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Volcanic Ash Cloud Threatens BA Strike 0
Deimos 4 years

The Unite Union today expressed disappointment and frustration that the Icelandic volcano was threatening its planned BA cabin crew strike. However, cabin crew themselves were more defiant...

John Terry condemns Wembley pitch 1
Doctor Jalapeno 4 years

'It won't take a stud' complains former England captain...

Modern day Robin Hood 'disillusioned' with job 3
fernandomando 4 years

Robert Hodson, famous for his job as the 'modern day Robin Hood' has expressed his concerns about his job publicly, and for the first time. 'I took this job for noble reasons,' he said, 'I was...

Liberal Democrat Party fails PAT testing due to 'defective Cable'. 0
Jammydodgers 4 years

"This Appliance is in a highly dangerous condition" said one engineer., "The slightest whiff of power, and it will give off blue flashes then blow itself apart"...

Rioting in Portsmouth. Not over the football, just because it's Saturday night. 2
MADJEZ 4 years
Large Hadron Collider key in deficit reduction 5
Screaming_Jack 4 years

Sources close to newly installed economic dynamo, George Osbourne have leaked details of the radical plans in the Emergency Budget. Aside from the necessity to heavily tax the poor due to their...

Graham Norton says his favourite Dorothy is Dale Winton 1
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Tory Cuts 1
antharrison 4 years

Please can we have a facility to edit posts after 8 hours...

Doctor Moptop 4 years

Having identified gay marriage and abortion as currently the two biggest threats to Society, Pope Benedict will expand on this theme during his weekly sermon. Referencing various verses in the...

World of Warcraft to start awarding real life achievements 0
themews 4 years

Blizzard entertainment inc. (CA) today announced their intention to start awarding achievements for activities outside of Azeroth, to try to combat criticism that World of Warcraft players lack the...

Clegg insists,if he is to make tea for the cabinet he can choose the biscuits 3
virtuallywill 4 years

"Nice" biscuits...

Eurotunnel to run replacement dinghy service 1
virtuallywill 4 years

or, Eurotunnel to run replacement burrowing service which is better...

Volcanic ash cloud makes petulant return after being second best to the election 0
Basil_B 4 years

in the news for the last few weeks...

Administrators set to confiscate the F.A cup from Portsmouth should they win it. 0
Basil_B 4 years
Fluck and Law 'thrilled' at return of Tory-baiting Spitting Image 1
QorbeQ 4 years

Peter Fluck and Roger Law, two of the original creators of satirical television show Spitting Image, are said to be 'thrilled' that the programme is set to return to screens nationwide, following the...

Chuckle Brothers throw their hats into the ring for Labour leadership battle 0
Basil_B 4 years

More bucket of water hurling soon...

News Flash 0
tiny tim 4 years

[bIt has just been anounced that Lord suger has been arrested on suspicion of sexualy assaulting bags of potatoes in Convent garden market in the 1960s,after confessing on the first episode of...

Polished mahogany teeth implants prove very popular 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

'White is boring' says Robert Nash, CEO of Wooden Pegs Ltd, makers of hard wood tooth implants and false teeth. 'Our mahogany teeth are particularly popular with pianists. They match a Steinway very...

Lord Mandelson to leave politics for unspecified job on Death Star 0
virtuallywill 4 years

CV in sub space...

Miliband brothers reach agreement - loser of leadership contest gets top bunk 0
Chip Paper 4 years
Dismay as stabbed Labour MP revealed not to be Ed Balls 2
Zen 4 years
Cain and Abel confirm both standing for Labour leadership. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

More Biblical fratricide soon...

Chris Grayling Appointed Special Advisor to the Bed & Breakfast Industry 1
Doctor Moptop 4 years

Chris Grayling clarified his new role in Government. "For far too long the British Bed & Breakfast industry has been the laughing stock of Europe. I've been appointed at the cost of £137,961...

National Moth Night in crisis as volunteers' uniforms mysteriously disappear. 1
dominic_mcg 4 years
New health & safety laws in the fishing industry leave fishermen seething 0
Basil_B 4 years

as they are told that all electric eels caught by them will have to be PAT tested under the strict rules of Portable Appliance Tested standard. As if that wasn't bad enough they are also told that...

Junior Apprentice star to expand market share from Living Room to Dining Room 0
themews 4 years

"Business." Lord Alan Sugar told us yesterday, "is all about potential talent. Education or qualifications don't mean shit when it comes to making money. It's all about getting the right people at...

British politics establishes the milliband as new unit of measurement. 0
themews 4 years

The Labour party have recently announced radical plans to renormalise the political spectrum by ushering in their new political unit, the milliband (abbreviated to 'mb'). In doing so they have paved...

Equality Campaigners welcome Britain's first gay prime ministers 0
themews 4 years

The campaign for gay and transgendered rights was today given an unprecedented boost at a press conference to introduce the liberal-conservative coalition. David Cameron and Nick Clegg, the first...

'Lady in Red' avoids dancing with me in Bangkok 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

with a nod to other writers on the topic. And also, a certain reluctance to write it...

Crisis as Man from Del Monti leaves red sock in wash. 0
MightyBlair 4 years

One's loss another's gain as Dylon appoints new figurehead...