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Gadaffi family furious at fixed penalty fine

A convoy carrying the body of Colonel Gadaffi from Sirte to Tripoli has been held up just outside Mistra after it was discovered the tax disc on the vehicle transporting the body was not being...

0
Gerontius 20.10.11 3:02pm
Gerontius
Gadaffi's capture attributed to Westlife split

The split last night of Westlife has been linked to the capture of Colonel Gadaffi. CLose friends of the Libyan dictator have pointed out that as long as Gadaffi knew that Westlife were together he...

0
simonjmr 20.10.11 2:51pm
simonjmr
Gadaffi's capture a Dead Sirte 2
bonjonelson 20.10.11 2:25pm
bonjonelson
Firm seeking to create the perfect pair of trousers "making great strides" 15
Spoinge 20.10.11 2:00pm
Newsquelch
'Honest cop' discovered working undercover at the Met.

More later...

1
spoole2112 20.10.11 1:49pm
dvo4fun
'Alright mate?' UK retailers dispensing with outmoded pleasantries

Asking customers 'can I help you sir?' or 'may I be of assistance madam?' is seen as 'well passé' according to BHS shop assistant Shaniqua Dolan. She says 'these days, like me personally, I feel...

0
vertical 20.10.11 1:30pm
vertical
Archeaologists baffled by pictograms to god "Ikea" found with burial ship

Archaeologists working on the newly discovered viking burial ship in Scotland are intrigues by pictograms that they have found that are apparently dedicated to a previously unknown god "Ikea". The...

2
gregle 20.10.11 1:29pm
gregle
Colonel captured by KFC seperatists.

More secret recipes soon...

2
MADJEZ 20.10.11 1:19pm
nickb
Undercover activists posing as police officers targeted by Met probe

Police fear they have been infiltrated by activists who joined the force under false pretences as long as 15 years ago, and are now leading double lives as police officers and informants, leaking...

0
nickb 20.10.11 1:15pm
nickb
A-Team’s guest-appearance on Ready Steady Cook ‘a disaster’

Make-do mercenaries, the A-Team, have once again gone underground following their calamitous appearance on a special edition of the BBC’s dinner-from-a-bag show Ready Steady Cook. ‘On paper, it...

10
Qoxiivi 20.10.11 1:13pm
Qoxiivi
Gaddafi “really annoyed” after surrender

Reports have emerged that, at the time of his capture, Gaddafi was arguing on the telephone with British hypnotist Paul Mckenna about the immediate withdrawal of his status as a Neuro-Linguistic...

0
Newsquelch 20.10.11 1:12pm
Newsquelch
Former Libyan Leader shot. Ignored shouted warning "Gaddafi Duck". 0
seymour totti 20.10.11 1:08pm
seymour totti
"Bonsai babies" are this year's must-have accessory for the boozy teen smoker

"Bonsai babies" that will fit in the palm of your hand until they are 3 or 4 years old have become the latest designer craze to create a buzz amongst the nation's teenagers. Schoolgirls up and down...

29
OllieP 20.10.11 12:39pm
witless
Wall Street Protestors 'dismayed' upon hearing historical account of Guy Fawkes

UK Protestors involved in the London version of the 'Occupy Wall Street' movement were today in disarray upon being confronted by a member of the public who claims to have a C in GCSE History. The...

0
Juggernaut 20.10.11 12:17pm
Juggernaut
Support Greece - buy olives. 0
Griffin 20.10.11 12:10pm
Griffin
Gaddafi capured by XTC

Former leader Colonel Gaddafi was captured by forces of the XTC (Xtraordinary Transitional council) today. Spokesman Andy Mohamed Partridge said "This is a great day for the people of this country....

1
virtuallywill 20.10.11 12:08pm
Midfield Diamond
Police in Ohio comment on Zoo shootings

Sheriff Matt Lutz said today "It was like, yeeeeeehaaa". Later he admits to having erection while gunning down dangerous animals. "They were coming right for us"...

1
brd888 20.10.11 11:40am
Drylaw
Tragedy as mime artist falls into aquarium at ‘Sea-world’. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 20.10.11 11:30am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Police enter Dale by back passage

wish I'd thought of this yesterday...

0
Sinnick 20.10.11 11:18am
Sinnick
Revolving Scotland Yard sign " pedal-powered by News International Staff"

http://uk.reuters.com/resources/r/?m=02&d=20080206&t=2&i=3059987&w=460&fh=&fw=&ll=&pl=&r=2008-02-06T164506Z_01_L06502128_RTRUKOP_0_PICTURE0 It has been the icon...

1
nickb 20.10.11 10:35am
button
Innovative glass bottom bus tours excite asphalt spotters

ticker 2 mins, picture edit 2 hours. sheesh, http://tinyurl.com/6kzl3bx...

8
vertical 20.10.11 9:57am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Parents “to take children to England to hit them” if Welsh smacking ban succeeds

As the likelihood that child-smacking will be outlawed in the Principality grows, property prices along the Wales/England border are set to show a healthy rise. Theoretically, say estate agents and...

2
nickb 20.10.11 9:19am
simonjmr
Now sperm donors won't come for less than £750.

As out of pocket expenses for egg donors is set to triple, potential sperm donors are threatening to hold back unless they receive similar compensation for their time and trouble. "750 quid would...

8
Boutros 20.10.11 9:17am
Boutros
ITV to rebrand Dale Farm to simply 'Dale' 3
Perks 20.10.11 9:15am
Boutros
Fox 'misread' Werritty's advances

Dr Liam Fox MP has today told an inquiry into his conduct that he 'misread Werritty's advances'. 'Dr Fox would still be the Defence Secretary if he had just stayed for one more drink in the...

2
Perks 20.10.11 9:10am
Perks
Cameron laughs off Harman's Curse

"Well this is one PMQs I won't forget," laughed PM David Cameron today following an extraordinary outburst by Deputy Labour leader Harriet Harman from across the Commons floor. "I curse ye five...

2
Drylaw 20.10.11 7:29am
dvo4fun
'See you in Waitrose' warn coffin-dodgers

A pensioner who was criticised for holding up the queue at his local Waitrose has admitted he and his friends only do it to ‘wind up those precious young fuck-wits who still have a crappy job to go...

5
Gerontius 20.10.11 6:46am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Dr. Phil publishes new research on the positive effects of raising one's chin 0
Dumbnews 20.10.11 2:14am
Dumbnews
ASDA solve the pensioners-queuing-at-peak-times-for-no-reason problem

with a "Ten Years Left or Fewer" aisle...

15
gaijintendo 20.10.11 1:14am
Boutros
British Gas pledge to kill fewer than 3000 old people this winter 3
roybland 19.10.11 10:05pm
dvo4fun