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Icelandic volcano ash forces Peter Snow to miss out on election night . 2
Basil_B 4 years

BBC election night officials fear that Snow's over the top arm waving may cause him to take off and propel him straight into the returning Volcanic ash cloud causing him to crash land. Election night...

Volcash cloud for questions scandal rocks final day of campaigning 0
simonjmr 4 years
Restraining order granted to stop 7th May Downing Street Parties 0
simonjmr 4 years
Closure of Irish airports blamed on "Paddy Ashcloud" 0
Iscariot 4 years
Tomorrow's Sun headline revealed to be "VOTE TORY YOU F**KING OPINIONLESS TW*TS" 0
Rorschach 4 years

Editors forced to resort to a more direct approach, after conceding that the subtle approach was failing to get the message through to readership...

Isle of Wight expected to return Whig candidate to parliament for 52nd time. 2
Amoeba 4 years

Still fuming following the Jacobite uprising, Isle of Wight residents are expected to return George Fox to his traditional parliamentary seat for the 52nd consecutive general election. Mr Fox has...

Lock up your Doters 0
Duff 4 years

Ruthless plans by an in-coming Conservative government that will see our senior citizens institutionalized and confined to the scrap heap at the first sign of doddery behaviour, have been leaked in...

ASBOs to include optional beatings 0
aescott 4 years

In an attempt to beef up ASBOs, magistrates in England and Wales and Sheriffs in Scotland will now have the power to include optional violence towards convicted offenders. Under the proposals,...

May 6th, the day sex offenders get free access to schools with a polling station 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

Sorry sir, thought I had to go via the bike sheds, but here's my polling card...

Premiership title 'likely to be hung' 0
fernandomando 4 years

Experts predict that the tightly fought premiership battle is likely to result in ‘hung’ champions, with both Chelsea and Manchester United sharing the top spot. Before the crucial last games,...

Greeks take rational approach to near bankruptcy and call general strike 2
PluckyMunky 4 years
Edlington torture boys to appeal against home tutoring by dumbell teacher 0
simonjmr 4 years
Latest census statistics reveal Midsomer population now down to zero. 1
dandare70 4 years
General Strike paralyses Greece 0
simonjmr 4 years

General Metaxas and General Papagos commend his tactical deployments...

Computer use 'trebled' on Isle of Wight 0
QorbeQ 4 years

Computer literacy levels have skyrocketed this week after a Newchurch couple were given a second-hand laptop computer by relatives from the mainland. Mr and Mrs Charles Loveridge, residents of...

Oil slick chaos as Cameron makes overnight campaign visits 4
Scroat 4 years
Pants stay down in Bedford 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

Election may be cancelled due to lack of media interest. 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

More later, maybe...

Huck Finn for PM 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years

He has a raft of exciting policies...

Maori heads to return to NZ to start embalming schools. More soon. 0
Ostsee 4 years
Clegg looking forward to house share with Dave and Gordo 0
Rizzo 4 years

Nick Clegg can barely contain his excitement after some polls still predicted a hung parliament giving him the opportunity to move into 10 Downing Street with David Cameron and Gordon Brown. "It'll...

Fertility clinics welcome joint polling booth-donation booth initiative 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

Birmingham council have agreed to an experiment whereby male voters are being encouraged to donate sperm and vote all in the same booth. On production of the ballot card, men will be given their...

Last day of campaign: leaders take games in and watch Shrek III 0
allmyownstunts 4 years
Orwellian nightmare looming as snooping cameras set to take over nation's life. 0
Duff 4 years

You couldn't make it up could you? But it's true, because Police 'safety' and council surveillance cameras have been so successful in collecting money that there are plans to roll-out a new type of...

The Sun in surprise last minute endorsement for Simon Cowell as PM. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Labour Landslide: Grateful Brown makes Mugabe Chancellor 0
Des Custard 4 years

Fears of a hung parliament have been forgotten as indications point to a landslide victory for Labour with an incredible 98.6% of the popular vote. Gordon Brown has been quick to reward his campaign...

Holy Trinity appears on pint pulled in Dublin bar 1
Duff 4 years

This morning, and volcanic dust clouds permitting, pilgrims from all over the world are expected to make a beeline for Dublin in Ireland, as it's been reported that a likeness of God the Father, God...

That Prime Ministerial Apology in Full 3
Doctor Moptop 4 years

Dear Mrs Duffy / Mick Clogg /Rabid Cameroon * I am most dreadfully sorry for calling you a Bigot / Spigot / Lester Piggott.* In my defence, I was only trying to be helpful to the TV Producers /...

Black Gang Chine being sold openly on the streets of Coventry 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

Fast becoming recreational drug of choice...

Mid west Americans furious that bomb making job was given to Pakistani 1
edward hack 4 years