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Unborn child charged in rioting crackdown

A 30 week-old foetus is believed to be the youngest person charged in connection with the riots that swept England’s cities last week. The foetus which cannot be named because it doesn’t yet have...

theboot 16.08.11 12:13am
Everest join BlackBerry as official sponsors of future riots

Double glazing company, Everest Limited, have today been appointed as an official co-sponsor of any future riots. David Squires, CEO of the window repair and installation specialists, is delighted...

Qoxiivi 15.08.11 11:39pm
Fine print of "Buy one, get one FREE!" misunderstood by looters

After receiving one for free, looters return to buy one?...

Dumbnews 15.08.11 11:32pm
Mecca set to become tourist Blackpool 0
Nick McCarr 15.08.11 11:28pm
Nick McCarr
Reverse Masturbation Found to Cure Blindness

after being reminded by the bionic hand story (Qoxiivi) dredged up that one liner from previous long ago thread...

thisisall1word 15.08.11 11:21pm
Cameron assures public, 'it's not me, it's you'.

Prime Minister David Cameron today admitted to the British people that he feels their relationship isnt working out but that it is clearly their fault and not his. I hope we can still be friends he...

Darkbill 2.0 15.08.11 11:13pm
Balloon enquiry blames physics for accident 0
Screenie 15.08.11 11:05pm
Experts fear teenage boy fitted with bionic hand will be ‘blind within a year’ 6
Qoxiivi 15.08.11 10:30pm
Bottom 99% of multi-millionaire club criticise Buffet tax increase proposal

Anyone thing of any better/more angles (and some jokes) for this? Feel free to re-use if anyone wants American's super rich have criticised suggestions made by Warren Buffet, the incomprehensibly...

thisisall1word 15.08.11 10:20pm
'Supercop' says rioters suffer from low self-esteem 0
roybland 15.08.11 7:59pm
Shop looter says lessons learned, humblest day of life, time to move on 1
ronseal 15.08.11 5:07pm
Spanish bull kills third victim - a cow was quoted asking "What's his beef?"

On taking stock of the situation (*snort*), whoever called the bull "Mouse" needs to wear a sign around their neck proclaiming "I am Number 4"...

DavidEllisKent 15.08.11 4:42pm
Driver spotted using two mobile phones behind wheel is banned for 12 months.....

and is now a semi-finalist on Britain's Got Talent. Simon Cowell would like to see him using five phones and an Ipad, whilst driving backwards up a one way street at 70mph if he is to make it to the...

DavidEllisKent 15.08.11 3:45pm
Collective Punishment for Rioters. Councils are 'Up For It'.

Councils will evict a whole housing estate or block of flats and reduce it to rubble if one person living there is found to have taken part in the riots...

Dun Dunkin 15.08.11 3:42pm
Dun Dunkin
Milliband dismisses 'Boris's broom' shaped reflex hammer as knee-jerk gimmickry.

The Prime Minister's latest novel (and possibly hurriedly drafted) attempt to address some of the 'sick in our society' was met with a mixtue of bemusement and sheer disbelief by many in Parliament...

spoole2112 15.08.11 1:39pm
Bergerac critisized as "initially standing back and observing" Jersey attacks 0
charlies_hat 15.08.11 1:08pm
Aftermath: Where did the looters go?

In the week following the riots that began in Tottenham last weekend, police and community leaders have united to praise the rapid decrease in street crime, robbery and arson. In the scramble to...

Mr McDonald 15.08.11 12:12pm
Mr McDonald
God confirms conversion to Islam

In a move that's likely to cause more trouble than good, God, Founder and CEO of Christianity Inc, confirmed he's to leave the family firm and take up a position with a rival religion. In a...

Mrblacker 15.08.11 12:06pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Furniture shop arsonist "doesn't need to pay for 5 years"

despite no credit check being made...

Laughingstock 15.08.11 12:05pm
Satan Branded ‘Neighbour From Hell’

The comfortable suburban living room of elderly couple Jack and Edith is silent except the ticking of the mantelpiece clock. ‘It’s the music that gets me’ says Jack finally ‘Rock and Roll...

UnoEye 15.08.11 11:55am
Three England Football Stars Found With Yellow Flowering Agricultural Crop...

Police say it was Rape...

William Pumpton 15.08.11 11:39am
William Pumpton
Daily Mail reader says Britain's covetousness was once 'the envy of the world' 0
ronseal 15.08.11 10:59am
QPR fans charged 20p to take a leak.

Long suffering QPR fans are being charged 20p by their billionaire owners to spend a penny in the newly refurbished toilets. Supporters flooded into the ground ahead of the opening Premier League...

rebel not taken 15.08.11 10:56am
M'blud Starkey speak da truth, innit 1
ianslat 15.08.11 10:53am
To boost ratings, Olympic athletes to be randomnly picked from the spectators 1
Dumbnews 15.08.11 9:37am
Tea Party expels activist found awake, smelling coffee, reading writing on wall

Leading Tea Party activist Randy Shitforbrains was last night sensationally expelled from the movement., In a statement, a spokesman said Shitforbrains had been seen reading some writing he found...

FraserWords 15.08.11 9:24am
All the world's knowledge now available from YouTube tutorials 0
Dumbnews 15.08.11 6:01am
Qadaffi diagnosed with Prima Donna Syndrome 0
Dumbnews 15.08.11 5:27am
Oh its good this isnt it?Sunday see their all still in bed.

Like it! But could it be more topical?...

Debs 14.08.11 10:33pm
Betting firms collapse as Indian cricketers retire on winnings

Within hours of England’s emphatic series win over cricket world champions India, several major betting firms have called in the administrators after Indian players collected their winnings. While...

Des Custard 14.08.11 9:08pm