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Volvo fears irreparable brand damage after Brown-Blair feud revelations 1
Duncan Biscuit 11.06.11 11:47am
FraserWords
Giggs 'wrecking image of sheep-loving Welsh'

Football love rat Ryan Giggs is tarnishing the image of his native Wales, said campaigners yesterday., MP Ron Bonkers fumed: “We’ve spent decades carefully building up a comedy image of Welsh...

6
FraserWords 11.06.11 11:40am
FraserWords
Tories To Launch New Home Heating Policy For Pensioners And Low Earners.....

.A box of matches. "And make them last all winter! OK?"...

0
Jesse Bigg 11.06.11 11:33am
Jesse Bigg
Archbishop of Canterbury attacks Arsène Wenger for lack of "killer touch"

Dr Rowan Williams, no stranger to controversy, has attacked Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger for his overuse of foreign players and lack of "killer touch". Wenger played down claims that the...

3
pthr 11.06.11 10:38am
JonnyJP
Labour plotters could u more terror strikes as cover for next bout of infighting

A crack team of spin doctors and smear merchants is understood to have landed in Westminster and gone underground, ready to spring into action on the date of the next terror atrocity. These elite...

0
ronseal 11.06.11 10:31am
ronseal
UK film censors ban The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Following their ban on The Human Centipede 2, the British Board of Film Classification have now refused a certificate to The Very Hungry Caterpillar, due to what they describe as ‘shocking images...

15
Ludicity 11.06.11 10:13am
pthr
Beelzebub furious at Church of England over "Cassock lifters"

Beelzebub was quoted as "not being amused" at the ordination of gay bishops within the Church of England. While rotating his head and performing huge projectile vomits he growled "That Runcie needs...

1
arnied 11.06.11 8:33am
JohnA
Roxette release updated 80's hit, "She had the look" 0
Dumbnews 10.06.11 11:52pm
Dumbnews
Error by Utah school board means Salt Lake City kids to study Norman Wisdom. 2
dominic_mcg 10.06.11 10:59pm
doggone
Blair: "Brown used Balls to put pressure on me" 2
pthr 10.06.11 9:47pm
JonnyJP
Gove expects to be cleared of Balls leak, blames spilled drink 0
pthr 10.06.11 8:57pm
pthr
BBC ageism row: 'Philip's age blatantly discussed during interview'

Fiona Bruce was facing disciplinary action last night, after allegedly breaking new 'ageism' rules. The 'Default Retirement Age' was phased out in April this year. But that didn't prevent Ms Bruce...

3
10.06.11 7:23pm
Qoxiivi
Celebrity Scrapheap Challenge to Rebuild Celebreties

Channel four have announced a series of “Celebrity Scrapheap Challenge” shows in which two teams of PR experts, plastic surgeons, and makeup artists will be let loose on “The scrap yard of...

0
Quaz 10.06.11 7:23pm
Quaz
Drought notices for East Anglia. Drowt notices for Norfolk 2
10.06.11 7:17pm
Prince Philip shows off birthday suit, Queen not amused. 1
DiY 10.06.11 5:56pm
mr blue
Palin emails: number of chimps needed to type Shakespeare revised down

I done loved the gun you brunged me, it shoots bears real swell...

0
10.06.11 5:46pm
Balls denies siding with a cock to fuck an arsehole.

More Team America:World Police soon...

3
SingingHinny 10.06.11 4:45pm
SingingHinny
Stephen Fry bemused at reaction to his renaming Dam Buster dog 'Spit' 0
pinxit 10.06.11 4:38pm
pinxit
Chief Druid slams ‘unelected coalition’ of the Holy Trinity

Britain’s self-styled Chief Druid, Arthur Pendragon today criticised what he called the unelected coalition of the Holy Trinity. Speaking from his Stonehenge HQ he said that the human race was...

0
Des and Stan 10.06.11 3:18pm
Des and Stan
Distraught Katie Price says her breast-reduction op has gone 'tits up' 1
pinxit 10.06.11 2:59pm
DiY
Facebook recognition software discovers Lord Lucan

90% of dissolute aristocrats with massive gambling debts and who have have murdered one of the staff before buggering orf to South Africa won’t post this as their status...

1
jp1885 10.06.11 2:58pm
DiY
. 2
10.06.11 2:57pm
DrTurmoil
Ofqual: Only 17% of exam papers have misstakes; the other 86% is fine 0
John Wiltshire 10.06.11 2:15pm
John Wiltshire
Ryanair denies transparency over cost of a ticket

Michael O’Leary, chief executive of Ryanair has emphatically denied that the airline has started to make its online charges “less frightening” for customers following investigations by the...

0
Dick Everyman 10.06.11 1:58pm
Dick Everyman
Dress like Prince Philip and say what you bloody like, says costume inventor

A new Prince Philip fancy dress costume, that gives the wearer the power to say what the hell they like, has become the UK's best selling fashion item. [HAVEN'T GOT THE TIME TO FINISH THIS. PERHAPS...

1
ronseal 10.06.11 1:49pm
rikkor
Outcry as alphabet reordered 'to reflect demands of 21st Century'

The Government is to re-order the letters of the alphabet to reflect modern usage, in a plan which has caused outrage among teachers, parents, and men with carefully ordered CD and DVD collections....

21
DrTurmoil 10.06.11 12:07pm
JonnyJP
Rapture 'will still go ahead' after Listening Exercise, insists God

God has confirmed that plans for the Rapture and the End Times are still going ahead despite the launch of a Listening Exercise this week to consult on the changes. “We recognise that there are...

2
The Paper Ostrich 10.06.11 12:00pm
Genghis Cohen
Dambusters dog to be renamed Digger for remake of iconic film...

because N-word might offend Americans. Australians now going to sue Stephen Fry...

0
DiY 10.06.11 11:55am
DiY
Ken Clarke to introduce prisoner Nectar points

Justice Secretary Ken Clarke has announced that plans to reduce prison sentences by up to 50% will be abandoned in favour of a new system of HMP Nectar points. Under the scheme those who...

7
Ludicity 10.06.11 11:46am
Ludicity
Prince Philip says he’ll “slow down” at 90, adding “but gradually, unlike Diana”

More soon Another possible execution: Prince Philip says he’ll "slow down" at 90, adding; "unlike Henri Paul"...

4
Qoxiivi 10.06.11 10:55am
Mr Payne