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Obama mollified as BP's sponsorship deal with England squad proves helpful. 0
wallster 4 years

Can we rig it?...

England regret hiring Bruce Grobbelaar as goalkeeping coach. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

FA to investigate amid reports of strange betting patterns and a possible Pizza Hut ad offer for Robert Green...

BBC 'fesses up! 0
MTJR 4 years

The irritating noise in the background of the World Cup matches is NOT the sound of African football horns, but a swarm of angry bees accidently exported to South Africa when the BBC satalite truck...

National Lottery rollover now renamed 'Going Green' 0
Ostsee 4 years
ITV overwhelmed by sudden demand for HD coverage 0
edward hack 4 years

USA held by England...

Government denies that Sir Jock Stirrup is going because of silly name. 0
PluckyMunky 4 years
David Blunkett Standing by to be stand in England Goalkeeper 2
Mr.3374 4 years

More irritating buzzing soon...

Morgues worried about reviews as Egon Ronay visits anonymously. 1
MADJEZ 4 years
Little Chef confirms request to host Egon Ronay's funeral reception is tasteless 0
antharrison 4 years
Fitness regime be damned, I've got the body of a 15 year old, says Rose West 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years
Robert Green's handling is the envy of the world says Alistair Campbell 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

England's unelected press secretary Alistair Campbell gave his first briefing to the world's sports writers last night, and immediately went on the attack against the allegations of mishandling and...

England keeper survives suicide attempt after bus slips under his body 0
gjp 4 years
English goalkeeeper blames slip on "Hand of Devil" 0
Dumbnews 4 years
BP confident that the Green glove technique will not cap spilling misteaks... 0
moonbeam 4 years

Obama will be chequing...

Cappello learns the difference between Robert and Robson the hard way 1
Mr.3374 4 years
US team confident of winning match in the Hollywood remake. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Cameron sends gunboat to quell uppity colonials after embarrassing draw. 0
MADJEZ 4 years

The Prime Minister has dispatched a ship of the line to Maryland after todays shocking draw in the World Cup. It is hoped that the presence of the ship and it's company of Marines armed with the...

*Advert* Your old mobile phone could be worth NOTHING. Call now to find out how 0
deskpilot3 4 years

Is your mobile phone over 3 years old? Did you get it for free by saving tokens from a newspaper with a red masthead? Does it still have mechanical buttons that you actually have to click? Great...

Rooney fails Fifa pie test 0
puddle duck 4 years

Following the 1-1 draw with USA it can be revealled that Wanye Rooney has failed a mandorty Fifa pie test., Fifa officials became aroused when the England forward was seen to be moving about on the...

ITV HD viewers still waiting to see a goal.... 0
Mr.3374 4 years

More ad breaks soon...

Robert Green a firm believer in the special relationship 0
Genghis Cohen 4 years
Deal man in deal over deal; 'an ordeal over', he says. 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

Brian Switch, 42, from Deal in Kent, gets good price on wood for shed, after long search...

World Cup to be decided on number of useless goalkeepers. 0
Ostsee 4 years

Hopefully this will all end soon...

IOW denies it has Nuclear weapons 3
virtuallywill 4 years

The Council Leader of The Isle of Wight Mr. Brian Rampant has stated emphatically that there are not any Atomic weapons stored on The IOW. He has written a letter to Yukiya Amano of the International...

Americans confused by world competition where foreigners are allowed to play. 1
MADJEZ 4 years
Both P.M's emphasise the need to cut excess bureaucracy 14
virtuallywill 4 years

another one soon...

'Going Green' given entirely new meaning. More soon. 0
Ostsee 4 years
Latest: BP 1: God's favourite people 1. 0
Ostsee 4 years
Poundshop owner regrets renaming ‘All-a-Quidder’ as SAS storm building. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Cameron tells England team. 'Score lots of runs at the polo chaps !' 0
MADJEZ 4 years

Many more awkward posh blokes pretending to be into football soon...