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Taliban agree unconditional surrender after Allies threaten to send Jedward in. 2
Basil_B 4 years

'If we do not receive a complete and unconditional surrender from midnight tonight we will be forced to send in teenage irritants Jedward into deepest helmand province to entertain the Taliban...

Cloned Cowes Week causes concern for future of yacht racing 0
Des Custard 4 years
Stradivarius banjo 'possibly a fake' 1
jp1885 4 years
Daily Star apologises to families for 'fatal cock-up in Assghanistan' 'typo'. 0
SingingHinny 4 years
Delight at Northern Rock profit, Taxpayers loan could be repaid within 65 years 0
virtuallywill 4 years

Dancing in the street not expected...

Editor of new magazine 'Eulogy' says "were making deadlines" 0
BlackAndroid 4 years
Lorry Driver crushed by 32 desks blames lack of monitors.. 0
Sharpehunter 4 years
Tourists amazed after schizophrenic topiarist goes berserk with shears 0
Sharpehunter 4 years

To the amazement of tourists in London's notorious Trafalgar Square all plans and aspirations for fun and amusement were brought to a shocking halt today. A well known shizophrenic topiarist went...

Lebanese & Israeli Soldiers Exchange Fire Along Border : Minor Burns Suffered 0
mugwump 4 years
Boris Johnson missing for last 24 hours in Trafalgar Square maze 0
JayGee 4 years
Belfast to build another airport so they can call it Hurricane Higgins 0
Ostsee 4 years
Oxfordshire switches off speed camera flashes in major sting operation 0
William Brakspear 4 years

Police in Oxfordshire yesterday announced they would be turning off all speed cameras as part of cost saving measures across the county. However, leaked documents reveal that only the flashes are...

In bid to quell Pakistan anger, Prince Philip to be sent to India 0
rickwestwell 4 years
Cameron blames Pakistan for Cumbrian hosepipe ban. 0
SingingHinny 4 years

More tact soon...

Outrage from Pakistan Ambassador due to protests.. 0
Sharpehunter 4 years

The Pakistani Ambassador to London has responded with absolute outrage following demonstrations in London, Manchester and Wythenshawe. Demonstrators arranged mass street protests, burned effigies of...

Hed had enough, 0
biggles 4 years

it was time to fight back he thought as he looked down the length of his duvet at them,every morning it was the same,he wake up and theyd be there,and they were getting braver by the day.They...

Mel Gibson slates Charlie Sheen for ‘inferior’ remake 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
The Devil launches man-hunt after Raoul Moat disappears after his funeral 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Jason Manford chosen to lead 2 minutes’ silence at Help for Heroes concert 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
"Deepwater more destructive than Deep Throat" say experts. 0
Hunter F. Thompson 4 years

More on this lively debate in the afternoon edition...

Oil spill the worst leak since Watergate, say US officials 1
Iamthestig 4 years
Charlie Sheen, punch, kicks and gives a shiner in sheconds 0
Iamthestig 4 years
Super Mario wins ISS emergency callout contract. 0
Erlang 4 years

Popular plumbing brothers Mario and Luigi won the contract despite stiff competition from the previous contract holder. In a complex payment schedule said to involve cash, stars and vitamins NASA...

Northern Ireland gets emergency aid to cope with aftermath of Hurricane Higgins 0
Oxbridge 4 years
Northern Rock to Reinvent Itself and Build Submarines 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

'We found we had a talent for creating things that sink like a stone' said a spokesman...

The majority of Americans fail President Obamas' test 0
Erlang 4 years

It seems most Americans make at least one mistake. Despite being repeatedly warned by the President in his speeches the phrase "make no mistake" is not improving the infallibility of the average...

Moat was the nightclub doorman community's Princess Diana 1
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
H.M The queen denies that a grainy photo showing her holding something 0
arrghgarry 4 years

when confronting Michael Fagan in her bedroom,he simply knew my family background and it was nothing other then him giving me a Weiswurst sausage ,if only Phillip had been so thoughtful...

Milk from cloned cows to be sold with the title "I can believe its cows milk !" 2
mrlemoncurry 4 years

more to follow...

NASA Confirms Faulty Ammonia Pump Warranty Expired July 28th 0
mugwump 4 years