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Yep. 0
Al OPecia 1 day
Apple: $18bn profit but still ‘keeping it real’ 2
Wrenfoe 1 day

Humble Apple executives released a statement confirming their commitment to a frugal lifestyle, regardless of owning ‘more spondoolies than Donald Trump can dream of’. Having now made the biggest...

London commuter confesses "I don't know why I'm rushing" 5
jonessgl 1 day

After 30 years of hard labour at a top investment bank, city worker, Alan Baxter, has finally admitted that he no longer needs to rush on the London Underground. This painful realisation has come at...

Polls Show Political Parties Neck-And-Neck In Election TV Debate Contest 2
Titus 1 day

According to the British Poll Society, the contest is currenty too close to call, and the National Survey Corporation is 98.7% in agreement with this, within the recognised margin of error. Earlier...

Cameron empty chair ‘proud of special relationship’ with Obama empty chair 0
beckfordburger 1 day
Apple Can't Decide Whether To Buy Google - Or Greece 1
Titus 1 day
Litvenenko case nothing that can't be sorted over a nice cup of tea says Kremlin 5
harrypalmer 1 day
Booker prize winner accused of hawkish sentimentality 0
custard cream 1 day

A literature gag - deal with it!...

Charlie’s Angels sequel to feature ‘bearded male cast' 0
Jesus H 1 day

A controversial sequel to the popular Charlie’s Angels movie has been announced this week, with a cast comprising entirely of bearded men from the West Midlands. The unexpected twist on the 2000...

Court gives Nutella new name Ella - parents choose middle name Fantine. 0
kealo 1 day
Actor In Disgrace For Failing To Use This Week's Politically-Correct Word 0
Titus 1 day

More, for ever, probably...

Henry the Hoover implicated in teenage sex abuse ring 0
Robopop 1 day

Britain's best loved vacuum cleaner, Henry the hoover, was in court today facing charges of historical sex abuse, alleged to be the ringleader of an elaborate ring of inanimate objects known as the...

God tempted by Apple 0
waffle 1 day

Our Lord God Almighty admitted today that even He is now tempted by a piece of Apple., After the American tech firm posted the largest quarterly profit in history, the creator of the Heavens and...

World loses interest as only unfashionable parts of America buried by blizzard 0
Sir Lupus 1 day
Anglican vicar rues decision to permit questions after sermon 1
jonessgl 1 day

Reverend Ian Beasley of Pendleton parish church has regretted the decision to curtail his regular Sunday sermon for questions. The Q&A was originally established to address the anxieties of...

Male bishops to keep one step ahead using difficult L-shaped moves 0
beckfordburger 1 day
Man Takes Up Smoking To Qualify For £400 Handout To Quit 0
Titus 1 day
Election to be Delayed till Debate Happens 1
Dun Dunkin 1 day
Election Manifestos contain 3x more sugary sweet promises than 2010 0
Ian Searle 1 day
Clegg to give free student tuition fees another go 0
farmer giles 1 day

“I am very sorry that I couldn’t deliver my pledge last time, but that nasty oik George Osborne wouldn’t allow it” he said. “It’s all right for all those Tory toffs – their rich...

Cameron believes 'debate should be good to go by June' 0
throngsman 2 days

The Prime Minister has signalled his irritation over gaining agreement for the format of the televised debates by the various party leaders. "The BBC want a 7-7-2 line-up, I suggested we should go...

UKIP to seek electoral pact with Syriza. 2
deskpilot3 2 days

Far left + far right = far out!...

Martians found on Pluto 5
farmer giles 2 days
World commemorates Allied Forces doing what Jehovah couldn't be bothered to do. 0
Crayon 2 days
Displaced Inuit lay claim to being native New Yorkers. 0
Crayon 2 days
Plusnet to block everything except porn by default 3
Iroquois Pliskin 2 days

No nonsense Internet service provider Plusnet is to switch on filters this week that will see customers specifically having to opt out if they don't want to see relentless, filthy, balls-to-the-wall...

Council Removes Bench & Confiscates Tramp's Newspapers On Health+Safety Grounds 0
Titus 2 days

Bishop basher bashes bishop 0
apepper 2 days

More to follow...

Seashell Seller Sentenced for Stealing Seashells from Seashore 5
tomholder 2 days

The shells she stole were the sea's shells, I'm sure., For if she sold sea-shells from the sea-shore, Then I'm sure she stole sea-shore shells...

Drinking red wine is as healthy as an hour at the gym, drinking red wine. 0
dominic_mcg 2 days