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Pete Doherty takes up scuba diving after crack found in reservoir. 1
Thor 10.06.12 8:43pm
Roy Keane Sent Home From Euros By ITV

The former Manchester United skipper was sensationally sent home last night following complaints about the facilities he and his fellow ITV pundits have been forced to work with., Keane has already...

Hooch 10.06.12 8:34pm
Authorities rule that small holes in Pennal dam are against regulations 0
kga6 10.06.12 5:58pm
South Wales suffering under 6 feet of draught 1
beau-jolly 10.06.12 5:19pm
Schools could hit foreign language targets by becoming French.

Schools could meet their foreign language targets by including the number of pupils learning English among the total of students studying a foreign language, it was announced today. To make the...

Boutros 10.06.12 4:35pm
Austerity sees Greek version of 'The Apprentice' in the firing line

Greece’s version of the popular business contest ‘The Apprentice’ has descended into farce following cutbacks and austerity from the producers, and claims of cheating by some of the contenders....

Perks 10.06.12 3:24pm
Village in Gwynedd evacuated over damn risk

more friggin news later...

virtuallywill 10.06.12 2:48pm
Greece twinned with Broke, NSW

More to follow...

apepper 10.06.12 1:59pm
Porn stars urged to ‘adopt a wild merkin’

Hairless porn stars are being urged to ‘do their bit’ for the endangered merkin, by offering them somewhere warm to hibernate for the winter. With fewer than 80 breeding pairs remaining in the...

10.06.12 1:16pm
Cameron may face 'war hero' embarrassment at Leveson Inquiry

Downing Street is demanding fairly strict security for David Cameron's appearance at the Leveson Inquiry on Thursday to stop demonstrators embarrassing the Prime Minister with 'war hero' plaudits....

roybland 10.06.12 12:50pm
EU happy as Spain to borrow billions, in same strategy that failed in Greece

100 Billion Euros, to be worth £2 Billion in 2 years...

virtuallywill 10.06.12 12:17pm
Guantanamo Bay’s reputation as extreme bondage paradise takes a battering

Fans of extreme BDSM were in shock following the release of disturbing new pictures from the Cuban base showing nothing more interesting than occasional mild shackling. “The widespread humane...

Yikes 10.06.12 11:18am
Spotty, little schoolboy, Osbourne, says.........

."Please, sir, it's not me making the mess, it's those big boys, out there in the playgroundI think."...

Jesse Bigg 10.06.12 9:47am
Jesse Bigg
Daily Mail Exclusive; "dying early can prevent most diseases"

The Daily Mail revealed today that dying early is an ideal way of avoiding many diseases; a medical expert explained; "Diabetes, cancer, arthritis, you name it; statistics show that the likelihood of...

apepper 10.06.12 7:23am
High jump competitor clears customs at Heathrow

Tug-of-War team pulls out...

Nerys Hughes 10.06.12 5:16am
Nerys Hughes
Hosepipe use now compulsory in some areas 0
Haywood Manley 10.06.12 4:39am
Haywood Manley
Medieval musician arrested for luting. More soon. 4
dominic_mcg 10.06.12 3:08am
Holidaymakers airlifted from caravan holiday hell

Holiday makers in Wales have been rescued by the emergency services after large numbers of them suddenly realised that caravan holidays really are that bad...

BabyDinosaur 10.06.12 2:58am
John Terry compares Auschwitz experience with winning the Champions League

After visiting Auschwitz today with other members of the England squad John Terry spoke of how it put his achievement of single handedly winning the Champions League into perspective. "Having...

A Wagonload Of Monkeys 09.06.12 9:15pm
Spanish footballers to bail out Spanish banks 0
Drylaw 09.06.12 9:01pm
Adverts on Newsbicuit Writers page continue to be bizarrely irrelevant

comfort in continuity...

virtuallywill 09.06.12 4:29pm
Queen's Diamond Jubilee enthusiasts 'now feeling like twats'

People who backed the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations say they now 'feel like complete twats'. 'What was all that about?' said Jack Peters who helped organize a street party and wore a plastic...

roybland 09.06.12 4:27pm
London man makes heroic decision to subscribe to online edition of newspaper

After years of indecision, an Islington man is paying £9.99 a month for access to the online edition of a national newspaper. Sam Pierce said he was still kept awake at night wondering if he'd made...

roybland 09.06.12 3:21pm
Fry-ups Under Fire As Ministers Favour Fags

The Coalition is intending to implement new legislation in relation to one of the nation's best-loved signature dishes - The Full English. And if the changes are green-lighted, then from July 2013 it...

Duff 09.06.12 3:04pm
Tom Windsor promises to take action on Police Operations Names.

Incoming Police Regulator today slammed the falling standards in Police Operations naming as the Met revealed a raft of serious crime task forces called Operation Thingy, wordswordswords and Your...

Lemon difficult 09.06.12 1:10pm
Lemon difficult
Prince Philip leaves hospital in time to offend foreigners at Euro 2012

A nation celebrates as Prince Philip will be able to go to Poland and offend foreigners after all...

apepper 09.06.12 11:32am
Manchester man provides deep insight into Euro crisis

Terry Jenkins of Manchester unwittingly made an enemy of most of Britain with his accurate, but unfortunate, summation of the Greek crisis when interviewed by the BBC this week. "As far as I can...

kga6 09.06.12 8:18am
Greek debt crisis solved through sale of alphabet to Apple

The continuing debt and currency crisis wracking Greece appears to have been solved this week with the sale of the Greek alphabet to Apple. Western countries have long been baffled by Greece's...

Nick McCarr 09.06.12 7:30am
Nick McCarr
Autopsy reveals Robin Gibb had lethal levels of music in his blood

As yet another prodigiously talented musician passed away before his time, medical experts are becoming more vocal in highlighting the health dangers of having music in the blood. At the coronial...

Yikes 09.06.12 6:55am
Dalai Lama surprised at omission of Rio Ferdinand from England squad 2
grottymonty 08.06.12 11:44pm