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Nodding off can kill, warns NHS.

During the Gary Speed inquest, the coroner said; "It was possible Speed could have "nodded off" while sitting with cable round his neck on the stairs in his garage". NHS spokesman, John...

TheBull 31.01.12 5:13pm
Rootin Tootin
Cave to rent - secluded, ideal get away - suddenly available due to bereavement. 1
Ian Searle 31.01.12 5:00pm
Only sex sells moans Glaswegian rent boy in overcrowded prison 0
Marko 31.01.12 4:44pm
Hecklers barrack Obama at US Presidential rally 0
Marko 31.01.12 4:21pm
What Queen actually needs is a stiff drink, clarifies Palace

Buckingham Palace has angrily rejected claims by Prince Harry that the Queen 'needs Prince Philip at her side' in order to carry out her duties, by insisting that what she actually needs is 'a stiff...

The Paper Ostrich 31.01.12 4:16pm
The Paper Ostrich
Clegg rouses Lib Dems with pledge to make Moon Britain's 136th unitary authority

Nick Clegg has announced ambitious plans to create a British Moonbase by the end of the next parliament, rallying Liberal Democrat voters with a stirring pledge to make the Moon ‘Britain’s 136th...

The Paper Ostrich 31.01.12 4:09pm
The Paper Ostrich
Flashmob breaks Guiness record for multiple indecent exposure arrests

Two great brand names, Guiness and Flash came together yesterday to break a world record for the greatest number of indecent exposures in one place. “I thought multiple exposure was strictly...

nickb 31.01.12 2:57pm
New Channel 5 gameshow, No-Win, No-Fee, set to start this weekend

After a few teething troubles and legal wrangles, channel 5's new flagship Saturday night gameshow, "No-Win, No-Fee" is set to hit our screens. The hour long show, sees 4 contestants go head-to-head...

Iamthestig 31.01.12 2:50pm
The Gulag Diet

The Russian Government, keen to find new ways to attract foreign tourists, have announced the founding of "The Gulag Diet" Visitors will be offered a 6 month "Working Holiday" in one of Stalin's...

TheBull 31.01.12 1:33pm
Steel chain manufacturer in Sheffield claims to have found the missing link 1
Marko 31.01.12 1:28pm
JonnyJP to finalize plans for all search results to be 100% random released news that all their search results from now on will be totally random, leaving users with a very small chance of being linked to something they're looking for. "It may match up, it...

Shandy 31.01.12 1:23pm
Man upset that cafe advertising "Anytime Breakfast"...

won't sell him toast and marmalade in the middle ages...

Smart Alex 31.01.12 1:18pm
England Cricketers told to think outside the box

More puns to follow...

apepper 31.01.12 12:36pm
Skeptic returns from posture clinic and admits 'I stand corrected' 0
kga6 31.01.12 12:21pm
David Milliband made labour leader on transfer window deadline day 0
Perks 31.01.12 10:37am
Clegg anxious as end of his work experience placement approaches 0
cinquecento 31.01.12 10:34am
Kate Winslet’s neighbours in fear of being unable to get flood insurance 0
Duncan Biscuit 31.01.12 9:37am
Duncan Biscuit
Eurosceptics urge use of ‘nuisance neighbours’ proposals against the EU 0
Duncan Biscuit 31.01.12 9:37am
Duncan Biscuit
Water companies ‘at risk’ of being flooded with money as bills rise 5.7% 0
Duncan Biscuit 31.01.12 9:36am
Duncan Biscuit
HMRC waives right to take 50% of RBS bonuses in tough economic climate 0
cinquecento 31.01.12 8:53am
Lord Coe slams 'lack of provision for VIPs' at Bingley canal lock-gate spectacle

Lord Coe has launched a withering attack on British Waterways' handling of the lock-gate replacement on Yorkshire's Bingley Canal. Despite the event only occurring every 25 years, Coe claims...

31.01.12 12:46am
Republicans ask Gingrich for an ‘open relationship’

As the race for the Republican Party presidential nomination heats up, an increasing number of GOP members are asking a resurgent Newt Gingrich if it would be okay if they saw other candidates....

Long Distance Clara 31.01.12 12:01am
Female scientists conclude that a 'kick in the nuts' is ideal Male birth control 0
thackaray 30.01.12 9:03pm
John Terry to miss Swansea Game due to Racially Aggravated Knee Injury 0
Mathna 30.01.12 8:04pm
Lib Dems officially ‘Extinct in the Wild’ says IUCN

Lib Dems are only one step from extinction conservationists announced last night following the downgrading of the species from ‘Critically Endangered’ to ‘Extinct in the Wild’ on the IUCN Red...

hohum 30.01.12 7:34pm
‘Great Pyramids of Giza are Fakes’ claims archaeologist

Professor Mike Smith of Oxford University’s Theoretical History Department has stunned the academic world with his evidence that the Great Pyramids of Giza are not dated to 2500BC but are medieval...

Immunis 30.01.12 7:28pm
Metropolitan Police rebranded Virgin Plod in tribute to their trains 0
JETFAB 30.01.12 7:19pm
Vegetable substitute brings end to unhealthy diets

In what can only be described as a breakthrough in healthy eating, Premier Foods, manufacturer of meat substitute Quorn, has today announced the launch its latest product, 'Laard'. Using unused...

Marko 30.01.12 6:53pm
Facebook announces plans to display your entire browsing history 0
Dumbnews 30.01.12 6:29pm
Home Office replace Police Officers with 4 "Pesky Kids"

The Home Office have announced radical changes to policing in the UK. Four young adults and a Great Dane are to replace thousands of detectives investigating "funny goings on" at disused fairgrounds....

apepper 30.01.12 5:58pm