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Louis Walsh denies indecent assault on music

Well, somebody had to...

FraserWords 23.06.11 9:22am
Warning of dangerous levels of Bono exposure this weekend

Experts are warning of the dangers of extremely high levels of Bono in the west of England this weekend. Tom Barber, professor of predictable rock at the University of Minehead said "We have been...

MC One R 23.06.11 9:15am
MC One R
Galliano has rare condition he can't differentiate between narcissist or nazi 0
simonjmr 23.06.11 8:56am
Under siege Taliban calls in consultant for brand re-launch in Afghanistan

Rumours emerging from Afghanistan suggest that the Taliban's influence is on the wane in the war torn nation. But the movement intends to fight back, with a brand re-launch led by a leading digital...

ronseal 23.06.11 8:43am
Flatulent MEPs defy cap on arse gas emissions

Flatulent MEPs are refusing to back down in a row over caps on UK rectal gas emissions. The Tory MEPs - a mixture of bloated, over-fed men from the Shires and retired city bankers with an aversion to...

PamChristianAnderson 23.06.11 8:23am
Lady GaGa to disappear up own arse

in latest desperate publicity stunt...

Leeboy007 23.06.11 8:09am
Norwich City sack manager ahead of next season's relegation

After achieving promotions in two successive seasons to reach the Premier League, Norwich City have sacked their manager before the start of the new season blaming anticipated poor results and...

Des and Stan 23.06.11 6:30am
Police apologise for drunk tank arrest of Amy Winehouse tribute act 0
ronseal 22.06.11 10:38pm
Ugly people launch rival internet site: ‘Faceonlyamothercouldlovebook’ 1
FraserWords 22.06.11 10:22pm
Cameron hails revival of class system 'based on hats'

The class system is to be given a much-needed boost, according to the latest government initiative. The convention, in which people know their place and who they're dealing with, has been in decline...

22.06.11 10:18pm
removed: already done! 1
22.06.11 10:08pm
Family, targeted by naive motorists, finally buy ‘Baby on board!’ sign

Irresponsible father of three, John Marchant, from London, has finally seen sense and purchased a ‘Baby on board!’ sign in a bid to end years of targeted attacks on his family whilst out and...

Qoxiivi 22.06.11 10:06pm
'Best ever' products face fraud charges

It's being described as the most important consumer rights case in history and could see thousands of products removed from sale, as well as billions paid out in compensation. Papers lodged with the...

Mrblacker 22.06.11 9:34pm
Mr Payne
Comic fans in shock as Spider-Man dies in 'Death of Spider-Man' story

Fans of comic fiction reacted with shock today, after discovering that Spider-Man is to be killed off in the forthcoming 'Death of Spider-Man'. It isn't yet clear how the fictional super-hero will...

22.06.11 9:34pm
Woman beats largest theoretical weight loss after reading diet magazine

A Manchester woman was celebrating today after thrashing her previous personal best for theoretical weight loss after reading the magazine “Slimming”. “Some of the stories are just so...

antharrison 22.06.11 7:30pm
Mass walk out in corporate seats as Placido Domingo sings in analog

A live concert by Placido Domingo was disrupted by a mass walkout of digital creatives, furious at the singers decision to perform in analog. 'When I pay top dollar to consume content, I expect it...

ronseal 22.06.11 7:11pm
Accupuncturist fails to cure woman addicted to body piercings. 0
Ian Searle 22.06.11 6:50pm
Ian Searle
Government to float HMRC on the Stock Exchange

In a bold move to reduce the budget deficit, David Cameron announced that Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs would be privatised. It will be rebranded and launched as Taxman PLC. As with all...

brownpaperreporter 22.06.11 6:41pm
Relief as Ai Weiwie is released

Fnarr fnarr! Or possibly, "Prostate society releaved at final release of Ai Weiwie"...

beau-jolly 22.06.11 6:27pm
Call For Supermarkets To Make Their Bags More Customer-Friendly......

.As at the moment, "easier to get into a virgin's knickers," said one customer...

Jesse Bigg 22.06.11 6:04pm
Jesse Bigg
M62 Corridor To Be Widened.....

..To allow more Rugby League clubs to play in the area...

Jesse Bigg 22.06.11 5:44pm
Jesse Bigg

Revellers attending the Glastonbury music festival this week are warned that a significant group of ticketless alligators have once again breached the perimeter fence of what will almost certainly be...

woodsy 22.06.11 5:38pm
Man Who Threw A Bag Of Chips At Cameron.......

..Told to get back in line by the chippy's counter staff, as fish not ready yet...

Jesse Bigg 22.06.11 5:34pm
Jesse Bigg
Earth's future hangs in balance as Surrey Council's climate change team strike

The strike over public sector pension took a grave turn yesterday, when Surrey County Council's climate change team decided to refuse to work. 'The council kept them on when others got made...

ronseal 22.06.11 5:15pm
'We wanted to give him a good shot' as Dissidents defend photographer incident 0
Basil_B 22.06.11 4:10pm
KLM plans to fly planes on bottle pot exhalations 0
simonjmr 22.06.11 3:49pm
Generalisations always have exceptions

(prompted by discussion of merits of BMW, etc)...

Sinnick 22.06.11 3:29pm
Moral philosopher gives ethical guidelines to Bankers

The Financial Services Authority has enlisted the world’s leading moral philosopher, Guru Viswan from the mountains of Tibet, to provide ethical guidelines for bankers, it was revealed this week. ...

Dick Everyman 22.06.11 2:29pm
Dick Everyman
Int Space Station outraged over biennial rubbish collection

Eric Pickles, has been forced to admit he cannot compel the European Space Agency to collect the refuse from the International Space Station more often. The ESA announced that the ATV-Johannes...

Erlang 22.06.11 2:20pm
Tory MEPs defy cap on arse gas emissions

Flatulent MEPs are refusing to back down in a row over caps on UK rectal gas emissions. The Tory MEPs - a mixture of bloated, over-fed men from the Shires and retired city bankers with an aversion...

PamChristianAnderson 22.06.11 2:12pm