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Teachers Responsible for Most of England’s Problems

A new report by Ofsted published this week suggests that teachers are actually responsible for most of England’s major social problems. At a time when more and more parents are abdicating...

LizzyG 14.02.11 6:49pm
mr blue
Highways Agency to be billed by lorry firm that filled in M3 mistake 0
Tammy Flugh 14.02.11 6:40pm
Tammy Flugh
M3 'will need resurfacing after tarmac spillage scraped off' - Highways Agency. 1
malgor 14.02.11 6:36pm
mr blue
Swiss Bank apologises for Mubaraks delayed resignation

but they just could not transfer the money any quicker to his Saudi bank account after attempts to buy the Sky and Man United had failed...

4ty2 14.02.11 5:55pm
More one-armed bandits expected as RAF cut backs affect a quarter of all pilots 0
timyarby 14.02.11 5:12pm
Stephen Hawkings accepts BAFTA on behalf of Brian Cox

I would like to accept this award on behalf of Professor Brian Cox. Unfortunately, he could not make it because he is too busy jetsetting around the world, visiting Puerto Rico, Hawaii, the Canaries,...

Sinnick 14.02.11 4:10pm
Andre Rieu to cover The Prodigy's 'Smack My Bitch Up' at Royal Wedding

Prince Charles will perform the vocals, but has told us that he is "dissapointed that he was not allowed to sing his first choice, Elton John's 'Candle in the Wind'...

ruthless1 14.02.11 3:10pm
Cameron accidentally takes truth drug

Visiting a top-secret military location today, David Cameron accidentally took a truth drug instead of a cup of tea., 'This secret military installation is under the new Olympic stadium,' he...

John Wiltshire 14.02.11 3:02pm
John Wiltshire
Fans ready to bid for Wayne Rooney's tears...

“Selling players’ body fluids is not a new phenomenon”, insists George Gillette, head of Novel Marketing Opportunities at Gilhooly, Gilhooly and Sump, “and, as with so many other aspects of...

Doylem 14.02.11 2:49pm
Big Society success as community choir takes control of meals on wheels service

Prime Minister David Cameron has hailed the success of his Big Society programme, citing the example of South Oxhley Community Choir, which has been appointed to provide local meals on wheels...

Fin Robertson 14.02.11 2:20pm
John Wiltshire
Mubarak to be UN "peace envoy" at UK derby matches

"Whatever the colour, allegiance, religious belief of UK football fans it will be my job to ensure that derby matches occur without incidence, and rival fans beating several shades out of each other....

simonjmr 14.02.11 2:11pm
Man goes into pub, doesn't do anything remotely odd 0
Oxbridge 14.02.11 1:33pm
Mubarak's Assets Frozen By The Swiss Government. No More Toblerone For Him Now.

Now Sharm El-Sheikh has gone down in history as a last 'resort', taking the accolade from Weston super Mare for the first time in 30 years. Oh no, sorry, wrong type of 'resort'. When told of this...

Selma 14.02.11 1:28pm
Groupon deies they ar a complete bunch of shits ,that will take another few 0
14.02.11 1:12pm
Jockey Club Upgrade Horseshoe Threat Level from 'Lucky' to 'Lethal'

Neigh, neigh, thricetime neigh...

pinxit 14.02.11 1:09pm
Valentine's Day - police called to stop fights at petrol stations 8
John Wiltshire 14.02.11 1:07pm
BAFTA wins BAFTA for Best BAFTA 1
Duncan Biscuit 14.02.11 12:42pm
Saudi people demand reform as they realise their leaders are no great sheikhs. 4
wallster 14.02.11 11:35am
"What goes around, comes around", admits Wall of Death operator... 0
Doylem 14.02.11 11:31am
Gay couples win the right to bicker as much as heterosexual couples

The UK’s Supreme Court has ruled that gay couples have as much of a right to huff, make a scene in a public place and not talk to their partner in restaurants but be over friendly with the waiter,...

Milo Shame 14.02.11 10:55am
Milo Shame
Seedless Grapes face bleak future

Chilean Botanist Conseula Hanandes confirmed today that the Chilean captive breeding programme had failed. Speaking at the International Botanical Congress she warned that the much loved Seedless...

14.02.11 9:49am
Critics says cuts mean the Big Society idea will be neither big nor clever 0
Duncan Biscuit 14.02.11 9:41am
Duncan Biscuit
Office of Fair Trading warns of hoopla stall scam 0
Duncan Biscuit 14.02.11 9:41am
Duncan Biscuit
Post Office counter staff plan strike ballot after go slow passes unnoticed 0
Duncan Biscuit 14.02.11 9:40am
Duncan Biscuit
Justin Bieber Hits Puberty

NEW YORK - At the final stop on his tour of the North American continent, Bieber punched annoying guy, Rod Puberty. An on-stage dancer at the gig in Central Park said this: "This annoying guy who...

Notmeno 14.02.11 9:36am
Rubbish bin 'not very good'. 0
Zadok the second 14.02.11 9:32am
Zadok the second
Belgium picks up Ben Ali on a Free

With the current flux in international dictators, Belgium has plunged into the transfer market and picked up Tunisia's Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali on a free transfer after his current deal expired in the...

acwanaut 14.02.11 9:31am
Iiiiiii..... www....

Iiiiiii.. ww.w., 10 hours later zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Gerontius 14.02.11 9:29am
Rooney fined for not spitting at all throughout a whole match


pinxit 14.02.11 9:22am
Jordan announces new book "Vajazzle" to launch in spring 0
simonjmr 14.02.11 9:09am