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Simon Cowell To Be Presented With Special BAFTA Hidden in Flaming Paper Bag 0
thisisall1word 4 years

childish image attached

Fresh Fears That BP Oil Spill Could Hit Democratic States Within Fortnight 0
thisisall1word 4 years
Very obese people asked to volunteer to plug oil hole 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

BP offers new slogan: 'Fat for oil'...

Soul of English cricket destroyed as Test Match Special team receive no cakes 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
New report claims that beer is good for you...or does it? 0
Duff 4 years

It has been claimed that new research published today is sending mixed messages, and has the health and piss-artist communities in a spin. Doctors and winos alike are reeling as the paper, the result...

Local bicycle commuter invents faster way to get around, called an automobile 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Isle of Wight’s premier department store burned to the ground... 1
Ian Searle 4 years

damage could run to tens of pounds...

Cameron to get rid of “cloak of secrecy”, but he’s keeping the sorting hat. 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Prince Charles nominated to be next German President. Hopefully much more soon. 2
Ostsee 4 years
Local man bored after finished reading the entire Internet 1
Dumbnews 4 years
BP to now use old Marie Claire's, ginsters pasties to block oil well 2
simonjmr 4 years
FA admit shirt blunder ahead of World Cup 1
Mrblacker 4 years

The Football Association says it's miscalculated the number of shirts Fabio Capello's squad will require for the World Cup Finals in South Africa. Calculations be experts at Lancaster Gate have...

After two own goals Japan regrets including players from kamikaze pilot school. 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Lunar Taff! Wales won space race to the moon 12
Ddigon o broblem 4 years

NASA have continued to make no comment in response to claims Wales won the space race to the moon. Film reels recently retrieved from a redundant cinema in Bala have shown black and white footage of...

Genuine Irishman overheard in Dublin saying "to be sure, to be sure". 0
Nick McCarr 4 years

When informed of his lapse he exclaimed "Begorrah!"...

Danny Alexander Faces Boots Meal Loophole Claims 0
Andrew 4 years

On his first day as Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Liberal Democrat MP Danny Alexander is facing charges that he avoided paying more than £1.30 on the price of a sandwich, drink and snack item in...

BP stops using Clearasil, pinning hopes on blackhead plugging greasy pore 0
QorbeQ 4 years

More 'what were they thinking!?!' leak-fixing ideas soon...

David Icke claims neighbour is a space alien 0
Duff 4 years

Former BBC presenter and total barmpot, David Icke, is back in the news and this time your guess is as good as mine. Icke, one half of the iconic [i]River Deep Mountain High[/i], sixties singing...

Apple release device that lets you watch shows without downloading called a TV 2
Dumbnews 4 years
BP engineers blame failure of oil spill fixes on insufficent supply of donuts 0
Dumbnews 4 years
US Military introduce new suicide bombs for green cards exchange program 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Forbes declares Google's business model of irrelvant ads a smashing success 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Just 3 weeks til UK's jingoistic footy writers hand in jingoism backlash pieces 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

England's jingo-istic football writers face their most important test yet in under three weeks. Because that is when they're due to hand in their Jingoism backlash pieces. The 'reverse ferret' is...

World Cup latest: Not a question of 'If' we win but who gets to be an alcoholic 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

England have already won the world cup in South Africa, according to footballing experts in Fleet Street. The only questions that need resolving now, according to insiders, concern which players...

Carrie & gang plan one last movie before quitting: Sex and the Senility 1
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

The producers of Sex and the City have denied that the series has gone on too long, and promise to produce at least one more film spin off of the popular series., However, in recognition of the...

Third Time Lucky - Germany Triumphant in Europe 4
Doctor Moptop 4 years

Fraulein Lena Mayer-Laundromat has won the European Song Contest with a song entitled Satellite(Uber Alles). The United Kingdom finished last out of the 1,355 European member states who entered. A...

Dan Dare has the shits in space 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

In - flight toilet emergency...

Successful, ex-Tory Leader, Iain Duncan Smith, says 'Laws could be back' 1
PluckyMunky 4 years

Everyone relieved by unequivocal support from major player...

Mandelson honoured as The Mandy becomes the new unit of ministerial disgrace 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

The Mandy has become the new measuring unit of ministerial disgrace, it was announced by an all party comitttee on Lobby journalism yesterday. It marks a lifetime of involvement in political scandals...

Vince shows excitement over Laws 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

First daffodils, And long excited Cables, And candle lights, A little corner table, And still my heart has wings, These foolish things remind me of you...