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Charlie Sheen to step into Berlusconi's role while trial takes place 0
Nick McCarr 07.03.11 12:31am
Nick McCarr
Advanced level English:The Internet.You are being harangued by a pompous

wankercunt at all times:Describe...

0
07.03.11 12:03am
Libya Blunder latest. 'Under Cover' UK Diplomats landed with israeli passports.

In what was a tit for tat snook at Israel for using british passports the british carry on team landed with several passports including israeli ones for cover. 'They are lucky we didn't shoot them....

0
Dun Dunkin 06.03.11 11:43pm
Dun Dunkin
Bullingdon Club Foreign Policy

Uk reputation lost on the playing fields of eton...

0
Dun Dunkin 06.03.11 11:36pm
Dun Dunkin
Radio Times editor resigns after 'Miranda' listed under 'comedy' gaffe

pathetic excuse "we don't have a 'tragedy' category" rejected by readers...

2
Ironduke 06.03.11 11:13pm
Ironduke
By Election prompts Lib Dems to argue for 'last past the post' voting system... 1
deskpilot3 06.03.11 11:03pm
deskpilot3
Billionaire's Prostate Gland Funds Research Institute

Petrochemicals billionaire David H. Koch's (pronounced "coke's") prostate gland attended the official opening of a new research center bearing its name. The Massachusetts Institute of Technology...

0
Q William Bacon 06.03.11 11:00pm
Q William Bacon
'We won't be intimidated' say owners of Small Hadron Collider

we used to be just The Hadron Collider in the good old days, before that Cern lot came swanking around with their bloody fancy tunnel said Alfonse L'Impellier as he showed our reporter around the...

6
Ironduke 06.03.11 10:39pm
Ironduke
Users complain of honesty on dating sites

It has been discovered that some people have been telling the truth in their online profiles on some dating and friendship sites. This shocking revelation has caused many online users to feel...

0
CunningLinguist 06.03.11 10:26pm
CunningLinguist
“Plastic daffodils just the beginning”, says boss of Lake District Tourism...

Brian Goldsmith, CEO of Lake District Tourism, is determined that visitors to Lakeland this Easter should not be disappointed. “We learned some valuable lessons back in 2007”, Brian acknowledged....

6
Doylem 06.03.11 10:26pm
After American baseball team buy player on spec from Japan

feel they have been ripped off as Saito as yet to appear...

0
06.03.11 10:24pm
Politicians admit competition isnt healthy

Breaking news from parliament today as a cross party think tank admitted that in a recession competition isnt just counterproductive but is also unwanted. The conclusion of the painstaking study was...

0
CunningLinguist 06.03.11 10:12pm
CunningLinguist
Complicated handshakes to be outlawed for anyone over twenty... 2
Doylem 06.03.11 9:23pm
Ironduke
Dail "Mail" 29/11/11: Princess Kate In Black Baby Shocker.

Palace insiders fear there is no chance to "pull a Harry" on the British public this time...

4
rikkor 06.03.11 8:57pm
rikkor
BBC journalists hoping Middle East protests spread to country with nicer beaches

The BBC’s leading correspondents have called for the ongoing pro-democracy riots in the Middle East to spread to a ‘nice, tropical country’, preferably with a well-developed tourist industry...

0
The Paper Ostrich 06.03.11 7:36pm
The Paper Ostrich
Trepanning "needed like a hole in the head" 0
beau-jolly 06.03.11 7:22pm
beau-jolly
Liberals blame low turnout for loss showing deep understanding of "proportional" 0
spa99ers 06.03.11 6:28pm
spa99ers
Death penalty re-introduced for people who say “simples”... 8
Doylem 06.03.11 1:38pm
ronseal
New Welsh laws: "Llaws".

Morag soon...

1
beau-jolly 06.03.11 12:23pm
Young sperm whale that died on kent beach deemed not to have had enough spunk 14
06.03.11 12:21pm
Obama announces dramatic reverse of US military foreign policy

..we've tried kicking off a few times now and its not gone so well for us, so we're gonna return to sitting back, letting the ruck build up a bit and then wellying in towards the end...

0
Ironduke 06.03.11 11:07am
Ironduke
Genetic engineers turn bacteria into performance-enhancing bugs.

Olympic officials working on screening methods...

1
Tammy Flugh 05.03.11 11:06pm
OldThingy
'Punning' dentist is struck off

A dentist who faced charges of making awful puns in front of patients and staff has been struck off. Phinbar Wilton, 35, from Wem, also giggled and laughed behind his hand at childish innuendos and...

4
beau-jolly 05.03.11 10:47pm
Worldwide silk shortage blamed on the size of footballers ties

Weather and climate change is not to blame for a worldwide shortage of silk, according to a report from the Silk Producers Council. Instead, footballers with wearing neck ties with fat knots are...

0
Mrblacker 05.03.11 9:23pm
Mrblacker
Police cuts mean Roxanne has to put red light back on 0
Ironduke 05.03.11 8:53pm
Ironduke
Cameron sends Clegg to persuade Gaddafi into coaltion government... 0
deskpilot3 05.03.11 8:46pm
deskpilot3
Product placement marks the end of the road for the Acme Corporation...

“It’s a sad day for this famous and fictional old company”, said Frank Kerfuffle, long-time CEO of the Acme Corporation, which is currently filing for bankruptcy. “We have had a long and...

7
Doylem 05.03.11 6:57pm
Doylem
Libyan regime struck off for using performance enhancing thugs...

I've been Tim Vine and goodnight!...

2
be reasonable 05.03.11 6:56pm
be reasonable
Doctors discover vacinne for Bieber Fever

Medical Officers at the World Health Organisation have announced that they now have the means to eradicate Bieber Fever within a generation. Since the 1960’s, virologists have struggled to keep...

7
Milo Shame 05.03.11 6:00pm
Milo Shame
BBC commissions new programmes on porn, pain, pools and profanity...

Jacqui Smith was commissioned by the BBC to look at the, ahem, ‘adult entertainment industry’, on the flimsy pretext that her husband rented a couple of films, which, embarrassingly, found their...

0
Doylem 05.03.11 5:23pm
Doylem