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NewsBiscuit trolls demand concise sentences. 0
Squudge 23 hours
Twitter trolls remain defiant in face of longer sentences 0
Adrian Bamforth 23 hours
MPs face 5 years in jail for setting bad example to trolls during PMQs 0
farmer giles 1 day

“About time too” blogged ‘droopydraws’ (aka Mrs Ava Waverly of 36 Green Street, Bournemouth - source: Cloud News) “they’re always shouting vile abuse at each other and threatening to kill...

Man visits film effects restaurant - CGI Friday's 19
Smart Alex 1 day
Speed cameras to be replaced by Eye of Sauron 0
deceangli 1 day

The Ministry of Transport has confirmed a contract with Mordor Enterprises plc for traffic surveillance following delays to the Smart Motorway Network. ‘We had hoped to have every inch of motorway...

Katie Price unveils plans for second vagina 19
Robopop 1 day

Owner of celebrity's busiest vagina, Katie Price, has today announced plans for an additional vagina to help cope with the demand on her existing front bottom. Vagina2, as it will be known, will be...

Ched Evans leaves football and starts a new career as a Rotherham taxi driver. 1
godly1966 1 day

Or Rotherham police officer., I would give this one star but it would deprive someone else the pleasure...

Pornography ‘way better than expected’ 1
deceangli 1 day

A Government think-tank set up to review technological advances has declared that almost all technologies are ‘disappointing’ when compared with predictions made in the 1970s – with one...

Gaoling internet trolls not enough, target all Tolkien misuse - Miliband 1
throngsman 1 day

The leader of the opposition has criticised the government's plans to target internet trolls only. 'We've been saying that Tolkienesque misuse of the internet has been a big problem for years,' said...

NHS to operate in the Virtual World 11
deceangli 1 day

Health Minister Jeremy Hunt has calculated that the NHS could save billions if it operated as a computer model, like The Matrix. ‘What we’re seeing is errors, cock-ups really’, said Hunt....

UKIP's Opponents Continue to Ignore EUlephant In The Room - & In Everything Else 0
Titus 1 day
Cameron Seeks To Limit Unskilled EU Immigration 'Oh, And Please Don't Vote UKIP' 0
Titus 1 day
House of Commons 'babbling black eyed ghoul' turns out to be Ed Miliband 4
pinxit 1 day

MP Alan Johnson revealed today that the spectral black eyed 'lost soul' seen haunting Palace of Westminster corridors over the last few months is in fact Labour Party leader Ed Miliband....

Striker dubbed 'the Anti-gravity boy' fails to dive for penalty 5
Screenie 1 day

In a vital one - nil victory for Bolton Wanderers over arch rivals Charlton, a Bolton striker caused uproar amongst the footballing fraternity by blatantly not falling over when tackled by a...

Doctors warn glaucoma can make you act like a twat. More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 1 day
Farage Defects To Monster Raving Loony Party 1
Titus 1 day

Carswell and Reckless outraged at 'disloyalty and betrayal'. Farage describes his disillusion with 'complacent, out-of-touch mainstream Westminster parties, like UKIP'...

Pope targeted by laser-guided Missals. More soon. 12
Al OPecia 1 day
RSPCA warns RSPB to 'Keep off our manor' 0
antharrison 1 day

The 'Give nature a home' TV advertising campaign launched by the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) has prompted a few heavies from the Royal Society for the Protection of Cruelty to...

Mark Reckless leaves UKIP for Lib Dems. 'It's my train set' he claims 0
throngsman 1 day
Neutron thief released without charge 3
apepper 1 day

More to follow...

Neurotic Airline Passenger Glad To Have Lost Emotional Baggage 1
Titus 1 day

[Hat tip to nickb]...

Badger suicides account for cull success 0
monkeyrepublic 1 day

The economic crisis has hit badgers too, according to researchers, who say that suicide rates among the Badger population have tripled since 2008. The figures, released today by an independent body...

MPs apologise for attending Austerity Protest - 'oh yeah, we get pay rises' 0
throngsman 1 day

Not much more later, it seems...

Toenails an "evolutionary trifle", says science 1
monkeyrepublic 1 day

Toenails have been derided as completely stupid and unnecessary by an influential evolutionary biologist. The statement came in the wake of research suggesting that human societies can thrive in the...

Miliband Promises Cancer Cure. Elsewhere: Doctors Advise Don't Hold Your Breath 0
Titus 1 day
Cameron slams Euro diseases 0
monkeyrepublic 1 day

Prime Minister David Cameron has raised concerns over the quality of EU diseases and called on member states to follow the UK's lead with such "splendid" infections as whooping cough, chicken pox and...

Public mistake The Walking Dead for the media’s Ebola coverage 0
Wrenfoe 1 day

Seventeen million Americans tuned into the fifth season of AMC’s post-apocalyptic horror show, on the deluded assumption that it was a public information film created by Fox News. As actor Andrew...

Patients "using counterfeit teeth" 0
apepper 1 day

More to follow...

Emotional baggage handlers ‘very anxious’ about strike ballot 3
nickb 1 day

‘Taking people’s emotional baggage on board is nerve rackingly unpredictable’ says handler Vic Smythe. That’s why this strike is justified. Although a lot of us are terrified of the...

Ungrateful chambermaid turns down bed 1
beau-jolly 2 days

OK, I know I'm already on a written warning...