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Saturdays Rapture big flop as 'taken' discover it coincides with Dr Who. 0
Steve Wilson 23.05.11 6:51am
Steve Wilson
Law firm applies for superinjunction on reports that they advised R*** G****

A law firm, which cannot be named, has applied for a super injunction to prevent people finding out that they were the experts who advised R*** G****. 'You can imagine they're pretty embarrassed,...

ronseal 23.05.11 6:31am
Chris Huhne to host Play Your Cards Right?

Energy Secretary Chris Huhne has been asked to host a new series of the classic TV quiz show, 'Play Your Cards Right', formally hosted by Victorian favourite, Bruce Forsyth. Following allegations...

paul_prude 22.05.11 8:53pm
Man spends years trapped in wilderness.

'I didn't realise it was a parallel universe,' said the man. 'I literally lived there for eons, looking to see whether my puns would be accepted into the hallowed halls of journalistic rapture. It...

Mr Payne 22.05.11 8:53pm
Anonymous celebrity's first "is in soccer"

The celebrity, who cannot be named for legal reasons, bought, attended, stole, used, had sex with or participated in a major or minor night club, actress, actor, event, play, TV show, object, city,...

Andrew 22.05.11 7:50pm
Le Creuset Fiend
Novice journalist promises "I'll vote for you if you vote for me."

Spoof news site newbie realizes subtle puns aren't going to crack a tough audience.Promises more obvious jokes in future...

pumpernickle 22.05.11 6:45pm
Trudi Styler 'vaporised' in Tantric blast

After decades of choking back their orgasms, Tantric sexperts Sting and Trudi hit the point of no return with tragic consequences. "One minute we were working the Reverse Gandhi and the next she was...

pere floza 22.05.11 5:57pm
End of the World delayed, due to unforeseen circumstances. 1
deskpilot3 22.05.11 5:55pm
Police post sketch of suspects wanted after toy tiger helicopter search incident

Ian Searle 22.05.11 5:49pm
Twitter takes out super-injunction to protect contributors 0
Sinnick 22.05.11 4:11pm
New downturn warning as hat prices reach only £80000 1
roybland 22.05.11 3:40pm
New British film about fighting for freedom: Saving Ryan's Privates 5
ronseal 22.05.11 2:51pm
McDonald's: Happy Meals for children of all ages

McDonald’s stockholders have voted down a recommendation that the company stop marketing its products to children to counter the growing obesity epidemic among the world's youth. The plan called...

mbalton 22.05.11 2:43pm
Premiership soccerist buys Welsh model several one-horse, sprung carriages...

but not Tilburys, Stanhopes or Whiskeys...

be reasonable 22.05.11 1:48pm
be reasonable
Ryan Giggs shows model his testimonials...

at least, I think that's what they're called...

be reasonable 22.05.11 1:41pm
be reasonable
Famous Welsh model begins UK singing tour; starting with gigs in Manchester 1
thackaray 22.05.11 1:17pm
Ryan Giggs gutted the world didn't end yesterday. 0
MADJEZ 22.05.11 1:09pm
‘Amazon’ warehouse staff have no concept of time.

Anthropologists have discovered a tribe in a large warehouse close to Swansea who appear to have no concept of time and have been cut off from civilisation for many years. When social scientists...

Milo Shame 22.05.11 12:39pm
Milo Shame
BBC sued following coverage of anonymous footballer

Lawyers acting for the footballer seeking anonymity have started legal action against the BBC following their coverage of last Saturday’s football. A representative of the legal firm acting on...

Deimos 22.05.11 12:29pm
Judges block Home Secretary from deporting Nick Clegg

Sighs of disappointment have rung through Conservative headquarters as judges ruled that Nick Clegg couldn't be deported, not in a wooden crate with a nailed down lid or even in a plane toilet...

22.05.11 11:04am
Filming starts on Pirates of the Caribbean #241

Hollywood is said to be buzzing as Disney announces top secret filming of Pirates of the Caribbean, in a nursing home., Director Jerry Bruckheimer has confided "There will be some sea involved, but...

22.05.11 11:00am
Pink drags Jordan by her hair for animal cruelty

Following a film shoot where Jordan put hair extensions on a horse, Pink is purported to have jetted over to the location, socked Jordan in the jaw, glued her hair extensions to the horse's mane and...

22.05.11 10:53am
'Elf N Safety prevents Rapture from taking place

Due to lack of scaffolding being erected in time to assist believers in being propelled to Heaven and not enough mattresses on the ground for when God realises he's accidentally included Tony Blair...

22.05.11 10:46am
Harold Camping rushed to hospital with a rupture.

"I was nearly right", he told reporters. "The words are very similar."...

Tammy Flugh 22.05.11 8:19am
Tammy Flugh
Newsreaders relieved at eruption of Iceland's Grimsvotn volcano

(something about Eyjafjallajokull)...

gaijintendo 22.05.11 8:14am
Vicky Pryce 'has photos of Chris Huhne throwing cat into wheelie bin'... 0
deskpilot3 21.05.11 9:48pm
Superinjunction prevents reporting of those claimed by the rapture

But Ryan Giggs not one of them More soon...

simonjmr 21.05.11 9:47pm
Cable warns of end of the world

no more soon...

roybland 21.05.11 9:39pm
Rapture ruptured as Jesus fails to turn up

American Christian radio broadcaster Harold Camping and his band of merry madmen are said to be furious with Jesus Christ for once again failing to show for a gig. The 89-year old doomsday prophet,...

paul_prude 21.05.11 7:17pm
Christian scientists claim dinosaurs were killed off by a velocirapture 3
bonjonelson 21.05.11 6:35pm