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New international travelling Syrian Circus deny they are migrants. 1
Dun Dunkin 22 hours
Migrants to be given 'transfer window' 0
Underconstruction 22 hours
Chilcot "trapped by polar bears". Could delay report. 0
Teffort 23 hours
Electoral commition: "Is farage a twat" a leading question for the referendum 0
steve_l 23 hours

The Electoral Commission has told the government to rethink its proposed referendum question, as "Is Nigel Farage a twat" was considered a leading question. The spokesman said "a referendum is meant...

National Sperm Bank in merger with Ashley Madison 1
Loundshay 23 hours

loads more soon...

Barack Obama grabs buns to delight crowd 0
Teffort 1 day
UK Holiday House Swap sets up deal with Syria 0
Loundshay 1 day
'I always thought Corbyn right for leader' says ex critic looking for job 2
Dun Dunkin 1 day

"Perhaps in the heat of the moment my saying civilisation would end if he became leader was a little hasty and that my saying anyone who voted for him was a moron was misquoted and out of context....

UKIP accuse Police of being bogus siren seekers 0
Adrian Bamforth 1 day
Demand for abortions to soar during Pope's Jubilee year 0
Hindari Banga 1 day
Wife agrees to re-wording of "Can my mum visit?" question 1
Underconstruction 1 day

MTF (soon) Like this idea...

Sperm bank disappointed by small deposits… 0
Nomad 1 day

Barbara Jones, Chief Executive of the National Sperm Bank has apologised for having just nine men on the books who are willing to donate. Holding up a half-full test tube in front of invited...

England seals northern border to immigrants 2
cinnahmon 1 day

Virgin Trains have announced the suspension of services from Glasgow Central to London Euston. Thousands of Scottish economic migrants have been marooned in Britain's northernmost wasteland dashing...

Anglo-Spanish beer makers almost organise party. 0
olddoc 1 day
IS threaten to destroy Minecraft sites 1
throngsman 1 day

Islamic State has declared today that UNESCO attempts to recreate the Temple of Bel using the virtual Lego game, Minecraft, would be "destroyed" by IS gamers accessing and corrupting UNESCO servers....

UN to recreate world heritage sites in Minecraft. 0
deskpilot3 1 day

Just like the real thing. And no chance of vandalism by mindless tossers...

Majority of time on facebook spent judging strangers, admits Zuckerberg 3
Dumbnews 1 day
Tourist arrested after taking the waters at Bath Spar 0
blacklesbian 1 day
Chilcot to return to job of updating Newsbiscuit tickers after finishing report 3
bonjonelson 1 day
Sperm Bank 'crash' more of a squelch 1
Wrenfoe 1 day

On what financial analysts are calling 'White Tuesday', the UK national sperm bank was forced to admit to a massive loss of savings and that the content of their vault was little more than 'a sticky...

UK To Have A Referendum Option Choice Decision 0
Titus 1 day

To avoid any suggestion of bias, the government has agreed that the public should be allowed to choose whether the wording of Britain's future continued membership of the EU referendum should be:...

National Sperm Bank merge with HSBC to raise deposits from tight-fisted wankers. 0
Crayon 1 day
Chilcot turns to psychic to trace report 0
tamoshanter 1 day

..more soon...

Harry Redknapp pursued around Tesco by reporters on transfer deadline day 0
Midfield Diamond 1 day

As the transfer window closed last night, former football boss and reckless spender Harry Redknapp was followed around his local supermarket by television journalists. Keen for an incriminating...

National Sperm Bank management vow 'to make a good fist' of the job 0
throngsman 1 day
Vatican prepared to forgive those who voted Tory 0
throngsman 1 day

In a shock announcement today, Pope Francis has instructed priests to give Catholic voters who voted Tory at the last General Election absolution. This is part of a Holy Year commencing 8th December...

LibDems envious of National Sperm Bank’s 9 members 2
deceangli 1 day
Austrian police find van containing Von Trapp family corpses. More soon. 8
dominic_mcg 1 day
EU Referendum question changed to 'Dads Army' invasion graphic to tick or cross 0
Underconstruction 1 day
Rugby player comes out as football fan 15
S J Roe 1 day

James Richardson, the 18-year-old fullback for Avingdale rugby club's youth side, yesterday came out as a football fan in a tearful confession to his team mates. 'We knew something was amiss; the...