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Graphic designer asked to tone it down. 2
SingingHinny 04.04.11 11:35am
Disaster as ‘Come Dine With Me’ narrator hosts own dinner party

Friends and relatives of Dave Lamb, narrator of the popular Channel 4 lifestyle show ‘Come Dine With Me’, have expressed concern for his safety after the comedian, actor and voiceover artiste...

jp1885 04.04.11 11:23am
Friends and family of Chris Moyles are concerned after he does turn up for work.

Prompting fears he may return home tonight...

Ian Searle 04.04.11 11:16am
Ian Searle
Mr. Sheen jeered by audience for 'unpolished performance'...

"It's just a smear campaign," he responded...

be reasonable 04.04.11 10:46am
Man in elephant enclosure feels equally ignored 0
jp1885 04.04.11 10:14am
Historians uneasy about Elephant in the Runes 0
04.04.11 9:14am
Abused elephant seeks sanctuary at Longleat from Newsbiscuit contributors 0
Duncan Biscuit 04.04.11 8:39am
Duncan Biscuit
Cameron targets NHS in sickness benefit clampdown 0
Duncan Biscuit 04.04.11 8:38am
Duncan Biscuit
Stamp price increase complaint letter returned due to insufficient postage 0
Duncan Biscuit 04.04.11 8:37am
Duncan Biscuit
Craven Cottage to be re-named Neverland 0
greg various 04.04.11 8:35am
greg various
Elephants never forget which room they are in 1
Oxbridge 04.04.11 8:32am
Des Custard
rooney to be awarded the conspicuous gallantry medal for services to football

by Prince Charles who wanted to publically reward him for upholding old traditions he wants to introduce again under his reign. However for the time being Charles granted him the freedom of football...

4ty2 04.04.11 7:56am
Stationary store "not planning on going anywhere" 1
Nick McCarr 04.04.11 7:38am
be reasonable
Afghan rioters admit mistake after discovering US pastor burnt a Korean...

"that's perfectly acceptable," said Abdul Madjid, 34, leader of the rioters in Kandahar province. "After all, burning a living human being is well within the bounds of acceptable behaviour; I did my...

be reasonable 04.04.11 6:21am
be reasonable
ITV denies ‘history of unimaginative programming’ after original ‘Gladiators’...

ITV denies ‘history of unimaginative programming’ after original ‘Gladiators’ set found at Hadrians Wall. Archeologists investigating a new find near Hadrian’s Wall have unearthed...

SingingHinny 04.04.11 6:08am
Penguin in the room "clearly a black and white issue"

Can anyone smell fish?...

BillyBitzer 03.04.11 10:48pm
Vajazzle fad not new according to newspapers

More than a decade ago the Press reported that young women and even girls as young as 12 had been having glitter applied to their private parts. OK, I know where me coat is...

Iscariot 03.04.11 10:47pm
Man who made breakfast in bed admits "I should have used the kitchen".

And you never can get rid of all the crumbs...

Psycadelic Squirrel 03.04.11 8:09pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Genetically modified cows to produce human babies

"As they can already produce human breast milk, this is the obvious next step," an NFU soikesman announced today. "And it will help revive the flagging farming industry."...

Tammy Flugh 03.04.11 7:19pm
Tammy Flugh
Irish told to have more babies

to reduce the amount owed by every man, woman and child in Ireland to just 23,000 Euos...

Ostsee 03.04.11 7:09pm
Literary historian discovers Lewis Carroll sequel, ‘Alice in Sunderland’

An academic at the University of Lancaster has uncovered a previously unheard of follow-up to Lewis Carroll’s acclaimed Alice series of children’s novels, this time set in the North East of...

Genghis Cohen 03.04.11 5:45pm
Heston Blumenthal Happy to Discuss Elephant in the Roux 2
thisisall1word 03.04.11 5:44pm
Egg cups stolen by poachers...

what a terrible yolk...

be reasonable 03.04.11 5:35pm
Al Fayed unveils statue of Claudia Winkleman at Fulham.

MADJEZ 03.04.11 3:52pm
US asked to "please explain" over bombing of Liberia 2
Nick McCarr 03.04.11 1:02pm
Elephant "no longer in room, believed on way to Venezuela" claims Hague 1
bonjonelson 03.04.11 12:17pm
Gadaffi fears he may lose lucrative sponsorship deal with Ray-Ban 0
Dumbnews 03.04.11 12:20am
Paul McCartney tells media that John Lennon held him back

In a candid interview with Melvyn Bragg, McCartney revealed that, with hindsight, he would never have been involved with John Lennon. “Tosser” says McCartney “the classics that I wrote after...

brownpaperreporter 02.04.11 9:18pm
Fears of global warming receded today

when scientists pointed out that the elephant in the room was actually a woolly mammoth...

Tammy Flugh 02.04.11 2:42pm
Tammy Flugh
Vince Cable ‘defects to Libya’

British Business Secretary Vince Cable is in Libya and “no longer willing” to work for the Conservative and Lib Dem regime, the Libyan Foreign Office says. "He travelled here under his own free...

02.04.11 2:23pm
Mary Evans