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Eastender to spend quiet Christmas with family

BBC bosses are bracing themselves for a barrage of complaints this festive season, after it was revealed that a character in popular soap Eastenders was to enjoy a quiet Christmas devoid of the...

jp1885 29.12.11 2:38pm
New hope in the battle against bee cocaine.

Top scientists are now close to a breakthrough in their revolutionary study into why something exists that causes people to spend most of Summer sneezing, drinking their own nose-liquid or crying...

29.12.11 1:52pm
Mother of six sues Christmas.

A mother of six caused a stir yesterday by lodging a case at the small claims court to sue Christmas. 'I know my rights' announced 39 year-old Rachael Waters. 'I have six boys to look after by seven...

29.12.11 1:40pm
North Korean Young Pretender begs people to "Stop Your Sobbing" 1
Drylaw 29.12.11 12:19pm
Newspaper could be planning feature on New Year's Resolutions 0
ronseal 29.12.11 11:29am
Only three more sleeps until...

the Insomniac Society's Spring Ball...

riesler 29.12.11 11:28am
Kim Jong-un named as 'supreme little leader'

The tiny but perfectly formed and proportioned Kim Jong-un has been unveiled to the masses. Arriving on the celestial cloud of beautiful perfection the diminutive but smartly dressed leader was...

DiY 29.12.11 11:26am
‘2012 will be more of the same old shit’ predicts Mystic Meg

In a break from tradition, Mystic Meg’s prediction for 2012 was limited to just a few lines. ‘With a cock in Westminster, fat fuckers mooning over North America and no sign of money rising in the...

Immunis 29.12.11 11:17am
East Midland Trains criticised over ‘replacement piggyback from a tramp service’

Commuters on a journey from Glasgow had little praise for East Midlands Trains last night, after arriving in St. Pancras a lot later than scheduled. The passengers had an inkling they were in for a...

29.12.11 10:57am
Government propose One Chav per Family Law

In an attempt to reduce the number of feckless unemployable youths roaming Britain, the coalition government have proposed limiting the number of registered chavs to one per household. The Minister...

Immunis 29.12.11 10:41am
Al OPecia
Alex Salmond denies genetic link with brainless, faceless fish 0
Scroat 29.12.11 8:25am
Male Robin denies being "round", preferring the soubriquet "cock" 1
Iscariot 29.12.11 7:04am
Fashion-conscious men brace themselves for latest retro style 0
DorsetBoy 29.12.11 2:18am
Latest Facebook changes offers yet another way to say nothing 0
Dumbnews 29.12.11 2:04am
Leading German physicist to be prosecuted by the RSPCA

more/no more soon...

bonjonelson 29.12.11 1:03am
Schroedingers cats eyes may be installed on new motorways.

"You may see them or you may not" said an MoT spokesman."There is some uncertainty."...

Iscariot 29.12.11 12:34am
Pop fans 'all a flutter' as 6music plans 'day of C90s'

Music fans are braced for a trip down memory lane on New Years Day, as 6music announced it will exclusively play old C90s for 24 hours. The decision was made after nearly 5 working audio cassettes...

29.12.11 12:22am
"no bombing" rule withdrawn from swimming pools after anti terrorist accusation

Brighton council today announced that it was removing the ' no bombing' rule from all swimming pools with immediate effect, after a complaint from Junior school deputy head Alan fairbourne that it...

Placey1 29.12.11 12:17am
God Particle: Pope to celebrate Mass for Higgs Boson. 2
Iscariot 29.12.11 12:06am
Schrödinger's cat o' nine tails hurts ...and doesn't 0
Smart Alex 28.12.11 9:36pm
Smart Alex
Tragedy strikes filming of North Korean version of 'The Cube'.

Philip Schofield unavailable for comment.

MADJEZ 28.12.11 8:03pm
North Korean Top Gear shows off new range of roof-racks for limos.

MADJEZ 28.12.11 7:59pm
Kim Jong il funeral hot tip for Best Choreography Oscar

More to follow...

apepper 28.12.11 7:05pm
Daily Mail TV critic spontaneously combusts while reviewing Xmas Eastenders plot

The storyline involved an Asian setting fire to a house owned by some black people while gays attended a party on the premises. Luckily the Square’s resident Estate Agent wasn’t at the party and...

Ian Searle 28.12.11 4:13pm
Ian Searle
Head of Arab League observers in Syria report Assad's new clothes 'wonderful' 4
writinginbsl 28.12.11 3:54pm
Brian Cox's head officially designated a planet

The head of celebrity physicists Brian Cox has been officially designated as a new planet. The announcement was made after a meeting of the International Federation of Space Scientists in Geneva....

dogwheels 28.12.11 3:40pm
Rap community mourns as North Korea holds funeral for Lil' Kim 0
irregular apple 28.12.11 2:50pm
irregular apple
90 year old man leaves NHS hospital alive after 4 day stay. 4
MT Bucket 28.12.11 1:41pm
Amazon announces new Kindle 3D

Amazon has announced the latest in its popular range of Kindle e-book readers, and the first e-book reader to offer not just a colour e-ink screen, but a three dimensional display. By viewing the...

bonjonelson 28.12.11 1:34pm
Putin exonerated of rigging after providing Election Review with their findings. 1
MT Bucket 28.12.11 1:14pm