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Palin emails: number of chimps needed to type Shakespeare revised down

I done loved the gun you brunged me, it shoots bears real swell...

10.06.11 5:46pm
Balls denies siding with a cock to fuck an arsehole.

More Team America:World Police soon...

SingingHinny 10.06.11 4:45pm
Stephen Fry bemused at reaction to his renaming Dam Buster dog 'Spit' 0
pinxit 10.06.11 4:38pm
Chief Druid slams ‘unelected coalition’ of the Holy Trinity

Britain’s self-styled Chief Druid, Arthur Pendragon today criticised what he called the unelected coalition of the Holy Trinity. Speaking from his Stonehenge HQ he said that the human race was...

Des and Stan 10.06.11 3:18pm
Des and Stan
Distraught Katie Price says her breast-reduction op has gone 'tits up' 1
pinxit 10.06.11 2:59pm
Facebook recognition software discovers Lord Lucan

90% of dissolute aristocrats with massive gambling debts and who have have murdered one of the staff before buggering orf to South Africa won’t post this as their status...

jp1885 10.06.11 2:58pm
. 2
10.06.11 2:57pm
Ofqual: Only 17% of exam papers have misstakes; the other 86% is fine 0
John Wiltshire 10.06.11 2:15pm
John Wiltshire
Ryanair denies transparency over cost of a ticket

Michael O’Leary, chief executive of Ryanair has emphatically denied that the airline has started to make its online charges “less frightening” for customers following investigations by the...

Dick Everyman 10.06.11 1:58pm
Dick Everyman
Dress like Prince Philip and say what you bloody like, says costume inventor

A new Prince Philip fancy dress costume, that gives the wearer the power to say what the hell they like, has become the UK's best selling fashion item. [HAVEN'T GOT THE TIME TO FINISH THIS. PERHAPS...

ronseal 10.06.11 1:49pm
Outcry as alphabet reordered 'to reflect demands of 21st Century'

The Government is to re-order the letters of the alphabet to reflect modern usage, in a plan which has caused outrage among teachers, parents, and men with carefully ordered CD and DVD collections....

DrTurmoil 10.06.11 12:07pm
Rapture 'will still go ahead' after Listening Exercise, insists God

God has confirmed that plans for the Rapture and the End Times are still going ahead despite the launch of a Listening Exercise this week to consult on the changes. “We recognise that there are...

The Paper Ostrich 10.06.11 12:00pm
Genghis Cohen
Dambusters dog to be renamed Digger for remake of iconic film...

because N-word might offend Americans. Australians now going to sue Stephen Fry...

DiY 10.06.11 11:55am
Ken Clarke to introduce prisoner Nectar points

Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has announced that plans to reduce prison sentences by up to 50% will be abandoned in favour of a new system of HMP Nectar points. Under the scheme those who...

Ludicity 10.06.11 11:46am
Prince Philip says he’ll “slow down” at 90, adding “but gradually, unlike Diana”

More soon Another possible execution: Prince Philip says he’ll "slow down" at 90, adding; "unlike Henri Paul"...

Qoxiivi 10.06.11 10:55am
Mr Payne
Wales thanks Giggs for inspiring 'Welsh sex' jokes that don't involve sheep 2
Oxbridge 10.06.11 10:31am
Alex Reid denies that Chantelle is his type he prefers Authors like his ex

Jordan ,the Author...

doggone 10.06.11 10:25am
‘So that’s why they’re called hacks’ says everyone 0
Duncan Biscuit 10.06.11 10:12am
Duncan Biscuit
Norfolk drought - families asked to share baths rather than beds 0
brownpaperreporter 10.06.11 9:22am
Met Office Warns of Forthcoming Trouble After Arab Spring

Today the UK Meteorological Office has warned UK and EU leaders about potential social unrest and rioting across much of Europe. Following the Arab Spring, the impacts of which are still resonating...

Deimos 10.06.11 9:10am
Slutwalk gets makeover after Trinny & Susannah ambush

"Showing off your tits and legs at the same time in any part of town is a definite no-no," declared the senior fashion police. "They were all asking for it," agreed style judge Gok Wan, "especially...

DrTurmoil 10.06.11 8:31am
Satanists back Archbishop and condemn cut in number of virgins

Satanists have roundly condemned the Coalition government as “far too nice” after Chancellor George Osborne announced a 30% cut in virgin numbers., Dr Philip Potterfield, Lord High Arch Mandrake...

FraserWords 10.06.11 8:28am
Save the Children says more money for immunisation ‘would be a shot in the arm’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 10.06.11 8:15am
Duncan Biscuit
The Wombles to help clear up the festival site after their Glastonbury set 0
Duncan Biscuit 10.06.11 8:14am
Duncan Biscuit
Prince Philip to enjoy winding-down after a life of winding-up 0
Duncan Biscuit 10.06.11 8:14am
Duncan Biscuit
Hair surgeon advises Rooney "No Keepie Uppie" 0
Dick Everyman 10.06.11 8:11am
Dick Everyman
Paul McCartney reveals late wife's flatulence in new book 'Wind Behind My Wings'

[More soon]...

dicky37 10.06.11 7:48am
Prince Charles' "bucket list" goes viral - only one item on it 6
Willy Eckerslike 10.06.11 7:28am
Willy Eckerslike
Grumpy Greek bloke celebrates 90th birthday. 0
DiY 10.06.11 6:13am
Blair to Milliband: 'Follow my lead, Labour is finished'. 0
be reasonable 10.06.11 5:26am
be reasonable