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Man finds himself in self-storage unit 2
beau-jolly 02.09.11 2:01pm
Non ce our fault say L’Oreal

The makers of L’Oreal anti-ageing beauty cream have recalled all remaining stocks from the shelves after some users of the product complained they had become targets for paedophiles and child sex...

Gerontius 02.09.11 1:53pm
Concern over salt levels in salt

Following revelations that many popular foods such as bread contain too much sodium, scientists have discovered that a popular household food - salt - actually contains levels of salt well in excess...

rickwestwell 02.09.11 1:46pm
Study says endlessly repeating the phrase 'engaging content' isn't very engaging 0
ronseal 02.09.11 1:43pm
Encourage looters to stay indoors all day by making them police says Think Tak

The best way to make young men stay indoors all day not getting involved in any trouble is to give them a job in the police force, says a new report from Zeitgeist Think Tank. Zeitgeist researchers...

ronseal 02.09.11 1:31pm
Genghis Cohen
e.e.cummings grandson banned from internet writer's forum.

g.g.cummings, grandson of e.e.cummings, has again been suspended from an internet writer's forum. His 'work' has continually been rejected because of it's odd typography, erratic punctuation and...

rebel not taken 02.09.11 11:16am
German holiday industry in panic after leading towel manufacturer goes bust 0
brownpaperreporter 02.09.11 7:54am
New Torchwood scripts to be titled Doctor Who in hope to generate interest 0
simonjmr 02.09.11 6:50am
Oprah to send millions of self-help books to starving Somalians 0
Dumbnews 02.09.11 5:30am
Mel Gibson now gets what women want, designer handbags 0
Dumbnews 02.09.11 2:22am
From Refried Beans to Used Bog Roll

Witness this, a common scene in the Mexican cantina – a man suddenly convulses and spews his food all over the terracotta tiling. ‘Jesus! Jesus! What’s wrong?’ asks his concerned wife....

Glib Hemingway 01.09.11 11:33pm
FTSE in turmoil as stock market dice "misplaced". More soon. 1
Al OPecia 01.09.11 11:25pm
Mussolini's lost uniform found in Gaddafi's bedroom. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 01.09.11 7:44pm
Al OPecia
Gadiffi: We Fight On To The Last Drop Of Your Blood

"we will fight to the end," said Colonel Gadaffi speaking from his luxury bunker just outside Harare. " Rise up and cleanse Tripoli of the rats, and let me know how it went but don't 'phone after...

Wheelright 01.09.11 7:09pm
Dying man regrets having so many regrets 2
Dumbnews 01.09.11 5:56pm
The Great Dorset Pikey-fest gets off to a flying start

As the annual Great Dorset Pikey-fest gets underway, organisers are already hailing this year as the most successful ever., Up to a fortnight prior to the gates opening, roads around the area were...

beau-jolly 01.09.11 5:14pm
Fractious Twins Snatched And Taken Into Care By Hertfordshire Social Services

Fears are growing over the whereabouts of twin Irish imps, John and Edward Grimes, after they were sensationally snatched from a house in Boreham Wood, Herts, earlier this morning by Hertfordshire...

Duff 01.09.11 5:07pm
Libya launches new book series "Where's Gaddafi?". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 01.09.11 5:06pm
Al OPecia
Daily Mail celebrates greatest doublethink yet.

Editors, journalists and staff at the Daily Mail were celebrating today, as Editor-in-chief Paul Dacre showed off the quality of doublethink now available at the paper. "Simultaneously calling for...

aug24 01.09.11 4:31pm
Cider visors: “The new beer goggles”

The difference between a dog and a fox? 7 pints. Oh, how we laughed all those years ago...

beau-jolly 01.09.11 3:52pm
Paolo Di Canio blames ex QPR striker for defeat of Fascism in Swindon.

Swindon Town manager Paolo Di Canio has launched a scathing political attack on centre forward Leon Clarke after their Carling Cup defeat by Southampton. The striker, who was recently 'released' by...

rebel not taken 01.09.11 3:19pm
rebel not taken
The Future's Orange All Right For Dickinson As 'Duke' Signs Real Deal

Antiques expert and ex-con, David (The Duke) Dickinson, has signed a lucrative sponsorship deal and and is to become the new face of creosote manufacturer, Ronseal, in a soon to be rolled-out...

Duff 01.09.11 3:18pm
Gaddafi caught by charity volunteer with clipboard

Reports just in from Tripoli suggest that fugitive warlord, and occasional drag queen, Colonel Gaddafi has finally been apprehended. It seems that a volunteer for a well known charity trapped Gaddafi...

Psycadelic Squirrel 01.09.11 2:46pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Manufacturers ready production lines for 59W lightbulbs 2
bonjonelson 01.09.11 12:12pm
Sweet smell of success for Portaloo campaigners

A Glastonbury Portaloo toilet cabin thought to have been used by some of the world’s leading rock stars has been saved from demolition following a successful on-line campaign by public toilet...

Gerontius 01.09.11 11:56am
Mikel Arteta manages to dot the I and cross 2 T's by 11.00pm deadline

The transfer of Mikel Arteta from Everton to Arsenal was on a knife edge right up to the 11.00pm deadline. "The clubs had agreed a fee, the agents bungs were paid, the players net salary and image...

grottymonty 01.09.11 11:28am
National Union of Moths to strike over 60w lightbulb cuts. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 01.09.11 9:10am
Crouchy and Woody to revive old nightclub act in Stoke-on-Trent 0
Drylaw 01.09.11 8:28am
LSE to offer degree course in Greekonomics. 0
Griffin 01.09.11 7:23am
Concerns over Carbon Offsetting as forest envelops Brixton

It is thought an area the size of Wales is turning into forest every three days...

gaijintendo 01.09.11 7:21am