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'My unsullied innocence means I am unable to sin' phone snatcher,11, tells court 0
la maga 4 years
Slipknot Drummer accepts award, reveals himself to be Justin Bieber 0
IamWibble 4 years
More matches investigated in Pakistan betting probe 0
Mrblacker 4 years

The ICC has confirmed that at least one other match involving the Pakistan cricket team is to be investigated by it's Anti-Corruption Unit. In a statement from it's Dubai headquarters, the ACU's...

West Ham United drop bid for Olympic Stadium, and sell Upton Park. No Moore soon 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years

Sad, very sad...

BBC tells Steven Hawking: You'll get a new series, when you get a mockney accent 1
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

BBC Commissioning editors have declared a 'get tough' policy on its talent, demanding higher standards and a commitment to diversity. It signalled its intentions with a sternly worded letter to...

Hopes rise as Ultimate Big Brother Fact-finders touch down in Chile 0
allmyownstunts 4 years
Gambling irregularities suspected 0
ramblesnake 4 years

As Pakistan cricket team stop for pee break at Scotch Corner services in journey from London to Bristol...

Cameron 'deliberately infected' Clegg with Public Sector Deficiency Syndrome 0
la maga 4 years

David Cameron has today been accused of having unprotected political intercourse with Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg despite knowing that he himself harboured the destructive illness Public...

Police fly to Panama in search of missing kayaker 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Man decides to only oppose wars with memorable bad guys 1
la maga 4 years

David Lebworth, a committed liberal from Hammersmith, London, last night threw up his hands in disgust and declared that he was sick of opposing wars in countries where he could barely pronounce let...

Notting Hill Carnival sees over 1 million people all dressed as Hugh Grant 1
Ludicity 4 years
Blair's christian lawyers to appeal 'Camel Versus Eye of Needle' ruling 8
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

Tony Blair's representatives on earth are convinced they have a good case to contest the diktat governing rich men's entry into heaven., Lawyers from Cherie Booth's Matrix Chambers law firm have...

Controversy over new range of pet carriers 1
virtuallywill 4 years

Prophets of doom swell jobless numbers across Britain 1
la maga 4 years

Prophets of doom are set to join the hordes of civil servants and small loans advisors on dole queues across Britain, it was claimed today by Oracle, the prophets' trade union. While civil servants...

Betting scam man wins £20 000 on wager that he’d be bailed today 0
Mother 4 years

The bailing police officer insists that there are NO suspicious circumstances...

After Tony Blair, which new Minister will be Morgan Stanley's next Apprentice? 0
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

., Themes:, New Series of the Apprentice., New set of cabinet ministers, desperate to audition for the coveted place on the board of a global corporation., Last year's competition saw Tony,...

Man arrested after alleged Test Match 0
virtuallywill 4 years

as clean as wrestling...

Pope cancels prayers for Chilean miners after they start requesting condoms 0
Ludicity 4 years
George Osborne to Sell off British Orphans 2
Quaz 4 years

In a bold move aimed at reducing the budget deficit, Chancellor George Osborne has announced the Government’s intention to privatise the UK’s stockpile of orphans and children in care within the...

British comedy must fall into line with Europe, Brussels demands 1
4 years

Mr Bean survives but Young Ones tapes to be deleted. British comedy has long been regarded as the world's finest. From Hancock's Half Hour in the 60s, through Fawlty Towers in the 70s, Only Fools...

“Depression not linked to child abuse”, claim Chilean minors. 0

More soon?...

Woman In Shock After Hearing of Pub Closure 0
estima 4 years

A 39 year old woman from the Canterbury area was being comforted by friends last night after her plans to attend an office Christmas outing were left in tatters when it transpired that the Red Lion...

EXCLUSIVE: Patrick Stewart's reaction to decline of the "face-palm" meme... 0
Crayola 4 years

US Iraq withdrawal confuses 36% of Americans waiting for the credits to roll 0
Crayola 4 years

These events are not fictional. Sadly...

Steven Moffats PC crashes. New Sherlock series has Daleks, Watson in miniskirt 0
Crayola 4 years

Internet Doctor Who fans vote Martin Freeman to 89 in FHM's 100 sexiest women...

CON-dem Government Announces New National Lottery Rules 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

Only Dave's mates in Kensington and Chelsea can play...

Lab technician kept constantly amused by witty retorts 0
MrChigleysAunt 4 years
Sword-Swallowing, Tory MP Dies 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

Sword-swallowing, Tory MP dies due to 'cutlass' accent...

Football Players Hiding in Bars and Clubs to be Press Ganged into England Squad 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

'We've decided to make them an offer they can't refuse', said a Mr 'Big' Tony, a troubleshooter, who has recently arrived from Sicily at the request of the England Coaching Team. 'We just want the...

World of statistic in shock as ONS employee accepts bribes on camera 0
4 years

The world of statistics gathering was reeling today following a News of the World sting in which an employee of the Office of National Statistics was secretly filmed accepted £150,000 to release...