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R&A ban Fuzzy Zoeller from the Open, believed to be case of mistaken identity 0
Gary Baldy 4 years
Met Police snipers sent to hunt Moat: local electricians warned to stay indoors 1
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

. A crack armed response squad from London's Metropolitan Police force is set to join the hunt for Raoul Moat. Safety experts have warned electricians that it might be unsafe to venture out....

Police to celebrate capture of Durham psycho with a glass of Moat 1
simonjmr 4 years
Guardian - "Elton John to focus on bums" 1
rickwestwell 4 years
Police team frightened to leave Alnwick castle in case Moat has them surrounded. 3
wallster 4 years
Uniformed pig to be used as 'bait' in gunman trap 1
QorbeQ 4 years
Clegg accuses Cameron of substance abuse: 'he used Bold 2-in-1 for non-bio wash' 0
QorbeQ 4 years
If you are gay or lesbian you have the fucqing right to stay in the UK 0
4ty2 4 years

New twist in liberal legislation gives gay and lesbian asylum seekers the "fucqing right" to stay in Britain. For moral and linguistic reasons and with the liberals having to promote gay and lebian...

Sangin ‘retreat’ blamed on swarm of killer bees 0
Gary Stanton 4 years

The British ‘withdrawal’ from Sangin has nothing to do with the Taliban doing rather well and everything to do with a massive colony of pissed-off killer bees who have set up home in the area, a...

Norfolk Register Office budget cuts, sibling records 'to be merged with parents' 0
QorbeQ 4 years
Cheryl Cole told to make two tabloids twice a day... 0
Iamthestig 4 years

More soon no doubt...

Man glued to TV for 76 hours could have been rescued earlier 0
Iamthestig 4 years

DIY enthusiast Norman Harewood was questioned by Police today after it was revealed that his rescue could have occured after 20 minutes, and not the 76 hours it eventually took. Mr. Harewood had...

Artisan man-fat producer hailed for 'seminal' fluids. 0
MightyBlair 4 years

More coming, coming, soon ....

Long Term BNP Member Thrown Out for Getting a Suntan 0
Svendo 4 years

A long standing member of the BNP has been ousted after he was spotted lying in his garden sunbathing. Billy Hacerater was seen relaxing on a reclining lounger in his front garden during the recent...

Ronaldo Chrisitano reveals he scooped up the sperm from his alledged 0
arrghgarry 4 years

girlfriends back and passed it on to the surrogate mom in the next bed ., It was a rush job as the hospital was about to make a porn film...

Small flakes of flint 'the last thing I f*cking need' says jaded archaeologist 1
QorbeQ 4 years
Secret revealed as man admits ‘I was the hysterical male fan in Beatles film.' 5
Stan 4 years

46 year old secret revealed as man finally admits ‘I was the lone hysterical male fan in Beatles film’ A 63 year old man was forced to admit that he was indeed the sole hysterical male amongst...

Noel Edmonds to broker US deal to swap Russian spies for Scalextric and Atari 1
rickwestwell 4 years
Fifty armed officers in search for Moat 'much quicker than those with two arms' 5
QorbeQ 4 years
The Predator to lobby government on human hunting ban 2
Darkbill 2.0 4 years

The Predator, a member of an aggressive alien warrior race, will today meet with David Cameron in an attempt to overturn the ban on hunting human beings for sport. The previous government ruled that...

French medical staff successfully complete the first full faced transplant 0
arrghgarry 4 years

Sarkozy asks was his face really that repugnant...

ACMD extends clamp down on legal highs - placebos to be outlawed 0
paulvw 4 years

The ACMD is to recommend that Placebo, a substance at present freely available for sale, is to be added to the list of controlled substances. An ACMD spokesman said that " We have found that its...

British troops "merely advancing in reverse" 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Raoul Moat is holding 3 police officers hostage and their car ,he will not 0
arrghgarry 4 years

release them until they pay the 435 pounds clamping charge ,and a pack of 2HB pencils and a pad of Basildon Bond vellum...

Researchers discover "dead end branch of the human evolutionary tree" in Norfolk 0
andhrimnir 4 years

Must be a slow news day...

Deities 'joyful, triumphant' following referendum success 0
QorbeQ 4 years

The global leader in religion, known in some languages simply as 'God', has given in to pressure from his peers and finally agreed to a referendum on how belief in deities is allocated among mortals....

Octopus put down by vet after predicting England will win World Cup Final. 0
Stan 4 years
Raoul Moat hopes to be sent to Vietnam, Afghanistan and Burma, 0
simonjmr 4 years

During his 18 weeks incarceration in Durham prison Raoul Moat carfully planned out his future career path outside of jail. Inmates have pointed out that Raoul Moat spent several hours discussing his...

I was unsighted by psychic octopus, says Uruguayan referee 0
Oxbridge 4 years
Media delighted by another excuse to show picture of Anna Chapman > 2
Ludicity 4 years