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Footballers to fit squeakers in boots 5
ramblesnake 4 years

to provide a subtle musical counterpoint to vuvuzelas...

Daily Mail awards Prince Charles, 'architect of the year' prize 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

'Poundbury is nothing short of genius. It is surely better to look back to an imagined past than to look at the brutish work of sucessful architects. Prince Charles, once again, has his finger on the...

Murray turns down offer of "a ride through Paris" from Prince Phillip 0
andhrimnir 4 years

but agrees he will bow to the Queen if he plays on center court this week...

George Osbourne renames 11 Downing Street "Deepcut Barracks" 0
Skylarking 4 years
Osborne admits he will cut taxes, put up benefits and pensions 0
PluckyMunky 4 years

'I wanted it to be a surprise', said the bottom-nosed, Mr Osborne...

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QorbeQ 4 years
Home Office apologises to extremist suicide bomber 0
hero2zero 4 years

The Home Office issued an apology to Islamic extremist Tourettes sufferer, "It was inappropriate to describe him as a ticing bomb."...

'I just wanted to spend a penny', says man found in Royal Mint 0
PluckyMunky 4 years
Evidence of Jesus's first failed miracles uncovered 4
Zadok the second 4 years

A recently-translated ancient text has shed shocking light on some of Jesus's earliest attempts to get going as a prophet. The scroll, now known as the Fifth Gospel or Book of Rita, describes events...

Police may reopen GP death probe 3
virtuallywill 4 years For those of us of a certain age...

Elena Baltacha shows her solidarity with the English football team... 0
LittleSpender 4 years

by going out in the first round. Probably more will soon...

'It's not my Fault' says PM 0
Wetherby Pond 4 years

A sombre milestone was reached today when the 300th scaremongering speech, running down the economy was made by a member of the coalition. The speech was made by a junior minister from the Treasury....

Zero tolerance in South Africa as failure to find a toilet is now an offence. 2
Basil_B 4 years

Offending fan is now considering going for the lesser offence of trespassing into a changing room full of talentless goons...

After 7 nil defeat to Portugal, Kim Jong-il reserves 23 places in Korean Gulag. 0
Basil_B 4 years

Just to show his appreciation of his teams efforts North Korean Leader Kim Jong-il has made 23 places available for the whole team to be given an unwelcome return as permanent guests of the worst...

Referee Shocked By FIFA Revelation That Footballers May Tell Lies To Win 2
Svendo 4 years

French Referee Stephan Lannoy is said to be in a state of shock and confusion after a FIFA World Cup official told him that sometimes football players will bend the truth in order to gain an...

CERN To Start Work On Large Hadron Collander 1
Svendo 4 years

Physicists at CERN have decided that it's obviously too hard to try and get 2 protons to smash together so instead it has been proposed by leading boffin Prof. Stephen Hawking that instead of using a...

I love you 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

please click on link to find out why

No rift among those who say 'there is no rift' 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

Players told the media there is no rift among those who say there is no rift with their manager after rumours spread that some thought there was a rift. 'We all agree there is no rift'. More rift...

Hello lovey 0
anna rack 4 years

would anyone be interested in joining the afterwork stationary club?its open to all office workers and those interested in stationary.We meet on every last friday of each month in a pub and everyone...

John Prescot worried he maybe liable to pay tax for the first time. 0
Basil_B 4 years

This after hearing George Osbourne's threat to tax anything animal,vegetable or mineral all of which could apply to Prescot...

Student 'Crunchie point' is £7,000 says study 0
QorbeQ 4 years

The point at which students switch to chocolate bars to save funds is reached when they are £7,000 in debt, says a survey from a leading education charity. The Sutton Trust has questioned some...

Campanologists football team has more bells than England... 2
deskpilot3 4 years

and bigger ones too...

Breakthrough on Mrs Terry expected any day now, reports Wayne Bridge 2
StoopyDeGunt 4 years

Wayne Bridge, who ruled himself out of the World Cup for personal reasons, has not rested on his laurels. Indeed, he reports, he's been busier than ever, working on a project at the Surrey home of...

Rooney blamed by Capello for 'clear-the-air' meeting 0
timyarby 4 years

More air-freshener later...

Vuvuzelas origin revealed 0
4ty2 4 years

trned out that vuvuzelas originated from indonesian codpieces,, so remember before you blow one next time thanks to kev...

Hysterical laughter stops play at Wimbledon after man shouts ‘Come on Tim!’ 1
Ludicity 4 years

There was an outbreak of mass hysteria at The All England Tennis Championships today after a member of the audience shouted ‘Come on Tim!’ even though there was nobody called Tim actually playing...

Young man mauled by cougar at night club 0
virtuallywill 4 years

scratches and a sucking wound later...

Father's 'unbridalled joy' at gift of socks and beer 0
QorbeQ 4 years

'My barefoot, thirsty days are over,' says excited dad...

Coke addict not bothered by election of new Colombian president 0
la maga 4 years

Jono Greggs, account manager and habitual coke user, last night greeted the news of the victory of Colombia's ex-defense chief Santos in the presidential election with a shrug. "Yeah," he said. "It...

Bleakley defects as ITV supplies 3 years of fake tan 0
Laughingstock 4 years

The BBC only offered Factor 15 and Bleakey's Agent had originally requested Factor 25 in which ITV has agreed to supply...