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“Bahrain GP will go ahead despite human rights abuses” - F1 boss from China 0
Yikes 16.04.12 8:29am
Horoscopes for April

Aries, Next Tuesday will be forever etched in your memory for what will become known simply as "The Talcum Powder Incident". Taurus, You hold a party this month to celebrate the 3rd anniversary of...

seymour totti 16.04.12 7:06am
Pall cast over Aintree barbecue after news emerges of death of cow

The first barbecue of the year at 17 Ranham Close, Aintree was tinged with sadness this weekend as the joy of tucking into char-grilled quarter pounder burgers and steak sandwiches was muted by news...

DrTurmoil 16.04.12 6:18am
RSPCA concern for dumb animals as another footballer dies on the pitch. 0
MADJEZ 15.04.12 11:38pm
Premiership will stage season's 1 minute silences "all in one go"

The opening  matches of next season's Premiership will all start with seventeen minute silences or seventeen minutes of respectful applause, in a move to minimise disruption later in the season....

nickb 15.04.12 10:23pm
Winston's bogey commemorated 2
charlies_hat 15.04.12 10:22pm
Make-A-Wish Deny Child's "Cure Me," Request 1
Hooch 15.04.12 10:20pm
Health chiefs “close to a decision” on this summer’s epidemic

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley laughed off claims that the government was shockingly unprepared to cause the necessary levels of panic this summer, hinting that advisers were close to deciding which...

grumblechops 15.04.12 9:56pm
Gadaffi issues rallying cry from beyond the grave

Gadaffi issues rallying cry from beyond the grave Reports have confirmed that Colonel Gadaffi has issued a statement to his followers through the man who was formally child star Haley Joel Osment. ...

yens123 15.04.12 7:45pm
Banksy on Arts funding cuts: 'The writing is on the wall for street artists'

more later. I do apologise. Hat, coat...

dvo4fun 15.04.12 7:14pm
North Korean Rocket Scientists reassigned to brain surgery

"Obviously, you're no rocket scientists," Kim Jong-un declares...

wwwiz 15.04.12 6:21pm
LGBT community to begin ironic bus-based anti-religious campaign

Finally, after years of abuse and homophobic vilification, the gay community has announced it now has greater numbers than hardcore Christians in the UK, and plans to begin an ironic retaliation...

kga6 15.04.12 5:50pm
Ken Jong-Il Cries at Praise from Workers for Glorious Leader of The People 1
ronseal 15.04.12 4:44pm
Banksy Moon peace graffiti fails to stop Afghanistan bloodshed 1
nickb 15.04.12 2:48pm
War widow convinced ‘time now right’ to rejoin Doncaster swinging scene

War Widow, Penny Swinton, whose husband Mark died tragically in the Afghan conflict, feels her decision to to recommence the hi-octane swinging lifestyle the couple once enjoyed together would have...

Gary Stanton 15.04.12 1:34pm
Chelsea FC: limit on charity donations from the wealthy would kill the club

Chelsea FC joined the clamour of charities claiming that the upper limit on tax relief for donations would kill the club completely. A spokesman said "for a number of years, Chelsea FC has depended...

steve_l 15.04.12 12:15pm
Bono launches charity for men who ‘can’t urinate while someone is next to them'

Pop philanthropist Bono has finally found a new cause to back, with no room for people to accuse him of hypocrisy. Drawing on his own reluctance to tinkle the ivory when there’s anyone within...

15.04.12 11:24am
Al OPecia
Mechanics happy to be 'Travel Lodge recommended'

Following years of being ranked by mechanics from The AA and RAC, Hotel group Travel Lodge have decided to start ranking Motor Garages. A maximum of 5 stars can be achieved as mechanics are judged on...

Perks 15.04.12 8:02am
Robin Gibb 'Stayin alive' say his doctors. 0
MADJEZ 14.04.12 11:53pm
Mother in law Gets holiday Gift

Getting my mother-in-law to accept a free foreign holiday was easy. The hard part was convincing her Dignitas was Swiss for spa...

GillsImp 14.04.12 8:38pm
Two candidates put down in race to become Mayor of London

Two well known politicians have died after falling at a major hurdle in the race to become Mayor of London. Conservative Skye Terrier Boris Johnson, and balding Labour bulldog, Ken Livingstone, were...

kga6 14.04.12 8:36pm
Cameron sends letter to Jesse from B.U.R.M.A. 1
yussle 14.04.12 6:54pm
Painter declares Love for Girlfriend

He was heard to Say "I love you with all my art"...

GillsImp 14.04.12 6:48pm
Bee Keeper in France Banned from wearing a Veil 0
GillsImp 14.04.12 6:39pm
Your handy guide to the horses that might get shot at this year's Grand National

With the countdown underway to Sunday's Grand National, our pundit considers the form for Britain's favourite waste of horses. Heardthekneepopinbootle: 12-1. Much fancied last year, has let herself...

14.04.12 6:06pm
Missing Grand National winner found in centre of Liverpool on bricks 0
Perks 14.04.12 5:56pm
PM tells Aung San Suu Kyi “I’m a poet and I know it” as he shares rummy limerick

Embarrassed aides were temporarily lost for words when British PM David Cameron launched into a rendition of “There was a young lady from Rangoon” during his historic meeting with Burmese...

Yikes 14.04.12 3:51pm
Robin Gibb's temperature "Expected to peek on evening of 14th Apr" 1
beau-jolly 14.04.12 2:23pm
Peter Andre Uses Urinal Without Camera Crew Present

Publicity-shy Pop superstar, Peter Andre shocked his camera crew yesterday with an un-filmed visit to a public toilet in Camden, whilst on walkabout looking for some adoring fans to feature on his TV...

deluca 14.04.12 12:04pm
Man discovers he is spambot after repeated failiure to fill out Captcha form

A probation officer from Surrey has accidentally stumbled upon his true identity as a ‘spambot’ – built to randomly email strangers with barely legible special offers and enticing opportunities...

Skylarking 14.04.12 10:16am