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Ex-BP boss appointed to oversee moves to make Whitehall "more business like' 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

'Now Parliament Square has been cleared we can start drilling'...

Scotland launches next world cup song - ah fukken hate england 2
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

The Scottish FA has announced the winner of its competition to write a new world cup song. The contest organisers asked people to write a song that represents the modern, vibrant, multi cultural...

All relationships a bit shit really, admits relationship counsellor 3
la maga 4 years

Thomas Narwhal, a relationship counsellor from Devon, today admitted that relationships really don't have much going for them. "It's not something we generally like to say, y'know?" he said. "Our...

Kew Gardens not worth the wait, admits dyslexic 0
Mr.3374 4 years

More soon., Sorry if bindun...

Police amazed at improved driving standards 0
Mr.3374 4 years

"Hardly anyone has the red cross of shame now, our drivers are almost as good as Scotland's now, where red crosses were a very rare sight, and the drivers often subjected to abuse for being of that...

French Border Agency urges FIFA to reconsider stance on Gaul line technology 2
AJT 4 years
New revolutionary technology automates the bloody overthrow of the ruling order 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

A new computer system from Castro Solutions is to revolutionise British society - by catalysing change, enhancing the class struggle and automating the process of barricade storming, ensuring that it...

Season long study by ITV commentator finds that first goal was 'very important' 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

A new study conducted by Matt Smith of ITV has rocked the football world to its foundations by revealing that the first goal of a football match is 'very important'. In a five year study, covering...

Home Office spending cuts: CCTV in UK cities replaced by 'creepy' portraits 0
thackaray 4 years

As part of cost cutting measures, the Home Secretary announced plans to replace costly CCTV with portraits that give people the "willies" and make the ordinary public feel safer, in the knowledge...

England's national team is envy of world, says press officer Alistair Campbell 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

Alistair Campbell, the England team's new press officer has been briefing against critics of the squad's performance. 'Listen, mate, I've been listening to people and what they say is this. England...

In the event of tied leadership contest, Miliband Brothers to Roshambo 0
AJT 4 years
England backlash latest: Brand Beckham takes on a new meaning 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
UK Coalition Issues calls for "Positive thinking!" 0
hero2zero 4 years

Dave & Nick launched a Campaign For Positive Thinking today, "It could be just the thing we need to carry us through these troubled times" they told members of the press, voices a picture of...

Ashley Cole latest: says Kylie Minogue is NOT the new Queen Mother 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

Ashley Cole has upset a whole new section of British society with a new display of barbarity. The unpopular left back has devastated Britain's Heat-reading masses by claiming that Kylie Minogue is...

Ashley Cole latest: claims Gordon Brown 'Quite approachable and easy going' 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
Ashley Cole latest: now he claims MPs' expenses justified 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
Prince Charles says: 'I'm just like you - the ordinary people' 3
PluckyMunky 4 years
CRB to investigate as Lord Mayor's trousers fall down at chidren's event. 0
pinxit 4 years

'It wouldn't stand up in court'...

Govt. endorses 'Oliver approach' on kids' meals. 9000 Beadles to be appointed. 0
pinxit 4 years

"More?!" anon...

Clarke unveils Travelodge as 'radical prison alternative'. 0
pinxit 4 years

Recidivism to be 'cut at a stroke'...

ITV HD Viewers bemused 0
Zen 4 years

Why aren't England in the World cup quarter finals ? We watched then beat Germany 1-0 on ITV HD,,,,,...

God does watch you wanking, quite likes it when you do that thing 0
la maga 4 years

Right, I need to get off this site and go and do some work...

Budget thoroughly analysed, summarised for the busy worker: Fuck you all 0
la maga 4 years
Terrorists meeting secretly in Art Gallery "fidgety" about eyes following them 0
thackaray 4 years
New imaging techniques allow old photos of Elephant Man to become 2D 0
thackaray 4 years
"Fairy tale" castle visitors entertained by footage of Rooneys' winning goal 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Fire brigade send in long haired lady to rescue "Fairytale Castle" visitors... 0
virtuallywill 4 years

more later...

Disaster as England team's plane lands safely 2
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

The England team that crashed out of the world cup has failed to repeat the process at Heathrow Airport, touching down uneventfully at Terminal Five. 'Where's Al Qaeda when you need them?' said one...

Wimbledon 1
AlexR 4 years

Pavlos Joseph spotted heading towards Serena Williams’ dressing room. More soon...

Nick Clegg can wear Spain kit in comfort now 1
simonjmr 4 years