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Japanese Sooty puppeteer commits Hari-korbett 10
Smart Alex 20.02.12 12:30pm
Madagascar loses AAA rating; will now be known as Mdgscar

In another blow to the developing world, Madagascar has had its AAA rating removed by the Standard and Poor's agency, and will now be known only as Mdgscar. 'This is not serious news for us,' said...

hughesroland 20.02.12 12:18pm
Heston Blumenthal blames dyslexia for Mixed Herpes outbreak at "Fat Duck" 0
dvo4fun 20.02.12 12:02pm
Nonsense-spouting "Sun on Sunday" will be perfect post-church read says Murdoch.

News International's imminent replacement for the now defunct News of the World will be the perfect newspaper for those who like to start their Sundays by listening to ridiculous, made-up fairy...

Haywood Manley 20.02.12 11:54am
Haywood Manley
UK MOD calls up 2,100 Neighbourhood watch coordinators to boost Olympic security 0
simonjmr 20.02.12 11:38am
Nasty nickers nick knickers

Record high textile prices are fuelling a new crime wave, according to Inspector Gray of the Met. Police’s ‘Clothing, Cushions and other Soft Furnishing Crime Unit’. “Thieves finding it...

dvo4fun 20.02.12 11:33am
Dyson launch new Power vacuum for Middle East market 2
Dumbnews 20.02.12 11:24am
Victoria Beckham’s NY fashion show ‘used actual famine victims’, claim experts

Victoria Beckham’s New York fashion show was mired in controversy last night after claims that the models she employed were victims of the recent famine in Ethiopia. It is believed the pop-star...

Gary Stanton 20.02.12 11:12am
Major Clanger
Murdoch in dock over comments by son in "Sun" on "Sun on Sunday" .. 0
Gourd Almighty 20.02.12 10:59am
Gourd Almighty
Man survives 2 months in Coalition without contributing anything

MPs today discovered a man described as being in 'a terrible condition' huddled in a corner in the House of Commons. Barely able to speak and with a nervous disposition, it is thought the man has...

kga6 20.02.12 10:59am
Major Clanger
Disney SatNav allows Americans 'to follow their dreams'

[or their hearts, or that rainbow of course]...

dicky37 20.02.12 10:50am
Major Clanger
Man who fell down aircraft steps suffers 'airline fracture 2
Smart Alex 20.02.12 10:49am
Major Clanger
Dr Who replaces Tardis with Louis Vuitton handbag Fans are outraged that the Tardis will regenerate into a Louis Vuitton handbag in the next series of Dr Who. It was the handbag ...

Cooltone 20.02.12 10:47am
Major Clanger
Glam Rock comeback as UK set for a return to summer of 1976

Gary Glitter is set for a shock return to the UK as water authorities have advised that we should prepare ourselves for a return to the summer of 1976. The UK population have been selfishly washing...

charlies_hat 20.02.12 10:46am
‘Romantic’ London Eye becomes world’s first rotating brothel

Visitors to the popular London Eye ferris wheel were last night appalled at the behaviour of the users, stating that the Valentine’s day spirit had gotten unnecessarily raunchy. The Eye had been...

kimllfixit 20.02.12 10:31am
EU bans kilts for non-Scots at weddings

Any non-Scottish people caught wearing kilts at weddings face at least ten years' hard labour in a Polish prison under a new EU ruling. Sales of kilts as far south as Devon have increased ten-fold...

hughesroland 20.02.12 10:29am
Major Clanger
Kate 'has let herself go a bit' reveal Scouse women

As the Duchess of Cambridge blessed the good people of Liverpool with her presence for a photo and some chips, some of the local harridans have taken the time to pick fault with her outward...

20.02.12 10:26am
Major Clanger
Horse prices remain stable 4
1leonardo 20.02.12 10:23am
PM defends inclusion of zebra at NHS overhaul meeting

lots of empty chairs otherwise more soon...

writinginbsl 20.02.12 10:15am
Ghost Of Dead Mother Even More Annoying Than When She Was Alive

Eleanor Drysden, 51, of Leeds, Yorkshire is undergoing unwelcome visitations from her recently deceased Mother, Ethel Bowler, who died last month of natural causes. Eleanor was at her side comforting...

SimonJJames 20.02.12 10:14am
Major Clanger
Thief cuts bicycle to steal lock 1
Dumbnews 20.02.12 10:10am
Major Clanger
'Don't reveal my identity' pleads anonymous witness Terry Jenkins (now 19)

The crown prosecution service has revealed that a record pay-out of £600k was made to the family of a child witness, after his identity was mistakenly disclosed to a violent gang. And now there are...

20.02.12 10:02am
Major Clanger
Man has legs lengthened to reduce BMI. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 20.02.12 10:01am
Entire family wiped out in toaster crumbs avalanche tragedy.

The Home Office has issued urgent new guidance warning householders of the dangers of attempting to empty the toaster crumb tray. The warning follows the tragic case of the Watson family from...

malgor 20.02.12 9:32am
Boxers accused of fighting

Two boxers have been accused of fighting. "This is disgraceful", said a promoter, "they're doing it for nothing."...

apepper 20.02.12 9:28am
EU finds the Campaign for Real Beauty discrimates against beautiful women.

Feb 20th. In a bitter blow for a leading soap manufacture, the high profile campaign for real beauty was found to be discrimatory by the European Court of human rights in the Hague. Speaking...

Jugglia 20.02.12 9:00am
Hundreds of gays too ashamed to admit to secret footballing double life

Hundreds of homosexuals are leading a secret double life as dim bigotted sportsmen, according to the Poofs Fairies and Queens Association., A detailed report unearths numerous gays who are too...

tommyc90 20.02.12 8:26am
Japanese football tax accountant commits hari redknap 0
DorsetBoy 20.02.12 4:41am
Bobby Brown walks from funeral for playing fucking awful Whitney Houston tunes. 0
MADJEZ 20.02.12 1:06am
Cameron offers Scotland to Argentina as goodwill gesture 9
button 19.02.12 9:14pm