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Pricks from Slough branch leave bitter taste in Blackberry crumble

‘RIM can kiss my arse’ say smartphone users, Blackberry inundated with letters of complaint...

Gerontius 11.10.11 6:55am
Covent Garden Hen Party warned not to goose Peter Hichens

Revellers who choose to let their hair down in Covent Garden have been warned that Peter Hitchens, who has been spotted in the area, may not see the funny side of being goosed. One man, who saw the...

ronseal 10.10.11 10:42pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Abominable snowman discovery sparks fears he'll seek asylum and jump house queue

A story in the Daily Mail that the Abominable Snowman is about to be unveiled has provoked a furious reader response, with letter writers complaining he will seek asylum, jump to the head of the...

ronseal 10.10.11 10:33pm
Cameron urges crackdown on visitors to MoD

Prime Minister David Cameron has announced a crackdown on unauthorized visitors to the Ministry of Defence.,  , He said he wants 'everyone in the country' to 'help reclaim our Minstry of Defence...

roybland 10.10.11 10:10pm
Psychic Sally claims she heard voices transmitted to device in her right ear

The woman who says she is 'Britain's best-loved psychic' has made the incredible claim that she can hear messages transmitted to an earpiece in her right ear.,  , Sally Morgan has threatened legal...

roybland 10.10.11 9:26pm
BBC animator drops major clanger

A Small Blue Planet meeting erupted as news emerged that Oliver Postgate has dropped certain clangers from Enter the Soup Dragon, the forthcoming movie based on his tv series. 'Some clangers don't...

vertical 10.10.11 7:31pm
Cuppa and a nice sit down latest wonder cure, doctor reveals

A Wymondham GP claims to have stumbled on a simple wonder cure against most common ailments. Dr Jolyon Fletcher takes up the story: ‘I’d been shopping with my wife, Marigold, and got home...

Clarky 10.10.11 6:49pm
The more he dug, the deeper into the hole the not-so-Fantastic Dr Fox sank

With apologies to R Dahl...

Clarky 10.10.11 6:47pm
Aled Jones secures sponsorship deal with Pukka Pies. More soon.

Dancing in the Air may prove "problematical"...

Al OPecia 10.10.11 6:13pm
Al OPecia
NZ government admit oil spill was supposed to coincide with All Blacks Cup exit

no doubt more spilt soon...

brownpaperreporter 10.10.11 5:21pm
New Zealand dwarves deny throwing Tuilagi overboard in revenge attack 1
Midfield Diamond 10.10.11 4:33pm
custard cream
PCSO arrested for impersonating a police officer 0
Perks 10.10.11 4:19pm
Company to sue New Zealand for "damaging oil"

The owner of the Cargo ship [i]Rena [/i]is to sue New Zealand for recompense for the damage caused to it's ship and fuel oil. "First of all, New Zealand has pointy rocks all around it which are an...

apepper 10.10.11 3:56pm
Bell-end to open Olympics

Peter Smallings generally acknowledged by his peers as an insufferable bellend has been picked to open the 2012 London Olympics. "Mr Smallings (43) is an insufferable oafish bore, who will recount...

simonjmr 10.10.11 3:49pm
Blackberry Jam

[not original, borrowed from a BBC subscriber]...

Sinnick 10.10.11 3:48pm
Paris road tunnel to finally adopt 'no photography' policy, 14 years too late

A spokesperson for the Pont de l'Alma road tunnel in Paris said it wanted to "maintain a safe and enjoyable environment" for road users. More soon...

simonjmr 10.10.11 3:42pm
Major Disruption

Analysis of the public vote for last weekend's Strictly Come Dancing have shown that over two million calls were received from just one telephone number, spreading votes evenly between 13 of the 14...

medici2471 10.10.11 3:08pm
England pay for French hooker's superior technique.

Endland's Rugby World Cup came to an abrupt...

spoole2112 10.10.11 2:37pm
Dr. Who : 'still more questions than answers' say boffins

Research scientists working on the recent Dr.Who series say they are no nearer being able to explain what was going on over the twelve episodes than when they first started., Despite months pouring...

Gerontius 10.10.11 2:34pm
Cameron's 'Bring a Friend to Cabinet Day' ruined.

The Prime Minister's plan to invite casual acquaintences of elected officials to join in the decision making process at the highest level was left in tatters today when no-one could be found who...

spoole2112 10.10.11 2:12pm
Liberation of final stronghold 'a dead Sirte' say NTC commanders 3
SpankyMonkey 10.10.11 1:35pm
Self-employed look forward to annual one hour holiday

just me then?...

beau-jolly 10.10.11 1:17pm
Come Dine With Me voiceover to I Have A Dream speech 'was a mistake'

US Civil Rights leaders have admitted that in retrospect, they would not have invited comedy actor Dave Lamb to supply a series of camp and sarcastic put-downs during Dr Martin Luther King's recent...

Oxbridge 10.10.11 12:55pm
Tuilagi admits he was ready for arrest.

More later...

spoole2112 10.10.11 11:51am
Palestine Demands Own Idol Franchise 1
Textbook 10.10.11 11:40am
John Ffitch-Rucker
McCartney Marries Jake the Peg to "Annoy Heather Mills"

Former Beatle, Paul McCartney has had a same sex marriage with Jake the Peg (with his extra leg). This is widely seen as a deliberate snipe against former wife Heather Mills...

apepper 10.10.11 11:39am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Apple advertise Jobs vacancy 0
button 10.10.11 11:18am
'Cocksey Foxy' to use same legal team as 'Foxy Knoxy'

He's sure to get off...

Ian Searle 10.10.11 11:11am
Ian Searle
Manu Misunderstands Agent's Advice to Jump from a Sinking Ship 0
medici2471 10.10.11 10:43am
Dr Fox's friendship gives pious lefties rare license for righteous homophobia 0
ronseal 10.10.11 10:42am