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Lance Armstrong sentenced to death for eating healthily

Confesses to eating fruit, vegetables and salad regularly. Oprah ‘horrified’...

Reg Herring 18.01.13 12:39pm
Reg Herring
Satire website found to contain 30% Seabiscuit 8
pinxit 18.01.13 12:36pm
Dreamliner batteries to be marketed as chemical weapons

In a controversial change of marketing strategy, the batteries that have caused Boeing’s 787 Dreamliner fleet to be grounded are being offered to power-crazed despots and terrorist organisations as...

Midfield Diamond 18.01.13 12:34pm
Midfield Diamond
"Check on neighbours in cold weather" urges Minister

Newly appointed Minister for the Elderly, Quentin Forsdyke, today issued a plea to people in remote areas to check on their older neighbours. As swaths of Britain became blanketed in up to 30cm of...

Son of Barnabas 18.01.13 12:29pm
custard cream
UKIP Demands Restoration of Proper Imperial Snow, supplied in Inches ...

not that lightweight metric rubish, only available in millimetres...

Titus 18.01.13 12:25pm
'Crane driver should have been at work' says boss

A crane driver who admitted he was lucky to be alive after oversleeping on the morning his crane was hit by a helicopter has been sacked., Managing director Eddie Cribbs from building firm...

Gerontius 18.01.13 12:19pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
***New Scandal*** Fairy liquid found to have traces of goblin in it 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 18.01.13 12:15pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Lance Armstrong admits Pfizer sponsorship was a mistake 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.01.13 12:08pm
Peroxide attack update; 3 dyed 3
One Line Only 18.01.13 11:51am
Midnight Dreary
Armstrong denies injecting tyres with EPO 0
custard cream 18.01.13 11:40am
custard cream
Boeing Boeing ....gone

Boeing say a new service aimed at their less safety conscious passengers could be up and running as early as the weekend., Guy Francis said that Boeing’s Flatliner – their budget ‘wing and a...

Gerontius 18.01.13 11:37am
'Armstrong is lying' claims Oprah

Chat show host Oprah Winfrey has said she thought Lance Armstrong was lying when he claimed to have taken performance enhancing drugs to help him win the Tour de France., Armstrong confessed live on...

Gerontius 18.01.13 11:37am
custard cream
Amateur Australian prospector unearths a piece of chicken in a McNugget.

At least it's not a horse gag!...

Ian Searle 18.01.13 10:52am
Dick Everyman
"NHS readies itself" for expected jump in CHD 'Crazy Horse Disease' 0
Falouan 18.01.13 10:47am
Supermarkets accused of flogging dead horses in UK ‘neigh’bourhoods

Latest ‘Bull’etin: Horse’s tail found in Oxtail Soup. Cowboy suppliers blamed for millions of schoolboy jokes by silly burgers horsing around. Reports of intense competition for weakest pun...

Reg Herring 18.01.13 10:39am
Reg Herring
Brucie admits to wearing performance enhancing rugs 2
antharrison 18.01.13 10:36am
Horse Burgers now replaced by "Quarter-Pandas".

Grabs coat and starts running...

seymour totti 18.01.13 10:32am
In congress Prince Charles in Chaos

The US, magazine, 'Vanity Fair', have conducted an interview, with Prince Charles, during which, Prince Charles, audaciously tried to promote his 'Green Manifesto': 'Harmony: A New Way Of Looking...

Kazytc 18.01.13 10:24am
The All New Jeni B
Snow Falls in Isle of Wight - UK Isolated 1
Titus 18.01.13 10:08am
Son of Barnabas
UK covered by contents of Lance Armstrong's gym bag 2
One Line Only 18.01.13 10:00am
Psycadelic Squirrel
News Coverage of Potential Bad Weather Brings Nation to Standstill

I haven't actually seen any news/weather warnings about the snow yet: but it feels liked have because of so many people talking about them on social media. People in Scotland have been saying things...

house78 18.01.13 9:59am
Son of Barnabas
Government declares,"71% of election promises are 'bull-shit', 29% 'horse-crap&#

Announcements to follow...

pbramwell 18.01.13 9:55am
British Prime Minister outsources his job to Algeria

At a fifth of his six-figure salary...

Ian Searle 18.01.13 9:52am
Ian Searle
Shock and Chaos on Newsbicuit as Non-Horse-Burger Story Posted 1
Titus 18.01.13 9:47am
Dick Everyman
Every Little Pony Helps

well, everyone else is having a go, I didn't want to miss out...

Sinnick 18.01.13 9:26am
Met office issues yellow snow warning

Coat collected At least it's not a horse burger joke. While I'm at it, what's with yellow, amber, red as a system of warnings?...

charlies_hat 18.01.13 9:05am
Algerian Special Forces attacked "In case Andy McNab turned up to advise" 0
dvo4fun 18.01.13 9:04am
British Snow Manufacturers Deny Outsourcing and Begin Shift-Work in the UK 0
Titus 18.01.13 9:02am
Tesco introduce new range of meat burgers 0
antharrison 18.01.13 1:01am
Apple Maps to be removed from helicopters 2
One Line Only 17.01.13 11:11pm