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Blacks/Millets 500 shop camping conglomerate may close. Occupy London "dismayed" 0
dvo4fun 07.12.11 11:10am
Man charged with murder in 2000 ‘expected in court any day now’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 07.12.11 11:05am
Duncan Biscuit
HMV apologises in advance for X Factor winner’s single 0
Duncan Biscuit 07.12.11 11:04am
Duncan Biscuit
Britons ‘less likely to help others’ except when it comes to answering surveys 0
Duncan Biscuit 07.12.11 11:03am
Duncan Biscuit
Christian festival to be moved to avoid clash with Christmas

The organisers of a worldwide Christian festival are to choose an alternative date for the event. ‘We accept that in hindsight choosing 25th December was a mistake’ said chief spokesman for...

ianslat 07.12.11 10:39am
Go compare? Compare the Monarchs? "No thanks" says Her Maj.

A senior Government minister has refuted reports that insurance has been obtained to cover potential losses, should the Queen not live until her Diamond Anniversary celebrations in June 2012. ...

dvo4fun 07.12.11 10:03am
Kepler 22b, the 'new Earth', could already be moving out of recession - Cameron 1
bonjonelson 07.12.11 9:27am
'Britain's Got Judges' edges ahead in TV ratings war

As Strictly and X-Factor slug it out for Saturday night supremacy, an unlikely challenger has punched its way to the top of the ratings – 'Britain’s Got Judges' – where wannabe judges vie for a...

Gong of Fur 07.12.11 9:23am
Had an affair? Pickford's Removals of Richmond will help you 'Move Like Jagger' 0
ronseal 07.12.11 8:21am
Teenage girls all in a tizzy as Eurozone duo announce plans to reform 2
simonjmr 07.12.11 12:38am
Quentin Wilson and Channel Five issue tepid apology for benign TV show claim

Fifth Gear presenter Quentin Wilson has issued a moderate apology for comments made on C5's magazine teatime show "Who's Watching?" when he claimed that some of the workers who withdrew labour during...

thisisall1word 07.12.11 12:29am
Elvis's sperm for sale on EBay

Doris Postlethwaite believes she is set to become a millionairess with her latest business idea. The former cleaner at the Holiday Inn in Graceland Memphys, is the proud owner of an unusual specimin....

bumtrinket 06.12.11 11:34pm
Jordan growing additional breasts - Doctors baffled

Model and reality start Jordan, (real name Katy Price) had doctors scratching their heads ealier this week when it was confirmed that she was literally "busting out all over". The ever popular model...

bumtrinket 06.12.11 11:03pm
FHM: "Rohypnol, the Christmas Gift that says more about you than cash ever can" 5
dvo4fun 06.12.11 9:52pm
Archbishop of Canterbury asks nation: 'what would Jesus loot?'

The Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams has addressed the nation's outrage over the summer riots, by claiming Jesus would have understood looters, and would probably have blamed the police....

06.12.11 9:45pm
Al OPecia
Cameron stops daughter from listening to Lily Allen

"It's because she's bloody terrible" confirms spokesman...

John Square 06.12.11 9:24pm
Inhuman Resources

Dear ([i]enter your complete name here[/i]),, It seems this news could be awkward or queer,, And so we'd rather fire you by mail,, But cheer your spirits with this regale,, Of joyous rhymes all...

A.Parody 06.12.11 8:24pm
A Throne for Kings

Poised on a throne gleaming white,, The future spanned displaying right,, The lofty scale of''is disposition,, Marred by man in his position,, Be-cause he must release his stores,, According to...

A.Parody 06.12.11 8:22pm
Edwardian soft-porn to be shown on TV -

Downton Abi Titmuss...

John Ffitch-Rucker 06.12.11 7:23pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Rioters warned the Archbishop of Canterbury “may happen again”.

They have been interrogated by the media, pursued by the police, vilified by politicians and cursed by their victims. Now, those who took part in the summer riots have been told that there may well...

nickb 06.12.11 5:26pm
Etiquette: Never ask an American, no matter how vile, if he votes Republican. 0
Griffin 06.12.11 4:51pm
Eric Pickles ‘is nuts’... about Christmas

Cuddly Secretary of State for Communities, Eric Pickles, has revealed in an exclusive interview for Young Fascist magazine that he is ‘the number one fan’ of the festive season. In the run up to...

Aberdeen Correspondent 06.12.11 4:50pm
Aberdeen Correspondent
Wife jailed in Harry Hill TV row killing claims she was framed 0
medici2471 06.12.11 4:29pm
Edwardian knife crime exposed in ITV documentary "Down Town Stabbey" 1
simonjmr 06.12.11 4:27pm
Rory McIlroy's Dubai World Championship hopes hit by Walrus

As Rory McIlroy seeks to top the European Tour's money list in Dubai this week Doctors have confirmed that is being haunted by a visions of an anthropamorphic Walrus. Psycologists fear that the...

simonjmr 06.12.11 4:06pm
FIFA Boss accused of Anti Anti-Corruption claim.

Celebration took place today in Switzerland at FIFA’s headquarters as unforeseen complications lead to delays in the publication of documentation naming and shaming official from the ISL. Blatter...

A.Parody 06.12.11 4:04pm
Ricky Gervais to make new disability comedy "Downston Abbey" 0
Son of Barnabas 06.12.11 3:31pm
Son of Barnabas
Lathe operator wins Turner prize. More soon. 5
dominic_mcg 06.12.11 2:56pm
Shock increase in 8-year-old Manchester City supporters 0
Oxbridge 06.12.11 2:56pm
Bell Pottinger to Rebrand as All Gas and Dictators 0
Drylaw 06.12.11 2:38pm