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'Depictions make me look fat' admits Mohammed 6
Barrel o Biscuits 4 years

The prophet Mohammed, the light-giving lamp and praiseworthy messenger of God, has revealed the real reason why images of the founder of Islam are generally forbidden under Islamic law: they...

Executing retard 'sets dangerous precedent' warns Bush 4
jp1885 4 years
Coalition plans to outsource Afghan War falter for lack of 'serious' bidders 1
la maga 4 years

Government plans to privatise the War in Afghanistan have got off to an inauspicious start, with a lack of bidders the government regards as 'serious'. Only two bids have so far been submitted, one...

Internet crashes as Spinning Ballerina throws up 0
pinxit 4 years
Blockbuster Application for Bankruptcy Pending Further Proof of ID 0
thisisall1word 4 years

Blockbuster' application for Bbnkruptcy has been turned down after the video and DVD hire company could not sufficiently prove that it was indeed the company it claimed to be., The US dept of...

Daily Mail anger after Terrorists treated to fun day out at taxpayers expense 3
alexc 4 years

The Daily Mail is up in arms after it was revealed taxpayers money was being used to treat known terrorists to fun days out around Britain., The paper’s worst nightmares were confirmed when...

Kids in Anfield area of Liverpool revoke amnesty on leaving Hodgson's car alone. 0
Basil_B 4 years

'We'll show him what losing at home to Northampton does. From now on he'll have to pay like every other fucker does round here to have there car looked after' said a shell suited scouse street urchin...

Wales greenlight games trip : accomodation no worse than those in the Rhondda 0
simonjmr 4 years
John Higgins unveiled as new Pakistan cricket team manager 0
simonjmr 4 years
Strauss blasts Atherton for interupting cup lifting after triumphant series win 1
Basil_B 4 years

An irate Andrew Strauss berated Sky Sports presenter Michael Atherton today for calling him over for an interview just as the victorious english captain was about to lift the trophy for his teams one...

French workforce bravely thwart Al-Qaeda threat to country's transport network.. 0
Oh Danny Boy 4 years
Calcutta Black Hole 'preferable option' to Delhi say Athletics Committee 0
pinxit 4 years
Arsene Wenger Helps Police with E-Fit after Witnessing a Crime 0
IABP 4 years

so far Police have drawn a blank...

Righteous Indignation Power Surge Causes Andrew Neil to Self-Combust Live on TV 2
Ablative Fabsolute 4 years

Very messy. That other lady on Daily Politics who laughs when he's not funny was covered in bits of forehead...

Grandmother awaiting execution is actually Big Bad Wolf in a nighty. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Campaigners still dispute evidence despite positive identification by granddaughter in red hooded outfit...

Biologists dismayed that DNA sequence is in fact very long countdown conumdrum. 0
Erlang 4 years

Dictionary corner stumped, blind watchmaker blamed...

Archbishop of Canterbury visits Bejing, Welcoming Chior sing "Wok of Ages" 0
Rowly 4 years
A 37 year old female teacher has been accused of having sex with 0
arrghgarry 4 years

two 16 year old boys at a private school in Liverpool .The headmaster who was quite upset said "she should have come to him first "...

IOC reject India's application 0
riesler 4 years

"They've burnt their bridges"...

India on track to win all medals in the upcoming Commonwealth games 0
simonjmr 4 years
New horny Dino found in Utah 0
simonjmr 4 years

Sex addict offspring of Dean Martin found running wild in Utah. More soon...

British athletes anticipate medal haul in re-pointing and steel erecting events 1
jp1885 4 years
Police to target antisocial spiders 0
Des Custard 4 years

A recent spate of incidents involving rogue spiders has led to renewed calls for police to stamp out the problem before it gets out of hand and wash it down the plughole. Camilla Raven, author of a...

Athletes concerned insufficient money taken from poor to fund Commonwealth Games 5
la maga 4 years

Athletes around the world are today concerned that accommodation at the Delhi Commonwealth Games will be below the standards to which they are accustomed. Many athletes have begun to question whether...

Labour gets onto Miliband wagon by electing DavEd as joint Leader. 1
Stan 4 years

Following a rapid recount, the Miliband brothers, David and Ed were confirmed as the new Labour Party leader yesterday, following a protracted campaign to find a replacement for former leader Gordon...

Manchester City take a £2million gamble on unborn fetus 3
alexc 4 years

Manchester City have unveiled the latest signing in their seemingly unending spending spree after splashing out £2 million on an unborn fetus., Although the player couldn’t be there personally,...

Florida gays horrified at adoption ban lift 0
Gerontius 4 years

New legislation passed by congress allowing gay men to adopt orphaned children in Florida has spread panic throughout the gay community., After years of uncertainty, news that they can now give some...

Commonwealth Games Anthem revealed. 0
Ostsee 4 years

To be sung by athletes every morning to the tune of 'Mull of Kintyre' while falling down the space where the stairs should be. Oh deary, deary, deary me, I desperately need to have a pee, Ah yes,...

Lesser government advisors 'huffy' after recommendations overlooked 0
QorbeQ 4 years

Following the publication of further recommendations from the government's top drugs advisors, lower ranking advisors are said to be 'in a proper huff' that their own carefully planned advice has...

Old lady who swallowed fly gives 5 stars to the Fat Duck 3
MrChigleysAunt 4 years