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Christmas Cancelled as Kim Jong-Il is revealed as the real Santa Claus

The reason behind North Korea’s legendary paranoia was revealed as Kim Jong-Il died this morning and Christmas across the world had to be cancelled at short notice. ‘Father Christmas is dead, we...

Immunis 19.12.11 7:55pm
Good news as safety inspection give Fukushima nuclear plant "A glowing report". 5
dvo4fun 19.12.11 7:23pm
Cowell to judge in new series of ‘The Dictator Factor’ for North Korean TV

Simon Cowell has been signed up as the lead judge in North Korea’s search for a new supreme leader. The Dictator Factor will follow a number of Generals and Air Marshalls as they attempt to debate,...

Immunis 19.12.11 7:14pm
CIA claim ‘we were no where near Kim Jong-il when he was murdered’ 0
Immunis 19.12.11 7:13pm
God particle discovery reveals evidence that God is really, really, small 0
Immunis 19.12.11 7:13pm
Marketing team behind Incest by Paco Rabanne resign after poor sales. 0
reforse 19.12.11 6:44pm
Kim Jong-II set to rise again in 3 days time

More soon but definitely going down the route of a Jesus / Zombie...

SimonJJames 19.12.11 6:14pm
Kim Jong-il successor named as Sepp Blatter 0
TerribleTim 19.12.11 5:41pm
Kim Jong Il dies of ronery-ness aged 69.

Harrowwwwww more soon...

MADJEZ 19.12.11 5:20pm
Paxman and Osborne go head to head over economy

In a hard hitting interview for tonight's newsnight programme, Jeremy Paxman has succeeded in getting Mr Osborne to admit that he has serious doubts about how to bring the economy back into line and...

wallster 19.12.11 4:41pm
Des Custard
Cops dismiss constraint tactics of rioting fisherman as different kettle of fish 0
button 19.12.11 4:38pm
Modern extreme doggers confirm they wouldn't stoop as low as a Krankie 0
simonjmr 19.12.11 4:26pm
Kim Jong Dead - he'd been Il for a while 5
simonjmr 19.12.11 4:24pm
Nick Clegg ponders if his work / life balance is right? 0
simonjmr 19.12.11 4:23pm
Obituary - Kim Jong-il

Kim Jong-il has today died at the age of 69 from, according to local media, a severe case of caring too much. A secretive figure, much of what we know about his life is cobbled together from official...

Newsquelch 19.12.11 4:00pm
Cruel dictator dies of overwork

International news agencies have been reporting the death of a notorious tyrant and the leader of a secretive kleptomaniac society. Under his rule, millions of his people were kept in starvation and...

DorsetBoy 19.12.11 3:47pm
Kim Nominated with Posthumous Oscar for role as Kim Jong-il

Yuri Irsenovich Kim is to be nominated for a posthumous Oscar and Life time achievement award at the forth coming 84th Academy Award Ceremony in February. Kim, who famously undertook the role of...

A.Parody 19.12.11 3:47pm
Strictly and Dr Who stars back plan to rename BBC News as ‘News about the BBC’ 2
Duncan Biscuit 19.12.11 3:04pm
Ten million versions of "I was Jong-il's double" published in North Korea. 0
dominic_mcg 19.12.11 3:02pm
Cat’s life in balance as resistance develops to latest cat food

The life of Tibby, 7, from Carshalton, hangs in the balance today after she developed resistance to the latest, most powerful cat food last weekend. For months she had been kept alive by one...

Des Custard 19.12.11 2:50pm
EUripedes.... clothes off and underneath is.... SUPERCAM!!!!!!! He pushes planets out of orbit!, he leaps buildings with a single bound!!!, . he can resist pissing...

Son of Barnabas 19.12.11 1:56pm
Son of Barnabas
Football referees 'wreaking revenge on society' claims new report

Contrary to the widely-held belief that referees do their best at an increasingly difficult job, a new study claims that they are actually jumped-up, self-important control freaks expressing their...

Midfield Diamond 19.12.11 1:55pm
Midfield Diamond
Donald Neilson dies. Theme from Midnight Cowboy guaranteed Xmas No1.

is that right?...

wallster 19.12.11 1:48pm
Kim Jong Ill to be replaced by Jeffrey Bernard. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 19.12.11 1:32pm
Al OPecia
Environmentally conscious carpet cleaner tormented by his carbon footprint 0
medici2471 19.12.11 1:29pm
Joy as Footballers Wives goes to Christmas Number One

[digitally remastered in anticipation] It has been described as the ultimate feel-good story, an anthem sung by a choir made up entirely of the wives of Britain's heroic footballers, and it has now...

Oxbridge 19.12.11 1:11pm
Car traditionalists mourn as the last original Citroen Saxo gets pimped.

Wierdy beardy traditionalists were crying into their warm brown beer this weekend as it was announced that there are now no Citroen Saxo's remaining in their original condition. The last one was...

grottymonty 19.12.11 12:57pm
Wikileaks Trial: Bradley Manning to reveal family link to Bernard

Leaked information from the team defending Bradley Manning shows that he was deeply affected by the close family ties he had with his uncle, the late Bernard Manning. Few people know that British...

nickb 19.12.11 12:51pm
BB cured by AA

B B King said he can’t express his gratitude enough to Alcoholics Anonymous for helping him kick the bottle. ‘Goddadmit, I was fucked-up good n proper,’ said the original Black Blues man from...

malgor 19.12.11 12:18pm
Mixing metaphors - We ask, 'Is this the thin end of the slippery slope?' 3
Smart Alex 19.12.11 12:17pm
Son of Barnabas