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Self Harmers accused of hampering recovery are shooting themselves in the foot 0
Basil_B 4 years
Radio's Doctor Lurve Slams NICE Love Song Funding Cut 0
ianslat 4 years

BBC Radio Bristol's resident Doctor Lurve, aka Graham Dickens, has today slammed NICE's decision to withdraw funding for late-night love song request shows. 'It's outrageous' spouted Graham, 'over...

Scientist "Really Insistent" He's Invented Invisible Cloak 0
danlewis 4 years

More soon. (Obivous I know)...

catholic schools and churches to have panic buttons 1
PluckyMunky 4 years
George Cross not always a good thing 0
virtuallywill 4 years

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2009/1/9/1231508261462/George-Osborne-speaking-a-001.jpg...

UN body rejects tuna friendly dolphin 0
virtuallywill 4 years

more later...

Black scout leader barred from Harrods for wearing gollywoggle 5
Scroat 4 years
Sheffield Tai Chi OAPs burned at the stake 0
Scroat 4 years

More heresy soon...

Newsbiscuit to have DON'T PANIC ! button. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

http://captaingrooviss.co.uk/images/Mjones.jpg...

Woman barred from Harrods for not wearing headscarf 1
Scroat 4 years

Scotsman barred from Harrods for wearing kilt...

Three party leaders to take part in live, televised game of Monopoly 2
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

Britain’s party leaders are to face their most gruelling test yet in the run up to the election, a live television game of Monopoly. Producers are hoping the ego catalysing, insecurity amplifying...

Clio-pushing driver gives a thumbs down to Toyota’s Prius lorry prototype 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Dog-washer 'perfectly safe' confirms housewife 1
edward hack 4 years

'That nice Mr.Bush put my poodle through the wash regularly and there was never a problem. We just followed the instructions and then let all the others hang out to dry. ' said a Mrs Blair from...

Scout refuses to take off nickers and wiggle for Harrods security guard 1
edward hack 4 years

More buffoon...

Lorry shunting Renault on A1 was the Stig from Top Gear. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

The Top Gear team have revealed that a video apparently showing a Renault being pushed sideways up the motorway at 60 mph was a TV stunt. The clip apparently shows the lorry driver obliviously carry...

Chelsea captain John Terry has part-time haulage job, police reveal 1
Scroat 4 years

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8574600.stm...

Students "may have to study actual subjects"- Report 5
John Square 4 years

Following a policy shift towards promoting Science and Engineering degrees, three quarters of England's universities are facing real-term budget cuts this year - for the first time since Labour came...

Mohamed Al Fayed: "Wearing woggles was a racist slur" 0
Scroat 4 years

Be prepared for more soon...

Office scrounger borrowing less than forecast 0
Crow 4 years

Financial green shoots were indicated today following reports from office workers that Canary Wharf colleague Jonathan Leadbetter had paid for a round of drinks without poncing off his mates.,...

Newsbiscuit to get panic room 1
simonjmr 4 years
Facebook to have 'nuclear button' option. 0
4 years

Armageddon status also to be added. More soon...

Victoria Cross for injured Beckham 0
simonjmr 4 years

She's livid she wanted to go to South Africa in the summer...

Sony sign Derek Acorah to perform Michael Jackson back catalogue 1
Ludicity 4 years

'I am so honoured to be doing this,' said the celebrated TV psychic, 'I have spoken to Michael and he is right behind me.' The deal, worth an estimated $200 million, will see Acorah record 10 albums...

Tooting by-election latest: Secretary of State for Transport not standing! 0
Cooltone 4 years

Rumours of Lord Adonis, Secretary of State for Transport, standing at the Tooting by election were quashed today by election organisers who reported: "Lord Adonis doesn't have a platform to stand on"...

Tooting by-election latest: Dita Von Teese not standing! 0
Cooltone 4 years

Rumours of Dita Von Teese standing at the next Tooting by-election were quashed today by election organisers who reported "Ms Von Teese didn't get high enough on the polls"...

Tooting by-election latest: Philippe Stark not standing! 0
Cooltone 4 years

Rumours of Philppe Starck standing at the Tooting by-election were quashed today by election organisers who reported "Mr Starck doesn't have any designs on the seat."...

Scotland Yard's crack naming unit dubs pushy vegan mum "Alfalfa Woman" 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

Scotland Yard's crack naming unit has finally come up with a handle for a 'most wanted' domineering Vegan who always seems to be first in the queue for everything. CNU19 (crack naming unit 19) is...

Obama argues healthcare on fox 0
Grunties 4 years

Whilst your Government's action to ban hunting with dogs is obviously a good thing for you foxes this is no time to be complacent. There's still the danger from people with guns, poisons, and the...

Pakistan police reputation boosted at return of Sahil. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Inspector Bin Laden of the Pakistani Police Missing Persons Squad says the return of the boy vindicates his department after criticism of their work on terrorism...

Pakistan bank to amend loan collateral policy as boy returned. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Though Northern Rock are meeting with regulators with a view to launching similar mortgage terms in the UK...