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Flumps/Johnny Briggs mash-up storms easy-listening charts. More soon. 0
QorbeQ 4 years
Man misses plane home giving interview to Sky news. 1
MADJEZ 4 years
Iranian cleric 'blames quakes on promiscuous women' 0
virtuallywill 4 years

Volcanoes are caused by incorrect verruca care, and hurricanes by not putting cd's cack in the case, after playing...

Jubilation as smug bastards able to afford foreign holidays at Easter stranded. 3
MADJEZ 4 years

Despite talk of Dunkirk-spirit among the British public most have been happy to bask at home in the warm weather in the knowledge that friends and colleagues who droned-on about getting away at...

Dismay as child-killer walks free 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years

Daily Mirror readers were dismayed when charges were dropped against a vicious black knife-wielding man who attacked two white children who were visiting his mother's house, wounding one and killing...

Govt announces rescue plan for stranded nationals waiting for No.15 bus 3
Stan Laurel 4 years
'Obama plays more golf than Bush' - BBC, 'Woods plays more bush than golf' - NBC 0
QorbeQ 4 years
Church plays down image of Jesus found on toilet paper. 14
andhrimnir 4 years
Clegg accused of plagiarism for repeating Churchill's most famous quote: Oh yes 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
Organ donation debate: Cameron and Brown seek Clegg personality transplants 1
Scroat 4 years

Merry Charismas...

Martin Keown and Lee Dixon to be new travel reporters for GMTV 0
Iamthestig 4 years
David Cameron dismayed after finding Nick Cleggs image burned into morning toast 0
Iamthestig 4 years
Cunard buy up old de-comissioned Navy ships for use as new holiday Villages 0
Iamthestig 4 years

Cunard announced today that they intend to buy up the Navy's old Type 22's, 23's, Frigates, destroyers, Aircraft Carriers and even a few Submarines, as they look to take advantage of the Icelandic...

State microbe chosen for Alaska. Sarah Palin came third after amoeba. 0
Ostsee 4 years
Surgeon's mistake a right bollock of a job 0
simonjmr 4 years

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/manchester/8630592.stm...

Gordon Brown to wear Cuban heels for Thursday's debate 0
simonjmr 4 years

Gordon Brown has today confirmed that he will be wearing Cuban Heels, Lifts or stilts for Thursday's leaders debate. This move follows the publication of research from the USA that identified that...

Shuttle Discovery's return delayed by Volcanic ash 0
simonjmr 4 years
Stag parties in Minorca are "running out of people to fight" 0
seymour totti 4 years

Thousands of British tourists are stranded overseas as a result of the Icelandic volcano, including large numbers of stag parties in the Balearic Islands. Although most had only planned to stay for a...

Consumer shock as new gadget uses same USB cable as another gadget 0
dandare70 4 years
One-stop-shop for organ accessories still not turning a profit. 0
Zadok the second 4 years
Eyjafjallajokull to be renamed Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantys... 0
Scroat 4 years

iliogogogoch...

Eyjafjallajokull to be renamed Colin 0
Ludicity 4 years
Daily Mail slams 'Left wing softies' who run airlines 0
Scroat 4 years

The Daily Maul has slammed airline operators for being 'over cautious' in stopping flights because of the Iceland volcanic ash cloud. An editorial barks: "What sort of left wing softies run the...

Clegg puts the bite on Scotsman 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 4 years

Nasty nip but not dangerous...

Chiles moves to GMTV to escape vacuous daily magazine show. 9
MADJEZ 4 years

More after the break...

Several Al-Qaeda project's on hold after failing HSE risk assessments 0
simonjmr 4 years
British military armada heads for Spain in pretend mercy mission 1
TerribleTim 4 years
Shock revelation from Met Office: 'Not all clouds have a silver lining.' 0
Scroat 4 years
Iceland served with ASBO & banned from North Atlantic for 5 years 1
ED209 4 years

The 'ongoing nuisance' Iceland has inflicted on its European neighbours must end immediately, under the terms of an ASBO issued this morning. The island has been banned from the North Atlantic for 5...

Blofeld ‘furious’ as plans for world domination delayed by faulty volcano lair 7
Ludicity 4 years

International supervillain Ernst Stavro Blofeld is reportedly ‘hopping mad’ today after news that his plans for world domination could be set back by months due to problems with his secret...