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Cameron and Clegg Revealed as British Synchronised Diving Team

The latest British Olympic hopefuls were unveiled at Scunthorpe baths today as David Cameron and Nick Clegg in the synchronised diving. They modelled their trunks (which are a pleasant mid blue with...

Immunis 11.01.12 8:09am
Man in £18k debt after misreading letters stating Speeding, Fine 1
Perks 10.01.12 9:09pm
Surveillance for Olympic Relays as TV Chef Threatens to Half-Inch Batons 0
charlieworth 10.01.12 8:27pm
HS2 go-ahead "A welcome boost" for cash-strapped east-european building industry 4
dvo4fun 10.01.12 7:21pm
Roberto Mancini caught stealing players

The manager of mega-rich Manchester City FC, Roberto Mancini, has been caught stealing a professional footballer. Following his team's defeat against Manchester United on Sunday, Sir Alex Ferguson...

kga6 10.01.12 7:09pm
Porn Oscars Told: Watch Out! The Brits are Coming 1
thisisall1word 10.01.12 6:38pm
HS2 will make shoplifting too fast for CCTV

The cost of attempting recipes on TV programmes was given a boost today by HS2; CCTV will be unable to detect unapid items in supermarkets, making them accessible for all...

Laughingstock 10.01.12 6:10pm
Jar Jar Binks Wins New Hampshire Primary

Outsider Jar Jar Binks was hailed as the new Republican favourite this morning after having swept a massive winning margin in the New Hampshire Primary. His policies on abortion and gay marriage went...

Immunis 10.01.12 5:51pm
Campaigners say something a bit whiffy about H2S train link proposal

more soon, for the chemists amongst you...

bonjonelson 10.01.12 4:09pm
Stephen Hawking not ill at all, just very, very, drunk.

The scientific world accidentally revealed one of its best kept secrets today, which has shocked the world of academe, popular media and broadcasting. Professor Hawking was crossing a road in...

Al OPecia 10.01.12 3:16pm
Madeley, Worral Thompson, Ryder, Lohan and Gerrard to record charity record

"Shoplifters of the world unite" More soon...

simonjmr 10.01.12 2:55pm
Critics say HS2 promises ‘worthless’ without high-speed replacement buses 3
Duncan Biscuit 10.01.12 2:23pm
Study finds frequent breaks from surfing the web increases office productivity 0
Dumbnews 10.01.12 2:15pm
Celebrities endorse ‘random word generator’ for baby name choices 1
PReady 10.01.12 12:12pm
Fear as gushing Arsenal fans show signs of spreading new disease - Thierry Ennui 0
simonjmr 10.01.12 12:06pm
Worrell-Thompson's New Cookery Show.....

.Ready, Steady, Took...

Jesse Bigg 10.01.12 9:59am
John Ffitch-Rucker
“My race for power is not over” says Milliband.

“Oh, yes it is", says everyone else., Well, it is panto season...

John Ffitch-Rucker 10.01.12 9:58am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Orpington to Victoria high speed rail link approved

The government has announced today that the Transit 1 High Speed rail link from Orpington to London Victoria is to go ahead at a cost of £20 billion. The 17 mile trip currently takes an average of...

Gong of Fur 10.01.12 9:42am
Gymnastic's giant backflip "turned her world upside down" 0
kimllfixit 10.01.12 9:40am
Security alert as Al Qaeda submarine found in Olympic swimming pool. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 10.01.12 9:35am
"Occupy" movement in turmoil as Millets close down

More to follow...

apepper 10.01.12 9:14am
HS2 go-ahead announcement crackly and incomprehensible 1
Duncan Biscuit 10.01.12 9:12am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Newsryebread launched as a healthier alternative to Newsbiscuit 0
Duncan Biscuit 10.01.12 9:09am
Duncan Biscuit
Suarez pips Giggs to win FIFA Merde D’Or 0
Duncan Biscuit 10.01.12 9:08am
Duncan Biscuit
Met office advised to have 2 dry days per week. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 10.01.12 9:08am
Major Clanger
Coe left reeling as Ovett pips him to chairmanship on final bend.

Steve Ovett has overtaken Seb Coe to become Chairman of the London Organising Committee on the final lap of the 2012 Olympic preparations. Ovett timed his surprise manoeuvre perfectly at the first...

Boutros 09.01.12 11:33pm
Shower of Jack Russells in Suffolk signals start of "rain of terriers" 4
Nick McCarr 09.01.12 11:32pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Geordies disappointed at 'wor horse' premier.

'Nay, lad, it's no' about where us lives'...

John Ffitch-Rucker 09.01.12 10:33pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Cheltenham Celebrates 100th Straight Postcode Lottery Win 0
thisisall1word 09.01.12 10:04pm
Wry smiles abound as Jeremy Clarkson's ancestry traced to Jamaica. 0
Worth 09.01.12 10:03pm