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Kent County Council and Amazon boss to launch Satellite Grammar School

Amazon chief Jeff Bezos has apparently approached Kent County Council with an out of this world offer. He plans to use his recently acquired Apollo 11 booster rockets to place the newly agreed...

3zincold 29.03.12 10:25pm
Computer Programmer of the Year delivers acceptance speech in binary

01001101 01101111 01110010 01100101 01110011 01101111 01101111 01101110...

grumblechops 29.03.12 10:03pm
School at centre of balcony fall row praised for accuracy of risk assessment

Fairfield High in Bristol today received plaudits for the accuracy of its overall risk assessment after it was revealed a pupil had been hospitalised after falling six stories from a stairwell...

grumblechops 29.03.12 10:00pm
Lord Coe denies 'stockpiling' fuel for Olympic flame 0
Underconstruction 29.03.12 9:40pm
Tanker drivers agree to perform RAF roles as fears of air attack intensify

Beleaguered RAF commanders have admitted that Esso fuel tanker drivers are being used as a stopgap to fill in for those staff, temporarily mustered to prevent a fuel delivery crisis across the nation...

Underconstruction 29.03.12 9:11pm
Captain Scott diary entry reveals how he regrets not taking more frozen food

Newly released extracts from the final diary of legendary British explorer Captain Scott have revealed how the explorer questioned the decision not to carry more frozen foodstuffs on his ill-fated...

Underconstruction 29.03.12 8:51pm
Tom Annoyed that Jerry is described as a can

A source at the Disney Studios in California has commented that Tom is extremely unhappy about Jerry being described as a can...

GillsImp 29.03.12 7:41pm
Express combines its to most popular topics, the EU and weather, to save space.

EU SCIENTISTS IN PLOT TO TEACH BRITAIN A LESSON, The Daily Express can today reveal that the extreme weather conditions which Britain has faced this year may well have been deliberately engineered...

stevebrdfd 29.03.12 7:40pm
QPR Owner buys Mark Hughes Expensive Lighter

QPR owner has bought Mark Hughes a lighter as a gift. Apparently he keeps losing his matches...

GillsImp 29.03.12 7:17pm
Cameron admits to panic buying a fool. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 29.03.12 7:11pm
Al OPecia
The economy: Panic merchants defy recession 0
weematt 29.03.12 6:48pm
Post Office admits confusion after government announced Stamp Duty rise. 5
bonjonelson 29.03.12 6:12pm
MOD "We don't have enough soldiers to fill all our tanks." 0
weematt 29.03.12 6:12pm
Prime Minister fuels panic. 0
MADJEZ 29.03.12 6:09pm
A man in Dorset revealed he used to be Indecisive

He's not not so sure now...

GillsImp 29.03.12 5:59pm
Gerry McCann avoiding forecourts after panic filling incident 2
cinquecento 29.03.12 5:59pm
Upper Crust Pies From Fortnum and Mason

Fortnum and Mason's are to launch a range of Upper Crust Pies . This follows hot (with added VAT) on the successful product placement in most newpapers by David Cameron " Once the PM was seen with...

Otis B Driftwood 29.03.12 5:55pm
Tories beg tanker drivers "please strke asap" and get us out of this awful hole

In a few short hours the conservatives created strike conditions from a totally strike free situation,a bumbling maude wittering about jerrycans advising everyone to break the law and turn the garage...

29.03.12 5:50pm
Ed Miliband attempts 'record breaking' publicity stunt.

In his latest attempt to appear in touch with the ‘common man’, Ed Miliband has unveiled his latest daring publicity stunt. The stunt is the biggest attempt at a dangerous feat since Ed Balls...

Perks 29.03.12 5:46pm
Countdown lexicographer sacked after refusing to define ‘esoteric’

Countdown’s long-standing lexicographer Susie Dent was today given her marching orders after refusing to explain the meaning of the word ‘esoteric’ during yesterday’s show. Reigning champion...

grumblechops 29.03.12 5:44pm
Cameron insists he's familiar with 'corniche parsties'

David Cameron has fought back against claims he’s out of touch with the common man, by insisting his most recent 'parsty' was ‘delicious, and packed full of nutritious swan meat’. Cameron was...

29.03.12 5:40pm
Garages run out of 'brown paper bags' as panic buyers start hyperventilating 3
Perks 29.03.12 5:38pm
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar...... it was tense 5
grumblechops 29.03.12 4:55pm
Cabinet Ministers "better at causing disruption" striking tanker drivers concede

Tanker drivers have called off their proposed strike amid fears that any disruption they could cause would pale into insignificance alongside the chaos that cabinet ministers have created with a few...

bonjonelson 29.03.12 4:54pm
UK - Rumours of ham and egg shortage causing panic frying. 2
weematt 29.03.12 4:52pm
Seabird population under threat due to panic buying of petrels

Hat tip to dragonman...

Smart Alex 29.03.12 4:51pm
Petrol station representative denies media reports of mass 'picnic buying'

"There are ample supplies of barbeques, brickettes, sandwiches, baguettes, Ginsters Pasties, Mr Kipling cakes, blankets, hampers and bottles of chilled Liebfraumilch." said the spokesman. "I don't...

pinxit 29.03.12 4:48pm
HMRC announcement of cold case review of hot food tax dodges gets tepid response

or something like that...

Underconstruction 29.03.12 4:29pm
Buy milk now! Cows consider possibly giving 7 day warning that they might strike 1
Mr_Johno 29.03.12 4:22pm
Tory donors face paying VAT on hot meals with Cameron 0
cinquecento 29.03.12 4:21pm