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China shut 1.3m websites in 2010, News Corps closes one tiny newspaper in 2011

"What's the fuss?" claims Rupert Murdoch. "I don't see no public enquiry into the activities of the Chinese Government." More soon...

1
simonjmr 13.07.11 2:18pm
JohnA
Phone hacking not investigated as police were busy with, you know, stuff

A Metropolitan police officer said that the NI phone hacking case was not properly investigated first time around as ‘they were really busy with all sorts of, you know, stuff’., Peter Clarke was...

2
Solanki and Mawhinney 13.07.11 2:00pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
PCP addiction 'preferable' to P2P addiction, says record label boss 0
Christopher Frost 13.07.11 1:34pm
Christopher Frost
British Gas announces 50% increase in announcements of price increases

British Gas has today announced that they will be increasing their amount of gas price increase announcements by 50% with effect from the start of next month. The announcement will come as another...

4
Vertically Challenged Giant 13.07.11 1:18pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Unemployment figures slightly less dreadful 0
Christopher Frost 13.07.11 1:15pm
Christopher Frost
Sainsbury's replace Jamie Oliver with more popular stars - like Rebekah Brooks

Sainsbury’s is to film a series of TV adverts with new ‘guest’ stars like Rebekah Brooks and Nick Clegg, specially chosen for being “more popular than Jamie Oliver”., Following the...

1
FraserWords 13.07.11 1:12pm
JohnA
Britons go for gold in Olympic dogging

Pundits say Terry and Liz Picnic could be the first Britons to grab gold at London 2012 after a shock development in the debut Olympic sport of dogging., The Picnics are now hot favourites for glory...

0
FraserWords 13.07.11 1:07pm
FraserWords
Rebekah Brooks should go now, urges Gaddafi

Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi is urging News International CEO Rebekah Brooks to 'do the right thing and leave now.' In an interview on Libyan state television, Gaffafi says: "She may well be...

3
Darkbill 2.0 13.07.11 1:04pm
FraserWords
Rare dual-sex butterfly just wants some quiet time alone with itself. 0
Ostsee 13.07.11 12:22pm
Ostsee
Ikea hails success of advertising campaign for new range of negotiating tables

Home furnishing giant Ikea has announced a rise in profits for the last quarter after a recent ad campaign quadrupled sales of its MILIBÅNND range of negotiating tables. 'We thought we might try to...

9
The Paper Ostrich 13.07.11 11:13am
OllieP
News International to launch soft drink Dandy Liar and Murdoch 0
simonjmr 13.07.11 11:10am
simonjmr
Unemployment offices besieged by disappointed ex-Murdoch Journalists

"Where are our four bed-roomed houses and £60K benefit payments?" asked one disgruntled former hack, "I am almost ready to believe Murdoch has been lying to the public"...

0
Tom55 13.07.11 10:49am
Tom55
News International and BSKYB in talks to sponsor Deal or No Deal 0
simonjmr 13.07.11 10:49am
simonjmr
Australian Gothic

http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s76/teambucket/australiangothic.jpg...

4
red 13.07.11 10:31am
rickwestwell
New NI chief exec Rebekah White says 'trail has gone cold on my predecessor'

Tossing her fiery hair and with her eyes flicking nervously from side to side, the incoming News International editor added "I must repeat that I have no knowledge whatsoever of the whereabouts of...

0
pere floza 13.07.11 10:14am
pere floza
Man who works down the chip shop turns out to actually be Elvis. 0
Ian Searle 13.07.11 10:07am
Ian Searle
Plague of Leemings descends on Cornwall town

St Austell was today overrun by a Monsato manufactured plague of Leemings. The convivial host of 5,000 cloned newsreaders swamped the small shopping centre in St. Austell before moving on rapidly to...

0
simonjmr 13.07.11 10:02am
simonjmr
Italian Economic Crisis Deepens: Berlusconi seen buying violin. 2
Stan 13.07.11 10:01am
JohnA
02 reveals to Camelot the identity of Euromillions winner

£161 million is enough to buy a newspaper or start a TV network...

0
Laughingstock 13.07.11 9:45am
Laughingstock
€ millions winner warned not to buy light aircraft and learn to fly

The UK's biggest € millions winner has today been warned not to use their newly acquired wealth to buy their very own light aircraft and take flying lessions. A Camelot psychologist has been...

0
simonjmr 13.07.11 9:34am
simonjmr
Female praying mantis diagnosed with male eating disorder 0
Duncan Biscuit 13.07.11 8:58am
Duncan Biscuit
Bridlington’s chip-stealing seagulls to return to Scotland on Saturday 0
Duncan Biscuit 13.07.11 8:58am
Duncan Biscuit
Suspended Johann Hari says ‘Forgive them for they know not what they do’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 13.07.11 8:57am
Duncan Biscuit
Tabloid journalists welcome news cheque books are not to be scrapped 0
Duncan Biscuit 13.07.11 8:57am
Duncan Biscuit
Hacking reveals Thatcher wanted Miliband “to pull pants down on BBC”

Ed Miliband’s chief adviser was today forced out of the closet which contained his blue ties, blue socks and a David Willets blow up doll. Since taking over as leader in September, Miliband has...

0
Fred Bayr 13.07.11 8:22am
Fred Bayr
Wind farmer ‘livid’ at botched blow job

Lakeland wind farmer Giles Hardacre, has written to the Office of Fair Trading (OFT) after an engineer failed to complete a simple blow job at his 100 acre wind farm. “My main turbine appeared to...

3
Dick Everyman 13.07.11 7:53am
Dick Everyman
Gok Wan disappears up his own arse in catwalk mishap

Legendary fashionista, Gok Wan is recovering in hospital today following a freak accident at the Blue Water shopping centre, in Kent. The host had just announced his line-up of 're-cycled...

9
Dick Everyman 13.07.11 7:52am
Dick Everyman
Black leggings to blame for male impotency - BMA reports

Male impotency levels in the UK have a direct correlation to the upsurge in women wearing black leggings, a study by the British Medical Association has revealed. The study, which was conducted over...

11
Dick Everyman 13.07.11 7:44am
Dick Everyman
Q:What's your name? A:"Harper Seven" - Strewth is that the time already? 2
Dick Everyman 13.07.11 7:40am
Dick Everyman
Sun urges Times readers to switch to Telegraph in hacking protest. 0
Ostsee 13.07.11 6:31am
Ostsee