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Manager rejects calls for England players to rerturn via Wooton Bassett 0
hero2zero 4 years

Meantime residents, The British Legion and city dignitaries say the would wellcome the opportunity to give them a fitting parade!...

Bored sewage worker just going through the motions. 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 4 years

Just like the England team...

Shock result as England defenders refuse to play on the sabbath. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Chariots of Fire director Hugh Hudson lined up for the movie...

Dead Pop Star's Socks Sell for £1million 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

Scratch n sniff...

Cake tin sales soar as Apple admits they get better reception than new Iphone 1
exigo 4 years
Psychic octopus spooks England Sqid. More soon. 2
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Government sets targets for your further retardation as a human being 1
la maga 4 years

In what they describe as 'a natural move forward' from the policies of the previous government and the one before that, the coalition government have for the first time set measurable targets for...

Housing designs to aid jobless mobility 0
sauce 4 years,, (The second should be captioned: 'the only way is up')...

Jobless to be fitted with castors 1
virtuallywill 4 years

move along...

Bailiffs delighted with new role as 'jobless to get help to move' 3
sauce 4 years
Nick Clegg offered incentive to move somwhere nearer a job. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Modern-day Shirley Valentine disappointed by lack of grand prix in Monaco. 0
MightyBlair 4 years
David Miliband launches his secret weapon in Labour leadership race. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years

David Miliband has made his first major attempt to break free from his brother and broaden his appeal to the voting public by unveiling his new secret weapon, a large St Bernard dog called Schnorbitz...

Vampires in Bimbledom. 0
afternoonslow 4 years

With the world full of young women longing for the Undead and sleeping with their bedroom windows open,desperately hoping for a handsome visitor to fly in …. ...

Spitting Wimbledon player claims he was controlled by Bob Carolgees. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Phlegm soon...

'All Migrants to wear Caps' Misunderstanding 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

'We said we shall put a cap on migrants not that migrants will wear caps' said an exasperated Govt spokesman in response to criticism from civil liberty groups...

Channel 4 Announce "Channel 4 -1" channel 1
Pabst Blue Ribbon 4 years

Channel 4 have announced the addition of a new channel to their digital TV portfolio, to be called "Channel 4 -1". Channel 4 -1 will broadcast on freeview channel 43 and feature all Channel 4...

Workers dismayed at `on yer bike `plans 0
Rob Browning 4 years

The governments announcement of assisting workers to relocate for jobs took a new turn, when it was revealed that they would be shipped to the far easttiger economies in containers.A govt spokesman...

Danone in crisis 0
hero2zero 4 years

Researchers in Danone were in turmoil yesterday as "Cleaning lady with a spray" kills 99% 0f all germs, dead!...

US Congress approves tough new sanctions against Ghana 0
Dumbnews 4 years
"I ate all the pies" admits fat bastard. 1
Psycadelic Squirrel 4 years

More pies soon...

Plastic surgeon 'a bit flimsy'. 1
Zadok the second 4 years
UK Population to be Controlled By a New Hunting Season 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

'We think Darwin would have approved. After all if you can't outrun a pack of hounds then what use are you to society?' said a spokesman...

G20 Distracted by Drunken Arm Wrestling Contest 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

Late night conversations between world leaders ended up in a drunken arm wrestling contest. 'No wanted wanted to back down in case it was seen as sign of lack of virility' said an aide.'The jackets...

Office cynic suspects other cynics just faking their cynicism to fit in 0
Pabst Blue Ribbon 4 years
Jonathon Ross to present new-look ‘Sowf Bank Show’. 0
MightyBlair 4 years

After months of intense speculation over his next career move, it has been confirmed that Jonathon Ross is to replace Melvyn Bragg as host of the South Bank Show. ‘We are delighted to announce that...

Annoying know-it-all diagnosed with ought-ism. 0
Zadok the second 4 years
Jacko sued for 'wrongful life'. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Airstrike called as all Britains smug bastards found in field near Glastonbury. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Intelligence agencies have tipped off the PM that nearly all the irritating smug bastards in the country have gathered together near Glastonbury for some sort of rally. David Cameron is being urged...

The Northwest at risk of desertification as water runs low. 1
Dun Dunkin 4 years

The south east to ship used swimming pool water to northern households hardest hit. 'We don't need it anymore and if it helps them out. We'll also throw in a bottle of mineral water',' said a sussex...