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No Frills Treatment On No Frills Airline

The Irish budget airline Ryanair has attracted significant criticism after it emerged that cabin staff gave a sandwich and a drink to a passenger suffering a cardiac arrest, only to later charge him...

tezza 05.08.11 3:39pm
Buddhist monk to become Britain’s new “top cop”

The criminal justice community was stunned last night by the news that the new Metropolitan Police Commissioner is to be 49 year old Panjit Sum, currently leader of the South Lambeth Centre for Peace...

DavidW 05.08.11 3:26pm
E.On increases charges to pay massive 'phone bill.

Well they call me every bloody day...

beau-jolly 05.08.11 3:24pm
Sooty silent on phone hacking claims. More soon 2
nickb 05.08.11 3:12pm
Vets offer courtesy cat scheme for pet owners

A Dorchester veterinary practice is offering substitute pets to owners while their beloved animal is being treated. Cat owner Jenny Newby was amazed at what happened when Tuna, her 12 year old...

Des and Stan 05.08.11 2:09pm
Tony Bennett does single with Amy Winehouse. Covers 'The bitch was smacked up' 0
MADJEZ 05.08.11 1:25pm
"Shit-Hole Chic" cited as reason for property price increases in Hackney........

The news that properties in Hackney were experiencing huge rises in value was put down to the new phenomenon "Shit-Hole Chic", the latest in housing trends. Certain areas of Sheffield, and the whole...

Bismarck 05.08.11 1:10pm
Kate leading the press a merry dance over pregnancy speculation

Rumours that the Duchess of Cambridge could be pregnant are continuing, despite her recent behaviour suggesting that she is not, or perhaps she is, expecting her first child. Speculation has been...

Midfield Diamond 05.08.11 12:17pm
Midfield Diamond
Daily Mail offers free "cootie shots" to its readers. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.08.11 11:51am
Geoff Boycott's granny better than Sachin Tendulkar.

Forthright Yorkshireman Geoff Boycott has dismissed claims that Sachin Tendulkar is the best batsman since Don Bradman. Gritty Boycott, who was axed from the England team in 1967 after batting all...

rebel not taken 05.08.11 11:44am
rebel not taken
BBC Bosses criticise world events for attempting to distract from phone hacking

Senior figures at the BBC have publically criticised recent world events for attempting to deflect attention away from their ongoing self-righteous reporting of the phone hacking scandal. Since the...

Vertically Challenged Giant 05.08.11 11:37am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Martian Water plc lifts hosepipe ban. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 05.08.11 9:51am
Blonde Ohio club hostess confirms Tiger Woods is nearly back to his best 1
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:38am
Hero cop saved as crim's bullet is blocked by his wad from News International! 0
ronseal 05.08.11 9:33am
Car crash forces Mr Bean to abandon ‘Mr Atkinson’ pilot programme 0
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:25am
Duncan Biscuit
Mounting fear that Macca hacker may release Linda McCartney recordings 0
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:24am
Duncan Biscuit
Facebook blames Pickles as thousands of confused councillors reveal their asses 0
Duncan Biscuit 05.08.11 9:24am
Duncan Biscuit
Bank of Mum and Dad to be nationalised after sub prime pocket money scandal. 0
dominic_mcg 05.08.11 9:14am
Lemmings down 4%. More $oon. 1
red 05.08.11 8:32am
Homosexual Offended By Homophobia

A homosexual man today said he was offended by homophobia. "When I see homophobia against homosexuals it offends me homosexually" said the homosexual...

Textbook 04.08.11 10:52pm
Italian finance minister to boost markets with striptease

Italian Finance Minister Carla Romagna has promised 'a stiff response' to market jitters over a possible default by her debt-laden country. Addressing parliament she vowed to take off an item of...

Darkbill 2.0 04.08.11 10:40pm
Darkbill 2.0
Countryside Alliance wants more affordable rural housing - but not round here... 0
deskpilot3 04.08.11 10:25pm
Italian economy joins long list of things Berlusconi has fucked 4
Qoxiivi 04.08.11 9:53pm
MP's facing 'impossible choice' between two huge fibbers

MPs' say they have no plans to call Piers Morgan for questioning over the hacking of Heather Mill's phone; while they struggle to decide which of the bare-faced whopper-mongers they should believe....

Darkbill 2.0 04.08.11 8:30pm
Darkbill 2.0
Mareseatoatsanddoeseatdoats, andlittlelambsaretasty. 0
Al OPecia 04.08.11 8:23pm
Al OPecia
Climate change groups observe that Ramadan is occurring "later than last year" 3
Nick McCarr 04.08.11 8:20pm
Al OPecia
'Lurve' doctors working more hours than ever

The NHS has come under fire once again after a Panorama report showed that it is ‘systematically failing’ lovesick Britons by cutting back on the number of trained 'lurve' doctors. It has also...

jp1885 04.08.11 6:25pm
Rock ‘n’ roll voted ‘the new rock ‘n’ roll’

Performers and fans alike are celebrating today after a nationwide poll officially named rock ‘n’ roll as the new rock ‘n’ roll. Rock ‘n’ roll was knocked from its 50 year place in pole...

jp1885 04.08.11 5:24pm
Pepsi delighted after £300m Coke seizure 3
simonjmr 04.08.11 4:52pm
Jeremy Clarkson. 10
Al OPecia 04.08.11 4:50pm