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Sophists says inflation has actually increased by only 2.3% 0
Duncan Biscuit 13.09.11 2:08pm
Duncan Biscuit
Man who dumped lizard in supermarket toilet has no recollection of eating it 0
Duncan Biscuit 13.09.11 2:07pm
Duncan Biscuit
Mumsnet calls for Kevlar body armour as cotton wool no longer adequate for child

“For years cotton wool has been the benchmark for guarding kids against all the ills of the world and now, this is no longer adequate”, says Doreen Hambleton. “If its good enough for our lads...

brownpaperreporter 13.09.11 12:46pm
Underclass to be relaunched as 'Morlocks'

Michael Gove has outlined his latest attempt to tackle the so-called 'underclass'. From March, people who claim benefits, own more than two pairs of trainers or have the names of their children...

13.09.11 12:45pm
Depp Prepares for next 'Pirates' Role by Joining Band of Somali Pirates

In an effort to inject greater realism and depth into his role of Jack Sparrow for the next 'Pirates of the Caribbean' film, Johnny Depp has joined a band of Somali pirates hijacking and ransoming...

TokyoTomato 13.09.11 12:37pm
Long-distance swimmer Walliams to try comedy in 2012 "I need a new challenge" 4
dvo4fun 13.09.11 12:28pm
Flash adds to essential home cleaner range with Flash En-Suite & Flash Bannister

Flash, the household cleaning brand, has added to their popular range such as Flash Kitchen and Flash Bathroom with an assortment of products specifically aimed at areas of the home that don’t...

Stan 13.09.11 12:21pm
Glow-in-the-dark kitten 'like a fridge light for wheelie bins' 4
Runestone Cowboy 13.09.11 12:17pm
Trading Standards report calls above-inflation funeral costs 'a bit stiff' 2
pinxit 13.09.11 12:16pm
Drunk Swedish elk releases album after leaving The Priory 3
pinxit 13.09.11 12:15pm
Radio Telescope in US Radio Quiet Zone 'sucking in' Alien Diseases

Thousands of residents of Green Bank, West Virginia are outraged after it is discovered that the world's largest radio telescope, which is located in the town, is attracting huge quantities of...

Pagantroll 13.09.11 11:55am
Applicants for Met Police Chief job detained overnight for further questioning 1
Duncan Biscuit 13.09.11 11:42am
Somali kidnap "Authentic" Thomas Cook excursion

Thomas cook have today defended the authenticity of their new range of back to basics excursions. "People no longer want to visit a tired old relic or swim with a captive dolphin, they want to see...

grottymonty 13.09.11 11:36am
Research says no-one gives a toss where you were on day of global news event

As people across the world prepare to put their personal spin on big global news event, shocking new statistics suggest they may be wasting their time. In 99 per cent of cases, nobody gives a toss...

ronseal 13.09.11 11:32am
City worker asked to donate for David Walliams' charity swim. Commuter says no. 3
wallster 13.09.11 11:30am
Copyright victory means Cliff needn't crumble.

EU Council officials' decision to extend copyright on sound recordings by a further 20 years was strongly influenced by Sir Cliff Richard's solemn promise to "never go near another recording studio,...

Boutros 13.09.11 11:27am
Lowest ever salt content Salt & Vinegar crisps rebranded as Vinegar Crisps 0
brownpaperreporter 13.09.11 11:26am
Scottish nation licks lips as Hurricane Katia batters coastline 9
Screenie 13.09.11 11:26am
Boundary Commission redraws constituencies map as cubist self portrait 0
simonjmr 13.09.11 11:21am
Men charged in court after forcing people to live in Leighton Buzzard 1
Mr_Johno 13.09.11 11:20am
Police confirm goldfish found dead on floor beneath bowl ‘left a note’

A massive police operation over the suspected murder of Billy the goldfish has been called off after detectives found a suicide note. Billy’s owner, Owen Powell, had discovered the body of the...

Vertically Challenged Giant 13.09.11 11:19am
Britain in shock as DFS sale ends 20
Vertically Challenged Giant 13.09.11 11:15am
Chef Still Haunted By Loss Of Souflees

On the morning of September 11, 2001, top New York chef Wylie Dufresne was just putting the finishing touches to a fresh batch of souffles. "I was mixing up a bold chocolate and lime ganache while...

Textbook 13.09.11 11:15am
Slow Helpdisk Reponse Leads To Mass Deaths In Firey Inferno

In the offices of Pilkington Paper Pushers on Tuesday, workers were characteristically calm and cool-headed when one of their collegue's PCs suddenly erupted in flames. Rather than fleeing madly from...

Textbook 13.09.11 11:15am
17 lost Liberal MPs triumpantly return from Brigadoon 0
simonjmr 13.09.11 10:41am
Redundant council diversity officer struggling to find job in private sector

Derek Strachan, a man with 5 years experience as a community diversity officer, is struggling to apply his finely-honed skills in the private sector. 'I thought the private sector was going to take...

Runestone Cowboy 13.09.11 9:36am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Guzzle Puzzle ad withdrawn over accusations of promoting rape

Cadbury have withdrawn the advert for the latest addition to their new The Natural Confectionery Company range, Guzzle Puzzle, after receiving hundreds of complaints that it ‘glorified rape...

Vertically Challenged Giant 13.09.11 9:29am
Subo sues Bebo over lowbrow promo photo Susan Boyle has threatened further legal action against Bebo for ignoring a court order, requiring removal of an unflattering childhood photo which was digitally inserted...

vertical 13.09.11 9:02am
Tinker, Tailor, Shepherd's Pie: Secret M15 recipes published 0
nickb 13.09.11 8:31am
Confusion at Andy Whitfield's funeral after mourners all claim to be Sparticus 0
exigo 13.09.11 8:18am