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'Tsunami' yawn racing towards the nation's capital

A tidal yawn of possibly epic proportions is thought to be heading for London and may break tomorrow, a source has revealed. The yawn’s epicentre has been traced to a vegetable contest staged in...

6
Screenie 23.09.11 10:48pm
Screenie
Palestinians agree to send peace-keeping force to Palestine in bid for UN recogn

has anybody seen a 'tion' lying around here anywhere?...

1
Gerontius 23.09.11 10:41pm
dvo4fun
Abba apply for UN recognition. 0
MADJEZ 23.09.11 10:09pm
MADJEZ
Public Sector Lego

A cabinet minister made a speech today designed to calm fears relating to the possible widespread public sector strikes. The minister explained how “genius” had struck him while shopping in...

1
Stephen Norman 23.09.11 9:57pm
Duke Togo
Fat People ate the Money

World economists were left red-faced today following the publication of a New York Post investigation that reveals the true cause of the 2007 financial crash. According to the 200 page document, the...

1
Stephen Norman 23.09.11 9:52pm
Duke Togo
Stock market analysts "Too anal" say analysts. 0
yussle 23.09.11 9:16pm
yussle
Top Al-Qaeda terrorist considers having faith job 1
RJWinter 23.09.11 8:37pm
FlashArry
Changing landscape leaves Einstein agog 1
spoole2112 23.09.11 8:34pm
FlashArry
Young lad to be thrown into ring with no protection for adults’ entertainment.

Eddy Miliband (18) is to attempt to triumph after a bout in front of a tough Liverpool audience this week, in the teeth of the doubts of many as to his resilience., Getting the upper hand and...

0
suwe 23.09.11 6:51pm
suwe
Einstein's unexpected appearence at CERN silence's time travel doubters 0
spoole2112 23.09.11 4:45pm
spoole2112
ECG machine market flatlines.

More later...

1
spoole2112 23.09.11 4:42pm
Danny
In an ironic twist, out of control satellite lands on Dale Farm 2
Perks 23.09.11 3:55pm
Perks
"New tree, no..it would change everything"

What was considered for many years as no more than a flippant comment by Albert Einstein on being offered a magnolia tree from his cousin Skwared (an employee of Einstein's favourite garden centre),...

0
spoole2112 23.09.11 3:01pm
spoole2112
Unexpected demand for DeLorean cars 0
Sinnick 23.09.11 2:55pm
Sinnick
"Tiger pedicure" business ill thought out claims Institue of Beauticians

Lynx Pedicures more focused and dainty. More soon...

0
simonjmr 23.09.11 2:23pm
simonjmr
NASA latest: "satellite likely to hit Dale Farm". Tinkers "delighted". 1
Al OPecia 23.09.11 2:17pm
borednow
Seven injured at Italian sign language conference

Ancora tra un po...

1
nickb 23.09.11 2:15pm
Crapwerewolf
Corrie actress failed to suffer enough in real life fire incident

Coronation Street actress Eileen Derbyshire has been criticised for getting herself burned on set in a drearily plausible way. Derbyshire, who has played Emily Bishop since the 1960s, reportedly got...

1
Oxbridge 23.09.11 2:03pm
Des Custard
Hacker spontaneously combusts. Firewall "effective" says bank. 0
Crapwerewolf 23.09.11 2:01pm
Crapwerewolf
Hat sales soar as Nasa warns of Satellite Crash Landing

With the imminent crash landing of a half ton satellite, sales of hats, particularly of the safety, bowler and top varieties have boomed. One shopper commented that the odds of being hit by the...

0
apepper 23.09.11 2:00pm
apepper
Charlie Gilmor's Prison Diaries

Life inside is not easy. This is my poetry. https://charliegilmour.wordpress.com/...

12
henry deal 23.09.11 1:36pm
Golgo13
Tescos to Cut Prices by £500 Million "per customer"

Supermarket giant Tescos has announced that £500 million is to be targeted to reducing customer prices and, in response to questioning, went on to claim this would be "per customer". "The simplest...

0
apepper 23.09.11 1:24pm
apepper
Troy Davis Left Me His "Guns And Ammo" Subscription.

Five issues left! (Drat! I'm going to have to wait a bit.)...

21
rikkor 23.09.11 1:19pm
Scroat
Scottish engineer at CERN to be questioned over change to the Law of Physics

Kirk's faith in him justified...

0
Erlang 23.09.11 1:16pm
Erlang
Light from low energy bulbs moves slower than conventional bulbs

Scientists have revealed that the light from the European imposed low energy bulbs moves [i]way [/i]slower than the traditional, British invented, filament lights. For years people have complained...

1
apepper 23.09.11 1:11pm
Al OPecia
Commercial pilots say they've been playing exciting games with clouds for years

Can't see what all the fuss is about...

0
Ian Searle 23.09.11 12:04pm
Ian Searle
Physicists baffled as 1000s of Lib Dem supporters desert party faster than light

No more soon...

0
Skylarking 23.09.11 12:03pm
Skylarking
Abbas pushing for UN to back Palestine - with release of Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

(A State After Midnight)...

0
Ian Searle 23.09.11 12:01pm
Ian Searle
Cern scientists astounded at discovery of Dr Brian Cox 0
simonjmr 23.09.11 11:36am
simonjmr
BBC memo reveals that Jonathan Ross should never interview Lucy Worsley 0
simonjmr 23.09.11 11:34am
simonjmr