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Cameron announces cull of anyone below 6ft to achieve big society 0
Basil_B 03.06.11 11:20am
Lizard trained to balance on hind legs becomes world's first stand-up chameleon

[More soon]...

dicky37 03.06.11 10:54am
Racist organisation advertises for a Uniformity officer

Racism could become a victim of its own success, warned one of the key note speakers, at this years annual conference of mutual suspicion, who predicted that prejudice could become such a broad...

ronseal 03.06.11 10:26am
New vegetable crisis as broc-coli breaks out in school canteens...

"If I want iron in my diet I'll eat a nail", said 7-year old...

be reasonable 03.06.11 10:20am
be reasonable
Quality of 'Independent' news coverage 'variable', report scientists.

More soon? It depends...

be reasonable 03.06.11 10:17am
be reasonable
New strains of E coli alarm scientists

WORRIED scientists today warned that new mutations of the E coli virus are evolving in the wake of the latest outbreak of disease., Experts at the Institute of Communicable Diseases have already...

FraserWords 03.06.11 10:15am
FA appoint Max Clifford as Chairman

PR guru Max Clifford has accepted the position of Chairman of the English Football Association with immediate effect. A brief statement released by the FA announced the appointment and stated that...

Midfield Diamond 03.06.11 9:37am
Midfield Diamond
Mladic to be given illustrations to help him recognise war crimes tribunal 0
Steve Wilson 03.06.11 8:53am
Steve Wilson
Serbia and Pakistan through to final of 'International Hide and Seek'

More soon. If you can find me...

Mr Payne 03.06.11 8:07am
Mr Payne
BetFred Goodwin buys Tote for £120bn 0
03.06.11 7:27am
Greens blame lack of cats for Black Death 0
Griffin 03.06.11 6:46am
Drug committee wants all drugs legalised after massive drugs binge

An influential group of leading political and cultural thinkers, including Richard Branson and Kofi Annan, has called for the worldwide legalisation of all drugs after an "epic mash-up" at the Virgin...

Qoxiivi 03.06.11 5:23am
Al OPecia
Ronald Reagan 'too left wing for modern Republicans'...

"Christ on a bike" says everyone else...

be reasonable 02.06.11 9:48pm
be reasonable
Jewish entrepreneur launches Jewpon 0
Dumbnews 02.06.11 9:45pm
Two short planks complain about constant comparison to Premiership footballers. 0
be reasonable 02.06.11 9:45pm
be reasonable
Homeopathic cure for scepticism developed 30 years ago remains untested. 0
be reasonable 02.06.11 9:35pm
be reasonable
Fewer Parents Calling Their Newborn Son, 'Dave'

"He'll only get called 'twat' in the playground," said one couple...

Jesse Bigg 02.06.11 8:01pm
greg various
Aggressive German E.coli a novel bacterial "Master Race". More Soon. 0
Al OPecia 02.06.11 7:16pm
Al OPecia
Queen to acknowledge financial austerity by celebrating diamonique jubilee

Buckingham Palace has today announced that the Queen will alter her 60th anniversary celebrations in 2012 to recognise the fragile state of the economy. Following in the footsteps of the Duke and...

evilsuperstar 02.06.11 6:48pm
Latest On Foreign Secretary Hague's "Lone Tory Medal".......

..Presented to him by the leader of Wath-on-Dearne Council, South Yorkshire., Hague occasionally polishes it...

Jesse Bigg 02.06.11 6:01pm
Jesse Bigg
Embarrassment as US ‘Giant Monkey Alarm’ cancelled 56 years after order issued.

The US secretary of defense announced today that the Giant Monkey Alert has been downgraded to ‘Less likely than Godzilla’ so that the government can concentrate on the threat of global terrorism...

SingingHinny 02.06.11 5:08pm
Cameron to attack Spain after two hour launch threat of cucumbers is revealed. 0
Basil_B 02.06.11 4:15pm
Quick check on Sepp Blatter's address book clearly reveals he knows no shame 0
Basil_B 02.06.11 4:01pm
BBC news story wins coveted 'Dullest story ever' award

The BBC news story 'Three quarters of UK workers half an hour from work' has already been given the dullest news story this millenium award., 'We realise we may have gone a little early with this,'...

Screenie 02.06.11 3:57pm
be reasonable
Bank robber finds his PPI doesn't cover him for being jailed.

No house soon...

greg various 02.06.11 3:56pm
greg various
French supermarkets to negotiate surrender terms with new German E. coli strain 0
Qoxiivi 02.06.11 3:50pm
"Order 40 McDs burgers with fresh salad" say German extreme sport fanatics 0
thackaray 02.06.11 3:47pm
Football Internationals in shirt lifting ban

FIFA’s executive committee has today announced a series of new regulations governing international matches. One proposal that has now been adopted was submitted by the Federation of Uganda...

Dick Everyman 02.06.11 3:25pm
be reasonable
“New strain” of E-coli may be aware of irony. 0
SingingHinny 02.06.11 3:03pm
Glasgow Waitrose misprices beer at 1/3 price. Bargain at £5 per bottle. 0
charlies_hat 02.06.11 2:39pm