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UK numbers downgraded - PM asks for calm from 9 Downing Street

In a shock announcement, All UK numbers have been downgraded. £5 notes are now £4 notes, BBC 4 is now BBC 3 and the Forth bridge has been renamed the Third bridge...

apepper 26.02.12 3:53am
Mandela stomach complaint: discharge imminent 0
25.02.12 11:01pm
Hi-speed green mode of transportation discovered, called running 0
Dumbnews 25.02.12 9:49pm
One Direction's new album will be called 'Down'.

Following One Direction's recent success, the name of their new album has been announced. It will be called 'Down'...

hippogriff 25.02.12 9:31pm
Whitney used as organ donor for Mandela - opening at Madison Square Garden

Whitney used as organ donor for Mandela - Madiba opening at Madison Square Garden on June 11. Long live Mandela!...

hippogriff 25.02.12 9:20pm
International race to bottom of ocean trench won by sack of kittens 10
25.02.12 9:03pm
Knock-on effect of RBS slump : Next season will be the last for 6 Nations Rugby.

From 2014 onwards, the RBS 6 Nations Rugby competition will be downsized to the 1 Nation., Andy Robinson, the Scotland rugby coach, was delighted with the news : "As the only competing team in the...

Gourd Almighty 25.02.12 8:27pm
Gourd Almighty
Police already investigating first scandals at the Sun on Sunday.

More dirty diggings soon...

deskpilot3 25.02.12 8:11pm
Westlife Reunion to take place inside of Giant Blender 0
paddyparkinson 25.02.12 7:25pm
Police called to M&S dine in for two coq au vin disturbance

A £10 M&S dine in for two meal ended in violence when the diners set about each other over an argument about the coq au vin. 'I thought we'd have a nice M&S dine in for two for a tenner...

roybland 25.02.12 6:27pm
"Bwarp flomm," states man who claims ability to create new words at will. 0
Haywood Manley 25.02.12 6:15pm
Haywood Manley
Battersea Dogs Home in Afghan Withdrawal

Battersea Dogs and Cats home have announced that they will no longer accept Afghan Hounds in what may be the first of several breed specific exclusions. Also excluded are "cats that look at me...

apepper 25.02.12 6:11pm
Carlos Tevez reveals evil twin at fault for recent bad behaviour

A Confused Argentina international football striker had been wondering why he was being spat on in the street and not served at his local Manchester restaurant. It then became clear to Carlos Tevez...

paddyparkinson 25.02.12 5:25pm
Scientists find out how to everything

Lead astrophysicists at Oxford University have discovered how to everything. "The team were really happy" John Gregory, lead expert on anything said "the answer was staring us in the face this whole...

Z3RO 25.02.12 5:08pm
Reading The Sunday Sun will turn you gay ! Warns Mirror. 0
MADJEZ 25.02.12 4:37pm
Yanks nuke Kabul over Superman comic burning incident 0
yussle 25.02.12 4:21pm
John Lewis business model now available from Airfix 0
medici2471 25.02.12 4:01pm
Met police hold 250 in licensing crackdown lock in 0
button 25.02.12 2:59pm
Tom Daley admits diving competitions may be getting in the way of his media work 0
Ian Searle 25.02.12 1:53pm
Ian Searle
Audi A5 smaller than A4 on paper, engineers claim.

Hat-tip to apepper...

John Ffitch-Rucker 25.02.12 1:40pm
"Church does not own marriage" - eBay lot withdrawn

The Church of England's plan to raise funds by selling the concept of marriage on eBay has been thrown into disarray by a government ruling that the church is not the registered owner of marriage...

apepper 25.02.12 1:37pm
More rating agency news. BBC downgraded to ITV.

BB King, CC Penistone, Didi Ramone, ee cummings all on 'negative outlook'. ZZ Top officially 'junk' status. Any more for any more?...

Mandy Lifeboat 25.02.12 1:19pm
Mandy Lifeboat
FA Plan Quarterly England Manager Change To Lift Team Spirit Every Three Months 0
sredni vashta 25.02.12 1:05pm
sredni vashta
Rating agency latest, AA downgraded to Greenflag

more at the roadside later...

virtuallywill 25.02.12 12:23pm
A4e criticised as "only existing on paper"

It's been disclosed that controversial company A4e was only created for tax reasons as a paper company which is held by a parent organisation called "Ring Binder"...

apepper 25.02.12 11:29am
MP's questioned after House of Commons left in a mess

It was a shocking sight. Beer cans thrown on the floor, pizza boxes left open with stale slices still in them and a huge coke stain on the Speaker of the House's chair. The House of Commons had...

paddyparkinson 25.02.12 10:33am
Sort of greeny-yellow tint to everything down to global warming say scientists

Peculiar hue caused by climate change, not by endless dicking around in Adobe After Effects to make crap look appealing as previously thought...

Haywood Manley 25.02.12 8:41am
Haywood Manley
New culinary jewellery described as pioneering 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 25.02.12 4:13am
Psycadelic Squirrel
un-retouched picture of Adele

[url=]Take a peek here[/url]...

Son of Barnabas 25.02.12 12:30am
Buddhist Monk sets himself on fire in protest of winter chill 0
paddyparkinson 24.02.12 11:58pm