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New research links diabetes surge to greetings card industry merchandise

A study by the Medical Research Council has established a direct link between saccharine merchandise produced by the greetings card industry and the diabetes epidemic sweeping the developed world....

Qoxiivi 13.02.12 7:43pm
Bank of England hires King Midas to help with quantative easing policy 0
Immunis 13.02.12 6:13pm
HSE ban high heels at drag racing event, mini skirts are still allowed

Immunis 13.02.12 6:12pm
Hydrogen based green energy is inflationary claim critics 0
Immunis 13.02.12 6:12pm
Suarez refuses to shake hands with Abu Hamza

More to follow...

apepper 13.02.12 5:40pm
Hunt for doctor to pin blame on whitney death

"there must be one somewhere, we'll find him", says a close relative, holding back tears...

Makkers1 13.02.12 5:11pm
Welsh government targets farting in cars

A campaign to stop people farting in cars when carrying children is being launched today. Wales’ chief medical officer explained that breathing in farts in enclosed spaces was particularly harmful...

Major Clanger 13.02.12 5:11pm
FA to scrap handshakes in favour of face-slapping and arse-kicking 0
Drylaw 13.02.12 4:27pm
Whitney death : Pyongyang grinds to halt once again 0
Drylaw 13.02.12 4:23pm
Abu Qatada to be banned from Mecca Bingo halls

Soon-to-be-free fiery hate preacher Abu Qatada is to be prevented from attending any of the UK’s sixty-seven - made in heaven - Mecca Bingo halls under the terms of his release, according to...

Gary Stanton 13.02.12 4:14pm
Gary Stanton
Clintons Cards accused of sending out "mixed messages".

Bereavement. Secret sexual attraction. Holy Communnion thoughts. Incontinence. Childbirth. Flirtation. Anticipation of nerve-wracking events. Alcohol abuse. Gay Barmitzvah feelings. Wedding...

nickb 13.02.12 4:13pm
Donner Card - Help Someone to Eat After You're Wrecked

A drive to increase the number of donner card holders starts this week sponsored by the Association of Kebab Shop Owners. Drunken revellers are being encouraged to sign up for the donner cards at...

LizzyG 13.02.12 3:58pm
'Homeopathic royals cannot become King' shock

Royals who embrace homeopathy cannot become King constitutional lawyers have discovered in a shock finding. 'It has long been believed that only Catholics couldn't become King,' royal historian...

roybland 13.02.12 3:42pm
Financial news - Shares in jelly manufacturer wobble as profits warning issued.

.more soon...

DiY 13.02.12 3:16pm
Abu Hamza wins Contact Lens Wearer Of The Year award 0
cinquecento 13.02.12 2:58pm
Retired prozzie turned milk distributor tells all in Secret Dairy of a Call Girl

A prostitute who was struggling to make ends meet takes a part time job distributing milk. At first, she tells herself it's for one round only, but soon she's addicted to the lifestyle. The early...

ronseal 13.02.12 2:46pm
John Terry : "Suarez has brought racism, non-handshakes into disrepute"

On-again, off-again England football captain, John Terry slammed Luis Suarez for bringing shame on both racism and non-handshakes with his eloquently worded apology released yesterday. "Nice syntax...

Mr Target 13.02.12 2:44pm
All eyes on Hutus and Tutsi handshake before next outbreak of war 0
ronseal 13.02.12 2:05pm
Blatter admits handshaking might not be the best way to resolve racial tensions 0
ianslat 13.02.12 1:59pm
BAFTAs; The Artist wins Best Foreign Language Film 1
beau-jolly 13.02.12 1:46pm
Hungry Christians welcome the Little Mac “Communionburger™”

Churchgoers suffering from prematurely rumbling Sunday tum have a treat in store. It’s circular and a little over an inch and a quarter in diameter. Other than that, it’s got exactly the same...

nickb 13.02.12 1:45pm
Archaeologists uncover 'ancient white dog poo'

Archaeologists digging at a site near Lincoln, have unearthed a relic not seen by anyone under the age of 25. The mysterious 'white crumbly artifact' is believed to date back to Thatcherian times and...

Perks 13.02.12 1:27pm
Surge in Underwear Sales on EBay

Popular unwanted tat auction site EBay today reported an unprecedented surge in items of ladies lingerie for sale this week. Thousands of unwanted basques, teddies and exotic corsetry are going...

LizzyG 13.02.12 1:25pm
Major Clanger
Supreme Court rules 'no more prayers in church'

The supreme court has today announced that praying in churches should be banned as it 'infringes the human rights' of those visiting the establishments, but have no religious beliefs. The ruling...

Perks 13.02.12 1:24pm
Singer misses Grammys after one too many grammies 0
dvo4fun 13.02.12 1:18pm
Wheelchair menace threatens Midlands city

The Chief Constable of Nottingham today appealed to the Government for additional funding to tackle the growing threat of motorised wheelchair and disabled scooter gangs. “The city centre is...

Major Clanger 13.02.12 1:04pm
Major Clanger
Ice-fall woman, 90, accused of ‘diving’ by off-duty football ref.

The Football Association has granted pensioner Edith Perkins the right of appeal against a straight red card shown her by off-duty football referee Ron Withenshaw. The incident occurred during a...

malgor 13.02.12 1:01pm
Major Clanger
Abu Qatada tipped as next England manager

Commentators have predicted that extremist preacher Abu Qatada will soon be appointed England football manager on the grounds that he will be paid less than if he claimed welfare benefits. The...

roybland 13.02.12 12:57pm
BBC annouce new post watershed entertainment show "Gloryhole in the wall" 2
button 13.02.12 12:55pm
British Museum offer bailiff services in case of Greek default

The British Museum Plc, the world reknowned debt collection agency, has entered into the first round of tendering for the prized contract of repossessing Greece's assets if they fall behind in their...

quango 13.02.12 12:51pm
Major Clanger