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Vatican's "Bring your daughter to work Day" a dismal failure. 1
Al McHogan 03.03.12 6:50pm
Julia Gillard to remain squawking harridan in charge of distant colony

Australian prime minister Julia Gillard has won a leadership stoush among Labor MPs in Canberra, cementing her position as a squawking harridan in charge of the distant colony. Ms Gillard clobbered...

The Paper Ostrich 03.03.12 6:49pm
Suicide bomber's family: "It's how he'd have wanted to go." 0
hughesroland 03.03.12 6:24pm
Costa Cruises suspect sabotage by newly formed Starbucks Shipping Co. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.03.12 5:37pm
Troops express relief as plot to bring James Blunt to Afghanistan is thwarted.

British forces in Afghanistan breathed a collective sigh of relief today as details emerged of a failed Taliban plot to deploy singing turd James Blunt against servicemen and women on the front line,...

Haywood Manley 03.03.12 5:19pm
Thatcher diagnosed with Crone's disease

more later or "Thatcher diagnosed with old Crone's disease" or perhaps neither...

dvo4fun 03.03.12 4:45pm
Chelsea FC: cost and timescale of title-winning side makes it 'unfeasible' 0
Mandy Lifeboat 03.03.12 4:12pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Head of Forestry Commission given the chop

Stop me if you've heard it before...

JohnA 03.03.12 4:04pm
Scottish independence could cost English salad growers up to £2.30

If Scotland achieve independence, the English salad growing industry will suffer. "I sold a lettuce to a guy in Stonybridge in 1983 and a case of tomatoes in 2001 - although that was for the audience...

apepper 03.03.12 3:49pm
Xmas truce football match ruined by racist chants, say players.

​Papers realised today by the National Records Office detail how players the 1914 Christmas truce football match expressed their bitter disappointment in the watching fans chanting racist abuse at...

Lemon difficult 03.03.12 3:02pm
Lemon difficult
Ed Miliband found on Mars breathing sulphur through an orange

Political pundits have rounded on Ed Miliband for being 'out of touch', 'aloof' and 'clearly not of this Earth'. The criticism comes after a NASA probe spotted him standing in a crater on the red...

03.03.12 1:54pm
Feminists Up In Arms About Up In Arms Comment.

Feminists around the country were said today to be furious that allegations have been made by the Men's Movement that becoming a feminist could lead to females so hating men, that they would be...

freemycatfish 03.03.12 11:59am
'Freak of nature' horse with cunt half-way up it's back...

belongs to Rebecka Brooks, scientists reveal...

John Ffitch-Rucker 03.03.12 11:09am
Study finds animals still being discriminated against in the workplace

A study undertaken by the Department for Work and Pensions has found that a disproportionate number of animals in the UK are still being confined to the most menial of jobs, and are repeatedly passed...

03.03.12 10:58am
National Galleries Buy Tits’n’Ass Picture for £45 million The Titian painting “Diana and Callisto” has been sold to the National Gallery and the National Galleries of...

Quaz 03.03.12 10:40am
'Morrissey belongs to Argentina’ say music lovers. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 03.03.12 8:08am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Costa Allegra renamed Costa Labour after losing power and drifting aimlessly 2
Midfield Diamond 03.03.12 7:44am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Windows 8 my concentration span.... OMG! Look at this! LOL!

One of the new unreported features of Windows 8 is a Twitter busting feature that promises to be ten times more distracting than anything else on the LOL! OMG! sorry, market. Disruptive technology,...

ronseal 03.03.12 3:11am
Man who understands new web privacy settings still in toilet.

A new plug in will allow web users to track advertisers who have left cookies on computers of people advertising anti-privacy software that tracks the buying habits of people who shop online but have...

nickb 02.03.12 11:26pm
NASA computer hackers just playing 'space station invaders' 0
Perks 02.03.12 9:39pm
Cameron "taken for a ride" by News International 0
Drylaw 02.03.12 9:04pm
Army thank Taliban over cancellation of James Blunt gig. 0
MADJEZ 02.03.12 9:03pm
Zero carbon charcoal fails to make its mark. 1
Ian Searle 02.03.12 8:29pm
David Cameron warns Syria 'day of reckoning just a sentence or two away'

David Cameron has warned Syria's President Bashar Assad that he is close to constructing an English sentence or two that will destroy his regime. 'President Assad should know that his day of...

roybland 02.03.12 6:58pm
Mona Lisa probably the first augmented reality painting.

Art-lover Harold Jarrold from Norfolk had a shock on his recent visit to The Louvre when he took a picture of the Mona Lisa on his iPhone. "I thought I was just taking a photo for my collection but...

Boutros 02.03.12 6:40pm
Cyclist Stops at Red Traffic Lights

On Friday 17th February, a cyclist was seen to stop at the red traffic lights on Southwark Bridge Road, South London. This occurred around 8am in the morning rush hour. Not only that, but the cyclist...

mmjjll 02.03.12 6:38pm
Swedish man trapped in car for 2 months to launch "Snow Diet Plan"

Following his well documented ordeal in northern Sweden, Bjorn Ericsson's friends noted that he had lost a significant amount of weight and asked his secret. "Eating nothing but snow for 2 months...

ianrbland 02.03.12 4:07pm
EU leaders sign new "fisting" treaty after shafting Greece 0
simonjmr 02.03.12 3:46pm
Pandas 'secretly planning overthrow of mankind' 0
hughesroland 02.03.12 3:22pm
Apple critics "just picky" 0
kimllfixit 02.03.12 2:59pm