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'If Fat Bastards Are Disabled, Then So Are We' Say Thick Twats 0
Titus 19 hours
Bill Clinton looking forward to ‘massive cigar’ 4
nickb 19 hours

Former President Bill Clinton has greeted the news that Americans might be allowed to legally import Cuban cigars with delight. ‘I have had some enormous cigars in the past,’ he told the...

Don't send a Sony to Do A Man's Job 0
Dun Dunkin 19 hours
Royal Mail Sale Was 'Second Class' 0
Dun Dunkin 20 hours
LittleGreenMenPeace Warns 'Methane Will Cause Martian Warming'. 0
Titus 20 hours

LittleGreenMenPeace has joined the Friends of Mars in protesting about bursts of methane gas which have been detected on Mars. "This Martian-made pollution will amost certainly lead to climate...

Sony pull Seth Rogen film after protests from film fans 0
johnnydobbo 20 hours

More unfunny bollocks soon...

Sony Crumble to International Terrorism 1
Dun Dunkin 20 hours

release 'Jellyfish' film instead...

Bankrupt Man's High Blood Pressure Is Deemed 'Deficit Hypertension Disorder'. 0
Titus 20 hours
UK fishing quotas to be scaled down. 0
Rotten Johnny 21 hours

"Gonna need a smaller boat" says veteran fisherman Clammy Davis...

Russia Applies To Join Eurozone 1
Titus 1 day
FIFA Ethics Chief Resigns 1
Dun Dunkin 1 day

They stopped pretending...

Cubans celebrate finally being able to new second hand 1950s car parts 0
Scronnyglonkle 1 day
Rules for "three people babies" revealed - one on top one underneath. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 1 day
Chepstow Fills With Abandoned Children 0
Titus 1 day

Social Services, childrens' charities and Gwent Constabulary are becoming increasingly concerned about the rapidly swelling crowds of abandoned children found alongside the A456 on the approach to...

Church of England next Bishop to be 'a muslim' 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day
Twenty a day toddler tells health minister to "F88k off" 0
Underconstruction 1 day
Pensioner discovers identical snowflakes 2
Underconstruction 1 day

A 67 year old Bolton man has destroyed one of the last remaining myths surrounding Xmas, after discovering identical snowflakes on the windscreen of his Rover 600 motor car., Reg Smith a former...

Chaos ensues after Obama orders Cuba Libre at the office party. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 1 day
NRA calls for more guns and smaller government in Pakistan 0
Bigglesworth 1 day
Chilcot New Realease Date Out By Christmas 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day

Christmas 2030....

Taliban complain to Pakistan about inadequate signage for girls' schools 0
Adrian Bamforth 1 day
Universal Relief As Our Honourable And Benign Leaders Permanently Ban All Irony 0
Titus 1 day
Password complexity to overtake poetry by 2020 5
deceangli 1 day

Industry experts have warned that email passwords will need to be 'more sophisticated than a Shakespearean sonnet' to overcome the efforts of criminal hackers and elected governments. 'Limericks...

Taliban Orders Were To 'Only Shoot Senior Pupils' - So That's All Right Then 0
Titus 1 day
Councils object to proliferation of illegal 'Santa Stop Here' signs 0
Ian Searle 1 day
Alex Salmond to campaign for British independence from Scotland 1
Adrian Bamforth 1 day

(Either ticker or full story) After the recent defeat on the Yes Campaign in the Scottish Independence Referendum, Alex Salmond has announced that he will now be campaigning for UK independence from...

Russell Brand launches book: "Nigel Farage: My Part in his Downfall" 15
Sinnick 1 day
Police closely watching halal chipshop serving "jihaddock portions" 0
sydalg 1 day
Sydney Opera House "not result of terrorist attack", tour guide wearily explains 0
sydalg 1 day
Homeopathic medicine 'has no homophobic side effects' 0
Oxbridge 1 day

Homeopaths have advised UKIP candidates troubled by headaches to use homeopathic medicines instead of strong analgesics. This followed the withdrawal of the hitherto nice, moderate parliamentary...