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Frasier Cranes brother, Massive, collapses in new york. More to follow....

Looks like I need to submit something here as well! consider it done...

anon Ymou 07.02.16 7:52am
Al OPecia
Sophie Dahl keeps Jamie Cullum in handbag as fashion accessory

Statuesque model, cook and book character inspiration, today admitted that her marriage to pint size jazz pianist, is a sham, as she keeps him in her handbag as a fashion accessory in the same way...

simonjmr 05.02.16 7:19pm
Dead whale mystery – Japan urged to accelerate its [s]slaughter [/s] research

The mystery surrounding the 30 dead sperm whales found around the North Sea coastline has stimulated urgent requests for Japan to slaughter even more whales. ‘Japan is the world leader in whale...

deceangli 05.02.16 9:08pm
Pope to hold historic meeting with Russian Orthodontist 0
Smart Alex 05.02.16 6:29pm
Smart Alex
‘Bottom dropping’ out of toilet paper industry rumours ‘false’

“So quite the contrary, in fact we are flushed with success” beamed Sue Urage, Chief Executive of Customers ‘R’ Arsewipes. “So, the 500% upsurge in the toilet paper industry over the past...

farmer giles 05.02.16 6:03pm
farmer giles
Corbyn's first appearance in Cross Party Parlimentary Fight Club disappointing

Report's are reaching us that Jeremy Corbyn has finally made his appearance at the Cross Party Parliamentary Fight Club. The ancient club which dates back to the 1800s pits the cabinet and it's...

SimonJJames 05.02.16 5:22pm
Terrorists use suicide whales in attack on western Europe 0
Renrag 05.02.16 4:48pm
Maurice White no relation to Maurice Micklewhite (not a lot of people know that) 0
farmer giles 05.02.16 4:33pm
farmer giles
Funniest thing about Keith Lemon sketch show is fact it was commissioned

The single most amusing thing about 'The Keith Lemon Sketch Show' is that ITV actually paid for it to be produced, it has emerged. Confirming the strongly held suspicion that Leigh Francis has done...

BenedictTD 05.02.16 3:25pm
Question Time audience disappointed after Farage not involved in fatal crash 0
LittleSpender 05.02.16 1:32pm
Latest Swedish Research Proves Bears do Sh*t in the Woods

After years of speculation surrounding the toilet habits of bears, a Swedish team have conducted a study and have proved that bears do sh*t in the woods. This was all part of a wider study into what...

Bagger 05.02.16 5:04pm
MOD confirms development of the Lucan bomber, it kills and disappears for 42yrs 0
simonjmr 05.02.16 11:56am
2,000 French words replaced with b'ellend 0
simonjmr 05.02.16 11:50am
.. wrong room 1
Gary Stanton 05.02.16 12:12pm
Maurice White's family to decide funeral arrangements between Earth or Fire. 4
simonjmr 05.02.16 11:58am
Millions of Britons just 'one degree away' from bacon sandwich

People living in the UK are just one 'saliva drenched' degree away from a bacon sandwich according to a joint report commissioned by the Department of Health and facebook. Bacon sandwiches have long...

S J Roe 05.02.16 3:26pm
Queen rushes through knighthoods for all 68-year-old rock stars 1
sydalg 05.02.16 10:10am

.. Ploo tarder...

weematt 05.02.16 7:53am
Grim Reaper denies New Year productivity bonus claim 1
Scroat 05.02.16 10:13am
Veil did nothing to protect my modesty, says Venice Carnival goer

A young Blackburn woman, recently returned from taking part in the revelries at Venice Carnival, has claimed that wearing a veil over her face did nothing to protect her modesty. The woman, who...

Stan and Des 05.02.16 7:31am
Stan and Des
Rick Santorum Drops Out Of GOP Race, Endorses Putin

February 4th, 2016, Pittsburgh, PENNSYLVANIA- Former Pennsylvania senator and 2016 Republican candidate Rick Santorum, officially ended his bid for the party's nomination on Monday and has...

Takos1021 05.02.16 1:46am
Mac from 'Murphy's Mob' to succeed Louis Van Gaal as Manchester Utd boss

In a shock move Manchester United have announced that Mac Murphy from the 1980s kids TV show 'Murphy's Mob' is to take over the reigns at Old Trafford in the summer. At a packed press conference this...

harrypalmer 04.02.16 10:30pm
Lucan finally feels at home in House of Lords 0
sydalg 04.02.16 8:50pm
Intelligent life form spotted in Wetherspoons pub 3
S J Roe 04.02.16 9:09pm
Bank of England Governor admits he can’t remember how to put up interest rates

Interest rates are set to remain at their historic low of 0.5% after the Governor of the Bank of England Mark Carney revealed today that no-one at the bank could remember how to raise them. ...

harrypalmer 05.02.16 12:49pm
Lord Lucan leaves Ecuadorian embassy

"A piece of cake" he told surprised journalists waiting for Julian Assange to be arrested. "I dumped my car in Newhaven, caught the train back to London, and have been here ever since. Nobody...

Tammy Flugh 05.02.16 6:34pm
Tammy Flugh
Family game of Monopoly breaks down after child's request for Mayfair "opt-out"

A family game of monopoly has been balancing on the edge of a knife after the eldest child Dave, requested an "opt-out" of paying anything to anyone else if he landed on their four-house Mayfair....

LondonTom 04.02.16 5:14pm
'No muslims' Trump says 'No more Mr Nice Guy' after defeat 1
Dun Dunkin 05.02.16 3:28pm
Wetherspoons take rat off the menu, customers ask for chips to be taken off too 0
throngsman 04.02.16 4:06pm
Cancer forecasts to be included in the Autumn Statement

Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, has decided that cancer mortality rates should be determined by his department from next Autumn, following the revelation today that while cancer death...

throngsman 05.02.16 3:27pm