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Any patient in a satisfactory condition to be labelled ‘requires improvement' 0
Duncan Biscuit 17.01.12 9:10am
Duncan Biscuit
Inquiry as MoD’s axe procurement programme goes millions over-budget 0
Duncan Biscuit 17.01.12 9:07am
Duncan Biscuit
Rolling Stones release 'I can't get no Required Improvement' 0
charlies_hat 17.01.12 8:18am
'I am black' says Nick Griffin

British National Party leader Nick Griffin claimed yesterday that his party should not be called racist as he himself is black. 'I can confirm that I am in fact a black man. How anyone can therefore...

Samasaea 17.01.12 7:33am
Daily Mail Accuses Workshy Bakers of Loafing. 0
sredni vashta 17.01.12 1:52am
sredni vashta
Internet to become literate by 2013.

As Waterstones prepares to eliminate punctuation from its brand, citing a need for "a more versatile and practical spelling in the digital world of URLs and email addresses", Internet boffins has...

Boutros 17.01.12 1:24am
Lost dissertation on 'mum and dad' (a case of missing parenthesis 1
kga6 16.01.12 11:52pm
They Get Younger Every Year

Courtney Stodden, teen bride and certified attention whore went running today with her new security staff, and pointless pink dog. Captured on camera, the newest member of her staff looks like a 15...

The Acacia Strain 16.01.12 10:27pm
The Acacia Strain
Outrage as large dyke to be placed on Isle Of Lesbos 0
The Acacia Strain 16.01.12 10:05pm
The Acacia Strain
Tourist who got food poisoning whilst in Hawaii, spending their days Honolulu 3
Iamthestig 16.01.12 9:45pm
Costa Cruises announce Birmingham-Zurich cruise route

More to follow...

apepper 16.01.12 9:37pm
Falklands veteran reunited with downed pilot 'failed to kill him a second time'

A veteran soldier has offered a heart-felt apology, after being reunited with an Argentinian pilot he shot down during the Falklands conflict. Despite being given the chance to put thirty years of...

16.01.12 9:25pm
Good news for republicans as Costa Cruises win contract for new Royal Yatch. 0
Ian Searle 16.01.12 9:00pm
Ian Searle
Britain's greatest living artist to be preserved in formaldehyde

The man recently named as Britain's greatest living artist may be preserved in formaldehyde if the man regarded as Britain's greatest living conceptual artist gets his way. David Hockney (74), who...

roybland 16.01.12 7:51pm
Government puzzles how world's richest woman could obtain yacht

Government ministers are working around the clock to try and discover a way for the Queen to obtain a yacht. "It's a real dilemma.", said a spokesman. "Yachts are really expensive and only really...

apepper 16.01.12 7:42pm
BBC admits "the signs were there" over Worrall-Thompson

BBC Executives have admitted to “failing to see the signs” after archive footage of disgraced chef Antony Worrall-Thompson was released, showing his appearances on Ready Steady Cook. Director...

fun and games 16.01.12 7:37pm
fun and games
Queen offered cheap new royal yacht by Italian cruise company 0
Smart Alex 16.01.12 7:01pm
Smart Alex
Millionth Visitor to Newsbiscuit website wins a year's supply of Trojan Viruses 0
Mathna 16.01.12 5:55pm
Gove "I only said we should give the Queen a Jubbly this summer" 1
simonjmr 16.01.12 5:18pm
Soap industry collapses in a thickening sud. 3
Iscariot 16.01.12 4:57pm
Tragedy on Anne Boleyn film set as director shouts, "Cut!" 0
Smart Alex 16.01.12 4:09pm
Smart Alex
Teenage boy disappointed to discover "Blue Monday" nothing to do with porn 0
simonjmr 16.01.12 4:04pm
Motorists Unimpressed by Spontaneous Combustion Engine. 0
sredni vashta 16.01.12 3:44pm
sredni vashta
"I'd prefer cash or vouchers", Queen tells Gove 2
JD 16.01.12 3:01pm
Runestone Cowboy
Costa Cruises CEO says £62m loss of Concordia a "mere drop in the ocean" 0
kimllfixit 16.01.12 2:46pm
Shoddy fancy dress retailer just a mickey mouse outfit 3
Psycadelic Squirrel 16.01.12 1:56pm
Cruise company shares soar after massive increase in turnover. 3
JETFAB 16.01.12 1:49pm
Fears for the moon as astronomers discover gigantic jar of chutney 1
jp1885 16.01.12 1:39pm
Clearsil in spot-fixing allegations 0
Skylarking 16.01.12 1:33pm
New yacht for Queen rejected; Charles proposes Italian cruise as consolation 1
cinquecento 16.01.12 1:17pm