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Police Called As Scuffles Break Out In Long Queue Waiting To Punch Galloway 0
Titus 20 hours
Police investigating 42 million suspects, after attack on George Galloway 1
Sinnick 20 hours
PM warns ISIS risk so great he will wait until after weekend to do anything 0
throngsman 20 hours
You only think you're happy 0
Jim Garner 1 day

Five year, 100-psychiatrist study proves happiness in an illusion...

Scotland demand to keep threat level of their choosing. 3
Kevin the Swan 1 day
The 'Jeremy Hunt' Minister Droid Mk1 recalled because eyes too unhuman. 0
Crayon 1 day

More system errors soon...

Jeremy Hunt announces the Michelin Guide will now rate UK hospitals' standards. 0
Crayon 1 day

Even less CQC responsibilities soon...

Queen Steals Crown & Disappears - Buckingham Palace Denies All Knowledge 2
Titus 1 day

Government raises public's gullibility level to 'Very' 1
roybland 1 day
Apple Records lawyers force Brit jihadists into hiding 0
bonjonelson 1 day

An uneasy calm has settled on Mosul in Northern Iraq after lawyers acting for Apple Records, the Beatles' record company, descended on the town to issue a Cease and Desist notice to British-born...

GCHQ admits that, actually, it does know Jack 0
throngsman 1 day
UK threat level raised to 'stable door open' 2
Squudge 1 day
Labour Stops Beating About The Bush And Takes The Bull By The Horns 0
Coffeemate 1 day

Labour have announced their plans for a reform of Britain's Health & Safety Regulations, should they be successful at the next election. A select Think Tank has decided that Britain will be a...

Rotherham Council to celebrate Dalek culture 4
deceangli 1 day

Rotherham is to host a multi-cultural celebration of Dalek culture, as part of its commitment to helping the Dalek community settle into the town. “There have been some issues with exterminations...

Artist Buries 30 Clacton UKIP Candidiates On Beach - How Many Can YOU Dig Up? 2
Titus 1 day

Only two found so far more later ...

UK Increases Security Alert As Thousands Of School Children Return From Holiday 2
Coffeemate 1 day
Geordie threat level raised to 'did ye spill my pint' 0
RobArmstrong 1 day
UK terror level raised to "too fucking late" 3
Sinnick 1 day
BNP bury Nazi Gold in Folkestone, then call it Art when they're rumbled 0
MrPhill 1 day
Putin abandons attempt to reclaim Alaska 4
Jim Garner 1 day

Russia's president Vlad Putin last week ordered that an attempt to reclaim Alaska be abandoned, after learning that Sara Palin comes with the territory. Alaska was settled by Russians in the 19th...

69-year old quits making tonight's dinner after losing sense of perspective 0
Kevin the Swan 1 day
TESCO To Offer 1,000,000 Club Card Points To Anyone Who Buys One Of Their Shares 0
Titus 1 day
‘Horse wanking’ odds-on to be next big Internet fad 6
Robopop 1 day

As millions succumb to the tidal power of the Ice Bucket challenge, selflessly sacrificing their dryness in the name of charity, bookmakers have started offering odds on what the crazy, fun-seeking...

Overstretched snooker player needs a rest. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 1 day
Folkestone beach gold diggers uncover 23 mobile phones, 12 pairs of keys.... 16
custard cream 1 day

22 hearing aids, 1 false leg, 14 umbrellas, 343 WWII land mines, 67 walking sticks, 2 passports Any others?...

Cameron plans to seize UKIP defectors' passports 0
custard cream 1 day
Badgers To Support uk Caliphate If It Means End of Cull 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day
Foreign Office Has 'Lost' Treaty That Obliges Uk to defend Ukraine 0
Dun Dunkin 1 day

"We only keep paperwork for 5 years. It must of got shredded. Sorry"...

Ice-bucket challenge to be replaced by 'snog a Jihadi' challenge. 0
Ted King 1 day

If you can keep your head you might raise some money for charidee...

UK Terror Threat Level raised to 'Eastenders Rescheduled'. 3
MADJEZ 1 day