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England football team enter into historic coalition with Germany 4
Ludicity 4 years

Prime Minister David Cameron has announced that the defeated England football team are to enter into coalition with Germany. Under the arrangement three England players will now join the German side...

England World Cup song 'Back Home' never more pertinent 0
fun and games 4 years

More in 4 years...

Doctors warn of dangers of aural sex: Hearing AIDS cases on the increase 0
Scroat 4 years
A.B.S.O's to be handed out to anyone still displaying a george cross flag 0
Basil_B 4 years
Christine Bleakley signs record-breaking WAG transfer deal with Germany 1
Ludicity 4 years

Following extensive negotiations, TV presenter Christine Bleakley has dumped England striker Frank Lampard to become the girlfriend of Germany's Thomas Mueller. 'This has been one of the most...

New Syndromes Identified 0
afternoonslow 4 years

BBC MWSA syndrome , Widespread throught Five Live., BBC Sport journalists are prey to infection by the deadly MWSA bacterium which breeds in conditions of Stifling Arrogance and Unfounded...

Michaelangelo sues Newsbiscuit on Sistine Chapel overuse 0
pinxit 4 years

Backing from Berlusconi...

UK Government Ready to Handover Falklands to the Argies 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

The UK government has drawn up plans to handover the Falkland Islands to Argentina, if the Argie football team beats Germany in the next round., Speaking to an unamed minister, our reporter asked if...

Norman Tebbit finally realises dream of opening his own bicycle shop 1
Ludicity 4 years
John Terry admits 'probably a mistake' to sleep with the referee's girlfriend 0
Ludicity 4 years
Fans livid over disallowed goal. 'Clearly we should have lost 4-2 !' 0
MADJEZ 4 years

More soon and for the next 44 years...

England fans break record for onset of impotent fury in Surbiton pub 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

A jingo of red shirted twats broke a record yesterday - for the fastest onset of impotent nationalistic fury. The embarrassing football fans achieved the record by resorting to singing World War Two...

FA to Allow Sequel of Cappello Comedy? 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

Due to popular demand, the FA may give the go ahead for another Cappello football comedy, this time entitled, 'Over My Dead Body', or 'Shakey Ground Zero.'...

If world ends in 2012 brand leaders will be immortal, says marketing death cult 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

The leader of a new marketing death cult, which insists the world will end in 2012, has promised immortality to those brand managers who can achieve market leadership for their brand on the day of...

Cunt of a boss picks cunt of a manager picks cunt of a supe, non-cunts lose hope 0
la maga 4 years
Statistically unlikely break-up of all relationships in UK: grief, STDs shared 0
la maga 4 years
Goal line video referee to be fitted with glasses before 2014 Cup installation 0
Nick McCarr 4 years
Sun Newspaper, Sports Section, Special Bog Roll Offer 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

As a consolation re the poor England result in South Africa, The Sun Newspaper is offering its readers, for one week only, a toilet roll version of its Sports Section., Result crap? Just wipe it...

Man buys self deprecating dog 4
arrghgarry 4 years

so when the time comes it will put itself down ...

Taliban talks in Afghanistan should start soon, says head of army 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

As the 'any options think out the box search' for new England Manager begins...

Football dementia project success as England fans anticipate 2014World Cup glory 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Alan Hansen scathing at Hamilton-Button pairing to cope with pace of Vettel 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Man fulfils ambition to eat world's smallest quiche, later feels empty 3
la maga 4 years
Jobless to be relocated by train with personal belongings ‘to follow later' 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
World Cup Teams Love England 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

'We want them to stay. They make every team who plays against them look like Brazil' said an organiser...

Unemployed Get Loans to Buy Bike 3
Dun Dunkin 4 years

Liverpool unemployed to move to home counties. Every village to have a quota...

England Manager in line for "Golden goodbye!" 0
hero2zero 4 years

More details later...

Midget Muslim Cleric Offended By Being Referred To As Mullah Lite 7
Svendo 4 years
New African League to be filled with English players 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Capello admits selection mistake. 0
Mrblacker 4 years

"I should have picked German players instead of English ones."...