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St Georges flag shortage fuels price hike 0
Laughingstock 4 years

The demand for St Georges flags has led to severe shortages that has now led to a price hike. A spokesman for Flags Mean Losers stated the demand had been far greater than China believed...

Cameron horrified to find Helmand, Province not on Cote d'Azur 0
edward hack 4 years
On the eve of the World Cup, South Africa say they don't want it anymore. 2
Basil_B 4 years

Earth shattering news for the footballs biggest tournament was announced today as the South African Government told awaiting reporters that they didn't want the World Cup in their country anymore and...

Oil leak to be plugged with dead sea birds 0
suki 4 years
TV licensing authority issues warning 1
hero2zero 4 years

The licensing authority today warned people under seventy-five over the requirement for a TV licence for the new, ever-growing in popularity HD Digital tattoos. Tattoo Movies, shown on the back have...

England prepares for a month of self flaggellation. more soon 0
Mrblacker 4 years
Pope Benedict XVI chooses first XI for opening match 0
virtuallywill 4 years

more later...

Junior Apprentice winner gets bag of sweets 1
edward hack 4 years

No added Sugar...

Obama may well compensate families of 500,000 Iraqi oil war dead, says idealist 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

The families of half a million victims of the Iraq oil war, another million Bhopal Gas holocaust victims and countless other US commercial 'malfunctions' could be in line foe bezillions of dollars of...

Cameron to re-colonise US after 'upstart' Obama criticises BP 0
ED209 4 years

Enraged by Obama's 'incessant bleating about a bit of oil', David Cameron has today announced that the Royal Navy will send a task force to recolonise America. The Royal Navy bravely set sail across...

Lord Sugar fires John McDonnell from Leadership Election 0
euankitson 4 years

Diane Abbott scrapes through...

Scientists uncover evidence that Mars had really shitty weather too 0
Darkbill 2.0 4 years

US scientists claim to have found evidence that proves Mars not only had a thriving eco-system of rivers and lakes, but that the weather was probably abysmal. Jay McAndliss, a researcher, says:...

BB-11 'too PC' as housemate calls legless one-eyed man 'the one in the red top' 0
QorbeQ 4 years
Culinary Sharked Jumped with Heston Blumenthal's Mash and Blue Food Colouring 0
thisisall1word 4 years
American call center employs British women to explain the offside rule 0
ramblesnake 4 years
BP shares slip on patch of oil 0
edward hack 4 years

'John Barnes rap is one letter short of the truth' say humanitarians Xbox to bring out regional version for north east gamers - The Sweatbox...

England disappointed World Cup doesn't involve football on Xbox 0
Mrblacker 4 years
South African Syllable Police anticipate mass World Cup arrests 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

“Our boys are pripared” says Werne Van Klopp of the Syllable Police “we av sin these soccer fans comin to our beloved Sarth Ifrika and order must be maintained. We anticipate nah problem vrom...

Thousands gutted to learn that Hyperbole is not a Football game 0
euankitson 4 years
Wayne Rooney South African Odyssey - A Blog of but one half. 0
thisisall1word 4 years

10th June 2010, Yellow Cards: 0 (of course! not played yet), Sins: 2 (large Gin and Tonic and a spiced apple cake - v nice - but did extra laps and a few more lengths of the pool so maybe evened...

Apple sales soar in The City, even the Bank tube announcer says "Mind the iGap" 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Idiots' joy at UN ruling that countries should write their names on their flags 5
The Paper Ostrich 4 years

Stupid people have said they are 'relieved and delighted' by a UN agreement requiring countries to write their names in big letters on their flags. The ruling follows years of campaigning...

USA - England match to be decided by diplomatic talks, says Obama 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Bruce Willis and Whoopie Goldberg to team up in latest movie... 4
Iamthestig 4 years

"Old Habits Die Hard!"...

Underdog world cup teams set hopes high for a goalless match 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Obama proposes FIFA's red card system be replaced with tribunals 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Afghan pregnancy rate soars as UK bomb experts neutralise thousands of IUDs 0
pinxit 4 years

'Ooops' say M.O.D...

IPhone release World Cup app that translates players swear words 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Hamas rejects Israel-approved snack foods for not including Hummus 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Man who laid turf in front room "unlikely to lay anything else", say friends 3
rickwestwell 4 years