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Labour leadership to be decided by egg-and-spoon race 0
roybland 4 years

The Labour party is to choose its new leader by staging an egg-and-spoon race. ‘Members are tired of the old fashioned and lengthy balloting method,’ a Labour spokesman said. ‘We think an...

Paedophile community condemns Wee Jimmy Krankie blow up sex doll 1
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

The Paedo-Pound Shoppers Army (PSA) the political wing of the kiddy-fiddler community, which aims to gain acceptance through legitimate legal activity, has issued a formal apology for the Wee Jimmy...

Calcium pills don’t prevent os teop orosis fractures 0
roybland 4 years
Cameron's nationwide cuts starts with setting Liverpool adrift of the UK 1
brownpaperreporter 4 years

The Prime Minister has approved the latest plan to cut £300m of budget from Social Services but separating Liverpool from the rest of the UK. "With growing unemployment, a population with no desire...

Scientists Prove that Married Men Don’t Live Longer, It Just Feels Like It 2
Quaz 4 years

It has been one of the great arguments of the age. Studies show that married men live on average ten years longer than single men, yet single men and eminent club comedians have consistently...

Osama bin laden in possible UFC contract 0
BlackAndroid 4 years
Tabloids, legal experts explode in outraged confusion over 'Wikipaedo' site 1
Pabst Blue Ribbon 4 years

Tabloid editorials drifted into a sickened, confused outrage, as legal experts convened to deliberate over whether the controversial 'Wikipaedo' site could be said to have transgressed anyone's human...

David dickenson mistakingly sold at auction 0
BlackAndroid 4 years
David Hasselhoff hunted by police after Hadrian's Wall disturbance 6
Tristan Shout 4 years

Police are appealing to David Hasselhoff, star of Knight Rider and Baywatch, to hand himself in following a disturbance near Hadrian's Wall, Northumbria yesterday, in which Mr Hasselhoff, 58, was...

Leaked report: Troops in Afghan War are sexually frustrated, dead, or on leave 1
la maga 4 years
North Korea threatens massive invective strike against US 12
roybland 4 years

North Korean threats of a massive retaliatory invective strike against the US and South Korea intensified last night after the hermit communist state made clear its disapproval of war games being...

"You fat bastards" says government spokesman 2
jayjay22 4 years

The government has advised doctors to stop calling fat people "obese" and call them fat instead.So here goes.Robbie Williamsyou are fat...

Cheap overseas plastic surgery "a stitch up". 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Moderate bouncers condemn naked masturbating trampoline man 1
rickwestwell 4 years
Use of Botox 'frowned upon' 3
jp1885 4 years
Total Wipeout suicide bomber contestant just dieing to be the best. 0
BlackAndroid 4 years
Ex wife of failed footballer is well on the way to making a fool 7
arrghgarry 4 years

recovery after taking a Holiday in Tanzania with her girlfriend/boyfriend dancer friend., Cheryl wanted to show the world via lots of mediums that she was not going to give up her lucrative job...

Europe's butter mountain blamed on commodities traders and spread betting.... 0
deskpilot3 4 years
Gove defends claim of 1,000 school applications for academy status... 0
deskpilot3 4 years

"civil servants were counting in binary." "Bastards."...

UK's new, smallest bank already considering redundancies and downsizing. 0
deskpilot3 4 years

Also considering if naming itself after a free newspaper was such a good idea...

Coalition latest: UK democratic deficit hits record high. 0
deskpilot3 4 years

Economists believe that the democratic deficit is structural and unlikely to improve for at least five years, possibly ten...

David Miliband attacks 'loudmouth' Cameron. 0
deskpilot3 4 years

Cameron asks Miliband how mad his policies have to get before Labour can be arsed to object...

Horror as OAP Murdered by Peacocks 2
Evil Toaster 4 years

Agnus McDonald, 78, was the subject of a brutal attack, conducted by over 500 peacocks. The peacocks were the family pets of next door neighbour, Andy Thompson, 45, who has described the attack as...

Labour MPs demand higher pay before offering Government any proper opposition... 0
deskpilot3 4 years

They've been on strike since the election. You may have noticed. < any funnier this time? >...

Latest series of SpongeBob Squarepants to reflect newly oil-rich aquatic kingdom 9
ColinSlick 4 years

Fans of comical sea sponge SpongeBob Squarepants are to receive a shock when the new series launches later this summer. Gone are the whimsical tales of humorous starfish, mishaps with barnacles and...

New Bank to 'Lend Money' 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

A new High Street bank has promised to 'lend money'. 'Unlike most banks our business model does not depend upon ever increasing state handouts', said a spokesman. 'Anyone can take UK government money...

The "man with no name" originally casted as "Sweet Cheeks" 0
BlackAndroid 4 years
Bristol, "Open Space" bye laws ban temporary or permanent erections 0
hero2zero 4 years

Bristol Downs, a large parkland area near Bristol Suspension Bridge has strengthened its enforcement of a bye law banning both temporary and permanent erections, leaving picnickers short of...

Hitler diaries hint to cosmic ordering but no mention of deal or no deal 0
BlackAndroid 4 years
Ruling Planet Earth 'is a chore' says secret reptilian Illuminati 10
jp1885 4 years

The world of the conspiracy theorist is abuzz today, after he Illuminati, a race of reptilian aliens that have been secretly ruling the planet by masquerading as the world's leaders, admitted that...