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Prescott: "I still love Ashley Cole"

Readers of the Sunday Times were surprised today by words misattributed to former Deputy Prime Minister Lord Prescott. "You can't help who you love," he was alleged to have said. "And despite...

3
pthr 12.06.11 6:42pm
pthr
Balls denies project Vulva

Deeper later...

0
virtuallywill 12.06.11 6:39pm
virtuallywill
Cameron Persuades Lib Dems to Start Their Own Project Volvo

Following Nick Clegg’s unexpected success in saving the NHS, David Cameron has persuaded the Lib Dem leader that, as a significant force in British politics, the Lib Dem party really should have...

0
Deimos 12.06.11 6:35pm
Deimos
IMF hit by Cyber attack

http://i.thisislondon.co.uk/i/pix/2010/11/cybermen3_415.jpg...

0
virtuallywill 12.06.11 6:32pm
virtuallywill
Stoner surges to Silverstone victory on PS3 and celebrates with another spliff 0
button 12.06.11 6:01pm
button
Disappointment as Olympic fans miss major drug-test failure events

With just over 400 days to the London Olympics, fans are expressing disappointment at not getting tickets for the major events where drug-test failures are likely. ‘OK, I’ve got tickets for the...

0
roybland 12.06.11 5:15pm
roybland
Brucie: Mr Saturday Knight

Did I mention this before, ages ago?...

3
beau-jolly 12.06.11 4:54pm
be reasonable
Weiner to be handled by shrink. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 12.06.11 3:45pm
pthr
Incentives for households to generate own nuclear power 'ill-conceived'

The government is facing claims that their energy policy is 'flawed', after announcing new incentives for households to produce their own nuclear power. Ministers have been disappointed at the...

6
12.06.11 1:30pm
Betfred revealed as George Osborne’s Plan B

George Osborne hopes to hand the running of the British economy over to bookmakers Betfred if his deficit- reduction policy fails, it has been revealed. The chancellor - who has always denied he has...

0
roybland 12.06.11 12:04pm
roybland
Ken Clarke's unacceptable posture exposed in What a Gait scandal

Ken Clarke, with his unconventional views on rape and his ambassadorial role for the Chinese cigarette industry, should be a role model for young people in this country. Idolised by young fogeys,...

0
ronseal 12.06.11 9:00am
ronseal
God steps into policy row: “my boy really meant all the wishy-washy lefty stuff”

God today stepped into the simmering row between Church and Cabinet over Coalition policy and declared: “My boy really meant it about all the wishy-washy trendy lefty stuff.”, The Almighty told...

3
FraserWords 12.06.11 8:50am
FraserWords
Father gutted when teenage son finds barbecue that does clean itself

Brian Jones was less than amused after his son James (Jamie, actually) managed to come up with a barbecue that actually cleans itself James (Jamie) said “dad always had an answer, “yes you can...

1
brownpaperreporter 11.06.11 10:32pm
Al OPecia
Archbishop of Canterbury dismisses Second Coming as a poor sequel. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 11.06.11 7:35pm
dominic_mcg
Al Qaeda to advertise vacancies on Monster.

"must be educated to NVQ level three, or have similar experience in global terrorism."...

0
SingingHinny 11.06.11 7:26pm
SingingHinny
Newspaper censured for not using 'nice to knight you' Brucie headline

To knight you, nice...

5
FraserWords 11.06.11 6:50pm
FraserWords
Dyslexic Judge grants super injection

Champagne guzzling Zed list "celebreties are queing upI know I'm a crap speller!...

0
arnied 11.06.11 5:54pm
arnied
Kidnapped backpacker mainly worried about photo of her being used on the news

Trisha Campbell, a 31-year-old charity worker currently chained to a radiator in Yemen, was reported to be spending most of her time between being bundled roughly into the boot of cars and...

9
DrTurmoil 11.06.11 5:41pm
JonnyJP
Students criticise'impossible question' as 7x table appears in MediaStudies exam

The UKs exam bodies were again under scrutiny following yet another mistake in one of this years exam papers. Ofqual, the UKs regulator of examinations and qualifications has branded the series of...

10
JonnyJP 11.06.11 5:37pm
JonnyJP
Conservatives to indroduce voter friendly policies

The government is thought to be reconsidering its controversial plans to see through one of its policies., “We’ve had many years in opposition to refine and hone our policies that one of them...

2
virtuallywill 11.06.11 4:34pm
virtuallywill
No headlines here 2
virtuallywill 11.06.11 4:32pm
virtuallywill
UN refugee centers fill up as thousands flee saturday night violence in Glasgow

. Any one think there could be a full story in this one, taking the piss of the violence in Syria ?...

0
thackaray 11.06.11 4:32pm
thackaray
Man Boobs to Save the Planet

The new technology of Frictitious Energy Generation is being pioneered in deprived areas such as Radcliffe and Salford in Greater Manchester, whereby unemployed men suffering from long term moobs are...

5
The Underpant 11.06.11 4:25pm
The Underpant
Balls leak delights fans of double entendre

Lovers of risqué puns could barely contain their delight today as the Ed Balls scandal continued to simmer. Guffaws were heard when Michael Gove, the Education Secretary, refused to be blamed for...

9
pthr 11.06.11 3:19pm
bonjonelson
Ryan Giggs retires from football, starts acting on "Pobol y cwm" on S4C

"Although we don't understand his Welsh, we do understand his body language" says TV producers...

0
JohnA 11.06.11 12:34pm
JohnA
Group Of Drunken Bankers (No Brucie) Let Cat Out Of The Bag....

By coming up with the slogan, "Nice to fleece you, to fleece you, nice."...

0
Jesse Bigg 11.06.11 12:21pm
Jesse Bigg
Bunny born without ears near Fukushima plant isn't worried as he doesn't watchTV 0
doggone 11.06.11 12:14pm
doggone
Crew Of "SS Aston Villa" Start To Abandon Ship.....

.As local supporting pirates try a take-over., "It's us lads who'll choose the next team leader,OK!"...

0
Jesse Bigg 11.06.11 11:58am
Jesse Bigg
Volvo fears irreparable brand damage after Brown-Blair feud revelations 1
Duncan Biscuit 11.06.11 11:47am
FraserWords
Giggs 'wrecking image of sheep-loving Welsh'

Football love rat Ryan Giggs is tarnishing the image of his native Wales, said campaigners yesterday., MP Ron Bonkers fumed: “We’ve spent decades carefully building up a comedy image of Welsh...

6
FraserWords 11.06.11 11:40am
FraserWords