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Undercover Cop Betrayed By Unwillingness To Have Sex With Randy Activists 0
Titus 11 hours
Electorate demands unicorns, Miliband glues traffic cones to horses. 5
Andy Gilder 11 hours
Undecover Cop Penetrated Animal Rights Activists Ring 2
Titus 11 hours

More apostrophes later ...

UKIP Outraged as Parliament dog show won by German Shepherd 0
Thundi 11 hours
Undecover Cop Praised For Dedication: "Wouldn't Have ... Bargepole ..." Etc. 0
Titus 11 hours
Ebola to take on Britain's MRSA in World title showdown at the NHS Arena 6
ronseal 12 hours

It's the fight everyone's been waiting for: Ebola - the kidney musher - versus Britain's own deadly virus MRSA - the meticillin resister. The two contenders are to meet in 16 days time at an NHS...

28-Year-Old Man 'Delighted' To Learn That His Father Was A Policeman 0
Titus 12 hours

"I never knew who my father really was" said the man "I always assumesd he was some dimwitted animal-rights nutter like my mum. The shame and embarrassment of this was difficult to live with. The...

Leon Brittan rates Westminster child abuse 'very good' but not 'historic'. 0
Crayon 17 hours
House of Commons 'babbling black eyed ghoul' turns out to be Ed Miliband 5
pinxit 20 hours

MP Alan Johnson revealed today that the spectral black eyed 'lost soul' seen haunting Palace of Westminster corridors over the last few months is in fact Labour Party leader Ed Miliband....

TESCO profits adjusted to include change found at back of settee 0
throngsman 22 hours

"We've been through our corporate statements with a fine tooth comb, £1.20 in the dental grooming aisle, by the way" stated the lead accountant for the beleaguered retailer. "It's fair to say that...

Boko Haram breaks speed dating protocols‏ 0
Wrenfoe 22 hours

Nigeria's infamous militant chaperon service has caused an international outcry by ignoring all matchmaking etiquette. Those notorious singletons, Boko Haram, have been attacking villages, abducting...

Fred Goodwin Brought Out Of Retirement To Head TESCO 2
Titus 1 day
Cameron proposes ‘Benny Hill style’ chases to exercise overweight NHS staff 1
nickb 1 day

Matrons, staff sisters and ward orderlies who are overweight will be chased round hospital premises by chubby Liberal Democrat peers with glasses in an attempt to head off an obesity crisis within...

Tyrannical ballet teacher was 'lax toes intolerant' 4
cinquecento 1 day
Tamagotchi emerges from back of toy cupboard convinced it's still 1996 0
nickb 1 day
Ex R1 DJ plans relaunch of Black and White MInstrels 6
nickb 1 day

Mike Smythe, former Radio 1 disc jockey, now ‘helping’ at Queen Mary Hospital Radio, Sidcup says he has created a new version of The Black and White Minstrel Show, which, he says, will tour the...

Elgin marbles to be swapped for Yorkshire conkers 0
sydalg 1 day
Dyslexic porn fan buys up collection of Lana Turner movies 0
sydalg 1 day
Dyslexic racist wankers panic ahead of having to turn their 'cocks black'. 0
Crayon 1 day

(hat tip maxey)...

Simon Bates and Bruno Brookes to host Colin Taylor’s ‘Facebook Gold’ feed 0
Skylarking 1 day

Former Radio One DJs Simon Bates and Bruno Brookes are the latest addition to the growing roster of Colin Taylor’s ‘Facebook Gold’ feed. They join Tony Blackburn and ‘Diddy’ David Hamilton...

UKIP claim " another small victory" as clocks go back 9
maxey 1 day
Sidney Poitier apologizes for not using ebonics in 'To Sir With Love' 0
beckfordburger 1 day

I would like the movie to be withdrawn. On reflection, it was insensitive reverse stereotyping...

NHS demands extra £8bn in plan to save services 0
gillie 1 day

Chanel 4 was forced to distance itself from a recent row over NHS Funding. It confirmed that the recent call for an extra £8bn had nothing whatsoever do to with their Channel’s popular afternoon...

Godfrey Bloom claims marbles in Commons were the ones he lost years ago 0
cinnahmon 1 day

(Hat tip to I. Pliskin)...

1970s Glam Rocker dies; Nation hopes for the best 0
Adrian Bamforth 1 day
Man ejected for throwing marbles at House of Commons lost game to Clegg 0
Iroquois Pliskin 1 day

A man from South London who hurled marbles in the House of Commons’ public gallery had just lost three Galaxies, a Cat’s-eye and a red Frosted Moon to Deputy PM, Nick Clegg, it has emerged....

Alvin goes from star to dust. 0
Crayon 1 day
Homophobic pet shop owner questioned for selling 'buggeryguards'. 0
Crayon 1 day
My Coo Ca Choo choo'd its last coo 0
beckfordburger 1 day
Russian needle still missing in Swedish haystack 1
tomholder 1 day