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Sacked Bishop who had consensual sex with adult woman 'a pervert' says Pope 6
pinxit 29.06.12 1:48pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
British bankers the musical

British bankers debut Canary Wharf musical “Fiddler on the roof” Bob Diamond rendition of “If I was a rich man” had audiences aghast...

kevingower 29.06.12 12:53pm
Guide to Olympics 2: caring for your genetically engineered mascot

With our lab-created, self-aware Olympic mascots now hatching from our breeder tank in Chelsea, this Q&A will help you get the most from Britain’s newest and most nationalistic of all the...

29.06.12 11:53am
Cameron Congratulates both Newcastle upon Tyne & Gateshead Councils

Prime Minister David Cameron Congratulated both Newcastle upon Tyne & Gateshead Council's today for the rapid handling of yesterdays heavy floods which saw most of the North East grind to a halt....

Timerman 29.06.12 11:40am
In new porn version of Captain Scarlet he meets Lieutenant 50 Shades of Grey 0
Ian Searle 29.06.12 10:55am
Ian Searle
Notorious criminal boss elects ‘not to accept bonus this year’

The overlord of an organised criminal gang yesterday announced that due to poor corporate performance and discovery of some questionable business practices, he will be foregoing his annual bonus this...

Long Distance Clara 29.06.12 9:46am
Euro 2012 is going entirely as was predicted - says Bloke in Pub

The Man In the Pub with the Chelsea shirt on has correctly predicted every stage of Euro 2012 - now pundits are eagerly anticipating Monday, when they will find out what he predicted for Sunday's...

ronseal 29.06.12 9:41am
Hansen still unprepared to write-off the Germans 2
grumblechops 29.06.12 9:37am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Wormwood Scrubs prepares executive cell as Bob Diamond says "I Won't Resign"

More to follow...

apepper 29.06.12 8:19am
Italy now offically bankrupt as Merkle asks for money back 0
Scronnyglonkle 29.06.12 8:17am
Torrential rain & flooding, Geordies refuse to wear coats or sensible shoes. 0
MADJEZ 29.06.12 7:42am
News International to split into Light and Dark Side of the Force. 0
MADJEZ 29.06.12 7:38am
Shock as banks are caught doing what they're best at doing

Millions of bank customers are today coming to terms with the shock revelation that banks have been doing what they are best at doing. The manipulation of a key bank interest rate by Barclays and...

roybland 29.06.12 6:43am
Vertically Challenged Giant
North of Britain puts faith in mystical “fire orb” in sky to combat the flood

With the north of Britain gripped in floods the inhabitants has put faith in the “fire orb”. Apparently there is a “sphere of fire” that rest in sky, but British scientist have found little...

confuzzled 29.06.12 1:58am
Governor of Pentonville Slates Escape For "Lacking Any Real Creative Flair"

A prisoner serving a life sentence who escaped from Pentonville Prison earlier today has been slammed as being "unimaginative and passé" by the jail's Governor in a scathing attack this afternoon....

Duff 28.06.12 11:24pm
Rupert Murdoch Quits Newspaper Game to Concentrate on Apocalypse

In the wake of the phone hacking scandal Rupert Murdoch is said to have grown tired of existence and is planning an earth shattering announcement; that he plans on shattering the earth. ‘The UK...

Hooch 28.06.12 11:13pm
Pentonville escapee last seen climbing wall into Ecuadorian embassy 0
grumblechops 28.06.12 11:11pm
Question Time's first streaker goes down well

David Dimbleby admitted he was left "somewhat hot under the collar" after a female streaker invaded the set of Question Time, cutting short a hate-filled rant from some tosspot from The Mail. The...

grumblechops 28.06.12 11:02pm
Barclays Bankers Found Guilty Of Knocking Out Another One

Bob Diamond (Geezer) is tonight under extreme pressure to step down from his position as Barclays Chief Executive, following the financial giant having been found guilty of yet another...

Duff 28.06.12 9:48pm
Beckham's hope of normal haircut dashed 0
nickb 28.06.12 9:42pm
Google launches ‘built-up shoe’

Google has caught it rivals well and truly on the back foot, as it announced plans for a clonky, built-up shoe. The 7” high unit is based on an Android ‘platform’, and can look a little...

Nunnion Splendacular 28.06.12 9:12pm
Nunnion Splendacular
Cameron says Banks have a big question to answer "Are we still OK for donation?" 2
dvo4fun 28.06.12 8:34pm
Beleaguered economy caused by an imbalance of humours, say Greeks, Romans. 0
simonhansen 28.06.12 8:25pm
"Lots of lolly" pop ladies as the job changes to commission only

Lollipop ladies (and men) are to see their role changed to commission only with unlimited earnings potential in the wake of a report that shows a truly shocking turnover of virtually nil for the...

The Masked Frog 28.06.12 8:05pm
The Masked Frog
BSkyB sent to bedroom as News Corp. discuss's who gets the Lexus. 1
simonhansen 28.06.12 7:54pm
News Corp break up: James Murdoch to visit Cameron "on alternate weekends only" 0
simonhansen 28.06.12 7:45pm
R.A.F budget hit by 82,000 fixed penalty fines for littering. 0
JETFAB 28.06.12 6:42pm
Healed With A Hand Shandy

The Queen made an historic act of forgiveness yesterday by giving former IRA leader Martin McGuinness a hand shandy. The momentous encounter – which would have been unthinkable ten years ago –...

Simon Balch 28.06.12 6:40pm
New Muse single "a bit over the top for me" says Louis XIV of France

Louis XIV of France has criticised the new single by prog-pop group Muse, calling the track “a bit over the top for my tastes”. Wearing a bejewelled crown, a bejewelled necklace, and brandishing...

@spinal_bap 28.06.12 6:32pm
Old couple describe their life as a daily reenacment of "Back to the Future" 0
Dumbnews 28.06.12 5:57pm