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Exposed Hunt flaps under pressure 0
Mandy Lifeboat 24.04.12 9:03pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Planned Amazon funeral service is heaven for some, hell for others

Amazon boss Jeff Bezos is quietly confident new plans for an Amazon funeral service will further boost their collosal profits. Speaking at a press conference today Mr Bezos said: "we've been looking...

Mandy Lifeboat 24.04.12 8:47pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Chelsea fans in Barcelona "probably just heading to bed now" 0
grumblechops 24.04.12 8:43pm
Comedians stockpile Jeremy Hunt jokes

Comedy writers have started to panic over the possible departure of Jeremy Hunt from the government. "Jeremy Hunt is half my act.", explained one writer who wished he wasn't so anonymous. "Now I've...

apepper 24.04.12 8:27pm
Bumble Bee applies to Europe after being accused of breaking Laws of Physics 0
Ian Searle 24.04.12 8:11pm
Ian Searle
Nicholas Parsons left powerless as Tories cut benefit of doubt 6
button 24.04.12 7:55pm
Ed Miliband Calls for James Murdock to Resign

.. he has already ! .. (Miliband)good somebody is listening to me at last...

HenryMJUK 24.04.12 7:40pm
Quantum physicists explain before Wimbledon, Murray is both British AND Scottish 5
bonjonelson 24.04.12 7:06pm
'Wife's voice' option to be available on TomTom's new 'Sat Nag' 4
Haywood Manley 24.04.12 5:51pm
Man wakes to find new Tesco in right ear

Stephen Bath, a 44 year old Office Manager from Watford was astonished to find that a Tesco Metro Store had opened for business in his ear canal. After waking from a deep sleep suddenly by the sound...

Rizzo 24.04.12 5:49pm
Old man reminisces the time when ugly things today were cool 0
Dumbnews 24.04.12 5:35pm
BAFTA’s; No Sherlock? Shit! 0
Thor 24.04.12 5:34pm
James Naughtie dreading tomorrow's top news item. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 24.04.12 5:07pm
Al OPecia
French election version of "Question time" to be titled "je ne sais quoi"

more who knows when...

Scronnyglonkle 24.04.12 5:03pm
Garth Crooks an "outstanding candidate" for England job, says FA chairman

The Football Association today dismissed criticism of its efforts to pick a new manager of the English national team, insisting an appointment would be made by “2020 at the latest”., FA chairman...

clicktingstampz 24.04.12 4:49pm
New lavatory endurance record set by boy with games console

An 11-year old boy has beaten the previous record for sitting on a toilet after spending an entire weekend in the smallest room. Grabbing his Nintendo DS, Jack Connolly announced that he was...

Midfield Diamond 24.04.12 4:01pm
Barcelona 'still haven't given the ball back' claims furious Abramovitch

'They still refused to let us have the ball even after the match', fumed the multi-millionaire, 'although to be fair we did give them a bit of a head start; their coach was in the car park ready as...

Screenie 24.04.12 3:41pm
Historians look for previous example of short-arse French leader tasting defeat 2
Mandy Lifeboat 24.04.12 3:36pm
Billionaires join forces to mine haemorrhoids

A group of high profile billionaires, including film director and bottom plunger James Cameron and Google's chief executive Larry “Nobby” Page, have formed a company to mine haemorrhoids., Using...

beau-jolly 24.04.12 3:15pm
CCTV catches Jeremy Hunt jumping up and down on Chinese pavement 0
Screenie 24.04.12 3:14pm
Amazon apoligises over mixed up order for 2 baskets

Adding a basket to the basket can cause confusion, as Mrs T discovered., "These Rush Baskets are very nice, but I got a bit Hampered by the terminology of the ordering dept., I needed to order 2...

Rowly 24.04.12 3:05pm
Nails UK
Alan Turing papers released by GCHQ show doodles of apples, flowers, and Hitler 4
Nails UK 24.04.12 2:33pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Plans for Ackroyd mining annouced in South Yorkshire 0
Scronnyglonkle 24.04.12 2:29pm
Shakespeare recognised by digital marketing guru for his 'compelling content'

The birthday of one of Britain's greatest writers of 'compelling content' has been marked by Tim Crowley, Britain's leading digital marketing creative. "I've no doubt that is Shakespeare was alive...

ronseal 24.04.12 2:25pm
Weather "unusually average" claims met office

The UK is undergoing a record breaking spell of typical weather; "The weather hasn't been this typical since 1934, and that was unusually usual.", explained a met office spokesman...

apepper 24.04.12 2:24pm
Chelsea furious after UEFA blocks bid to park bus in front of goal at Barca

CHELSEA boss Roberto Di Matteo has blasted UEFA for blocking his side's bid to park a bus in front of their goal ahead of tonight's Champions League clash with Barcelona at the Nou Camp., Chelsea...

clicktingstampz 24.04.12 2:20pm
South Yorkshire villiage of Jump seeks link with Area 51 USA and Somerset Street

Following closely behind Perthshires Dull's attempts to twin with Boring in Oregon. Mike Cuthbert of Jump hopes that once the twinning has gone ahead the impoverised mining village can take...

simonjmr 24.04.12 2:01pm
French voters enter final fortnight of Bruni-Sarkozy marriage

The latest opinion polls in France have shown that Carla Bruni's marriage to struggling president Nicolas Sarkozy may have as little as two weeks left before the start of divorce proceedings. Just...

The Paper Ostrich 24.04.12 1:49pm
The Paper Ostrich
Russell Brand called, as public die of boredom at Leveson Inquiry 0
nostra da mouse 24.04.12 1:42pm
nostra da mouse
Home Secretary deports “fanatical” Abu Qatada to Geordieland

Home Secretary Theresa May yesterday confirmed that fanatical Muslim cleric Abu Qatada has been deported to Newcastle. The move happened on Tuesday last week, with immigration officials whisking Mr...

Yikes 24.04.12 1:26pm
Midfield Diamond