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Beckham retirement was 'because Posh wanted to be a bishop' claim 0
custard cream 20.11.12 7:54pm
custard cream
Justice secretary announces prisoners to be allocated tormentors 0
custard cream 20.11.12 7:50pm
custard cream
Fury at the 3D printer tray as dozens of printed statues remain uncollected

Telly Phonica's office manager Gill E Coston was hopping mad last night as dozens of statues remained unclaimed at her company's prestigious state of the art 3D printer. "Why on earth do people...

ronseal 20.11.12 7:32pm
Universe implodes as Elmo now arrested for sex crime 1
Midnight Dreary 20.11.12 7:03pm
Church fears home baking moratorium after synod rejects women Bishops 0
Nowherefast 20.11.12 6:38pm
Anglican hardliners prepare to bash the bishop vote 0
ginty 20.11.12 6:09pm
"Lord McAlpine murdered Barry Chuckle" - Twitter latest 2
bonjonelson 20.11.12 5:21pm
“David Beckham was cloned in 2003”, says agent...

Over the last ten years David Beckham seemed to be everywhere, and now we know why. The iconic clothes horse and sometimes footballer was cloned almost ten years ago. “There was just too much for...

Tripod 20.11.12 3:00pm
Next year's G8 summit will be held in Nicki Minaj

Prime Minister David Cameron confirms that next year's G8 summit will be held in Nicki Minaj. More soon...

simonjmr 20.11.12 2:56pm
“Apes get mid-life crises too”, says chimpanzee Graham...

“This may be news to you people”, said Graham, as he swung to and fro from a tyre, suspended from the branch of a tree in his bare enclosure, “but not to us. Apes get mid-life crises too,...

Tripod 20.11.12 2:54pm
The Queen to Hire Out Buckingham Palace as London’s Premier Night Spot

The Royal House of Windsor has announced that the Buckingham Palace State Rooms will be opening as a night club every Saturday evening to raise funds for the strapped for cash estate. Complaints...

Harris-Jackson69 20.11.12 2:39pm
Clergy expected to back women, choirboys relieved 0
medici2471 20.11.12 1:57pm
Celebrities held hostage in jungle terror

According to reports from Austrailia a number of TV personalities are being held against their will by a pair of North Eastern rebels. One celebrity, Mr Conley 51, from London told reporters of sick...

Sheepback 20.11.12 1:23pm
Bungle from Rainbow to sue BBC over abuse allegations.

Bungle, star of eighties kids TV show ‘Rainbow’ is to take legal action against the BBC after a Newsnight report led to him being wrongly implicated in child abuse allegations. The bear, who now...

TheNewsWalrus 20.11.12 1:00pm
Phillip Schofield to present Barry Chuckle tribute show 2
charlies_hat 20.11.12 12:57pm
London Kebab Shop Destroyed In Israeli Air Strike On Hummus

There were fresh calls for an immediate ceasefire in the war torn Middle East last night after an Israeli F16 jet fighter targeted and destroyed a kebab shop in Upton Park East London leaving the...

Jonny Shlep 20.11.12 12:50pm
Jonny Shlep
Prison Gangs to start Prisoner Mentoring Service

Apprenticeships to follow...

Mark66 20.11.12 12:48pm
God to consider allowing women into heaven

In a surprise move, God has used his blog to announce that women might be considered admission to heaven. "In the past it's been testicles only up here, but I want an up to date eternity."...

apepper 20.11.12 12:46pm
God saves the Queen

After years of indecision and holy fights with his conscience God has finally decided to save the Queen. In news released today by God’s chief messenger, the Archangel Gabriel it was revealed that...

Dick Everyman 20.11.12 12:45pm
Dick Everyman
Thousands disappointed as Chris Moyles fails to get gagging order 0
medici2471 20.11.12 12:45pm
Bruce Forsyth to star in Lloyd-Webber’s ‘Nosferatu the Musical’

Sir Bruce Forsyth, TV host and entertainer has been chosen by Sir Andrew Lloyd-Webber to star in the title role of his next West End spectacular, Nosferatu the Musical. Sir Bruce, whose official...

Dick Everyman 20.11.12 12:03pm
Dick Everyman
US circuit judge electrocuted 0
Dick Everyman 20.11.12 9:10am
Dick Everyman
Women bishop bashing swings synod vote 0
andhrimnir 20.11.12 9:09am

New Weekly Sports Quiz Much as I enjoyed the programme “They think It's All Over”, it was clear that the format was exhausted by 2006 (or earlier!) and I have a suggestion for a replacement. ...

granger 20.11.12 8:57am
Rootin Tootin
Justice Minister: Prisoners to get a mentor on release "to help them vote Tory" 0
dvo4fun 20.11.12 8:47am
Judicial review targets 'time wasting' PM

More time wasting soon...

Queen of Tarts 19.11.12 11:51pm
Queen of Tarts
Princess Diana's chauffeur to replace Martin Clunes as new face of Churchill 4
custard cream 19.11.12 11:46pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Survey finds astronomy 'over the heads of most people' 6
custard cream 19.11.12 11:45pm
Queen of Tarts
Energy boss admits to making hay while the sun shines

Energy bosses have reacted to criticism from consumer groups today following the news that they have posted record profits despite the underlying cost of fuel reducing over the past 3 months. ...

Sheepback 19.11.12 8:49pm
Mitt Romney is sitting at home going 'Just think, that could've been me'

Former presidential candidate Mitt Romney is reported to spend most of his time sitting at home in a darkened room in front of the television muttering,'Just think, that could have been me out there...

roybland 19.11.12 8:34pm