration, putting over 1,800 local jobs at risk. To be confirmed at a press conference later on today, held in a secret...

William Pumpton 08.08.11 3:46pm
William Pumpton
More looters arrested after police find they checked in to shops on Facebook

Police in North London have made a further 50 arrests relating to the recent riots following the discovery of a Facebook group titled “I love lootin!!!”. The breakthrough came when police...

Vertically Challenged Giant 08.08.11 2:52pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Robert Peston's online reports to be punctuated in Peston

The loss of America's AAA credit rating(pause) shoutsloudly that there is risk in lending to America - which at a time of great stress in financial markets could be very...

virtuallywill 08.08.11 2:38pm
William Pumpton
Police and Kaiser Chiefs dispute whether riot could have been predicted. 7
MADJEZ 08.08.11 2:35pm
Matt T
Whole Kosher thing ‘based on bronze-age weight-loss fads’, claims archaeologist

Dr Ilan Greenberg of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem announced yesterday that the whole concept of “Kosher” might be ‘a bit Atkins, a bit Dukan – you know, the usual weird shit’,...

NewSuburbanDad 08.08.11 2:29pm