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CERN disappointed as Godot particle doesn't turn up 0
Sinnick 14.12.11 1:28pm
Hard pressed Royals to holiday abroad more often next year

- more soon...

medici2471 14.12.11 1:23pm
Drunken advance on own mother blamed on iPhone autocorrect

Local teenager Michael Hedges became the latest matriphiliac able to back out of an Oedipal sexual advance toward his own mother by blaming the autocorrect function on his iPhone. "I withdrew the...

Pabst Blue Ribbon 14.12.11 12:54pm
malgor 14.12.11 12:53pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Dawkins boson found by CERN known as the 'probably no God' particle 2
Username 14.12.11 12:15pm
Attenborough quits after HD footage reveals Steiff button in polar bear's ear 6
14.12.11 12:14pm
Scientists capture first glimpse of elusive Clegg boson

Scientists believe they may have recorded their first sighting of the elusive sub-political particle, the Clegg boson, otherwise known as The Sod Particle. The Clegg’s existence has been...

Ludicity 14.12.11 12:08pm
Google Street View controversy following publication of gypsy destruction

Many users of popular online stalking facility Google Street View have shown horror at the release of new digital images of the devastation caused by the participants of the TV documentary ‘Big Fat...

PReady 14.12.11 12:07pm
Mary Portas launches latest plan to get people back in High Streets, more riots! 0
Ian Searle 14.12.11 11:49am
Ian Searle
Economy Statistic Increases/Decreases more than expected

There were fresh fears of a double-dip recession today as the Bank of England revealed an alarming new statistic on the UK economy. In response, the governor of the Bank of England, Mervyn King,...

Smaug 14.12.11 10:39am
Frozen Planet Penguins Merely "Happy Feet Rejects"

The BBC were in the firing line again today after investigative reporters found that they had used actors in a recent production of Frozen Planet. Eight million viewers had been led to believe the...

PReady 14.12.11 10:19am
Derren Brown to perform normal magic tricks in "Touch of the Bald" C4 show

Not satisfied with hypnosis that drives people to Maim, steel and predict the future, Derren Brown is set to unleash his most controversial televisual extravaganza in time for 2012. In his new...

Iamthestig 14.12.11 10:10am
Pimps bemoan students’ lack of sex skills

Despite figures today showing that record numbers of students are finding work in the sex industry, leading figures within the industry have joined forces today to call for improvements in the...

ianslat 14.12.11 9:55am
Frankie Boyle and Ricky Gervais found at end of punch-line.

Kick-queue already forming...

John Ffitch-Rucker 14.12.11 9:38am
Peter Jones and Duncan Bannatyne win right to perform as ‘PJ and Duncan’

After a long legal battle two of the entrepreneurs from Dragons’ Den have acquired the exclusive rights to perform under the moniker made famous by Ant and Dec in the 90s. The ruling will see the...

dicky37 14.12.11 9:37am
UK inflation falls to only 3 times the average salary increase

and no more later...

virtuallywill 14.12.11 9:30am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Student awarded honarary BJ(Hons) by punters 0
charlies_hat 14.12.11 9:27am
Mystery bidder splashes out for pearl necklace

I thought that I was more mature than this. Clearly not., I'll be on the Naughty Chair...

tedweasel 14.12.11 9:20am
Channel 4 admits that My Big Fat Paedophile Wedding "was a bit too racey" 1
kimllfixit 14.12.11 9:07am
Universities to start offering degree programs in Mobile phone plans 0
Dumbnews 14.12.11 4:50am
Skeptics doubt claim that Canada was member of Kyoto Protocol

New claims that Canada was once a member of Kyoto Protocol have been greeted with widespread skepticism. Writing in the non-peer-reviewed journal Tin Hat Wearers Monthly, Screaming "Lord"...

DorsetBoy 14.12.11 2:36am
Cameron now worth 86 pence. 0
Boutros 14.12.11 12:57am
Jose Manuel Barroso in plea for Britons to be "more European".

David William Donald Cameron and Edward Samuel Miliband both say they are committed to the UK not being on the edge of Europe, though physically we are., However Nicholas William Peter Clegg...

virtuallywill 14.12.11 12:56am
Jonny Wilkinson retires to spend time on his new condom and shaving business 4
charlies_hat 13.12.11 11:26pm
Nick McCarr
People flock to Edinburgh Zoo to view pair of kiddies pyjama cases 0
Smart Alex 13.12.11 11:14pm
Smart Alex
Frozen Planet team forced to admit incidental music 'added in after filming'

Daily Mail angry that readers might be given the impression that large numbers of smal orchestras inhabit the polar regions...

Smart Alex 13.12.11 10:59pm
Smart Alex
Huhne: "Playing 'Billy No Mates' is not fun or effective; we Lib Dems know!" 0
MT Bucket 13.12.11 10:23pm
MT Bucket
Vicar faces jail for arranging sham marriage between Lib Dems and Tories. 0
MT Bucket 13.12.11 10:19pm
MT Bucket
Reports of Super-Black Hole forming on earth actually Eric Pickles yawning. 0
MT Bucket 13.12.11 10:15pm
MT Bucket
Readers Wives poised for christmas chart topper.

Or have I pre-ordered the wrong single?...

VictorMeldrew 13.12.11 10:14pm