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Barhain seeks death of tinpot dictators - bernie ecclestone cancels GP

Pint sized pocket napoleon of pointless car racing and petrol-headed pirelli-smelling pimp of pretty twice-his-size gold diggers, bernie "how the hell did he get to be in charge" ecclestone, has...

wolfie 22.02.11 10:47am
Why flattery gets you nowhere.

It's short for flat battery. More concatenated nouns soon...

malgor 22.02.11 10:36am
be reasonable
Downing Street denies coalition cabinet is turning into "Alice in Wonderland"

Senior Government Officials have today strenously denied that David Cameron has been using Lewis Carroll's novels as the basis for cabinet appointments. Civil Servants have for some time have...

simonjmr 22.02.11 10:22am
Entertainment News:

On the 30th Anniversary of the first recorded telling of the joke about Chris Rea and Dire Straits collaborating on a single to be released under the name of Dire Rea; meat wearing queen of pop Lady...

wallster 22.02.11 10:21am
be reasonable
Couple divorce after dating site fail to identify them as a match

It is reported that Mr and Mrs Richards had seen the television campaign for the dating site E-Harmony. The adverts claim that a scientific approach using 29 dimensions is adopted to determine...

cuckoowatoo 22.02.11 9:55am
Reckless idiot condemned for trying to make TV documentary without a celebrity

A TV production company that tried to make a factual documentary without a celebrity presenter was rescued yesterday, saving them from almost certain oblivion. It took Christopher Biggins and Leslie...

ronseal 22.02.11 9:49am
Gerry Adams says his election campaign 'is a blast'.

Gerry Adams today said that his campaign in the Northern Ireland elections 'is a real blast.', 'I don't think it's going to bomb,' he said confidentally. 'It's firing on all cylinders, and in the...

John Wiltshire 22.02.11 9:20am
John Wiltshire
Secret service say '7/7 wasn't our fault - we were too incompetent to stop it.'

The head of the British secret services, known only as Sir Basil Harrington of Mews Place, Haslemere, Surrey GU17 4BQ, has angrily denied they were in any way responsible for 7/7 (or any other...

John Wiltshire 22.02.11 9:12am
John Wiltshire
For better or verse, Totnes drinkers look forward to a poetry-free pint...

Frank Fielding’s dreary poems have divided opinions in Totnes, a place where a man with a cravat, floppy hair, a strange, plonking voice and a notebook full of doggerel can feel at home. Some...

Doylem 22.02.11 9:01am
Instead of a knighthood Bruce Forsyth settles for marrying the Queen 1
22.02.11 8:32am
Ozzies recognize a national fugitive in Lake Windemere: The Bunyip

The Bunyip is now thought to be the leader of Al Qaeda, clearly [i]en route[/i] for Scotland.more soon, as extradition requests proliferate...

Hunter F. Thompson 22.02.11 7:32am
Hunter F. Thompson
New dating site makes it easier to find lots of people not interested in you 0
Dumbnews 22.02.11 1:48am
Protestors demand Gaddafi improve his image with new sunglasses 0
Dumbnews 22.02.11 1:19am
Gandalf steps down in protest misunderstanding. More soon. 0
malgor 22.02.11 1:09am
Bill Gates tweats, "We must defeat Apple! ... Sent from my iPad" 0
Dumbnews 21.02.11 11:09pm
Gadaff-ugout chant Libyan protesters. 0
MADJEZ 21.02.11 10:35pm
wacky races start with army surplus special

4ty2 21.02.11 10:25pm
9/11 Actually 11/9, 7/7 Unaffected 1
21.02.11 9:55pm
mr blue
Cameron Confirms That 'Big Society' Relaunch A Flop.....

.As he jumps to his next gimmick - checking out the sand in Egypt for George Wimpey., Yippee!...

Jesse Bigg 21.02.11 8:18pm
Jesse Bigg
Mouse to move in with Deputy PM, The Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has announced his decision to adopt a stray mouse, which has been causing...

JamieTea 21.02.11 7:37pm
50 Year Old Blokes Concede the Dwarf on Singing Ringing Tree

Used to "scare the beejazus" out of them. Speaking from behind his sofa, Jeremy "X" was annoyed that it had now popped up on Youtube, opening old wounds. "There was a weird big fish and a bear too"...

21.02.11 6:25pm
Glenn Hoddle first choice star in Subo biopic.

Failing that Glen Ford, Glen Campbell or Glen Fiddich...

Ian Searle 21.02.11 5:26pm
Ian Searle
Lady Gaga following a whiskey only "drunk diet", she's already lost three days. 0
Ian Searle 21.02.11 5:21pm
Ian Searle
Libyan protestors are advised if they see Gadaffi, duck. 4
21.02.11 3:22pm
John Wiltshire
‘The King’s Speech’ – 'too much killing and not enough gags' say L.A. critics

Despite being nominated for 15 BAFTAS and destined for success at the Oscars ‘The Kings Speech’ has been condemned by some film critics for over-glorifying violence and promoting race hatred.,...

Gerontius 21.02.11 3:21pm
John Wiltshire
Mouth of Hell to Open in Central London.... Maw soon 0
AndyOverhead 21.02.11 2:58pm
Robin Williams playing Mrs Doubtfire to play Susan Boyle in new biopic... 0
Doylem 21.02.11 2:54pm
BBC statement on claims that Real Hustle was faked was a fake, it was claimed. 0
Tammy Flugh 21.02.11 1:04pm
Tammy Flugh
Well duh, BBC tells viewers conned by show about conmen

The BBC today responded to allegations that The Real Hustle a show about conmen had attempted to fool viewers by using actors instead of members of the public. Dawn Garnet, BBC 3 Head of Light...

Darkbill 2.0 21.02.11 12:29pm
mr blue
Libyan civil war: 'I say, terribly sorry to chuck this grenade at you, old bean'

'Oh, don't mention it, old chap - I've still got one leg left.'...

John Wiltshire 21.02.11 12:25pm
mr blue