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'Giving pep-talks to garden snakes' probably a symptom of Asp urgers syndrome 3
Username 11.03.12 7:33pm
Alcoholism cured in one trip to the doctors 4
medici2471 11.03.12 5:02pm
Cameron orders anger management for cross section of coalition MPs.

On hearing that a cross section of government MPs were displeased with coalition polices David Cameron has ordered that they are identified and given anger management treatment. 'I am convinced that...

weematt 11.03.12 4:07pm
Oasis to reform as Oasis tribute band 4
Mandy Lifeboat 11.03.12 12:21pm
Nails UK
Toilet roll sales soar after Kate pays visit

The British Toilet Paper industry got a welcome boost yesterday when the Duchess of Cambridge was spotted coming out of a supermarket lavatory with a piece of toilet paper stuck to one shoe....

Nails UK 11.03.12 12:00pm
Desparng edtors remove letter from alphabet to kll tdal wave of weak phone gags 2
cinquecento 11.03.12 11:05am
Hasbro launches new Action Man "Berzerker" outfit 0
Nails UK 11.03.12 10:49am
Nails UK
Punners despair as Apple launches jPhone 3
cinquecento 11.03.12 10:33am
pere floza
Toys R Us to introduce range of KiddieTazers for parents. More soon. 8
Al OPecia 11.03.12 10:31am
Al OPecia
Woman erroneously rescued by coastguard "not drowning but waving" 0
Nails UK 11.03.12 10:27am
Nails UK
Man who caught disease from large military ship thinks it was probably a carrier 0
Smart Alex 11.03.12 10:18am
Smart Alex
B&Q to enter healthcare market with DIY surgery kits

Released alongside a set of useful "How To" leaflets in a variety of languages...

Nails UK 11.03.12 10:12am
Nails UK
Shops blackmailed as man threatens to cross out suffocation warnings on bags 0
Smart Alex 11.03.12 10:06am
Smart Alex
Shock result as woman's ashes voted in as new Mayor of London

Boris Johnson last night said he was "shocked and astounded" at the news that the new Mayor of London was the late Mrs Doris Gruntly. Mrs Gruntly, an independent candidate from Tottenham, died last...

Nails UK 11.03.12 10:00am
Nails UK
US soldier guns down Afghan civilians "To save our busy Pilots the bother"

more later...

dvo4fun 11.03.12 9:37am
2 dead as pilot mishears instruction as 'land plane on brazilian hair strip' 1
Perks 11.03.12 8:05am
Mother delights grown-up children with stories of food bargains

Proving the saying "a penny saved is a story to be told", Redhill resident Mary Kennedy has been delighting her grown-up children with stories of special offers and food bargains every time they have...

bonjonelson 11.03.12 7:03am
Man who steals horse/donkey hybrids diagnosed with ass-burglars syndrome.

Inspired by Mr. Manley’s fine effort...

John Ffitch-Rucker 10.03.12 10:00pm
Sexually sublimated underwear manufacturer makes Freudian slip

(That's when you mean to say one thing but say your mother)...

beau-jolly 10.03.12 9:42pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Scientists discover a parent 'made of money' growing on trees 0
Perks 10.03.12 7:13pm
Boy with Big Mac stuck up his backside diagnosed with ass-burgers syndrome.

Sorry about that. At least I didn't put Whopper...

Haywood Manley 10.03.12 4:34pm
Haywood Manley
Lib Dems vote in favour of pledge not to embarrass Nick Clegg anymore. 0
10.03.12 2:56pm
Fears 'The Wizard of Oz' may be forced to close over Nick Clegg's Typhoon Tax

Friends of Dorothy disrought...

Ian Searle 10.03.12 11:35am
Ian Searle
Ken Dodd admits 'Tears for Souvenirs' failed to attract holiday makers. 0
Ian Searle 10.03.12 11:34am
Ian Searle
Jonny Vegas and Monkey offer support for Nick Clegg's Typhoo Tax 0
Ian Searle 10.03.12 11:33am
Ian Searle
Prince Harry keen to forge close links with Brazillians. 0
Ian Searle 10.03.12 11:32am
Ian Searle
Boris Johnson to establish pushchair lanes 0
hughesroland 10.03.12 10:40am
Masonic Order "undermined" by electric handshake shockers

Mr. Nigel Ford, Grand Exhibitor of the Masonic Order, today claimed that lighthearted use of electric shockers by younger Masons was undermining the treasured position of the order in British life.,...

Tom55 10.03.12 10:10am
David Cameron to speed up adoption process for Nick Clegg

The prime minister has vowed to tackle ‘absurd barriers to mixed-party adoption’ as he sets out proposals to fast-track Nick Clegg into the Conservative home. ‘Nick has been with us now for...

Ludicity 10.03.12 9:58am
Drew Brees tired of being unappreciated, decides to appreciate himself. 14
Brian Malloy 10.03.12 8:09am
John Ffitch-Rucker