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Squudge 15.10.12 5:07pm
Banham wins contract to deliver BBC security brassiere

BBC Chairman, Lord Patten, has announced that Banham Alarms has been commissioned to develop a high-security brassiere for vulnerable newsreaders and presenters. Responding to revelations of a fifty...

15.10.12 4:39pm
Toddler in historic free fall from kitchen chair

Scientists and stunt fans held their breath as 3 year old Darryl Parkin completed a historic descent from a kitchen chair yesterday, in the front garden of his home in Northampton. "It was a...

nickb 15.10.12 4:38pm
Armstrong doping scandal; new investigation reveals he used a motorised tandem

more soon....

custard cream 15.10.12 4:38pm
custard cream
Disability charity, Scope, to merge with Savile charities: now called ‘Grope’... 0
Tripod 15.10.12 4:16pm
Scientists Baffled by Gillard's Masculine Pre-Echo

57 scientists at the University of Sydney have signed a petition for Julia Gillard, the Australian Prime Minister, to undergo a medical examination at their research centre to ascertain the source of...

MyWikiKeepsLeaking 15.10.12 3:42pm
24 hrs on, Roswell residents hear skyward scream of "Shhhhiiiiiittttttt...... " 1
charlies_hat 15.10.12 3:09pm
Nick Clegg's poll rating breaks freefall record. 0
JETFAB 15.10.12 2:31pm
Posh Berkshire man to wear Clan Cameron tartan to win over Scottish voters 0
simonjmr 15.10.12 2:24pm
Latest global warming scare 'just rubbish' insists penguin at Bermuda beach bar 0
Dick Everyman 15.10.12 2:13pm
Dick Everyman
Weymouth & Portland Tourism Campaign Launches With Concrete Jingle 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 2:01pm
Territorial Army to be renamed "The Army" 4
Nails UK 15.10.12 1:41pm
Felix Baumgartner becomes first man to shit himself at Mach 1

more later...

virtuallywill 15.10.12 1:37pm
Hunters foiled by Badger's cunning Everton Mint disguise 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 1:25pm
Record breaking Baumgartner thrown out of HMV 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 15.10.12 1:25pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Alex Salmond gives nursery children seat on school's board of governors

After the decision to allow 16 and 17 years olds to vote in the referendum for independence, Alex Salmond has also decided to give nursery school pupils a seat on the board of governors. This will...

Perks 15.10.12 1:24pm
Sarah Palin promises to bring Iran to heel with scarf embargo

Sarah Palin has stepped back into the presidential race with a shock announcement that she intends to put herself forward as Secretary of State should the Republicans win back the presidency. She...

gregle 15.10.12 1:08pm
National Anthem To Reintroduce Controversial 'Crush Rebellious Scots' Verse 1
Nowherefast 15.10.12 1:04pm
The All New Jeni B
Bill Wyman to be broken up and sent to landfill 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 1:03pm
Report slams out-of-town retail centres; 'Seen one concrete jungle, seen a mall'

Neat-O (and heavily influenced by Gerontius' entry)...

Midfield Diamond 15.10.12 12:52pm
Midfield Diamond
Jagger's Panini Super models album incomplete due to lack of Moss 0
simonjmr 15.10.12 12:39pm
Jagger bans Kate Moss from Stones 50th Anniversay concerts 0
simonjmr 15.10.12 12:38pm
50th Anniversay of 50th anniversary celebrations of first bombing from a plane

Tomorrow 16th Ocotber 2012, sees the world celebrate the 50th anniversay on the 50th anniversary celebrations commemorating the Bulgarian pilot Radul Minkov and his observer, Prodan Toprakchiev, who...

simonjmr 15.10.12 12:30pm
Cameron visits Scottish Tories: last breeding pair sighted in Morningside... 1
Tripod 15.10.12 12:17pm
The All New Jeni B
The Jimmy Savile Charitable Trust to be renamed ‘Wandering Hands’... 0
Tripod 15.10.12 12:13pm
Muslim protesters notice arrival of age of mockery 800 years after everyone else

That'll be my name on the next fatwa newsletter then...

Nowherefast 15.10.12 10:58am
TV critic horrified to learn BBC Parliament 'not actually a soap'.

James Hartnett, a 53 year-old TV critic, was recently shocked to learn that BBC Parliament was not intended to be enjoyed as a light-entertainment soap opera, but was instead live and uninterrupted...

MarmiteMedicine 15.10.12 10:14am
Baumgartner: Kev from Halfords denies forgetting to reconnect visor demister 0
Nowherefast 15.10.12 10:08am
Legal news: ASBO’s to be scrapped.

The Home Office announced today that the Anti-Social Behaviour Order is to be replaced with a new punishment, the ‘not a nice chap, y’know.’, A spokesman said ‘for some time now, oiks and...

sigmund 15.10.12 9:50am
Baumgartner: my biggest fear was getting parachute and rucksack mixed up 0
custard cream 15.10.12 9:41am
custard cream