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Kirk to enter prides 0
Not Amused 16 hours
Straight man attacked by gang of vicious homosexuals 9
Darkbill 2.0 17 hours

A 20-year old straight man has told of his terror at being set upon by a gang of openly gay thugs. The victim told reporters that earlier that evening he had been the subject of a series of bitingly...
Swivel-eyed loons quick to distance themselves from Tory party. 9
Boutros 18 hours

"We've enough on our plate already, what with these swivel eyes, and being loons, without having to take on this dreadful stigma," said Arthur Clench, Chairman of the Society of Swivel-eyed Loons,...
Nightclub under fire for mirrors that show reflection of person's worth 2
andrewl81 18 hours

A Glasgow nightclub has come under fire after secretly installing mirrors in the gents bathrooms that allow people to see the impact they'll have on the planet. "We meant to install one way mirrors...
Man "living the dream" wakes to find he is dreaming the life. 3
weematt 19 hours
New Zealand Cricket team accused of match fixing. More soon. 0
deskpilot3 19 hours
Not saying a thing is the new thing is the new saying a thing is the new thing 5
Idiot 19 hours

Not saying something is the new something is the new saying something is the new something, according to the latest edition of Vogue. "Not saying something is the new something means saying...
Swivel-eyed Tory's wife has a smashing pair of testicles 3
Lenny Bee 19 hours

Staunch anti-gay marriage Tory activist, Brigadier Sir Compton Carboys, has revealed that his petite 54 year old wife, Brioney, is pretty fit in the old bouncing bombs department. “My wifey's a...
EU throws olive oil on Cameron's European troubles 0
custard cream 20 hours
Bowie admits dyslexia as Major Tim prepares to blast off 4
MaverickRat 20 hours

Too obvious?...
Change Control Board meeting turns into a "Devil Nightmare". 0
Al OPecia 21 hours

Neat-O Anagram just for Harry...
3 brothers seeking union applaud precedent set by same sex marriage bill 0
topfotogmw 21 hours
Google search for "reasons to put something back into society" returns no result 2
ronseal 22 hours

A man who asked Google to help him find a moral framework has reported an incredible run of bad luck with the search engine. The ordeal started when the Tommy Jones turned to the Internet in a...
Gay marriage plans derailed by ridiculously fashionable clothing on the line 0
Crooked Man 22 hours

'We can't say it was the wrong kind of clothes, because they were just so, so right' said a spokesman, before bursting into tears...
Disappointment for scientists as new super-computer fails to go mad. 6
sredni vashta 23 hours

Scientists at Mal-Tech University, Wisconsin have expressed their immense disappointment at the failure of their new super-computer Off White to show any signs of megalomania. The technological...
God arrested for stealing man's thunder 1
Dumbnews 23 hours
Tory's face "worst nightmare" as aggressive homosexual attacks swivel-eyed loon 0
andrewl81 23 hours

A top level Conservative Party official has claimed that the party faces it's "worst nightmare" after a swivel eyed loon was attacked by an aggressive homosexual. The official said, "It was our...
John Terry snubs "US" tour by claiming it should all be about "Me" 0
irreverendJ 1 day

Chelsea claim he has an injury:a bruised ego...
Police uncover plans for Chelsea Flower Show air strike 3
Not Amused 1 day

Preparations for the Chelsea Flower Show continue to be disrupted following a statement by the metropolitan police that they have uncovered a planned air strike., The air admitted that it will be...
Tories deny 'swivel eyed loon' comment was reference to Michael Gove 1
sillybugger 1 day
Godolphin scandal widens..."we didn't do it on porpoise", says Sheikh Mohammed 1
topfotogmw 1 day

Another obvious one so apologies for any repitition!...
Porn industry thinks children should be exposed to education 8
Wrenfoe 1 day

There is growing alarm among the U.K.’s leading pornographers, that children as old as 16 are still to be exposed to basic literacy and numeracy. Research suggests that some students in later...
Abu Qatada 'home for Christmas' 0
Crooked Man 1 day

He can't believe his mince pie, according to a friend...
Bill Gates is world's richest man again after loan from Wonga 0
John Wiltshire 1 day

Bill Gates regained the title of World's Richest Man after taking out a loan from Wonga of 5 trillion dollars. 'I saw their ad on my 58 TVs,' he said today. 'The old people looked so nice and...
Daleks adopt the slogan 'We are swivel-eyed loons' 3
John Wiltshire 1 day

A spokesdalek for the Daleks said today that they were proud to call themsleves 'swivel-eyed loons.' 'Forget the Conservatives,' said Dalek Sek. 'We are the original swivel-eyed loons. We only have...
Gove heckled by head teachers ' it's your own time you're wasting' he responds 6
topfotogmw 1 day
Home Secretary courts popularity by holding gay marriage in May garage. 0
nickb 1 day
Mouthwash manufacturers to market "Gurgle Glasses" 0
nickb 1 day
Home Counties opthalmic surgeons report increase in private work 0
nickb 1 day
Swivel-Eyed Leader Of An Opposition Party Denies He Is A Secret Tory Activist 0
Titus 1 day