Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Freshness
Syphoning advice from MP enables BP to successfully funnel off oil spill 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

More expenses techniques soon...

David Cameron and Nick Clegg 'to wed in the spring.' 0
4 years
Robbie Williams' ego used to block up BP oil spill. 0
4 years

The recent oil spill crisis has been solved today, when BP officials revealed they had used an innovative new method of blocking the oil spill, using the ego of pop singer Robbie Williams. Robbie...

Jack Charlton put on standby as England World Cup defensive cover gets critical. 0
Basil_B 4 years

Body of Bobby Moore to be exhumed as extra back up should Charlton get injured...

Ken Dodds' Fathers Canine pet is alive and well 4
Svendo 4 years
Dyson unveil new 'Hover-Hoover.' 0
4 years

Vacuum cleaner manufacturers Dyson have today unveilied the prototype of the much aniticipated 'Hover-Hoover.' The devise, that will be selling under the name of Dyson Air, will be going on general...

Honeymoon period over for Cameron, divorce expected in five years. 0
Basil_B 4 years
Caravan couple in Cumbrian near miss 8
brownpaperreporter 4 years

Looking for eye-witness accounts we spoke to Jenny Digence, 52, obviously shocked and struggling to keep her emotions in check "its tragic, such a beautiful place and such devastation" turning to her...

Ferdinand's injury to relegate Cumbrian Killings to page 5 0
simonjmr 4 years
Media hoping for 'at least 5 more days of 3 page supplements on taxi killings' 1
PluckyMunky 4 years
Three lions on my shirt become real as John Terry is attacked by a pride of them 0
Basil_B 4 years

Forty years of hurt is nothing compared to how John Terrys feeling right now lieing in an intensive care bed in Capetown after being viciously mauled by a pride of lions after taking a walk in the...

Weightwatchers siege enters 7th day - 40 stone lost so far 0
simonjmr 4 years

As the Barnstable Weightwatchers siege enters the 7th day, dieticians are estimating that they are now down to the last 7 packs of weightwatchers boiled sweets. The unconfirmed combined weight loss...

Widow of actor David Carradine seeks damages from makers of Stranglewank 0
simonjmr 4 years
Catalogue of Errors to go online 1
Des Custard 4 years

The official Catalogue of Errors is to go online in the near future, it has been announced. The catalogue, an essential source of reference for almost all public enquiries, will be accessible to...

Scientists find link between sunshine and dressing like a twat 0
Svendo 4 years

Scientists studying the effects of sunshine on the human brain have produced a report detailing their findings. Professor Arthur Preston said "It's a given fact that in cold weather people tend to...

Shell offer BP Dutch Cap 0
andhrimnir 4 years
Cumbrians to be trained to shoot from other end of gun. More soon. 2
Ostsee 4 years
Lack of Context Sees BP Place Small Hat on Leaking Well 0
Svendo 4 years
EasyJet to fit all aircraft with safety canary 3
Ludicity 4 years

All EasyJet planes are to be fitted with a ‘safety canary’, to provide an early warning system against flying into clouds of dangerous volcanic ash. ‘The canary system is foolproof,’ said...

Voyeur to attempt the 3 peeks challenge 4
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Police re-count Cumbrian shooting victims 0
Mrblacker 4 years

New analysis suggests an Estate Agent and Solicitor shouldn't count against Derrick Bird's final total...

EasyJet to introduce trash sensors to stop Liverpudlians getting on board. 2
Ostsee 4 years
Dogs, monkeys failing to build on success of early space missions 0
Genghis Cohen 4 years

A $38m, 50-year study by NASA and the Pentagon has concluded that the space programmes of monkeys and dogs appear to have stalled since achieving orbit in the 1940s and 50s. ‘When they beat us...

David Cameron to fight crime in Cumbria, Clegg to act as sidekick 0
Quincel 4 years

A Government spokesmen announced today that David Cameron will not merely be visiting the police force in Cumbria for a photo opportunity after the shooting, but actually join the effort to prevent...

Forgive me Father, for I've not..... 1
edward hack 4 years

Although converting to Catholicism back in December 2007, it has come to light that former British PM Tony Blair has still to enter the confessional in order to make his first Sacrament of Penance.,...

Shocked gardner unearths man's face that resembles potato 3
suki 4 years
Liverppol hail 'transfer coup' and predict Benitez to be sacking of the season 0
jmcl 4 years

Liverpool are today celebrating a “massive transfer coup” after blowing their entire transfer budget on getting rid of Rafa Benitez – in what the club are hailing as the ‘severance of the...

BNP festival cancelled after double booking at Nuremberg 0
Ludicity 4 years
Trials of memory wiping pill collapse after everyone forgets to take it 0
Ludicity 4 years
John Prescott to replace sacked Churchill dog. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 4 years

In homage to Psycadelic Squirrel's earlier post...