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Deadly quake wipes out Rutland, damage estimated at £20 5
custard cream 1 day
Boost for Miliband, as invertebrate enjoys success against Cameron 0
Andy Gilder 1 day
Farage denies existence of UKIP jellyfish training centre. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 1 day
Jellyfish reminded me of Nick Clegg, admits PM 0
Squudge 1 day
Cameron in sting. Orders poached salmon in aspic gets jellyfish. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 1 day
NUT members delighted that leader spoke 'clearly and nicely' throughout address 0
Underconstruction 1 day
Toads demand that toadstools be re-named. 0
Maverick 1 day
Da Vinci portrait confirmed as a 'selfie' 0
Underconstruction 1 day
Abu Hamza unable to play hooky in US courtroom 8
Squudge 1 day

Islamist preacher Abu Hamza, born Mustafa Kamal Mustafa, has appeared at the US federal court in New York this week, minus his scary bits. Hamza lost his hands doing something that 'went down a bomb...

Pensioners helpfully told 'your days are numbered' 7
Wrenfoe 1 day

Minister Steve Webb proposes that all of the UK's OAPs should be given a stark reality check in terms of life expectancy. Mr. Webb's understandable concern is that the elderly are unaware of their...

Andre Johnsonless. 0
Maverick 1 day
Wanted Arab terrorists located by scent of their strong perfume 0
Dumbnews 1 day
Supermarkets Admit Lamb Products May Contain Bush Meat. 0
Rumour Control 1 day

No Horse related Phenyl Butazone carcinogens this time then, only a slight risk of haemorrhagic fever...

Snowden Asks Putin ‘Will the KGB cut my Balls off if I do not Co-operate’ 0
Rumour Control 1 day

In the most unconvincing propaganda yet, Putin denies mass interception of communications in Russia, "nothing like that happens in this enlightened country free from police suppression and...

London Marathon to be revamped as London Snickers 0
camz 1 day
Last of the Mohicans - Diary entry: "Off to get a bowl cut" 0
camz 1 day
Cut-Backs Affect Local Newsp 0
Titus 1 day
US Courts agree to deport Abu Hamza back to the UK 0
bonjonelson 1 day
Cardiff complain to League that Palace knew in advance that they were shit 1
bookiesfriend 1 day

Cardiff City have sent a 5-page letter of complaint to the Premier League arguing that their 3-0 defeat at the hands of Crystal Palace in early April should not stand. The Welsh club claim to have...

PM preempts Female MPs PMQ problems with PMT pun. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 1 day
Sham halal lamb a ding dong. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 1 day
Scientists to start looking for planets nothing like this hellhole 0
Bigglesworth 1 day
Cameron "may be descended from Moses". Has already divided nation 0
Andy Gilder 2 days
Banksy to do Selfie in Bromley on Sunday... 0
camz 2 days

and Hey Nonny Nonny, we just can't wait...

Search for ferry survivors hampered by 'water' 3
NewBiscuit 2 days

The increasingly-desperate search for survivors of the South Korean ferry disaster has been made all the more difficult because the incident happened at sea, according to a search and rescue expert...

deadly asian hornets coming from France - we warned you say UKIP 0
throngsman 2 days
Koreans blame confusion over rife lafts. 0
MADJEZ 2 days

I'll get my coat...

New BANKSYs spring up all over the UK 3
pinxit 2 days

This is meant as just a headline followed by pic Left Alert. Because of the set-up on NB boards, I have to pad out the first two lines so that the URL doesn't rattle out first. Anyway, here's the...

Pistorius 'held in contempt' for rubbish Parker impressions 4
Squudge 2 days

In a dramatic legal twist today the trial of Oscar Pistorius was halted after the whole proceedings were judged to be 'frankly taking the piss'. The case was halted after Pistorius rather over-did...

Collins and Chambers ponder 'Co-op' definition 0
camz 2 days

Collins and Chambers are considering allowing a new definition to be made for the term 'Co-op' (Co-operative): [i]"Where one invests money, believing in a better collective cause, only for a group...