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Jeremy Forrest expected to add debating to his maths skills

Jeremy Forrest, the teacher who was arrested for the abduction of Megan Stammers, is on his way back to face trial in the UK. When asked about the prospect of prison he said, "Maths, debating is my...

apepper 28.09.12 12:33pm
'FA a shambles' declares man jailed for assault

Joey Barton has today come out and condemned the punishment given to John Terry for racially abusing Anton Ferdinand. ‘I got 6 months for beating up a stranger’ tweeted the ’ Marseilles...

Perks 28.09.12 12:18pm
Sir Paul McCartney pre-booked to sing Hey Jude at Prince Philip’s funeral

The palace were pleased to announce that Sir Paul McCartney has already signed a deal to perform his crowd-pleasing classic ‘Hey Jude’ at the funeral of Prince Philip, despite the fact that...

kimllfixit 28.09.12 12:16pm
FA 'uneasy' about Terry's Chocolate Oranges 0
cinquecento 28.09.12 11:53am
Gay Iranian gives birth to triplets

In a surprise turn of events an Iranian man has reportedly given birth to triplets despite an announcement by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that no one is capable of giving birth through...

Dick Everyman 28.09.12 11:35am
Dick Everyman
Residents pleased with nuclear power plant: “At least it's not a wind farm.”

Nestled deep in the heart of rural Surrey is the picturesque village of Headington. In 2008 the local community campaigned against plans to build a 30 turbine wind farm on the outskirts of the...

Deadcode 28.09.12 11:23am
David Cameron admits lack of knowledge over Magna Carta

Prime Minister, David Cameron, has responded to questions about Magna Carta by saying he'd never met the person. "Is she Boris's daughter?", he enquired. "I thought she was called Mea Culpa."...

apepper 28.09.12 11:07am
Brooks' claim that PM rejected Obama call confirmed by Rebekah's records 1
medici2471 28.09.12 10:22am
Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’

Abductions by ‘Type 1’ aliens or ‘greys’ are becoming increasingly pervy, according to an eye witness. No longer satisfied with the data garnered from a simple anal probe, many are thought to...

28.09.12 9:39am
Curiosity Rover finds Asda Trolley, empty beer cans in river bed.

In startling new proof of the existance of life on Mars, Nasa's Curiosity rover has found evidence of teenage delinquents on the Red Planet., The shopping trolley, thought to have come from the...

moanygit 28.09.12 9:26am
First person jailed for squatting in Indian toilet

toilet humour...

Skoob1999 28.09.12 8:59am
Chief Justice clarification ignites rush to build moats

plus watchtowers, drawbridges etc...

vertical 28.09.12 8:12am
Police statement confirms 'Kelvin McKenzie apology for an editor' 0
charlies_hat 28.09.12 8:05am
Ofsted reports schoolgirls "getting easier". More soon.

Naughty Maz...

Mary Evans 28.09.12 8:03am
Duncan Biscuit
Competition Commission asked to compare the market for car insurance 0
Duncan Biscuit 28.09.12 7:58am
Duncan Biscuit
G4S fiasco continues as it asks armed forces to supply two new directors 0
Duncan Biscuit 28.09.12 7:58am
Duncan Biscuit
McLaren to sign Andre Santos as replacement for Lewis Hamilton 0
Duncan Biscuit 28.09.12 7:57am
Duncan Biscuit
No apology possible for Kelvin MacKenzie 0
Duncan Biscuit 28.09.12 7:56am
Duncan Biscuit
Maths teacher's continental breakfast – a roll with a little honey. More soon.

It all adds up...

NewCriminal 28.09.12 7:42am
Experts stunned as wind farm goes into meltdown, forcing mass evacuation of cows 0
AReader 28.09.12 7:28am
Statue of liberty Found on Mars by Rover

During routine instrument checking, NASA's Curiosity Rover has accidentally uncovered what appears to be the Statue of liberty., The American Icon was found just outside a patch of sedimentary rock...

moanygit 28.09.12 6:42am
Geneticist Finally Nails Down 'Lazy' Gene

A Lithuanian geneticist today released a paper revealing that she believes she may have finally nailed down the so-called 'Lazy Gene,' and that there is a distinct possibility that within a single...

Martin Shuttlecock 28.09.12 6:32am
Israeli kids "really quite scared of New TV Test Card". More soon

SuburbanDad 28.09.12 12:26am
Andrew Mitchell's house burgled, Police promise to respond before end of 2013

Apparently it will take them that long to recruit someone called "Pleb", train him/her up, and then deploy to his local station. Andrew Mitchell was unavailable for comment...

MahoganyGas 27.09.12 11:06pm
Cameron on Letterman - the footage they dared not show

David Cameron had a largely unsuccessful appearance on the David Letterman show while in the US this week. Desparate to outshine old-school rival Boris Johnson, who put in a turn earlier in the...

Miss Hegas 27.09.12 11:04pm
Miss Hegas
NSPCC awarded ‘Charity bin-bag of the year’

The charity collection bag from the NSPCC has beaten strong competition from Help the Aged, the British Heart Foundation and Mencap to be awarded ‘Charity bin-bag of the year’ in the prestigious...

antharrison 27.09.12 10:13pm
Liberal Democrats Never Existed

Ancient writings spoke of a party that would remove tuition fees, end wasteful military spending and demand proportional representation but newly discovered texts suggest that the Liberal Democrat...

Hooch 27.09.12 10:04pm
Terry retires from England duty to spend more time with white people 0
Midnight Dreary 27.09.12 9:52pm
Midnight Dreary
Ryanair Boss Defends Introduction of Coin Operated Oxygen Masks. 2
reforse 27.09.12 9:46pm
Liberal Democrats Oust Clegg In Favour Of Small Dog

In a last ditch post-conference attempt to revive their standing in the opinion polls, the Liberal Democrats today ousted Nick Clegg in favour of a cute looking dog called Trougher. In an interview...

Nonopod 27.09.12 7:33pm