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Cameron pledges to 'kiss Britain better' 0
jp1885 4 years
Impressionists unimpressed. 0
MightyBlair 4 years

Election broadcasters and followers heaved a collective sigh of relief after it was announced that impressionists are to boycott the election coverage because ‘the candidates provide too great a...

dirtmaximus 4 years

Tory leader David Cameron has unveiled yet another secret weapon from his arsenal of the unknown in a bid to clinch the upcoming election battle. Flipping 'Broken Britain' on it's head and codenamed...

William Hague diagnosed with ADHD. Ffion hides the blue smarties. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Ask knot what your country can do for you 12
sauce 4 years

Aspiring MPs from all parties are literally tying themselves in knots to pander to the electorate. 'From a three sheets breezer shank to a granny half-hitch, they'll contort themselves into something...

Scottish Tories reconsider gay marriage 8
virtuallywill 4 years

New defence industry consultant calls for 'battle centric' war strategy 5
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

Blue sky thinking defence consultant Zac Woodruff claims to have re-written the rules of engagement for Her Majesty's armed forces, claiming that warfare is undergoing a 'total paradigm shift'. The...

Al Qaeda to launch its election manifesto from Hinkley Point Power Station. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
'Anyone but Gordon' coalition projected to win by a landslide 0
ED209 4 years

The leading political parties, including almost everyone from Labour, have today announced that they have united to form the 'anyone but Gordon' party, to prevent the dreadful Scottish PM ending up...

CEO of Northern Soul fined for misreporting record sales. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Facebook install paedophiles to spite police 0
ED209 4 years

Sick of being told what to do by bossy public-sector do-gooders with highly-paid non-jobs, facebook has retaliated by installing paedophiles on every page their children visit. A bright, glossy...

Violent protests errupt 0
ramblesid 4 years

in Beverley and Rawalpindi against proposals to rename parts of Pakistan Middle East Riding of Yorkshire...

Illiterate say voting is as easy as 'signing your name' 0
Mrblacker 4 years
Cameron to use 'Tissues and Spit' grannies to make Britain better 0
Mrblacker 4 years
Under Pope's orders Swiss Guards arrest Richard Dawkins for heresy. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Malta tries to stop pope seeing giant penis on his visit to the island. 3
PluckyMunky 4 years
German scientists to jam Battle of Britain tweets 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Election fever sufferers sought by pollen organisations 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Soap star showed clean pair of heels after crash 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Kyrgyzstan holds dy of mrning 2
Alan Sundry 4 years
Spin doctor does his bit for the troops with promise to smear Osama Bin Laden 2
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

The morale among British frontline troops was sky high yesterday, after news that spin doctor Andrew MacNulty is to throw his considerable behind them. He's promised to use every weapon in his...

Convicts who flee prison disguised as sheep regret choosing Welsh escape route 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Cameron to make Britain bitter 2
virtuallywill 4 years

no other typos in manifesto...

Burglar who was posted to victims discovered dead and unclaimed at Post Office 0
Ian Searle 4 years
TVs Nick Knowles sought in Moscow judge murder. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Russian police have released an E-fit of their prime suspect identified as DIY SOS presenter Nick Knowles. He is accused of killing judge Eduard Chuvashov (pictured right)....

Plaid Cymru manifesto uses up world's entire stock of 'l's 2
edward hack 4 years

Y and R running dangerously low, (has this been done)...

CAMRA to make bitter better. More soon. 0
QorbeQ 4 years
Man who leaves bibles in hotel rooms revealed 0
virtuallywill 4 years

Cameron to "make Britain better" by employing more foreign doctors on overtime 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Microsoft says its social phone aimed at teenagers will be ‘Kin amazing, like' 3
Duncan Biscuit 4 years