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Lee Evans quits 'comedy'....funniest thing he's ever said! 0
irreverendJ 1 day
Eric Pickles dismayed as his balcony restoration is delayed again 0
throngsman 1 day
Anti-establishment UKIP voters return second ex-Tory MP to Parliament. 3
Crayon 1 day

(WARNING: This ticker sub may contain traces of political satire and could cause drowsiness.)...

Emily Thornberry to join staff of spoof news site 1
Glen Morangie 1 day

Following her resignation as Shadow Attorney General, Emily Thornberry has announced she is to become a journalist. Thornberry stated "Well, with crime so low these days, the barrister work has...

Charlie Chaplin hired by Wigan to handle all Press Conferences 0
Underconstruction 1 day
Max Clifford prison diary remains a disappointment 0
Underconstruction 1 day

[s]2235[/s] [s]2234[/s] [s]2233[/s] [s]2232[/s] 2231...

BBC Presenters Told to Give Reverence to The Prophet Muhammed (PbuH). 0
bootjangler 1 day

All BBC TV and Radio presenters have been informed that if they mention the name of the Muslim Prophet Muhammed, they will now have to utter, "Peace be upon him," afterwards. A spokesperson said,...

New research cast doubts on the story of the tortioise and the hare 1
blacklesbian 1 day

Scientists at a West Midlands University have expressed doubts about the story of the tortoise and the hare, after reproducing the race under laboratory conditions. The researchers recruited a...

‘In The Air Tonight’ voted best-ever song about masturbation 1
farmer giles 1 day
Derbyshire man devises fellatio voucher scheme after breastfeeding initiative 3
Dick Everyman 1 day

Gary Prendergast, a 32 year old Derbyshire man, has successfully introduced a fellatio voucher scheme into his marriage. The scheme follows on from a controversial Government health program in...

Pupils at six small private schools in London are at risk of extremist views 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day

Eton and Harrow declined to comment...

Politician says he feels "respect" when he sees a white van 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day

But not black ones?...

House of Commons outsource all Tweets to Duke of Edinburgh 0
Iroquois Pliskin 1 day
Next generation mobile phones to take random actions to next level 0
ronseal 1 day

Samsung is to launch The Dalmation, the next generation mobile phone with a mind of its own that completely and utterly ignores its owner's wishes. The Samsung Dalmation is designed to take human...

Coulson - If I can hack prison I can hack anything 0
throngsman 1 day
Disaffected UK extremists ‘may not be allowed to re-join the Conservative Party’ 0
TheNewsWalrus 1 day

The Prime Minister today announced a new raft of measures designed to combat the threat of Britons joining the shadowy extremist group UKIP, including removing the right of those individuals to later...

Rochester & Strood UKIP voters praise the MP's new clothes. 0
Crayon 1 day
Ched Evans insists on training with Sheffield Utd even though they said no 14
harrypalmer 1 day
Breaking news: Andy Coulson escapes prison - the public warned to be vigilent 0
Glen Morangie 1 day
Men relish denouncing 1970s sexism while still repeatedly saying 'tits' 12
Oxbridge 1 day

Shocking revelations about how senior figures from the world of entertainment got away with sexual harassment, combined with an unlimited appetite for instant nostalgia among those who grew up with...

White van driver denies being common - just hasn't hung curtains properly 0
throngsman 1 day

The owner of the white van Tweeted by Emily Thornberry yesterday has defended his home furnishings. "I decided on the flag of St George the day England last had a successful match," he said,...

Offensive comments about moneylenders to be removed from NewTestament 0
Loundshay 1 day
Parasitic worm removed from Shadow Cabinet 0
Scroat 1 day
Paddington sequel in doubt amid Ukip calls for repatriation 0
bookiesfriend 1 day
Censors admit they read the film title as "Paddington Bare" 0
apepper 1 day

More to follow...

The arse and the farce 0
Jim Garner 1 day

Kate and William invite their siblings for lunch...

Craig Charles to visit Big Brother household 1
Underconstruction 1 day
Tony Blair condemns Cherie Law 4
Dick Everyman 1 day
Sainsbury's advert to feature ISIS and Yazidi Christians in heart warming truce 0
Mandy Lifeboat 1 day
Scottish F.A to probe manager 1
Jan Nermart 1 day

The Scottish F.A are set to launch an investigation into the team selection aginst England at Celtic Park on Tuesday night. It seems that the manager, Gordon Strachan, may have been randomly...