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Fewer Parents Calling Their Newborn Son, 'Dave'

"He'll only get called 'twat' in the playground," said one couple...

Jesse Bigg 02.06.11 8:01pm
greg various
Aggressive German E.coli a novel bacterial "Master Race". More Soon. 0
Al OPecia 02.06.11 7:16pm
Al OPecia
Queen to acknowledge financial austerity by celebrating diamonique jubilee

Buckingham Palace has today announced that the Queen will alter her 60th anniversary celebrations in 2012 to recognise the fragile state of the economy. Following in the footsteps of the Duke and...

evilsuperstar 02.06.11 6:48pm
Latest On Foreign Secretary Hague's "Lone Tory Medal".......

..Presented to him by the leader of Wath-on-Dearne Council, South Yorkshire., Hague occasionally polishes it...

Jesse Bigg 02.06.11 6:01pm
Jesse Bigg
Embarrassment as US ‘Giant Monkey Alarm’ cancelled 56 years after order issued.

The US secretary of defense announced today that the Giant Monkey Alert has been downgraded to ‘Less likely than Godzilla’ so that the government can concentrate on the threat of global terrorism...

SingingHinny 02.06.11 5:08pm
Cameron to attack Spain after two hour launch threat of cucumbers is revealed. 0
Basil_B 02.06.11 4:15pm
Quick check on Sepp Blatter's address book clearly reveals he knows no shame 0
Basil_B 02.06.11 4:01pm
BBC news story wins coveted 'Dullest story ever' award

The BBC news story 'Three quarters of UK workers half an hour from work' has already been given the dullest news story this millenium award., 'We realise we may have gone a little early with this,'...

Screenie 02.06.11 3:57pm
be reasonable
Bank robber finds his PPI doesn't cover him for being jailed.

No house soon...

greg various 02.06.11 3:56pm
greg various
French supermarkets to negotiate surrender terms with new German E. coli strain 0
Qoxiivi 02.06.11 3:50pm
"Order 40 McDs burgers with fresh salad" say German extreme sport fanatics 0
thackaray 02.06.11 3:47pm
Football Internationals in shirt lifting ban

FIFA’s executive committee has today announced a series of new regulations governing international matches. One proposal that has now been adopted was submitted by the Federation of Uganda...

Dick Everyman 02.06.11 3:25pm
be reasonable
“New strain” of E-coli may be aware of irony. 0
SingingHinny 02.06.11 3:03pm
Glasgow Waitrose misprices beer at 1/3 price. Bargain at £5 per bottle. 0
charlies_hat 02.06.11 2:39pm
Indignant F1 Stewards accuse Lewis Hamilton of 'Playing the Race Car' 2
pinxit 02.06.11 2:00pm
NASA Admits Faking Woodstock 2
mugwump 02.06.11 1:59pm
German police discover secret Al Qaeda cucumber farm. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 02.06.11 1:48pm
Man fails to develop superpowers after bite from radioactive Japanese spider

A UK tourist was left feeling "cheated" after being bitten by a spider while visiting a zoo close to the beleaguered Fukushima nuclear plant., Pete Wrayford of Bath later complained of not being...

dicky37 02.06.11 1:29pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Tesco to sell grandmothers for sixpence 0
beau-jolly 02.06.11 1:01pm
Bum note

Pippa Middleton's backside is new judge on Britain's Got Talent - more soon...

FraserWords 02.06.11 1:00pm
Royals award Diamond Jubilee to North Korea

BRITAIN’S Royal family has awarded the 2012 Diamond Jubilee to North Korea., Chief negotiator the Duke of Edinburgh revealed the decision to ask the controversial Asian nation to host the...

FraserWords 02.06.11 12:57pm
Pandemic feared as source of E Coli. outbreak traced to Sepp Blatter’s mouth .

The deadly E Coli. outbreak cutting a swathe through Central Europe has been traced to the mouth of Sepp Blatter, after the autocratic FIFA president was spotted spouting huge quantities of faeces . ...

Gary Stanton 02.06.11 12:56pm
Gary Stanton
India outsources jobs to Glasgow

The Indian Ministry of Communication and Information Technology (IMCIT) announced today that it is to outsource two hundred call-centre jobs to Glasgow. Earlier contenders Stoke-on-Trent and Merthyr...

Dick Everyman 02.06.11 12:51pm
Dick Everyman
Tipp-Ex to sponsor new correctional facility

[More soon]...

dicky37 02.06.11 12:45pm
Pastry chef with Bombe strapped to leg stages bake-off in Bank 0
simonjmr 02.06.11 12:36pm
Security checks completed on new Fifa executives, Dr Ubungme & General M'Bezzla 1
ronseal 02.06.11 12:28pm
Peter Kaye tribute act conceeds "I'm just a fat northerner remembering things" 0
simonjmr 02.06.11 12:20pm
Sepp Blatter offered new executive role at Haringay Social Services 0
ronseal 02.06.11 11:55am
New Incoterm introduced, UHP (Undelivered Hijacked by Pirates) 0
Iamthestig 02.06.11 11:17am
British diet 'unaffected' by caution over e-coli. 0
SingingHinny 02.06.11 10:52am