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Elephant dung in the room caused E-Coli outbreak, scientists annouunced today 0
Tammy Flugh 03.06.11 9:21pm
Tammy Flugh
Cat Stevens arrested in attempt to procure firearm

Stevens may also be charged with other offences after the police examined some of his music dating back 40 years. The charges are expected to include bestiality; Stevens is widely reported to have...

Iscariot 03.06.11 9:20pm
Asda-clothed child who defied school bullies awarded George Cross

Let's all go to Tescos, where gypsies buy their best clothes...

03.06.11 9:12pm
Cameron sends Clegg to Brobdingnag to study big society. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.06.11 7:36pm
Ratko Mladic Faces Additional Charges

Following new evidence that has only come to light over the last 2 weeks, the International Criminal Court has added new charges to those Mr. Mladic is already facing. This new video evidence shows...

Deimos 03.06.11 7:24pm
Right Said Fred ‘too sexy to be allowed to buy the Tote’ 1
Duncan Biscuit 03.06.11 7:23pm
F1 returns to Bahrain after receiving reassurances about the safety of its money 1
Duncan Biscuit 03.06.11 7:22pm
Cat Stevens Granted Restraining Order Against A Moonshadow 4
mugwump 03.06.11 7:19pm
Care Commission to inspect Mutant Academy

Following on from a review of the private care sector in England and Wales, the Quality and Care Commission has announced that it plans to extend its regime of unannounced inspections to include...

Milo Shame 03.06.11 6:01pm
Milo Shame
Cameron struggles to find "name brand" for political strategy

It emerged yesterday that Downing Street wordsmiths have been experimenting with a range of political branding ideas after the Prime Minister and former PR man, David Cameron, was reported as being...

mongeese 03.06.11 5:38pm
Her Majesty the Queen facing fitness battle for Derby

Following the recent series of injury scares for Queen Elizabeth II, her trainers have said they expect to make a decision in the morning on whether Her Majesty will be fit to run in the classic...

rickwestwell 03.06.11 5:37pm
Man on Clapham omnibus retires aged 172

After over a century of public service, the man on the Clapham omnibus has stepped down from office. His career began in 1903, when Master of the Rolls Sir Richard Henn Collins employed him as a...

pthr 03.06.11 5:34pm
EU to send cucumbers to UK to reduce constipation. 0
Ostsee 03.06.11 4:58pm
Brazilian deforestation 'Inevitable when you think about it' claims expert

The Brazilian rainforest was for thousands of years a wonder of the natural world, but nature-loving environmentalists now lament recently changing attitudes which have had a devastating effect on...

rickwestwell 03.06.11 4:31pm
Dr Death dead 0
roybland 03.06.11 4:05pm
Mladic fear of being sentenced to UK care home 0
roybland 03.06.11 4:04pm
Infected cucumbers ‘could have been planted by terrorists’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 03.06.11 3:43pm
Duncan Biscuit
Fraud Squad called in after viewers watch ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 03.06.11 3:42pm
Duncan Biscuit
Many people "hiding illegal immigrants under their hats", says Daily Mail (edit)

The Daily Mail has published a startling editorial, in which it alleges that it has recorded footage of liberally-minded people entering UK ports and airports with illegal immigrants and...

SingingHinny 03.06.11 3:39pm
Dentists warn that using the wrong brand of toothpaste could kill you 0
Dumbnews 03.06.11 3:23pm
Terrorist threat level downgraded to 'comical'

after Al-quaeda promise to 'pull your hair and steal your sweets, infidel'...

be reasonable 03.06.11 3:17pm
be reasonable
Lidl's 'Tolerate The Difference' range woos thrifty middle-class

As middle-class mums look for ways to stretch the family budget, Lidl is hoping to tempt them with the launch of a new 'premium' brand. Boasting up to 25% less sawdust in their cereals and cosmetics,...

03.06.11 3:11pm
Confound Chinese hackers by starting your Gmail password with an R, says Google

A security expert for Google has offered a temporary fix to the problem of Chinese Gmail hacking. 'There's no R on a chinese keyboard,' he said. 'And if there is, it's where the L should be.' ...

ronseal 03.06.11 3:10pm
E. Coli Discovers New Strain of Scientist 0
mugwump 03.06.11 2:15pm
Students set impossible question: At what time does a lie in become bedtime? 2
charlies_hat 03.06.11 1:44pm
Chas & Dave's music branded as 'Poison" by U.S. Youth Leader.

The music of Chas & Dave has come in for fierce criticism with a lack of contemporary role models being cited as the main reason for the recent explosion in 'Cockney Culture' amongst American...

locker 03.06.11 1:32pm
Panini launch new superinjunction range of cards and stickers

The Panini Superinjunction Collection features the silhouettes of anonymous Premier League footballers that kids can buy, collect and swap in the playground, although for legal reasons they are not...

Ludicity 03.06.11 1:29pm
Middleton's left homeless after childhood home to be auctioned off by Kate

The childhood home of the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton is to be sold at auction later today despite the fact that her Mother and Father still live there., 'We had to strike while the iron was...

Basil_B 03.06.11 12:50pm
Rocket Science “isn’t brain surgery,” says Confucius.

A bitter feud has erupted between disciples of both brain surgery and rocket science as both sides vie for the right to be acclaimed ‘much harder to do than almost everything else.’ The...

SingingHinny 03.06.11 12:45pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
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simonjmr 03.06.11 12:30pm