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Labour leadership race heats up after candidates display vital life signs 0
StanleyMizaru 19 hours

A so-far tepid Labour leadership race has started to heat up after one of the candidates was found to have a pulse last night. Medical experts unexpectedly found the vital life sign on Liz Kendall....

Deadly poison found in supermarket poultry; Customers demand money off 0
Adrian Bamforth 1 day
Teddy Bear lorry crash: Two Ronnies writers rushed to the scene. 0
deskpilot3 1 day
209 FIFA members vote Blatter back in by 371 votes to 42. 0
deskpilot3 1 day

after extra time...

Sepp Blatter's weird brother Ed elected FIFA president 0
ianslat 1 day

The world of football has been shocked by the unexpected election of Sepp Blatter's slightly odd younger brother Ed. Ed Blatter set out his plans to reform FIFA on a huge tablet of stone, on which...

FBI reports Sepp Blatter was on the Grassy Knoll. 0
LuckyJim 1 day

No more to follow...

5 FA Cup goals that shook the world 0
harrypalmer 1 day

Ronnie Radford V Newcastle United 1972 Think of giant killing in the FA Cup and one instantly thinks of Hereford United’s famous defeat of Newcastle in the Third Round in 1972. With only minutes...

78 Year Old President Says He Can't Be Expected To be Awake 1
Dun Dunkin 1 day

"I need a nap in the afternoon and if some people do bad things why blame me? Anyone would think I had some responsibility to enforce standards. Sometimes its a bit confusing what is going on"...

Londoners take to the streets in support of Galloway 0
Wrenfoe 1 day

Not since VE Day have so many people swarmed the capital, to welcome a new era of Galloway self-aggrandisement. Responding to the pleas of orphans and the hopes of a generation, the ex-Respect MP had...

Weather Forecast 0
rantyroger 1 day

There is a severe weather warning out for Switzerland. Strong squalls and associated damage can be expected in Zurich. The rain is expected to blatter...

Ecclestone - Call that a corruption scandal? 0
Max Stars 1 day
Tense moment as man operating David Cameron storms out in a strop 0
gaijintendo 1 day

The banker operating David Cameron declared "I can't believe they are making me work on a Bank Holiday", and stormed out of the reception room at Chequers. 15 tense minutes ensued as the Prime...

Blatter rolls around on pitch holding leg to draw attention away from wrongdoing 0
MADJEZ 1 day
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Iroquois Pliskin 1 day
Search continues for irony donor for Sepp Blatter 0
apepper 1 day

Doctors are appealing for a donor for Sepp Blatter who has displayed distressing symptoms of acute horisironis or, more commonly, no irony syndrome. One doctor explained; "When you can stand up and...

Education news: Tampax to sponsor teachers' free periods 0
Vespus 1 day
Nike tell Blatter 'Just do it' 0
Vespus 1 day
Methodist ministers apologise for acting like catholics. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 1 day
Uefa demand Blatter's head on a Platini 0
Vespus 1 day
FBI investigating FIFA look for a big boy who did it and ran away. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 1 day
UK holidaymakers turn Greek island of Kos into disgusting hellhole for refugees 1
David Microband 1 day

Syrian and Afghan refugees seeking asylum on the popular Greek island of Kos described their misery as boat loads of UK Holidaymakers have turned the island into a 'disgusting' hellhole....

Redben01 1 day
FIFA sponsor Visa upset bribes were paid in cash rather than card. 0
MADJEZ 1 day
Gay cake ruling means Jewish and Muslim butchers must now sell pork. - 2 44
MADJEZ 1 day

More stifling religious freedom in the name of political correctness soon...

FIFA relocates to Forfar 0
nickb 1 day

FIFA has announced it will share premises with those of Forfar Athletic, the Scottish League One side. The move is a further boost to potentially independent Scottish fortunes. SNP leader...

Atheist prostitute fined for refusing to do business with Irish priest. 4
Crayon 1 day

A judge has ruled that a prostitute who has no religous beliefs whatsoever was guilty of discriminating against a pro-god punter by refusing to satisfy his sexual appetite in the back of a Ford...

Neil Hamilton applies for FIFA job after hearing of cash filled brown envelopes. 0
MADJEZ 1 day
Americans ride to rescue of a sport they don't even know the proper name for 3
Oxbridge 1 day
FBI looks at award of 94 World Cup to country that doesn't know the sport's name 0
blacklesbian 1 day
Platini goes to doctor complaining of a seriously big hard-on 0
beckfordburger 1 day