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Transport Secretary Philip Hammond to introduce 'Rail Cycles'

Self-powered vehicles are set to become commonplace on the British Rail network. Hammond describes the new proposals as "exciting" in the Governments latest money saving suggestions for commuters....

Pagantroll 13.09.11 5:14pm
Hacking MPs recall James Murdoch

"He's a bespectacled, 39 year old Smithers lookalike, with the touch of the 1930's German bureaucrat about him" said John Whittingdale chairman of the Commons culture committee. More soon...

simonjmr 13.09.11 5:08pm
New series of Lewis planned, ITV accused of flogging a dead Morse 8
Ian Searle 13.09.11 5:06pm
Gentle breeze brings chaos to huge swathe of southern England.

Remnants of of an occasional blustery spell that wreaked havoc on the Isle of White have begun to affect roads and properties in the home counties. Schools and shops have been advised to close early...

spoole2112 13.09.11 5:05pm
'Whale Meat Again' hits number 1 in Japsnese singles chart 0
martin2381 13.09.11 5:04pm
Osbourne Forewarns Cyclists and Pedestrians of his "100% focus on economy" 2
thisisall1word 13.09.11 4:57pm
NHS bans Chain Mail on safety grounds

Hospital staff in Wales have been told they can no longer wear chain mail while at work due to safety fears., There are concerns the material does not offer sufficient protection against sharp...

Pagantroll 13.09.11 4:16pm
Miliband promises free NHS liposuction for Lumpen Proletariat 0
pinxit 13.09.11 3:49pm
Istanbul voted Top European Destination for Couples.

The revival of the BBC Holiday programme kicks off with a Bedford couple's holiday in Istanbul. "It was the trip of a lifetime" says the wife, "he's been trying to take me up the Bosphorus for years"...

Pagantroll 13.09.11 3:00pm
Govt awareness campaign aimed at parents who 'throw babies out with bath water'

'It used to be common sense,' laments veteran Chessington health worker Sharon Daniels after rescuing another new-born from the mains sewer outside a local family's house, 'but these days parents...

Mr Target 13.09.11 2:37pm
MPs recall Jame Murdoch after faults with model found

MPs have issued a product recall on the previously popular James Murdoch range., Customers have been advised to stop using any James Murdoch product, or other goods and services which may involve...

thisisall1word 13.09.11 2:29pm
UKIP lose Euro places after fielding inelligible players 0
simonjmr 13.09.11 2:25pm
George Osbourne Will Put "110% into Economy" 0
thisisall1word 13.09.11 2:24pm
James Murdoch recalls very little

More later...

spoole2112 13.09.11 2:16pm
Gaddafi reeling after more revelations of his contacts with Blair’s government 0
Duncan Biscuit 13.09.11 2:09pm
Duncan Biscuit
Sophists says inflation has actually increased by only 2.3% 0
Duncan Biscuit 13.09.11 2:08pm
Duncan Biscuit
Man who dumped lizard in supermarket toilet has no recollection of eating it 0
Duncan Biscuit 13.09.11 2:07pm
Duncan Biscuit
Mumsnet calls for Kevlar body armour as cotton wool no longer adequate for child

“For years cotton wool has been the benchmark for guarding kids against all the ills of the world and now, this is no longer adequate”, says Doreen Hambleton. “If its good enough for our lads...

brownpaperreporter 13.09.11 12:46pm
Underclass to be relaunched as 'Morlocks'

Michael Gove has outlined his latest attempt to tackle the so-called 'underclass'. From March, people who claim benefits, own more than two pairs of trainers or have the names of their children...

13.09.11 12:45pm
Depp Prepares for next 'Pirates' Role by Joining Band of Somali Pirates

In an effort to inject greater realism and depth into his role of Jack Sparrow for the next 'Pirates of the Caribbean' film, Johnny Depp has joined a band of Somali pirates hijacking and ransoming...

TokyoTomato 13.09.11 12:37pm
Long-distance swimmer Walliams to try comedy in 2012 "I need a new challenge" 4
dvo4fun 13.09.11 12:28pm
Flash adds to essential home cleaner range with Flash En-Suite & Flash Bannister

Flash, the household cleaning brand, has added to their popular range such as Flash Kitchen and Flash Bathroom with an assortment of products specifically aimed at areas of the home that don’t...

Stan 13.09.11 12:21pm
Glow-in-the-dark kitten 'like a fridge light for wheelie bins' 4
Runestone Cowboy 13.09.11 12:17pm
Trading Standards report calls above-inflation funeral costs 'a bit stiff' 2
pinxit 13.09.11 12:16pm
Drunk Swedish elk releases album after leaving The Priory 3
pinxit 13.09.11 12:15pm
Radio Telescope in US Radio Quiet Zone 'sucking in' Alien Diseases

Thousands of residents of Green Bank, West Virginia are outraged after it is discovered that the world's largest radio telescope, which is located in the town, is attracting huge quantities of...

Pagantroll 13.09.11 11:55am
Applicants for Met Police Chief job detained overnight for further questioning 1
Duncan Biscuit 13.09.11 11:42am
Somali kidnap "Authentic" Thomas Cook excursion

Thomas cook have today defended the authenticity of their new range of back to basics excursions. "People no longer want to visit a tired old relic or swim with a captive dolphin, they want to see...

grottymonty 13.09.11 11:36am
Research says no-one gives a toss where you were on day of global news event

As people across the world prepare to put their personal spin on big global news event, shocking new statistics suggest they may be wasting their time. In 99 per cent of cases, nobody gives a toss...

ronseal 13.09.11 11:32am
City worker asked to donate for David Walliams' charity swim. Commuter says no. 3
wallster 13.09.11 11:30am