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"Don't worry" Miliband tells nation, "I'll be just like other politicians&q 0
la maga 4 years
Weeping Karzai a creeping Rose to be entered at the next Chelsea 0
arrghgarry 4 years

flower show...

Ed Moribund doesn't like new nickname. 3
be reasonable 4 years
Eating disorder charity criticised for throwing gala fund raising dinner 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

Unions roundly condemned BEAT, the Eating Disorder charity after many of their members complained about the aftermath of the charity dinner. John Eccles explains "We are wholly supportive of the...

John West announce 'Arsefish Unfriendly' tinned tuna. 0
thecritic 4 years

Following massive criticism of the fishing industry in recent years, John West today officially announced the new certification of all of their tinned tuna products as being particularly harmful to...

Wife Bursts Into Tears When She Realised that She Married 'a Loser' 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

A wife confident for years her husband would be a winner broke down and wept when it became public that someone else had married the winner...

Jordan fined for thrusting her big pink box into oncoming traffic. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Glamour model and all round er… pair of boobs; Jordan has been fined by magistrates after several motorists nearly swerved into her pink box on the A23. All tabloid journalists leave has been...

Kim Jong-il Seeks 'British Style' Hereditary Head of State 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

North Korean officials confirmed the Dear Leader also wants a Briish Style 'National' Oath that swears to protect only the Head of State and a British Style 'National' Anthem' that calls for blessing...

Kim Jong-Un to prove himself with his own dictatorship before he can inherit 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years

family corner-shop. Documents leaked today reveal that the keen-as-mustard heir of the Kim Korean Bodega chain, Kim Jong-Un, has had his wings clipped by the ever cautious patriarch of the family,...

Man abandons corner shop not even on a corner 0
roybland 4 years

After twenty-five years of supporting his local corner shop, Mick Miller is throwing in the towel and taking his business to Tesco.,  , 'I've had enough,' said a bitter Mr Miller. 'For all those...

Police to Issue 'Spot Fines' for Pedestrians Who don't Complete their Journey 1
IABP 4 years

Police forces around the country are to issue 'spot fines' for pedestrians who don't complete their journey. Police have warned the general public that if they intend to go somewhere then they must...

Actress tells school students to "live in the real world" 1
Obidiah Bobblenob 4 years

A famous actress, who used to be married to a famous actor, has told the current students at the school she once attended to talk properly and not to behave in outlandish ways, if they want to...

Kim Jong very ill. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 4 years
Prostitute Jennifer Thompson: 'I've slept with loads of premiership footballers' 2
be reasonable 4 years

in a tragic misinterpretation of the Government's advice to 'have five vegetables a day'...

Bookmakers face heavy losses after Ed Miliband speech gets standing ovation 1
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

Britain's bookmakers have been taken by surprise after the new Labour leader unexpectedly received a standing ovation for his maiden speech at the Labour Conference in Manchester. In an official...

Man lands safely after tandem sky-dive but bicycle is ruined ... more soon 0
Kramaring 4 years
Air Traffic Controllers To Be Chosen by Democratic Vote. 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

'We think its an exciting innovative move that frees up an area that before was highly regulated', said a spokesperson. "We hope the govt will extend democracy and thus legitimise other areas that...

Man Who Downloaded "Meaningful Relationship" App Finds No One To Show It To. 0
Ablative Fabsolute 4 years
New parking rates to be expressed as a percentage of the value of your vehicle 0
Dumbnews 4 years
CPS to hand over Prosecution to 'Big Society' 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

"We can't do everything', said a CPS spokesman. 'So if people know someone is guilty and we can't deal with then it makes sense the local community members sort it out'...

Paris MP urges France to follow UK as Labour Party "given 'Ed". 0
tl72uk 4 years
Miliband to take on Cameron in 'massive punch up' after Labour conference. 0
4 years

Ed Miliband has today announced that he will be taking on the Conservative government in a new way- by arranging a huge fight between New Labour and The Coalition, with Miliband taking on David...

Ambulances to be replaced by white vans 11
MrChigleysAunt 4 years

In the latest austerity measure, NHS ambulances are being replaced with white Transit vans, identified by a copy of the Sun newspaper in the front window., The first patient to experience the new...

Conservative Party Press Office to merge with News International 0
ChrisHarrison 4 years

The latest Tory efficiency drive will see its central press office subsumed into the vast media empire of staunch supporter, Rupert Murdoch. The deal is seen as a further strengthening of the firm...

BBC switchboard inundated with complaints by PMT sufferers over 'Period Dramas' 2
pinxit 4 years
Home prices rise 6E-5 percent in July from June 0
Dumbnews 4 years
iPhone 5 rumoured to be able to make phone calls 1
Dumbnews 4 years
Panic at Heathrow as air traffic control run by unqualified eastern europeans 0
Basil_B 4 years

The civil avaition authority revealed details today of severe staff shortages at Heathrow Airport which has led to a worrying lack of coverage amongst the air traffic control staff. This situation...

Saville Row Tailors can only give "Ball Park" price for bespoke oversize Pants 0
Rowly 4 years
The Credit Expert With Perfect Credit Score Declared Bankrupt 0
IABP 4 years