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Ashley Cole latest: claims Gordon Brown 'Quite approachable and easy going' 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
Ashley Cole latest: now he claims MPs' expenses justified 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
Prince Charles says: 'I'm just like you - the ordinary people' 3
PluckyMunky 4 years
CRB to investigate as Lord Mayor's trousers fall down at chidren's event. 0
pinxit 4 years

'It wouldn't stand up in court'...

Govt. endorses 'Oliver approach' on kids' meals. 9000 Beadles to be appointed. 0
pinxit 4 years

"More?!" anon...

Clarke unveils Travelodge as 'radical prison alternative'. 0
pinxit 4 years

Recidivism to be 'cut at a stroke'...

ITV HD Viewers bemused 0
Zen 4 years

Why aren't England in the World cup quarter finals ? We watched then beat Germany 1-0 on ITV HD,,,,,...

God does watch you wanking, quite likes it when you do that thing 0
la maga 4 years

Right, I need to get off this site and go and do some work...

Budget thoroughly analysed, summarised for the busy worker: Fuck you all 0
la maga 4 years
Terrorists meeting secretly in Art Gallery "fidgety" about eyes following them 0
thackaray 4 years
New imaging techniques allow old photos of Elephant Man to become 2D 0
thackaray 4 years
"Fairy tale" castle visitors entertained by footage of Rooneys' winning goal 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Fire brigade send in long haired lady to rescue "Fairytale Castle" visitors... 0
virtuallywill 4 years

more later...

Disaster as England team's plane lands safely 2
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

The England team that crashed out of the world cup has failed to repeat the process at Heathrow Airport, touching down uneventfully at Terminal Five. 'Where's Al Qaeda when you need them?' said one...

Wimbledon 1
AlexR 4 years

Pavlos Joseph spotted heading towards Serena Williams’ dressing room. More soon...

Nick Clegg can wear Spain kit in comfort now 1
simonjmr 4 years
Paint Manufacturers admit, “There are only seven colours”. 9
Ian Searle 4 years

An industry spokesman confessed, “All the others are just made up to sell paint.” They added, “What are Raspberry Bellini, Teal Tension and Pale Citrus anyway, they mean nothing. It’s just...

Man in a quandry falls between two stools and curses thoughtless dog owners 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
RMT strikes in disarray as England crash out of World Cup 0
AndyP 4 years

The RMT were holding emergency talks today as a number of planned strikes dates no longer aligned with the remaining England Games. A tearful Bob Crow made statement earlier “After weeks of...

England squad wins Daddies Sauce Team of the Year award 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
Tony Hayward PR contract with Ashley Cole 0
AlexR 4 years

End is nigh for Tony Hayward's PR contract with Ashley Cole. More soon...

"Mullah's wives" top selling magazine in Iran 1
simonjmr 4 years

It's all in the eyes. More soon...

Government plan to deter cash-hoarders on track 0
hero2zero 4 years

The current Treasury plan to force those that hoard cash to bank it by voiding twenty-pound notes, overnight is running to plan. The notes, displaying a picture of Elgar will become illegal tender...

Cameron calls for calm as public demands "Fabio's Law". 2
dominic_mcg 4 years

A test run of Fabio's Law – the controversial scheme which allows the public to check whether their neighbours are England footballers – has shown that one in 15 people enquired about are premier...

Russia 'winning the race in attractive spies' admits intelligence chiefs 1
jp1885 4 years

Following the publication of Russian spy Anna Chapman's social networking photos, British and American intelligence agencies have been forced to admit that the Russian Foreign Intelligence Service...

Tickets for England 'Welcome Home' party to be allocated by ballot. 2
Griffin 4 years

Volunteers are sought to apply for the ten tickets to the 'Welcome Home' party of our glorious football team. The lucky winners will be chosen by a ballot. A specially chartered Ryanair flight will...

Pretty criminals to get early release 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Mail reader still puzzled by number of asylums seekers from Iraq and Afghanistan 0
la maga 4 years
Pukka pies: Hold your nose and close your eyes! 1
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

As the scales fall from every football fan's eyes, and they finally see the world in all its high definition ugliness, products that traded on their football association are beginning to plummet....

Foreign Office claims Pope condom memo was just 'gentle ribbing' 6
rickwestwell 4 years

The Catholic Church - ribbed for your pleasure...