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This man took a picture of himself every day. What a weirdo! 0
Dumbnews 18 hours
Amazing Headline Shock! No Conservative MP Defected To UKIP Today! 0
Titus 19 hours
Nick Clegg prepares conference speech "to rouse the Nation from it's slumber" 1
vulture1 19 hours

Party activists are counting the days before they can leap to their feet and cheer their leader. Auditions for 'media friendly" audience faces to show on TV are being held. Both voters who plan to...

ISIS writes messages in sand to taunt US bombers over Ryder Cup defeat 5
harrypalmer 19 hours

It has emerged that Islamic State fighters have resorted to making disparaging comments about the United States heavy Ryder Cup defeat this weekend. The messages written in the sand are said to be...

George Osborne to encourage dying early 5
apepper 19 hours

George Osborne is to announce a range of tax incentives for people who die under the age of 75. "This is a sensible plan.", said the chancellor, "People stop are less likely to pay tax when they get...

Racist clown defects to rival circus 4
Gary Stanton 19 hours

The defection of one of his clowns to a rival circus has left Big Top owner Davey Cameroni with a big sad face this morning. Cameroni has slammed the defection of lead clown Giuseppe Grimaldi to...

Royal College of Midwives calls for strikes in nine months time 0
custard cream 20 hours
Cameron threatens to put Miliband in charge if they lose the election 0
tomholder 21 hours
MP joins UKIP after Mirror journalist asks him to 'show me your nuts' by text 3
Skylarking 22 hours
New self-help book teaches you to rid yourself of self-help books 0
Dumbnews 22 hours
Boris Johnson 'not actually a cartoon character' latest medical tests show 1
Iroquois Pliskin 22 hours

“I’m as surprised as the next man!” chortled the London mayor, brandishing his newly issued National Insurance number to journalists. “I’d long suspected that I was a villain from Danger...

Flea infestation ‘not solved’ by blowing up house 2
deceangli 23 hours

Residents at a street in Birmingham were ‘slightly surprised’ to find that the Council had ordered an RAF airstrike to deal with a ‘modest’ pest problem. “We thought they’d send a man...

Biggles solves middle east crisis with well placed uppercut to arabs Jaw 2
Bigglesworth 23 hours
Fatberg removed from London sewer as Eric Pickles defects to UKIP 3
Gary Baldy 23 hours

Just found the fatberg story was from August 2013. Damn it BBC News. I will one star fairy myself *zap*...

Fatberg removed from London sewer as Eric Pickles defects to UKIP 0
Gary Baldy 23 hours

A "bus-sized" lump of fat, named as Eric Pickles, was removed from the sewer in Westminster after convincing it to join UKIP. After four days of trying, Pickles was coaxed from the sewage system...

Muted Celebrations As Chancellor Announces Tax Cut When You're Dead 0
maxey 1 day
Churchill Cleopatra and Ghandi first to use Block mode of digital seance system 0
ronseal 1 day
Country stops pretending to give a shit about golf for two years 0
johnnydobbo 1 day
850,000 Protesters In Hong Kong Demand Right to Defect to UKIP 1
Titus 1 day

[Note: In the interests of authenticity - has anyone heard an estimate of the actual number of protesters in Hong Kong? I would hate to post anything here which was incaccurate / untue.]...

Radiohead announce surprise release of new album ‘three weeks ago’ 2
Skylarking 1 day

Hot on the heels of surprise new albums from U2 and Beyonce, the music world has again been rocked by news that Radiohead had released their tenth album online three weeks ago. Postmortemism came out...

Wind farm wind down a wind up, says windbag ministers 1
throngsman 1 day
Procol Harum cancel Nigerian tour dates 0
Lang 1 day

Band members said to have turned "a whiter shade of pale" at the prospect...

Jim Tavare to release cover version of "All About the Bass" 0
Ian Searle 1 day
China welcomes Hong Kong protest as 'tank drivers getting rusty' 0
MADJEZ 1 day
Govt To Cut Down Railings For War Effort To Convince Public Threat is Serious. 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day
Middle East Peace Envoy to Get His Own Tornado Bomber 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day

Limos are so 20th century...

Cameron Begs Brooks 'Nude Selfie' Newmark To Go And Join UKIP 1
Titus 1 day
Art of stamp collecting to the Riverdance music perfected by Michael Philately 2
Gary Baldy 1 day
Cameron To Bomb Ali Baba and The Forty Jihadists 1
Dun Dunkin 1 day
Press apologise over George Clooney 'Night of anal' claim. 7
MADJEZ 1 day

TV and newspapers (including Newsbiscuit) have issued an unreserved apology after headlines that the newly wed Mr & Mrs Clooney enjoyed a passionate night of anal. This was a typo and should have...