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'Breakthrough on Alzheimer's' was Daily Mail headline yesterday. 3
Gerontius 23.03.17 12:19pm
London saved by water cannons

A terrorist attack on Westminster was foiled yesterday by the swift deployment of Boris Johnson's three water cannons. Sitting astride the gun turret, Mr. Johnson hosed down bystanders and removed...

Wrenfoe 23.03.17 11:50am
Dick Everyman
Anthropologists on verge of discovering Scarlett Moffatt's true purpose

Excited anthropologists from the University of Durham have revealed that they are very close to discovering the true purpose of Geordie Z-Lister, Scarlett Moffatt. The bog-eyed celebrity has...

Dick Everyman 23.03.17 9:42am
Sidcup man uses Facebook to mark himself safe

Sidcup web developer Andrew Butler, 28, took to social media yesterday to confirm to friends and family that he had survived the London terrorist incident and was out of danger. He was watching a...

Bravenewmalden 23.03.17 9:40am
I am fucking terrified really admits London commuter

Last night's show of Twitter defiance was sadly absent this morning in regular London commuter Paul Jenkins who told his wife to ring his boss and tell him he was unable to come to work today because...

blacklesbianandproudofit 23.03.17 8:59am
Weight Loss Herbs - 5 Herbs Helpful in Lose Weight

The key to losing weight starts with the [url=]Fat Extinguisher[/url] right weight loss nutrition plan that is effective in...

adam2525 23.03.17 8:53am
Vera Lynn Fans Say 'We TOLD You Nasty Noisy Rock Music Wouldn't Last Like Hers!' 0
Titus 23.03.17 8:18am
Drag race ends in an orderly fashion, no one out of control, everyone calm. 0
Maverick 23.03.17 8:13am
Thames Water covered up sewage spill in fear of "Media Shitstorm" 1
Gary Baldy 23.03.17 7:45am
Midfield Diamond
Parts of Britain covered by 4 inches of global warming. 2
Maverick 23.03.17 7:37am
'Breakthrough on Alzheimer's' was Daily Mail headline yesterday. 1
Gerontius 22.03.17 11:08pm
Commissioner confirms man shot in Parliament Square was Brazilian tourist. 5
Ref Minor 22.03.17 11:03pm
Smart Alex
Lame, stupid attack. Terrorists not as bad as they used to be, says Daily Mail. 0
deskpilot3 22.03.17 10:37pm
The Nightlymare Show. 1
ron cawleyoni 22.03.17 10:33pm
High fives all round in Swindon as town named 'Pervert capital of the UK'

.. fame at last [url=][/url]...

blacklesbianandproudofit 22.03.17 9:42pm
New SI Unit Announced

Jacques Bouillon, president of the General Conference on Weights and Measures, today announced the introduction of a new SI unit describing the degree of loathsomeness displayed by an individual or...

Mike Turbine-Hamilton 22.03.17 1:58pm
Guido Drapatolli
SAS offers 21-gun salute at McGuinness funeral 0
Sinnick 22.03.17 11:08am
Nationwide 'PANIC' in job centres as...Osbourne cycles past. 0
ron cawleyoni 22.03.17 9:56am
ron cawleyoni
Airline apologises for error after lap-dancer is forced to sit in aircraft hold

British Airways has apologised unreservedly, after a Ukranian lap-dancer was forced to sit in the aircraft hold for the duration of a flight to Sofia, following a mis-understanding involving a...

Underconstruction 22.03.17 9:44am
CIA in secret Egyptian laptop deal for use on Air Force One 0
Dick Everyman 22.03.17 9:28am
Dick Everyman
UK Police Forces rebrand as 'TEAM COPZ', Stella designs 'Copztumes'

Building on the sporting and fashion triumphs of TEAM GB at the Rio Olympics, the Home Office has amalgamated the nation's Police Forces and low-loaded fashion juggernaut Stella McCartney in to turn...

DavidH 22.03.17 9:24am
Lou Bega Finally Announces Long-Awaited Mambo No. 6

I know it won't be as good as No. 5 but let's hope it beats Mambo's 1 through 4...

SimpleSamples 22.03.17 9:20am
iPad radicalised by Nokia 5110

Peter Jones initially thought he'd suffered yet another bug-ridden IOS upgrade. His trusty iPad would no longer show his family photos. On further investigation of the Photos app, he was puzzled...

cinquecento 22.03.17 9:16am
Lap dancing banned on flights 0
Iroquois Pliskin 22.03.17 9:09am
Iroquois Pliskin
Sentient Turnip speaks out in favour of genetically modified Royal Family

Putting it at odds with other root vegetables...

Ian Searle 22.03.17 9:05am
Ian Searle
Horoscopes 'n' shit

Aries, On Friday you wear your wife’s underwear and dress to the office for Comic Relief. Your colleagues think it’s hilarious and you’ve never been so popular. When you do it again on Monday...

harrypalmer 22.03.17 8:52am
430M-Yr-Old Fossil In Herefordshire Doesn't Realise It Is Supposed To Be Extinct 0
Titus 22.03.17 8:25am
Genetically modified Royals would offer huge benefits to society say scientists

Genetically modified Royals could help produce a more productive and intelligent monarchy says a group of research scientists from Cambridge University., Scientists say the current Royal gene pool...

Gerontius 22.03.17 8:16am
McGuinness's Secret Role As Founder Of Blind Kitten Orphanage Revealed At Last 1
Titus 22.03.17 8:03am
Walter Eagle
McGuinness autopsy reveals cause of death......'deep Sinn Fein thrombosis' 1
ron cawleyoni 22.03.17 7:44am
Walter Eagle