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Slip of the tongue sees Queen dedicate herself to the United Arab Emirates

The Queen was left red-faced earlier today as she accidentally dedicated herself to the United Arab Emirates in her Diamond Jubilee speech to the Houses of Parliament. ‘We’re honoured’ said...

ianslat 20.03.12 1:33pm
NHS to recruit US hairdressers as cancer consultants

Following reports from the USA that hairdressers are well placed to spot and report early skin cancers the head of the NHS Latest Fads has recommended that American hairdressers be recruited and...

weematt 20.03.12 1:08pm
Fabrice Muamba update: Now playing piano and solving advanced calculus problems.

More miraculous improvements later...

grottymonty 20.03.12 1:02pm
Haywood Manley
Budget News: Defence spending cuts - Corporals to be privatised.

Rt Hon Philip Hammond MP announced today that the rank of corporal in all its forms is to be eliminated and the ranks of sergeant and above will handle their own privates in future. "Not also do we...

weematt 20.03.12 12:34pm
Boost for hassock makers as Vatican recommends better support for abuse victims 0
cinquecento 20.03.12 12:28pm
View from the Mound - a hot lesbian's take on today's world news (3/17 edition)

Greetings lesbians! (And friends of lesbians!) What can I say? There's no excuse for the massive yawning gap between my posts, but I hope you'll understand when I tell you that me and my superhot...

SugarTits69 20.03.12 12:12pm
Vince Cable delighted to be chosen for Buenos Aires leg of Olympic torch relay 0
ianslat 20.03.12 11:07am
Man plunges to earth in cloud computing mishap

A recently qualified software developer fell to his death during what was his first solo cloud computing session. It is understood that he had recently passed all the tests required to obtain a cloud...

weematt 20.03.12 10:30am
Road Privatisation begins as M60 Junction 7 is signposted "For Sale". 1
seymour totti 20.03.12 9:32am
China's phone network crashes. Dumb SIMs to blame 1
weematt 20.03.12 9:13am
Haywood Manley
Schoolchildren complain after field trip turns out to be trip to field 1
Stan 20.03.12 9:07am
Barry Humphries retires Dame Edna: "I didn't want the act to drag on any more" 0
simonjmr 20.03.12 9:02am
Muamba to quit professional football - claims his heart isn't in it.

Just to divert the flack from roybland for a while!...

bonjonelson 20.03.12 8:44am
Olympic torch route to become one massive toll road.

Olympic torch bearers were shocked and disgusted to discover the high cost of their participation when every road along the route becomes a toll road for the duration of the event. "I was looking...

Boutros 20.03.12 1:18am
Affable Stoner Hedge Fund Corners World Markets in Pickled Onion Monster Munch 0
thisisall1word 20.03.12 1:10am
FILTHY RICH! Toffs found to have large carbon footprints 0
weematt 19.03.12 11:13pm
Relaxation of Sunday trading law builds on 'late-night opening' riots of 2011

Chancellor George Osborne has announced plans for shops to open longer during the Olympics. In an interview on the Andrew Marr show he said: "last summer we saw a huge demand for late night shopping...

Mandy Lifeboat 19.03.12 8:58pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Muamba sits up, waves imaginary red card 0
Drylaw 19.03.12 8:28pm
Road to Hell to be privatised.

As price of 'good intentions' paving stones rises...

Ian Searle 19.03.12 7:39pm
Ian Searle
President calling for less tolerant society horrified by less tolerant society 0
Mandy Lifeboat 19.03.12 7:39pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Olympic torch relay to visit Buncefield oil storage terminal ...

no more soon...

Kramaring 19.03.12 7:23pm
Three billie goats gruff first to bid for Troll Road contract

more later...

dvo4fun 19.03.12 7:03pm
Argentinian Universities minister's visit to IOW fuels friction

Argentina has further fuelled controversy and has been accused of "illegally increasing it's military presence on the Isle of Wight". La Isla Blanca (as it is know by the Argentinians), has been for...

simonjmr 19.03.12 6:41pm
Osborne plans two headed coins. Intended to reduce financial uncertainty.

Chancellor George Osborne in his budget will announce a plan for the introduction of two headed coins. "These are times of great financial uncertainty " said Chancellor Osborne "Some critics have...

weematt 19.03.12 5:53pm
Anger in American cocaine community as poor, defenceless cocaine stuffed up arse

The American cocaine community has expressed it's anger today over the harrowing story of a poor, defenceless key of cocaine that was forced into a person's rectum and sent on a 15 hour trip from...

AllThisYoghurt 19.03.12 5:09pm
iPad 3 to feature 'I've got an iPad 3' t-shirt and mug

Details are emerging for Apple's much-anticipated iPad 3, which promises to fundamentally change the way people think about their iPad 2. With record pre-orders from people who don't care what it...

19.03.12 5:02pm
Hague in Scottish Falkland Islands gaff

Foreign Secretary William Hague was humiliated in front of a class of 10 year-olds today when he failed to find the Falkland Islands on a map of the world. Teacher Mrs Fiona Bedlam explained....

medici2471 19.03.12 4:14pm
Not Amused
Ed Balls revealed as Frankie Howerd's secret love child 0
nostra da mouse 19.03.12 4:08pm
nostra da mouse
Scotland to vote on independence from 6 Nations. 4
Griffin 19.03.12 3:36pm
Cardiologist arrested

more later...

dvo4fun 19.03.12 3:33pm