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The Sun Poll reveals over half the public would have sex with Nick Clegg 2
twookey 4 years

The "Clegg effect" shows no sign of abating after polls suggest over 72% of people would sleep with the Liberal Democrat leader,The Sun has reported. Clegg has been quick to dismiss the polls...

Illegal immigrants giving out travel advice to stranded Britons 2
4 years

"If thousands of penniless Moldovan peasants can get into Britain without flying, how hard can it be?"...

UK's jet ban means C02 targets now met, nixing entire climate change industry 4
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

As Britain met its CO2 emissions cutting targets last week, Gordon Brown announced that anyone with Climate Change in their job title is now surplus to requirements. Wheel clampers (AKA climate...

Government phasing in of air space opening comes under fire... 0
andhrimnir 4 years

following a leaked document identifying areas with a "high proportion of expendable passengers" referred to later in the document as "the North"...

Pope keen to rush through cannonisation of Nick Clegg 3
PluckyMunky 4 years
Eurostar claims responsibility for volcano 0
ED209 4 years
Groundhog day to be renamed "minced pork" day 0
andhrimnir 4 years

following cooking "incident" in Punxsustawney...

'Clegg caused eruption in Iceland', claims Cameron 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

'A vote for the the lib-dems is a vote for volcanoes' says Tory leader...

Scrounging employees wasting private sector money, says Daily Mail 2
QorbeQ 4 years

Part- and full-time employees across the UK have become the latest targets of the Dail Mail as the newspaper dubs workers 'scroungers simply waiting for handouts'. The paper reports that virtually...

Experts warn, frozen food price hike may trigger national hunger crisis 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Whites breeding at such an alarming rate,towns set to become majority christian 2
twookey 4 years

A think tank study group has revealed fears over white majority towns by the year 2025 if breeding patterns continue as they do. Andy Clarke,the Think Tank co-ordinator,said:"white people are having...

Clegg eats baby. Latest! 3
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
"No planes, just trains, boats and automobiles" script being touted 0
simonjmr 4 years
UK health chief hits out against lightweight drinkers 5
jp1885 4 years

Britain's Chief Medical Officer, Professor Sir Liam Donaldson, has issued his strongest warning yet about the dangers of drinking in moderation. Speaking at a recent seminar, Sir Liam told the...

Alitalia to resume flights over Europe after obtaining permission from Pope 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Gordon Brown announces free cruises for work-shy layabouts 0
4 years
Jehovah's WItnesses to uses Political canvassers to distribute Watchtower 0
simonjmr 4 years
Disaster as top video-conferencing salesman grounded by volcano 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
Tug-of-war to replace ‘dangerous’ scrum in Rugby Union 0
Des Custard 4 years

After extensive consultations about reducing the level of dangerous injuries in scrums, the International Rugby Board reveals today that the scrum is to be replaced altogether by a tug-of-war. As...

Vapona maintains no-fly zone 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years

more soon (apologies if done before)...

Newbiscuit subber calls for longer headline character limit after yet another .. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

oh fuck I'll put it on the next line and then no bugger will read it ! Less soon probably...

Brown back-tracks on use of helicopters for rescuing stranded travellers 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Vince Cable success prompts Osborne name-change to George Wifi 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Isle of Wight to be covered in trees in Eyjafjallajoekull carbon-offset scheme 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
BBC insists Chiles leaving is news, especially when so little else is happening 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Volcano crisis upgraded; now said to be affecting celebrities. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

With the news the DJ Chris Moyles was stranded in the US and several movie stars would be unable to visit Gordon Brown today called for drastic measures.[quote]Ordinary members of the public being...

Vulcanization expert 'exasperated with non-rubber-related phone calls'. 0
QorbeQ 4 years
Anti-smoking lobby denies involvement in volcanic ash travel chaos 0
Scroat 4 years
Kingston Council advertises Director of Baffling Public Sector Job Descriptions 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

As the plain english outbreak at Kingston Council worsens, executives have moved swiftly to stifle any understanding that may have filtered through to the public. In the first of many appointments,...

Campaigning in disarray as volcanic ash causes election postponement 0
Scroat 4 years