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Dyslexic director to remake stephen King classic, The Shindig. 3
guffaw 23.07.11 11:26am
guffaw
Thatcher and Tebbit in fight to the death over rights to Hess’s grave plot

Margaret Thatcher and Norman Tebbit are to engage in mortal combat for the right to be buried in Rudolf Hess’s recently vacated grave. The contest, due to be broadcast on Sky pay-per-view in...

10
Qoxiivi 23.07.11 8:10am
button
Cherie Blair admits it was her fellatio skills that won over Tony Blair and

forgives her dad for his harsh life lessons...

0
guffaw 23.07.11 7:59am
guffaw
Virgin Galactic to charge space tourists extra for fiery crash 0
Dumbnews 23.07.11 1:44am
Dumbnews
In 2015 China will be poised to take over from America as the worlds Asshole AKA 0
guffaw 23.07.11 1:41am
guffaw
New scandal rocks Fleet Street: Daily Mail might be biased against foreigners.

In the wake of the phone hacking scandal, new accusations are being made against pseudo-tabloid The Daily Mail that their stories could be interpreted as having an anti-foreigner slant. After...

0
Corrigan 23.07.11 1:32am
Corrigan
Unable to find "the one", single man settles for the "one third" 0
Dumbnews 22.07.11 11:49pm
Dumbnews
Morrissey children’s album flops

Former Smiths frontman Morrissey says he is ‘currently contemplating the warm, welcoming embrace of early retirement’ after his album of songs for children ‘Hello Young Persons Everywhere’...

11
Skylarking 22.07.11 11:02pm
Ado
Entire Fake China discovered in Far East

Elaborate counterfeit schemes are nothing new within the far east, but the latest scam to be uncovered has amazed many at it's sheer brazen audacity - an entirely fake version of the country China...

7
bonjonelson 22.07.11 10:48pm
guffaw
Competition heats up as gas-powered broadband explodes onto market

British Gas has announced plans to enter the competitive market for high speed broadband. The service is currently dominated by companies using electricity, but bloody-minded industry insiders claim...

13
22.07.11 9:41pm
Kate's dress goes on display. Miraculous healing claimed by hem-toucher.

More later...

0
dvo4fun 22.07.11 9:37pm
dvo4fun
NB contributor finds nothing amusing about the bombings and shootings in Norway

No more to say...

0
JohnA 22.07.11 9:29pm
JohnA
Rich Harvard dropout seeks tidy UK cell mate. No 'A' levels, French or Greek

James Murdoch could be considering an advert in "Inside Times"...

0
thesnug 22.07.11 9:03pm
thesnug
COSH 4 GOLD defends 'robust' acquisition methods

As prices reached record highs this week, scrap gold dealers have been accused of increasingly strenuous tactics in procuring the commodity from the public. "It's not enough that they saturate the...

5
f0zz 22.07.11 7:27pm
writinginbsl
Russia reduces drink-drive limit to “Blathered”

More shoon...

5
beau-jolly 22.07.11 7:19pm
writinginbsl
BBC presenters accused of gaffe-fixing after "C*ntgate" probe

In another blow to the BBC’s credibility, police are said to be acting on information received from a News of the World journalist who alleges that the recent spate of on-air gaffes from BBC...

11
Tristan Shout 22.07.11 6:14pm
arnied
Hess's graves actually relocated to Scotland "a boost for tourist industry"

Today Alex Salmond, Scotland's First Minister, announced that far from being burned and destroyed, Rudolf Hess's remains will be placed on display in Scotland. Alex Salmond said that Hess has had a...

2
steve_l 22.07.11 6:05pm
arnied
Another quiet day on The MeasurEx trade floor as kilogram still worth 2.2 pound

For the 10,000 day running, the value of the pound refused to budge against the kilogram, leading to a becalmed trading floor at the Institute of Weight and Measures Exchange (MeasurEX) in...

15
ronseal 22.07.11 5:59pm
Corrigan
Irony 'not lost' as most recent handler of Tiger's balls accused of disloyalty. 0
f0zz 22.07.11 5:52pm
f0zz
R Patts: Twilight star hospitalised after pouting injury.

News has emerged that tween idol Robert Pattinson suffered a serious pouting injury on the set of his new film ‘Cosmopolis.’ The incident was apparently hidden from the press at the time so as...

5
Corrigan 22.07.11 5:13pm
Lapland on terror alert after Al Qaeda threaten attacks against The Great Santa 0
bonjonelson 22.07.11 4:28pm
bonjonelson
News Corporation scandal engulfs Big Issue seller

 ,  , The scandal engulfing Rupert Murdoch's newspaper empire has reached as far as Jeb 'Digger' Murdoch who sells the Big Issue outside Truro's M&S store.  ,  , Mr Murdoch, 25, says that...

0
roybland 22.07.11 4:22pm
roybland
Nuromol business model exposed by pet parrot suggesting cheaper alternative

Norman, a talking parrot, from West Bromwich has exposed the sophisticated business model deployed by the makers of Nuromol, a revolutionary treatment for aches and pains and has suggested a cheaper...

3
antharrison 22.07.11 3:30pm
antharrison
Pilot whales grounded in shallows have licenses revoked 0
pere floza 22.07.11 3:21pm
pere floza
Horse Guards Parade to be refilled after neighbour's cat shits in sand 3
button 22.07.11 3:02pm
button
Woman who claimed her lover was like a tiger in the bedroom has head torn 0
guffaw 22.07.11 2:20pm
guffaw
Tarantino remake 'Pulp Faction' to feature NotW malcontents. 0
f0zz 22.07.11 2:00pm
f0zz
God admits weather is his revenge on the English for Henry VIII

God today admitted he’s been using the weather to take the piss out of the English to pay them back for King Henry the Eighth., Between barely suppressed fits of giggles, the Almighty revealed...

29
FraserWords 22.07.11 1:40pm
FraserWords
Hacking headlines

Telegraph: “ROYAL FAMILY’S PHONES HACKED” Times: “PRIME MINISTER’S PHONE HACKED” Financial Times: “BANK OF ENGLAND GOVERNOR’S PHONE HACKED” Star: “JORDAN GUTTED BY PHONE...

1
Son of Barnabas 22.07.11 1:19pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
"Me???? Hacker????"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/content/images/2007/08/31/yesminister1_124x69.jpg "YES, PRIME MINISTER!"...

0
Son of Barnabas 22.07.11 1:10pm
Son of Barnabas