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As Rugby World cup hots up UK employers braced for the Great British Fake Cough 0
simonjmr 19.09.11 11:34am
Torres tipped for Man Utd's player of the season.

Following his breathtaking performance in Sunday's early season potential title decider at Old Trafford, new Stretford End poster boy Frenando Torres has been installed as favourite to carry off the...

spoole2112 19.09.11 11:33am
Kate Winslet gong for 'Cringing Sincerity II' Enjoy....

Dick Everyman 19.09.11 11:16am
Dick Everyman
Crinkly-scone cutting blamed for worker's anal fixation

A pastry cook has been awarded £1.2m in damages after becoming anally fixated following years of cutting out crinkly scones. Mavis Pierce, aged 54 was sacked after more than 30 years of ‘loyal’...

Dick Everyman 19.09.11 10:45am
Dick Everyman
9 year old accused of genocide after entire generation of Miis ‘disappear'

Based on a true story. When 7 year old Lewis awoke this morning he discovered that all his beloved Miis had been ‘disappeared’, and erased from memory in a coup d’etat by his elder brother...

Ian Searle 19.09.11 10:12am
Midfield Diamond
Davina McCall to cover Dale Farm evictions. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 19.09.11 9:49am
Al OPecia
NATO jets readied as UN imposes 'No-fly zone' over Basildon 1
pinxit 19.09.11 9:05am
Doctors Separate Conjoined Twins. NHS Dispute splits Coalition 0
Pagantroll 19.09.11 8:30am
Gaddafi "may be hiding in Dale Farm". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 19.09.11 7:24am
Al OPecia
London Looters Hit UBS

A gang known as ‘The City Boys’ are believed to be behind a looting spree in the City of London where UBS, a Swiss based bank suffered a $2billion loss after criminal elements went on the rampage...

Quaz 18.09.11 11:33pm
Not All Wankers "Self-Indulgent" Claims Kent Masturbator - 2

Incensed at the frequency with which wanking and being self-indulgent are linked, seasoned masturbator Norman Standstill of Kent is launching a campaign hoping to improve the image of wankers like...

Textbook 18.09.11 7:15pm
Strictly spoiler: Russell Grant knows "for a fact" he will win.

Fans of the BBC's sequinned Saturday night dance show are up in arms at unguarded comments made by celebrity contestant Russell Grant. "I only entered because I was able to predict I would win,"...

Boutros 18.09.11 5:24pm
Taxi Drivers, Dogs Respond Equally to Super High-Pitch Whistle 0
Drylaw 18.09.11 11:12am
NHS Midwife Shortage blamed on NHS midwives not having babies on NHS says BUPA

56 year old NHS midwife Sharon Henderson’s mother was a midwife. So was her mother and her grandmother. But Sharon is amongst the growing group of NHS midwives who have refused to have children,...

antharrison 18.09.11 9:39am
Danny Alexander forms bunch of ‘Merry Men’ to take from rich and give to poor

Danny put out a call to the greatest tax inspectors in the land to meet at a tavern on the green. There they will be asked to swear a vow to help the ordinary people. They will also be expected to...

Ian Searle 18.09.11 9:34am
Lib Dem Danny Alexander talks about life after Friends.

The Treasury Secretary talks exclusively to Newsbiscuit about his ten years playing Chandler Bing on hit show Friends and his new role as a token Lib Dem in the cabinet. As he is now.,...

MADJEZ 18.09.11 8:22am
Club Hit "Dick And Balls" Brings Pop Music To New Lyrical Heights - 2

"Going to the club with my dick and my balls (WHUT?), My dick and my balls (HEEEEEEEY), My dick and my balls (HOOOOOOO), Going to the club with my dick and my balls (WHUT?), And they as big as...

Textbook 18.09.11 8:04am
Jane Hair Salon grand opening this week in Haworth. 3
rikkor 18.09.11 6:18am
McGuinness prepared to meet Queen. Jock strap and box in place 0
Pagantroll 17.09.11 11:17pm
Vet’s low consultation fee blamed for pensioner’s sudden death

Relatives of Grimsby pensioner, Ethel Dulwhinney, are considering legal action following her sudden death at the Little Friends’ Veterinary Clinic in August. Mrs Dulwhinney aged 79 had taken her...

Dick Everyman 17.09.11 9:16pm
Dick Everyman
Recession latest - a picture is now worth only 893 words. 1
Iscariot 17.09.11 7:15pm
Waterstones offer 3 for 2 on anthology edition of 'All My Best Jokes Explained' 6
Pagantroll 17.09.11 7:13pm
England Humbled by Dwarf Nation

"They can chuck us around a bar when they're showing off to the sheilas but when it comes to the bit they're just beery old tossers," said Dwarf captain Tiny Thompson yesterday as his team savoured...

Drylaw 17.09.11 3:17pm
I hear youve been having some trouble John?

Bloggs I mean,hes taking libertys,hes needs to be stopped,the guys a maniac,hes crazy,listen John,youve been like a father to me,a father I never had,I carry your photo in my wallet,Ive a big picture...

The Fat Man 17.09.11 2:11pm
Royal Mail to issue commemorative 50p stamp with Nick Clegg's head 0
Pagantroll 17.09.11 1:40pm
Bankrupt Cricket Club visited by bailiffs. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 17.09.11 1:30pm
Al OPecia
Card clubs "Still riddled with institutionalised Pelmanism"

Results of a year-long undercover investigation...

Skungpoomery 17.09.11 12:30pm
Cash-strapped Surgical Bra manufacturer goes tits up 0
pinxit 17.09.11 12:18pm
No CBeebies for Post Op Pat

Richard Deverell, controller of Children’s Entertainment at the BBC has confirmed the network is to axe one of its most enduring children’s programmes which will usher in the end of one of the...

Gerontius 17.09.11 12:12pm
Chattering classes in Henley-on-Thames outraged

"Spoof news website makes us look totally stupid" alleges Humphrey Featherstonhaugh.

Scroat 17.09.11 12:08pm