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Tory conference agenda upsets Clegg as he's not included on it. 0
Basil_B 4 years
Stonehenge to be relocated to the Isle of Man to allow druid tax breaks 0
Basil_B 4 years
Beckham castrated to stem flow of accusations 1
SingingHinny 4 years

David Beckham has had his penis and testicles removed to prevent any new accusations of philandering. The celebrated footballer has been plagued by stories of extra marital affairs during his...

Planet in goldilocks zone of the universe cannot sustain life say three bears 0
Basil_B 4 years

'Some barstard has been in and taken it all while we were out ' said Daddy bear spokesman for the bears ' i'd forget any hopes of colonising this planet because some so and so has had away with...

Governement proposals to curb the excesses of the health and safety culture 0
Basil_B 4 years

delayed due to required risk assessment to be carried out on them...

Speed camera to be replaced with he's paid too much, lets tax him more camera 4
Basil_B 4 years

Home secretary Theresa May and Chancellor George Osbourne met today over a revolutionary new plan to revamp speed cameras into something that will assess the wealth of the driver when handing out the...

Sales of fisting gloves soar as Catholic Schools uphold repeal of No Touch law 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Compensation shake-up set to save NHS millions 0
hero2zero 4 years

So they cut the wrong leg off, look on the bright side, now you can have two false legs, why would you want compensation?...

Microsoft's share of search market doubles from 1% to 2% 0
Dumbnews 4 years
The Brazilian Government strongly denies it is sponsoring the Real IRA 0
arrghgarry 4 years

mas or menos...

Montgomerie Unhappy as Press Continually Ask the Whereabouts of his Personality 2
IABP 4 years

[Fore soon] The less than jovial Scot, who has more injunctions than Majors, blamed the loss of his personality on a mobile phone going off in the press room...

Hugh Dennis has a "faux pas" when doing voice over ..... 0
thackaray 4 years

.. for Germany's annoucement of end to it's WWI reparation payments. "How you being paying too much for your car insurance?" More soon...

Arundells to become a grocer's shop 0
roybland 4 years

Arundells, the home of former prime minister Sir Edward Heath, is to be a grocer's shop after its trustees decided the house was no longer financially viable as a visitor attraction. 'Arundells has...

Liam Fox concedes we need Trident "because I can't get a hard-on without it". 0
the coarse whisperer 4 years
Chinese rocket to put the Moon on Street View 0
Sinnick 4 years

Chinese scientists have today launched a rocket towards the Moon. The payload is secret, but our reporters have discovered that it comprises a large white van with a camera on top. The project...

Scientists find habitable, earth-like region, wtihin 20 miles of Birmingham, 0
bonjonelson 4 years
Beckham fucks prostitutes 0
bonjonelson 4 years

says a Liar (reports The Sun)...

"Specsavers was shut," admits Mrs Kim Jong-il 0
allmyownstunts 4 years
Isle of Wight to get HD Ceefax 0
roybland 4 years
Curtis still determined to divorce sixth wife 0
roybland 4 years
Moat resumes rampage 0
roybland 4 years
‘BMW recall is proof enough for me’ admits Dawkins 0
Nobby Holder 4 years

and me too...

‘Flagship’ school hijacked by pirates 2
dicky37 4 years

In a disastrous start to its first term, Wolverhampton’s flagship Academy School has been taken over by a band of Somali pirates, and is en route to the Gulf of Aden. Pirates boarded the £300M...

Real IRA re-considering its position after Ireland declared 'crap' 3
red 4 years

The dissident Irish Republican movement, the Real IRA, has announced an immediate end to all terrorist activities after an army council meeting failed to come up with an answer to its own question of...

Surreal IRA planning winter campaign of significant bewilderment, claim MI5 4
bonjonelson 4 years

more sooooon...

Tyneside Fashion Designers Launch Their New Range of 'Scanty-wear' 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

For upcoming Winter...

International cyclists to be tested for Viagra-use 2
hero2zero 4 years

In an attempt to “Clean-up” the image of Lycra-clad international cyclists, testing for Viagra is to be introduced for the coming season. One official told us how the current image tended to make...

'Tory Cuts Getting Out of Hand,' Says One Critic 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

As some Tory MP's demand modified bus shelters as a substitute for social housing...

New social media fails to catch on, called talking 4
Dumbnews 4 years
Research into female libido loss 'a headache' say scientists 0
roybland 4 years