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Catholic church regrets naming priest's new swimwear range "Peados" 4
brownpaperreporter 4 years
World Cup TV coverage cancelled after schedules clash with Big Brother live feed 0
QorbeQ 4 years

No more soon, after this one...

BP 'hopeful' that leaking oil well is nearly empty. More soon. 1
deskpilot3 4 years
Capello reveals real reason for leaving Walcott out of World Cup Squad 0
Mrblacker 4 years

The England manager Fabio Capello's explained why he decided to leave the Arsenal player Theo Walcott out of his 23 man World Cup Squad. Speaking just hours after arriving at the team's South...

Christians clinch Santa deal 8
Zadok the second 4 years

Father Christmas insists joining Christianity was always his preferred choice. In a surprise move, rumoured to be worth in excess of 4.2 million indulgences, Father Christmas has been bought by the...

Adam Crozier left fuming as his bonus cheque gets "lost" in the post. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Alan Bennett wins 'Briton's Got Lament' 0
antharrison 4 years

More soon, but, uh, you know, it might never happen, at least that's what Doris said...

Preston haberdasher hangs up beef curtains 4
PluckyMunky 4 years
Media to leave people of Whitehaven to mourn in peace. Just kidding. 0
dandare70 4 years
Sniggers silenced in Somerset council meeting, sfattys and sgingers next targets 1
QorbeQ 4 years

More political incorrectness soon...

Vatican introduces the American Express Gold Preferred credit card 0
Dumbnews 4 years

American Express announced the introduction of the Vatican Gold Preferred Credit Card, which will allow followers to receive prayer points for all credit purchases. Specifically the card will: Earn...

BA apologise for breach of privacy rules after revealing 1
andhrimnir 4 years

that Osama bin Laden is a member of their frequent flyer program...

Stranded BA passengers "praise" Human Traffickers for getting them home 1
thackaray 4 years

BA passengers stuck in far flung exotic destinations such as Thailand, Australia and Iraq, are being offered the chance to come back on BA flight 1 week later than planned or book with the local...

England in shock 3 - 0 defeat by welcoming dancers 1
Scroat 4 years

More disappointment soon...

Controversial "rural shooting" scripts for final Last of the Summer wine canned 1
simonjmr 4 years
'Take an old bag shopping in Wales' 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

and save 7p charge for plastic bags, says Wales Assembly Government...

Heart-stopping moments 'occasionally unavoidable' say cardiac surgeons 0
QorbeQ 4 years
Vince Cable in rush to be HD Ready for the digital switchover 0
Iamthestig 4 years

Probably well late to the party with this one...

Burger King to pay for all paper towels in Chip Fat Oil clean up at drive thru 0
Iamthestig 4 years

After one of the most shocking environmental incidents, fast food chain Burger King finally agreed to pay for the clean-up operation at it's Bluewater drive thru restaurant. The Chip fat oil...

Cameron to visit Whitehaven two days too late 0
simonjmr 4 years
Crossbow cannibal 'distraught' at losing No1 spot. 0
ED209 4 years

Friends and family of 'Crossbow cannibal' killer Stephen Griffiths is reported by close pals as being 'inconsolable' after losing his position as the bookies' favourite for 'Britain's got Weapons'. ...

Call for more murders following soap opera cancellation 0
jp1885 4 years

Downtrodden husbands across the UK are demanding that murderers and serial killers 'step up to the plate' after it was announced that an episode of Coronation Street had to be cancelled in the wake...

Maidenhead girl loses her virginity 9
PluckyMunky 4 years
Football widow 'regrets kicking it so hard', court hears 2
QorbeQ 4 years
Disappointment for Brazil after football team draws 'office idiot' in sweepstake 4
jp1885 4 years

The national football team of Brazil will head off to the 2010 World Cup in South Africa with heavy hearts this week, after drawing 'useless clot' Barry Davies from Accounts in the annual Zenith...

Rooney safely follows colourful trail of M&Ms from coach to training camp room 0
QorbeQ 4 years

Door locked securely. More soon...

Benson & Hedges launch ‘the cigarette’ in bid to combat nicotine addiction 3
Gary Stanton 4 years

Hailed as the best hope yet of helping smokers overcome their addiction to the life-enhancing drug nicotine, Benson & Hedges have announced the official launch of their innovative ‘cigarette’...

Horoscopes by Geoff Futuremind 3
Svendo 4 years

Herpes(01 june - 07 July) - You will find yourself out of crunchy nut cornflakes. You have got normal conrflakes but they arent quite as good. A man named Dave will present you with a lovely gift...

Over Zealous Football Dad lands in hot water 2
suki 4 years

A raucous father who admitted that he ‘kicks every ball’ whilst watching his 7-year old son play football for the ‘Magpies’ in the junior Maidenhead league, has landed himself in hot water. ...

Professor Stephen Hawking to open world’s first man-made black hole 1
Ludicity 4 years

The world’s first artificially created black hole will be opened next week in the Surrey town of Haslemere by physicist Professor Stephen Hawking. ‘I predict that this hole will become a major...